


Blackwork

by PestoMonkey



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-15
Updated: 2012-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-08 07:56:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 96,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/440950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PestoMonkey/pseuds/PestoMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An erotic love story that follows the progression of behind-the-scenes events after James Vega makes good on his flirtations with Commander Shepard. Includes alternate *happy* ME3 ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Making Good

**Author's Note:**

> This story started out as a oneshot. There was originally going to be only one chapter, but I got caught up in it and it turned into an entire story that revolves pretty exclusively around the bedroom scenes that happen between these two characters. There will certainly be some game event-related action and a small amount of mushy tension but it is for the most part a feel-good story intended to fulfill the emptiness left by the ending of ME3 (because when BioWare gives you lemons... well, I think we know what we like to do with lemons). Just be warned, while the first chapter is just a little erotic, later chapters get a bit more graphic in the sex department, but it's still pretty tame in my personal opinion... I try hard to keep it hot and romantic and not unnecessarily crude or graphic. Also, I took a little creative license with the timeline near the beginning, but for the most part the bulk of the story happens in the order of actual game events.
> 
> I am also going to work in some non-canon details that will allow me to work up to an alternate ending.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Mass Effect, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

James had been mulling over Shepard's casual comment about making good on his flirting all afternoon. He didn't really think she was serious, but damn, what a way to make a guy rethink his position.

They'd been flirting back and forth for weeks and she'd never hinted that she was actually interested in something more, so he'd just brushed it off. Especially after learning that her old flame was joining them on the _Normandy_. The second human Spectre, Kaidan Alenko. And boy did  _he_  have a hard act to follow. Vega didn't envy the guy. Well, maybe he envied him a little... but not the Spectre part. He wondered what kindof  _cojones_  the man must have to be able to get the infamous Commander Shepard into bed.

He winced as the tattoo needle dug into his skin a little harder. "Ow, careful!"

"We can take a break if you want," the tattooist said, sounding impatient.

"Nah... get it done."

"You asked for it to be big... it's still gonna take awhile, and I have to go deeper with the red ink for it to be vibrant."

"Get it done," James reiterated, wishing he'd taken the time to look up an old friend in the Lower Wards instead of the Batarian scumbag who was currently inking his skin.

The needles buzzed as the tattooist dug into his skin again. He wondered idly if Shepard had any ink. His mind drifted to an imaginary scenario in which she pulled him into the _Normandy_ 's elevator and clandestinely displayed her own artwork to him after tracing soft fingertips over the blackwork that covered the side of his neck and disappeared beneath the collar of his shirt. A small part of his mind rejected the fantasy, telling him that she'd never behave that way, but he still went with it.

In his mind, she turned her back to him and pulled up her shirt a few inches, then shoved the waistband of her pants down a few inches, just enough to display... whatever it was. It never mattered to him what her artwork looked like because in his fantasy he never actually looked at it. He got too distracted by the tantalizing view of the top of her ass crack and the tee of a black lace thong that peeked out from her pants. In his fantasy he always hit the "Stop" button on the elevator just before he sidled up behind her and pushed her pants down past her hips and the round swell of her ass.

In his fantasy, she would stand there looking over her shoulder and daring him to go further. So he would unzip his fly, spread her cheeks wide with his large hands, and plunge his hard length into her. She'd be hot and wet and ready, and he'd have his way with her right there in between decks of the _Normandy_. She was a screamer in his fantasy and he always got hard just thinking about it.

In his fantasies he was never a subtle guy, but the truth was that was never something he would actually do. Especially not with a woman who could make him blush the way she did. No. If they ever actually got together... and that was a  _big_  "if"... he was pretty sure she would have the upper hand the entire time. And, truth be told, that idea turned him on more than anything. Fuck yeah, he wanted to be manhandled by her. Who wouldn't? Especially after she'd laid him out that day when he'd challenged her to a sparring match in the shuttle bay. He probably needed his head examined if he got turned on over getting beat up by a woman, though.

But Shepard wasn't just  _any_  woman. She was the first human Spectre, a member of that elite group of black ops soldiers that answered only to the Citadel council. She 'd defeated the Reaper, Sovereign, and saved the lives of said council. She'd destroyed the Collector base on a suicide mission that somehow she'd brought her entire crew back from alive. She'd defeated countless other foes that would have left the average soldier quaking in his boots - even the average N7 soldier. He wondered briefly how many thresher maws she'd gone toe to toe with... or toe to tail, he supposed. And she'd come back from the fucking  _dead_  to do half of that.

"So you know Commander Shepard?" he heard the tattooist say in an attempt to make idle conversation.

"Not really," he admitted.

"You two seemed pretty chummy when she was here earlier," said the Batarian with a needle to his back.

"She's my commanding officer. We're not 'chummy'," he insisted.

"Uh huh," the tattooist said, clearly unconvinced.

"Ow!" Vega said.

* * *

"So, let's see it," Shepard said to his back as she walked into the shuttle bay. She gave a nod to Steve Cortez as she passed by the requisitions terminal and stopped by James' station. His countertop was strewn as usual with bits and pieces of the weapons he was in the process of modding. She recognized pieces of the M-300 Claymore scattered about, which she knew was his baby. He must be upgrading it, she thought. She leaned casually against the heavy canvas punching bag that hung nearby.

He was wearing a threadbare white t-shirt that hugged his large muscles like a second skin. She could see small spots of ink and blood seeping through on the back of his shoulder in the rough outline of the N7 insignia.

"Hey, Lola," he said, fiddling delicately with a small screwdriver against the stock of the gun before turning to face her.

Her eyes trailed over his shoulders and down his pecs, the dark outlines of his tattoos clearly visible beneath the too-thin fabric of his shirt. In a flirty tone, she said, "I don't think that shirt is to regs, soldier. Do I need to kick your ass again?"

He blushed. Damn, how did she manage to  _do_  that? He coughed softly into a fist and looked at her, shrugging. "I didn't want to get blood and ink on my good shirt, but if you insist..."

He pulled the shirt off over his head, his muscles flexing and rippling. Shepard gazed at him appreciatively, her eyes raking over him. He took two steps towards her, watching her watch him. He thought he saw her gaze linger thoughtfully just below his belt for a second. Maybe he'd imagined it, but maybe she  _was_ interested in more than just flirting with him.

"You seem distracted, Lola," he said to her in a low, teasing voice. "Anything you want to share?"

She cleared her throat and forced her eyes back up to meet his. She  _had_  been distracted. The t-shirts he usually wore left little to the imagination, but she hadn't been prepared for her reaction when he actually took it off. She hadn't gotten quite so nice a view of him earlier in the day when she'd seen him under the needle.

 _Get a grip, he's your subordinate,_  she reprimanded herself _._  Like  _that_  really mattered in the grand scheme of things anymore. And as a Spectre she had the option to disregard Alliance chain of command anyway. Rank certainly hadn't mattered to her with Kaidan at the beginning. She had been considering rekindling things with her former lover, but had reservations. Things would be… complicated... with Kaidan and she  _really_  didn't need complicated right now with the Reaper invasion to deal with.

She crossed her arms under her breasts and smiled coyly at the heavily muscled, half-dressed soldier who stood before her. "Are you going to show me, James, or are you just going to stand there staring at my tits?"

"Okay, okay." A smile quirked at the side of his mouth and he actually  _did_  look at her breasts just before turning around.

He heard her make a little hum of approval and felt a soft touch trail over his shoulderblade along the edge of the new ink. He felt the prickle of gooseflesh rising up on him in the cool air of the shuttle bay, but it wasn't only his skin that reacted to her. He took a deep breath, willing away the tightness in his groin before he would have to turn and face her again.

"You added color," she said with a slight air of interest, and he felt her fingertips trace the skin around the red triangle that flanked the heavy black lettering of the N7 insignia that was freshly tattooed on his muscular shoulder.

"Yeah, I just couldn't imagine it without the red for some reason." He shrugged lightly and felt her hand drift down his spine before falling away when it reached his belt. He shivered.

He turned to look at her with a grin and said, "So, Commander... I showed you mine. Now it's your turn."

She raised an eyebrow at the suggestive tone of his request and laughed a low, throaty laugh. "I hate to disappoint you, James, but I don't actually have any tattoos.

The dejected look he gave her made her feel like she had just kicked his puppy.

"Not even a little one?" he asked. "Like maybe on your low back... just above your..." his voice trailed off as his hands made a subtle gripping motion, which he realized at the last moment might be a little inappropriate. He dropped his hands abruptly to his sides.

She gave him an amused smile. Clearly this was an idea he'd been invested in. She shrugged.

"Sorry... besides, even if I'd had one, it would be gone now. I don't even have any of the scars I had before Cerberus got ahold of my body two years ago. They completely reconstructed my skin, head to toe, when they resurrected me."

"You're shitting me," he said, clearly impressed. "I had no idea it was that extensive... I mean, I knew they brought you back from the dead but that's just... huh. Was  _everything_ reconstructed? Is there anything left that's real?"

She saw where he was going with that question as his eyes drifted back to her breasts. She laughed. "I do still have a few stock parts,  _Lieutenant_ , and they still work  _just fine_."

At least they'd worked the last time she'd used them, but it had been awhile. Looking at James she felt the old urge swell in her to test things out again. Just to make sure everything was still in working order of course. As Garrus often said - sometimes a bit suggestively when within her earshot - it was never good to let the equipment sit unused for too long, you didn't want it to rust, after all.

It had been awhile. She recalled a certain Cerberus operative sharing her bed months earlier before their suicide mission to the Collector base, but they'd both gone their separate ways since. She wondered idly where Jacob Taylor had ended up after she'd made the announcement to the crew that she intended to turn herself and the _Normandy_ in to the Alliance and offered everyone an out on Omega, knowing that if they didn't book it then, they'd all be taken into custody the second she reached Earth. She had been surprised when a few had actually offered to stay. "You need someone to fly this thing, Shepard," Joker had said, but she'd secretly suspected he really just didn't want to leave the _Normandy_.

So, yeah... it  _had_  been awhile. And she had to admit, part of her reluctance to get back together with Kaidan was because the last time she'd been with  _him_  had been before she'd even died, and she feared things would feel wrong to him. She still cared about him, but knew it would be less of an emotional landmine if she just avoided intimacy with him altogether. She had a strong feeling he felt the same way, which was some consolation.

"Well, they did a fantastic job putting you back together," James said, his deep voice drawing her back from her reverie. She drew in a deep breath and silently cursed herself. Had she actually been thinking about old lovers with  _that_  hunk of muscle half naked in front of her? Was she losing her fucking mind?

She barely noticed as his gaze drifted over her body with frank appreciation, then moved back to her eyes. She was busy with her own distractions as she eyed his naked torso, her gaze flicking over his tattoos, down his stomach, past his six-pack abs. She licked her lips and the tip of her pink tongue drifted across her lower lip, leaving a sheen of glistening wetness behind.

James cleared his throat and grabbed his shirt off the table, holding it strategically in front of his zipper. "Um... Can I put my shirt back on now,  _Commander_? Or are you just going to stand there staring at my pecs?"

"Touché," she said with a laugh and turned to go. He stood watching her hips sway as she took a few steps towards the elevator.  _Watching her walk away is not the best way to get rid of a hard-on,_   _pendejo_ , he thought.

She hesitated for a split second and turned back around, striding purposefully back towards him. When she got close, she leaned in and raised a hand to lightly grip the back of his neck, pulling him towards her. He didn't think it was possible to be more turned on at that point, but realized he was dead wrong. His heart pounded inside his chest.

Her soft lips grazed his ear and she whispered huskily, "If you'd like a test drive of Cerberus' most expensive project to date, come by my quarters later."

He looked at her, surprised. "Is that an order, Commander?" he asked as an apprehensive but delighted smile began to spread across his face.

"It is if you need it to be, Lieutenant," she replied with a suggestive tilt to her mouth and strode back to the elevator, shooting him a quick smile just before the doors closed.

* * *

A few hours later James entered the elevator from the crew deck, freshly showered and in a clean, regulation Alliance t-shirt. He punched the button for Deck 1, then leaned back against the wall, gathering himself for whatever might happen that evening.

"Hold that!" he heard a gruff male voice yell out and Kaidan Alenko's slight, dark-haired figure quickly came into view, shoving his arm in between the doors and stepping into the elevator seconds before they closed .

"Lieutenant," Kaidan nodded at him.

"Major," James returned in greeting, offering a casual salute.

Kaidan turned to punch his floor and hesitated when he saw the button for Deck 1 lit up. He turned and gave James a searching look, his eyes resting finally on the bottle of Peruvian whiskey clutched in James' fist. Kaidan just received an impassive stare in response. He cleared his throat and punched the button to take him to the CIC, staring forward as the lift began to move again.

As Kaidan was stepping off a moment later, he hesitated for a second and turned back.

"Good move with the whiskey," he said with a nod towards the bottle. "She'll like that."

James looked surprised for a second and looked down at the bottle he held in his hand.

"Uh... thanks man," he said with a nod.

Kaidan nodded in return and strode out of sight.

The elevator doors whooshed closed and James tensed as he felt it begin rising again. It felt just a little weird that her old lover knew what he was up to and had apparently just given his blessing. James really had no clue how things were going to play out, though. He thought maybe they'd have a drink or two and then one of them would make a move if it felt right. And he had to believe it _would_  feel right at some point. After all, the flirting had felt as natural as anything so there was clearly an attraction. She wouldn't have invited him otherwise, would she?

Suddenly the doors whooshed open again and he stood paralyzed for a second staring at the corridor outside her quarters. He finally took a deep breath and forced his legs to move to her door. He pushed the comm button and heard her voice say, "Come in, James".

He entered and paused for a moment in the doorway, adjusting his eyes to the dimmer light of her quarters. He'd only been in here once before and had made a dumb comment about it being too soft, but he realized he'd been exaggerating. It was almost as stark as the crew quarters were. Sure, she had a bigger bed with more pillows, but that was the limit of the 'softness' and she had insisted that the bed was harder than it looked. He was looking forward to testing that theory.

"Nice fish," he said, gesturing to the glowing wall-sized aquarium. It had been devoid of life the last time he'd seen it, but now held a nice variation of different galactic species of aquatic life flitting about.

"James," he heard her voice speaking to him as he studied the fish. He turned abruptly and saw her seated comfortably on the sofa that bordered one low wall of her bedroom. She beckoned to him and patted the seat next to her softly.

As if on autopilot, he walked down the steps to her sunken living area and sat down on the sofa where she indicated.

"Oh! You brought whiskey," she said, her eyes lighting up as she saw the bottle. He handed it to her and she leaned to the coffee table grabbing two clean glasses she'd apparently had waiting. She uncorked the bottle and poured them each a measure of the rich-smelling liquor, handing him one tumbler and tilting the other to her lips.

He took a slow sip and finally looked at her. The first thing he noticed was that she'd taken her hair down and it fell in thick, black waves down her back and over her shoulders, framing her pretty face. It had never occurred to him how much hair she actually had until now because she'd always kept it pinned up in a tight coil at the back of her head. She'd never let it down that he'd seen, even during the period when he'd been guarding her while she was in custody at Alliance headquarters on Earth.  _War criminal my ass,_  he thought.  _She's already prevented infinitely more deaths than she's caused_. That already felt like a millennium ago.

He watched as she tossed back the short glass of whiskey and then poured herself another before sitting back and looking at him with her pale, piercing blue eyes. He felt a little self conscious under her steady, intelligent gaze.

"I like the look," he said, trying to sound casual and gesturing at her hair. "It's good on you." He reached out with his free hand and twirled a loose black wave around one finger.

"I'll be damned," he heard her say with abrupt realization. He looked at her with his brow creased. She sat looking at him with an expression of mild surprise on her face.

"You're nervous, aren't you, James?" she asked as if it were the biggest discovery of the century.

He sat speechless for a second at the accusation, a wave of conflicting responses stampeding through his mind. Finally he shrugged in surrender.

"Maybe a little," he said with a weak smile at her. "You  _are_  Commander Shepard... larger than life."

"Do I really seem that way to you right now?" she asked softly. She turned towards him and pulled one leg up onto the sofa, bending her knee. Her posture and her expression carried an air of command that her voice hadn't, even as relaxed as she was. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to give her an honest answer.

He took another long swallow of whiskey and waited for several seconds until he started feeling the low burn in his center and everything around him became a little softer. Then he looked at her.

He studied her intently for several moments. She seemed... different than he was used to, that much was certain at first. Her dark, wavy hair was thick and loose around her shoulders, her pale face was slightly flushed from the whiskey. She seemed calm but concerned. She was beautiful, he realized. He'd never thought of her that way when she was in uniform with her hair bound up. She was always just the Commander. The badass bitch who'd kicked the Collectors' asses, which was sexy as hell on its own. But now that all her hard edges seemed to have been chiseled away it was obvious to him she was one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. And she'd decided to spend the night with him.  _Don't fuck this up, pendejo,_  he heard a small voice say inside his head.

"No. You seem... real," he said as his eyes roved over her.

She was wearing a snug black shirt with long sleeves and a red stripe down one arm - standard N7 issue casual wear, he realized. But she wore it  _very_  well. It hugged her in all the right places, and he realized abruptly that she wasn't wearing a bra, either. The hard tips of her breasts pushed alluringly at the soft fabric. He raised an eyebrow at the questions  _that_ brought up as his gaze went lower to her snug black pajama bottoms and bare feet.

She smiled at him and took a sip of whiskey. "What are you thinking, James?" she asked with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

He smiled back. "Just wondering if you're wearing any underwear underneath that," he answered honestly, gesturing to her clothing.

"Well, I guess there's one way for you to find out," she said suggestively, smiling behind her glass.

He finished his drink in a quick swallow and set the glass back on the table.  _It really is liquid courage_ , he thought as he kicked off his boots and socks, wiggling his bare toes against the rough carpet beneath them.

He turned his head to look at her and saw her studying him intently. She finished her own drink and set the empty glass on the table. She reached for the bottle and waved it at him gently with a look of inquiry. He shook his head and she set it down again and leaned back on the sofa, gazing at him with her clear blue eyes.

"It's a shame you don't wear it down more often," he said softly. He reached out a hand and toyed with one of the dark waves of her hair that cascaded over her breast, twisting it around one of his large fingers. As his hand hovered there his fingers brushed accidentally over the hard tip that strained through the fabric of the shirt. He heard a sharp intake of breath at the contact and saw her pupils expand with arousal.

He responded to the slight cue, shifting closer to her and sliding his hand down, caressing the side of her breast and then cupping it softly through the fabric of her shirt. He flicked his thumb over its hard tip, eliciting a soft moan from her. He raised his other hand and slid it to the back of her neck, threading his fingers into her thick, dark hair. He paused for a second, looking into her eyes and drawing courage from the desperate heat he saw within them. He pulled her towards him and captured her mouth in his.

Her lips were soft and tasted of whiskey. His heart sped up when he felt her tongue dart out and tease at his lower lip. He plunged his own tongue past her parted lips, exploring and tasting as he went. She moaned softly in response and he felt her shift positions, sliding closer to him. She pulled back from him and he saw her flushed face briefly. Her lips were slightly parted and raw desire filled her eyes. She shifted closer towards him and slung her leg over his hips, straddling him and looking down at him.

He felt her hips rest on his and the exquisite pressure of her weight on his erection made him feel like he was about to explode out of his black fatigues. His hands fell to her hips and gripped her tightly. He felt her hips grind against his and he moaned, then her mouth was on his, muffling his small exclamations of pleasure.

God, he wanted her. He didn't care if she was his commanding officer. She was just an amazingly beautiful, sexy woman who'd all but thrown herself at him, and here she was, wrapped around him and moaning in pleasure.  _Don't fuck this up, dumbass._

He snaked one hand under the hem of her shirt, enjoying the feel of her soft skin beneath his fingertips as he trailed them up her spine. He slid his hand around to her chest and cupped one of her full breasts, tweaking the tip gently between his thumb and forefinger. She let out a low moan against his mouth. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled up, forcing her to break away from their kiss. She sat back and gave him a small, sultry smile and raised her arms up so he could pull the shirt off over her head.

Damn, she was as perfect as he'd always imagined she would be. He couldn't help but just sit and gaze at her bare, creamy skin for a moment. Her voice finally brought him back to the present.

"You just going to sit and stare at them?" Shepard said, looking down at him with an amused expression.

"So... these are the originals?" he asked, looking up at her with a smile as he admired her breasts.

"Except for the skin, yeah," she said with a perplexed grin.

"Huh... I guess even Cerberus knew they couldn't improve on perfection," he said distractedly, and reverently slid his hands up her sides and cupped both breasts.

He leaned in and flicked his tongue gently over one hard, pink tip, inciting another moan of pleasure from her. He spent a moment giving equal attention to both creamy, pink-tipped orbs and felt her fingers twine through his short-cropped hair as she writhed in pleasure on his lap. He pulled back to meet her eyes and her mouth was on his again, kissing him hungrily.

"Shirt. Off. Now," she insisted, pulling at the hem of his tight white t-shirt. He obliged by lifting his arms so she could pull the garment off over his head.

He shivered as she traced her fingertips over the dark tattoos that covered the side of his neck and his shoulder. She bent her head and placed soft kisses along the path her fingertips burned onto his skin. He moaned as her mouth moved lower, her soft, wet tongue darting out and teasing at his nipples. She kissed her way back up to his mouth and her lips locked with his again. Her hands trailed lower down his abdomen and he felt a soft tug as she began to unfasten the button of his fatigues and there was a light, tickling vibration against his erection as his zipper came down.

He wrapped his arms around her back and held her tightly, reveling in the feel of her warm, naked skin against his. He stood up and carried her to the bed. She stopped kissing him for a moment and met his eyes with a smile of approval. He laid her down and gripped the waistband of her pants, pulling them down slowly over her hips, pausing and smiling when he saw that she was, indeed, not wearing underwear beneath. So much for the black lace thong fantasy, he thought, but he wasn't particularly disappointed with the alternative, if he had to admit it. Seeing the black muff between her thighs was more than enough to make up for it.

He pulled her pants the rest of the way off, then quickly divested himself of his own pants. He smiled at her look of appreciation as her eyes raked over his naked body. Her gaze lingered below his waist and he felt a sudden throb in his groin when her tongue snaked out and she licked her lips. Her long legs scissored together briefly before he reached down and pulled her ankles apart, his mouth quirked in a soft smile.

"I have some work to do, Commander, now hold still..." He parted her thighs with his large hands and moved down between them. She bent her knees and opened up to him eagerly and he slid one hand gently down her inner thigh in a soft caress until he reached the dark fringe that covered the folds of her sex. With both thumbs he gently spread her open and slid one large digit gently over her slick, velvety flesh. He heard her moan and her hips rose up slightly in response to his light touch. He felt her fingers slide through his hair as he bent for a first taste, then shortly lost himself in the feel of her soft flesh against his tongue.

She writhed beneath him as his tongue went to work on her. He heard her gasp out soft exclamations of pleasure and praise that just egged him on. He gently sucked and teased at her small, pulsing bud, relentlessly teasing until he heard her scream his name when he finally made her come several minutes later, then she lay there nearly helpless and gasping for breath. He kissed her lightly on the hip and slid his his tanned, muscular bulk up her body, supporting his weight on one elbow while one large hand caressed her silky skin and his mouth kissed gently as he went.

He paused at her breasts, teasing again at their tips until she moaned in ecstasy. She could feel his hard length of engorged sex pressing against her hip and reached down with one hand to stroke him gently. He let out a deep moan against her breast at the feel of her hand on him and shifted up further, bending his head over hers and kissing her deeply while she continued to stroke him.

When he broke from the kiss a moment later, she said in a husky voice, "Fuck me, James."

Sweeter words he thought he'd never heard. He smiled and shifted his body to cover hers, holding himself above her on both elbows. He felt her legs wrap around him almost instantly and he reached one hand down between them to position himself at her slick entrance.

"Yes," he heard her whisper when his tip parted her soft, wet folds. She tilted her head back and moaned in ecstasy as he slowly slid his thick, hard length into her.

"Oh, fuck, you feel  _so_  good," she gasped, meeting his eyes again.

Words could not begin to describe the exquisite pleasure he felt being inside her. Not even his silly fantasies came close to how good she felt with her hot flesh wrapped around him and her naked skin sliding against his. He groaned when he felt her legs tighten around his hips, pulling him deeper into her.

"Fuck me," she whispered again insistently as her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him into a deep, penetrating kiss.

He began to pump into her slowly and deliberately, seeking to enjoy every second and make this night last as long as possible. Her hips rose up to meet him with each steady thrust. He felt her tempo begin to increase subtly and sped up to meet her pace. He broke away from their kiss and bent his head to her breast, capturing one hard, pink bud between his lips and sucking. She moaned and bucked her hips harder against his in response. He switched to the other breast and she arched her back, gasping in pleasure.

He felt her legs clench him tighter and her hands suddenly gripped his head, urging him back up and kissing him fervently. The clench of her muscles around him was deliciously tight and he soon felt the familiar pressure building at the base of his shaft. He moaned against her lips and she made a low sound in her throat that began to grow in volume. Her hips began grinding almost violently against his and she broke from the kiss, crying out his name as her orgasm took her. The spasm of her tight muscles drew him abruptly to his own release and he dropped his head to her shoulder letting out a guttural groan accompanied by a final series of hard, deep thrusts.

He let out a few quick, ragged breaths as he felt the contractions of his orgasm finally subside and the exquisite clench of her muscles relaxed. He collapsed beside her and lay breathing heavily.

She sighed next to him and nuzzled softly against his neck.

"Shepard, that was amazing," he said, staring at the field of stars beyond her skylight and blinking with surprise.

"It's Lola, pendejo," she said huskily, "And we're not even close to finished for the night."


	2. Steam

Shepard sat in her quarters, still in her uniform, grungy with the dust of the Krogan homeworld and staring at the deep amber liquid in the bottom of the glass. She knew there would be sacrifices to be able to gain an advantage over the Reapers. She felt like an idiot that she'd subconsciously assumed the sacrifices wouldn't hit so close to home. Not that  _any_  sacrifice was really justified, but she understood that war had a price. She  _knew_ that. So why did it still hurt so much when her close friends were numbered among the casualties? Maybe the question held the answer... they were just a number now; just another casualty of war. But at least she knew otherwise. She and her crew knew what their sacrifices really meant. For the first time she felt grateful to have Allers on board the _Normandy_. At the very least she could make sure the rest of the galaxy was aware of what had happened, too.

She'd been back in her quarters for about an hour after her team had returned from their extended mission on Tuchanka. Mordin... and the Turian Primarch's son... it broke her heart that two so noble individuals had been wiped out of existence in the pursuit of a very likely futile endeavor. Curing the genophage was a feat in itself, but what would it mean ultimately if the Reapers prevailed?

But she couldn't think like that. She had to believe they would win. Otherwise all the sacrifices would have been in vain.

She swallowed the whiskey in one long gulp and poured herself another shot.  _James really does have good taste in liquor_ , she thought idly as she lifted the glass up and inhaled the rich aroma before taking a deep swallow.

The smell and taste of it brought her back to the night she'd spent with the muscular marine a week earlier. He had been a very nice distraction from the stresses of their mission, but he'd also become a friend since that night. At least she liked to think so. She realized she may have a skewed perspective of who on her crew were really "friends" considering she was their superior officer. But she believed he was one of the few now. Maybe even someone to be elevated to the level of confidante along with Liara and Garrus, who were without a doubt her two closest friends. She knew Kaidan was attempting to get back into her good graces but she still felt some lingering hostility towards him after Horizon that prevented her from overcoming her trust issues. She hoped that would change, but didn't see them rekindling their old romance in any case.

But James was an anomaly compared to what she was used to when it came to men she'd been intimate with. Even after sleeping together he hadn't attempted to assert himself into her life or undermine her command in any way. He still seemed unwaveringly loyal, and she had been relieved that he'd remained utterly professional towards her after their night of steamy sex.

If anything, her own behavior towards him was the biggest indicator that there was anything going on between them, and Steve had even told her as much when she'd visited the shuttle bay in between legs of their mission.

She'd stood chatting with the pilot for a few moments but had kept casting distracted glances over at James' station where he was in the process of giving his punching bag a run for its money.

"Commander..." Steve had ventured slowly. "Don't take this the wrong way, but you might want to dial it down a notch. At least in public." He'd glanced over at James, then back to her. She'd stood speechless for a split second before saying, "Duly noted. Thanks, Lieutenant."

Steve smiled at her and said, "And off the record? I haven't seen Vega so energized since we left Earth... Whatever you did... keep doing it."

"Just... in private, of course," she'd finished with a solemn look. She got a little irritated at the implications, however. It was her ship, she could fraternize with her subordinate if she wanted. Who was anyone to say otherwise? But if it meant there was fallout for James... maybe Steve was right. She didn't want to make  _his_  life harder just because she wanted to sleep with him.

But they hadn't since. Things had been just a little hectic since that night. They'd arrived on Tuchanka late the next day and she'd been solidly absorbed with their missions for the next seven days. James had been beside her every step of the way, but they'd never gotten a chance to stop and talk privately. The most she'd gotten was a few "Lolas" here and there, in a particularly interesting tone that she'd never heard from him before, and every time he said it she got wet, even if they were in the middle of a firefight. She still wondered what the true significance of the nickname was.  _You just look like a Lola,_  was all he'd said with a light shrug when he'd bestowed it upon her. She snorted softly in amusement. James and his silly nicknames.

The whiskey finally started seeping into her bones, turning them elastic. She sat back on the sofa and sighed softly, but her thoughts returned to Mordin and Victus and she gripped her empty glass hard in frustration. The emotions she thought had finally subsided welled up in her again. It wasn't okay that they'd had to die this way. In what universe was that okay?

"Fuck!" she yelled, and stood abruptly, throwing the glass against the bulkhead across the room. It shattered with a gratifying explosion, shards scattering and settling to the ground. She crunched over the broken glass in her boots, scowling fiercely, and began stripping off her gear, throwing her garments to the floor as she went.

The comm at her door beeped when she was halfway to the lavatory and she shot a harsh "What!" at it as she began pulling off her fatigues. She cursed when she realized she still hadn't removed her boots. She sat down on her desk chair with her pants bunched halfway down her legs and attempted to remedy the problem.

A disembodied voice came through the speaker, "Commander... do you have a minute?"

 _James?_  She thought, his deep voice throwing a cool blanket over her earlier rage.

"Uh... come in," she said and the door to her quarters whooshed open, displaying his bulky form in his usual snug white t-shirt and black fatigues.

He stepped in and stood watching her for a moment from the entryway as she struggled drunkenly with the laces of her boots.

He let out an amused snort. "Need help with that, Lola?"

"Fuck you."

"Happy to oblige, but maybe when you aren't quite so hostile," he said with a smirk.

"What do you want, James?" she blurted out harshly, and mentally kicked herself for her tone.

James cleared his throat. "Well... the mission was kindof rough. I just wanted to make sure you were holding up okay, but I can leave you  _alone_ if that's what you want."

Her shoulders sagged and she gave up on her boots for the time being. She sighed and scrubbed her hands over her face, then sat forward with her elbows propped on her knees.

"Don't go," she said softly. "I could use someone  _sane_  to give me some perspective tonight."

He laughed. "And you think I'm the picture of sanity? You remember Mars, right?"

She laughed silently as she recalled his reckless behavior on Mars, playing chicken in her Kodiak with the enemy's shuttle.

She shook her head and looked up at him, taking in his sturdy form where he stood leaning against her glowing aquarium, all hard muscle and tattoos. There was something intent in his eyes that she didn't recognize. At least not on him. It looked like… concern, or something. He  _cared_  about her, she realized. Fortunately she was just a little too drunk to contemplate the implications of that look.

He quirked an eyebrow at her as she sat staring at him.

"What?" she asked indignantly.

"Do you need help... finishing whatever you were doing?" he asked, gesturing at her current state of undress.

She looked down and realized in a slight daze that she was still sitting half dressed on her desk chair in her black sports bra and black cotton panties, with her fatigues bunched around her shins and her boots half unlaced.

"Uh... maybe? I can't really do the laces right now. Er...  _Un_ do the laces, I guess is what I mean." She laughed softly.

He smiled and shook his head as he stepped towards her, bending down to one knee and gripping her right boot in his strong hands.

She sighed and sat back as he worked at the knots in her laces.

"I sure hope to fuck it means something in the end," she said abstractly.

He sat working on her boots for a second and said quietly, "Me too."

One boot came off, and then the other, and finally her pants were on the floor.

"Do you need help with the next part?" he asked, giving her an amused look.

"I think I can manage to bathe myself," she said with a laugh and sauntered into her bathroom, leaving the door open and turning on the water of her shower.

"I'll be right here if you need me, Commander," he said with mock formality, leaning back against her desk and crossing his arms.

James watched as she pulled the pins out of her hair and the dark waves cascaded down her back, then she stripped off her underwear and bra and stepped beneath the steaming water of the shower. He'd had a hard-on since he'd seen her sitting half-dressed and struggling with her boots, but as he watched the water stream over her naked body it actually threatened to break out of his pants and make an escape.

 _Fuck, she's beautiful_ , he thought as he watched the dark tendrils of her hair become soaked with the hot water and fan out across the pale bare skin of her back. He hated Cerberus, but he had to admit they'd put one good thing into the world, and her name was Shepard.  _Back into the world_ , he amended.

She just stood under the water for the longest time, letting it beat down on her head and shoulders, her hands braced on the stainless steel walls of the small room. He heard her sigh softly and she turned her head to look at him over one wet shoulder, her blue eyes burning brightly and her full lips wet from the water streaming over her.

"James," she said in a husky voice, turning around and leaning against the wall underneath the stream of water. "I need you..."

 _Fuck me, she's beautiful,_  he thought again. He could barely contain himself, but simply smiled and stripped slowly while she watched through the fog of steam that drifted through the open doorway between them. He pulled his tight white t-shirt off over his head and tossed it aside. He unbuckled his heavy belt and pulled it swiftly out of his belt loops, tossing it atop his discarded shirt. He bent down to untie his boots, pulling each off abruptly followed by his socks, then shimmied out of his fatigues, kicking them haphazardly to the side. He saw her raise an eyebrow at his snug boxers and slowly pushed the undergarment over his muscular hips, letting his erection spring free at the last second.

He didn't miss it when she smiled in appreciation and her tongue darted out to lick her lips as his shorts came off. He felt a soft throb in his groin at her reaction, which grew exponentially when she slowly turned around again and looked back over her shoulder at him.

"Damn, Lola," he growled under his breath and closed his eyes for a beat to gain control of himself.

He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him, trapping himself in the small, steam-filled enclosure with her. He stood beneath the water behind her for a second, tilting his head under the hot stream and letting it wet his short-cropped hair and run down over his hard muscles. When he opened his eyes he saw her hand reaching towards him over one shoulder with a small bottle gripped in it, its opening aimed down. He held out his hand and she squirted a measure of clear gel into his palm. The scent of almonds drifted to his nostrils and he felt his erection twitch in response. It smelled deliciously of her and he breathed the aroma in deeply.

He lathered the soap between his palms and slid soapy hands down her spine, then over her hips and up the front of her torso from belly to shoulders, lingering over her breasts for a second, then down her back again and across her ass cheeks. He heard her moan softly when his hands slid over her ass and his fingertips slid between her cheeks briefly, grazing against slick, sensitive skin.

He slipped his hands back around her hips, pulling her against him and drifting his lips along the side of her wet neck. "You are so beautiful," he said to her in a rough voice. His hands slid back up her soapy torso and drifted over her full breasts.

She moaned as she felt his hands teasing the hard tips of her breasts, the slick feeling of the soap magnifying the sensation of his touch.

"That feels nice," she said, her voice trailing off strangely. Her tone caused him to hesitate briefly, his hands pausing and sliding back down to her hips.

"Um... do I need to do something different?" he asked.

"I need you to fuck me, Lieutenant, not toy with me," she said almost angrily. Her suddenly commanding tone surprised him and pissed him off just a little bit. He pulled back from her, then grabbed her shoulder and spun her around abruptly to face him.

He saw the look of burning desire in her eyes then and knew this was what she'd needed all along. For her, he would do anything.

"You want to get fucked, is that it,  _Commander_?" he said in a biting tone, determined to give her what she wanted. If she wanted it rough, he would give it to her rough.

She met his gaze and nodded with parted lips. He gripped the back of her neck, pulling her wet face to his and kissed her savagely. He shoved her against the wet stainless steel wall of her shower hard enough to make her gasp and pressed himself against her, his erection digging into the soft flesh of her belly. She looked surprised at first but then a wicked little smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

He looked at her and shook his head slightly with a small, amused smile before continuing with the charade. Who was he to argue if this is how she wanted it? He pressed his lips against hers again almost painfully then nipped at her lower lip with his teeth. He bent his head and grazed his teeth along the side of her neck, sinking them in deeper when he reached the juncture of her shoulder. She tilted her head back and moaned softly.

He slid both large hands down over her slick, wet hips and squeezed her backside, then slid his hands lower, digging his strong fingers harshly into the backs of her thighs and forcing her legs up and apart, spreading her open and pressing her harder into the wall. He felt her legs wrap around his hips automatically and her arms went around his shoulders, her short fingernails digging into the back of his neck.

He entered her abruptly and violently and she gasped in surprise as his thick, hard length filled her and he began pounding into her.

Once he'd crossed that barrier he knew there was nothing he could do to stop. The feel of her around him was so exquisite. But it wasn't just the feel of being buried deep in her hot, wet center that did him in. The wet skin of her breasts pressed against his chest and the tightness of her strong legs wrapped around his hips made him feel like his head would explode in pleasure. But when she started egging him on with harsh whispers he knew he was done for.

He came hard at her urging and clamped his lips over hers, silencing her goading words as he spasmed inside her. His lips lingered against hers as his orgasm gradually subsided. He lowered his head and rested his forehead against her shoulder, the only sounds their heavy breathing and the steady jet of the shower.

"What the hell was that all about, Lola?" he whispered. She released his hips and he slipped out of her, still bracing himself against the wall.

"Just proof that you're good at following orders, James," she said and gripped him by the back of the neck, pulling his mouth back down to hers and kissing him fervently.

He realized abruptly from her kiss that she wasn't finished yet and pulled back from her with a smile. Fucking her was nice, but this was the part he really looked forward to. He reached for her body wash and squirted a generous amount into his palm, lathering up his hands. He knelt before her and started working the soap up her legs slowly. He massaged the muscles of her calves gently and slid his soapy hands up her thighs, lathering the front and then the back of each one in turn, the steady stream of water washing the resulting suds away from her soft skin. His hands slid to her inner thighs teasingly but drifted back down again before slipping around to her backside, then back over her hips. His thumbs delicately drifted over the vee of black curls between her thighs and he heard her breath hitch.

He glanced up at her and his own breath caught in his throat at the raw desire he saw in her eyes. He slid his thumbs softly along the junctures of her inner thighs, moving them slowly closer to her center. He watched her face as his thumbs caressed her outer folds and then spread them apart, allowing the hot water to stream over the delicate flesh of her sex. Her eyelids drifted closed and her lips parted with a husky moan when he grazed the small nub at her core with the tip of his thumb.

His eyes returned to his task and he leaned in, darting his tongue out and swirling it around the small bundle of nerves before him before capturing it gently between his lips. She moaned louder and tilted her hips toward his mouth. One of her hands drifted to her breast and clutched it while the other fell to his head, gently pulling him closer to her.

He gripped one of her legs behind the knee and urged her foot up to his shoulder, then went to work with his tongue. He began with slow, languid strokes, plunging his tongue deep inside her. He could taste the remnants of his own orgasm mixed with her tangy flavor and the thought made him instantly hard again. The motions of his tongue became more insistent, flicking and swirling at the top of her sex. Her hips undulated gently in rhythm with his mouth and he heard her breathy moans increase in frequency and volume.

She gripped his head tighter to her and his tongue sped up in response, sending her over the edge with a harsh yell of his name. He didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing that particular sound coming from her.

Wasting no time, he lowered her leg from his shoulder and stood up. She gasped in dazed confusion as he spun her around and bent her over, forcing her to place a hand on the wall to brace herself. He spread her thighs wide and entered her from behind with a swift thrust, gripping her hips tightly in his hands and hammering into her with desperate need. After several thrusts he felt her fingers graze the delicate skin of his balls and realized that she was working herself to orgasm again. He lost it completely and with a series of violent thrusts and a loud groan his orgasm took him. At the same time, he felt her muscles clench tightly around him as she came again with a loud cry of ecstasy.

She stood quivering and gasping for breath under the streaming water, both hands braced against the wall but unable to move for fear she'd collapse into a puddle. James' strong grip on her hips was apparently the only thing holding her up. She felt his hips make a subtle little twist and moaned at the pleasant friction it caused between them. She sighed softly as she felt him pull out of her slowly and step back. She found the strength to stand and reached for a washcloth, applied a small amount of soap, and washed gently between her thighs, enjoying the throbbing tenderness he'd left her with.

She tilted her head up to look at him and saw him through the steam leaning against the wall with his head tilted back, watching her from beneath lowered lashes. She rinsed the washcloth and offered it to him. He stepped back under the water and took it from her, washing himself briskly as she stood back and quickly lathered up her hair. He followed suit afterwards, scrubbing his own head in a businesslike fashion.

"All set?" she asked softly after they had both rinsed the remaining suds off. She turned the water off after his nod, then grabbed two dry towels from the shelf across the room and tossed him one. He dried off swiftly and wrapped the length of soft, white terrycloth around his hips before exiting the room. She dried off and slipped into a short silk robe, twisting her wet hair up into the towel before following behind him.

She saw him take the steps down towards her bed and began to call out to him, "Watch out…"

"Shit!" he yelled out, stopping abruptly. She winced as he bent down and lifted one foot, gingerly pulling out a small shard of glass that had embedded itself in his sole.

"... for the glass," she finished. "Sorry about that... I didn't have a chance to clean it up before you got here."

He limped over to a nearby chair and sat, propping his foot on the opposite knee and inspecting the damage. She punched a button on the wall, summoning the small cleaning mech from a cubbyhole beneath the steps, then quickly grabbed a first aid kit from her desk and went to him, navigating carefully around the broken glass and sitting on the coffee table across from him. The little mech whirred quietly as it made its circuit of the room, sucking up the shards efficiently as it went.

"Let's see the damage," she said and gestured a hand to him.

"It's just another scar to add to my collection," he said with a laugh and sat back in his chair as she looked with concern at the small, bleeding cut on his foot. She cleaned it and applied a small bandage.

"I think you'll live, soldier," she said with a smirk and glanced up at him. He was looking at her with an amused smile and she raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

"You're cute when you're worried, Lola," he said.

She rolled her eyes at him and stood up, pulling the towel from her head and walking back up to the bathroom. He turned to watch her as she retrieved a comb and pulled it through her wet hair.

"Whiskey?" he asked and reached for the bottle and a glass.

She shook her head. "Nah, I think I'm done for tonight. I'd just end up breaking more things. I should have called you to begin with, James. You were a  _much_  better pick-me-up."

"I'm a man of many talents," he said with a grin as he poured himself a drink and recorked the bottle.

"That you are," she agreed, smiling back and bending to retrieve their discarded garments, giving him a nice peak at her ass beneath her skimpy robe. He took a sip of the strong liquor and sat back, enjoying watching her just move around.

Finally he decided to take a chance and asked, "So, do you feel like sharing why you felt like breaking things? I mean, if you hated the whiskey you could have just told me. I wouldn't have been offended."

She tensed visibly and looked at him, then just shrugged and sighed, defeated.

"Mordin was a friend," she said finally.

James nodded, "Yeah, I heard he was part of your team when you took out the Collector base. He seemed pretty badass. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to get to know him."

She let out a rueful little laugh, "He was a badass to the very end. I suppose I should be grateful to have considered him a friend."

She carried James' clothes over and set them on the chair by the bed, then sat down on the sofa and stared up at the ceiling for a moment. She sighed in frustration.

"He wasn't even the first... and I know he won't be the last. But he still felt like part of my team, and..." she gave James a helpless look that surprised him coming from her. She'd always seemed so unshakeable when they were out on missions; so determined and confident in her abilities and her decisions. He'd never had any qualms about following her into battle, and it wasn't just because of how nicely she filled out her armor.

"And... you still felt responsible for him as though he were following your orders," James finished for her.

She nodded and reached for the whiskey bottle, uncorking it and looking for another glass. When she realized James was holding the only one that wasn't broken she chuckled softly and lifted the bottle in a toast.

"To Mordin and Thane. To old teammates, dead and living."

James held his glass up in response and they both drank.

After he swallowed he looked at her and said, "None of us are going into this blind, Lola. Mordin knew the risks, and he knew what was at stake. You  _know_ I'll do whatever it takes to get this done, too. But you already have us all trumped in the death department."

"It's not a fucking contest, James," she snapped. "And Cerberus won't swoop in and resurrect the rest of you. Not that you'd want them to. Shit, if I'd been given a choice, I might have opted to stay dead."

He gave her a wounded look and said, "Don't talk like that. You being here is probably the only thing that's giving us a fighting chance in this war."

"Being around me is hazardous to your health," she said sulkily and stared at the bandage on the bottom of the foot he had propped on the coffee table.

"No offense, Lola, but I think I'll take my chances."

She looked at him with a resigned shake of her head and took another swig from the bottle in her hand. They sat in silence for several moments.

Finally she asked quietly, "Are you staying tonight?"

He looked at her with an expression of mock hurt, "You wouldn't kick an injured man out in the cold, would you?"

She laughed, "No, but I can't promise there won't be some serious risks to spending the night."

She stood up and set the bottle down, then slinked over to him. He met her eyes and was surprised to see the heat lurking behind them.  _Again?_  he thought.

"Damn, Lola, I don't know if I have it in me after earlier," he said with a slow shake of his head. But when she settled down on her knees before him and slid her hands up his thighs under his towel, his body told him otherwise. One of said risks clearly included exhaustion, but honestly he wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. Say My Name

"Say my name," she urged huskily in his ear as she rode him. He was half delirious with ecstasy at that point and barely registered her words.

"Sh-Shepard," he managed to breathe out a second later between grunts of exertion.

"No, my other name," she said breathlessly and leaned over to clutch his hair between her fingers, tilting his head back harshly. Her tongue darted out and licked softly at the base of his throat. Damp tendrils of her dark, wavy hair fell over her shoulder and tickled his chest.

He said her given name, which he hardly ever used; it felt strange on his tongue.

"Try again. Say my name, James," she said through clenched teeth and bit him hard on the chest, then trailed her wet tongue down and sucked one of his erect nipples into her mouth, biting gently and making him gasp in surprised pleasure.

She was astride him and her hips undulated in a slow rhythm, which he rose up to meet with deep, even thrusts. His large hands clutched her hips as she moved atop him.

"Fuck, Lola, I don't..." he began in exasperation. She smiled at him and growled, "Oh, yes, that's it.  _Say it_." He felt her begin riding him a little harder.

He smiled up at her. " _Lola_ ," he said in a husky voice and she moaned in response.

So this was what she wanted tonight, he thought. She always managed to amaze him somehow. But maybe he shouldn't have been surprised after the amount of dirty talk he'd heard coming from her sweet mouth that made him blush even as he was buried deep inside her.

"You like that,  _Lola_?" he said and heard her moan in response as she straightened up and arched her back. He watched, mesmerized, as she gripped both her breasts and tweaked her nipples hard between thumb and forefinger. He slipped one hand between her thighs and began working her with swift strokes. Her writhing hips sped up and he struggled to maintain the pace.

" _Yes. James. don't stop,_ " she gasped out.

Holy fuck, watching her this way blew his mind, and she'd managed to do that a few times a week lately. He let out a low groan and shifted the soles of his feet on her bed to get more leverage.

He licked his lips and took a deep breath, trying to figure out what to say next, not wanting to disappoint her. He recalled a few of the choicest phrases she'd used with him lately, and was surprised when they seemed to flow naturally from his lips.

" _I love the way you ride me, Lola_ ," he began throatily, his words drawn out in slow syllables. " _Oh yeah. Fuck me, Lola. Fuck me hard. I want to feel you come, Lola. Fuck, you feel good._ "

Just saying the words seemed to send her into a frenzy and the feedback was far more intense than he could have imagined. Her hips bucked violently and she screamed his name as she came, her slick muscles clenching hard around him. He groaned and grabbed her hips abruptly with both hands, digging his fingers in deep enough to leave bruises. With a loud, guttural cry he slammed up into her with several quick strokes and arched his back as his his own release took hold, causing his vision to flash white for a split second as it hit him.

She collapsed onto his chest with a gasp and he could feel her muscles continue to contract around him as his hands drifted gently up her naked back. Each little spasm he felt around his sex made him twitch again.

They lay out of breath among the crumpled, sweat-soaked sheets. He glanced at her clock and saw it had been nearly two hours since they'd tumbled through her door, kissing hungrily and tossing clothes off as they went. He was sure he remembered having his way with her against the fish tank before they'd even made it to her bed. He turned his head to look at the aquarium and saw a pair of large handprints clearly visible at about the width of his own shoulders. A couple feet lower he saw what looked like the imprint of her ass on the clear glass.

She rolled off him and lay languidly beside him on her back with one leg still draped over his.

"You deserve a medal, James," she said when she caught her breath. She let out a long, satisfied sigh.

He snorted in amusement. "Just doing my duty, Commander," he said smugly as they stared up at the vast, starry night outside the skylight above her bed.

She cut her eyes to him, "I wish you wouldn't call me that when we're together. You know what I like."

He rolled over towards her and nuzzled at her ear.

"You're the one who keeps insisting on giving orders when we're together,  _Lola,_ " he whispered huskily.

"It's an old habit. Don't take it personally. Besides, you're just so  _very_  good at following them." She gave him a sultry smile.

He laughed softly as his attention began to fade and his eyes slowly drifted closed. He felt her leave the bed and heard the soft pad of her footsteps moving across the room. There was the sound of a toilet flushing and then running water, and a moment later he felt the mattress dip beside him again. Her warm, naked body slid into bed next to his, pulling the blankets up over them both. His strong arm snaked around her waist, pulling her snugly against him before he drifted off, the sweet smell of her sweat lingering in his nose.

* * *

Shepard awoke later, drawn out of sleep by the change in activity of the _Normandy_ 's drive core. It was more of a subtle shift in energy that she felt than an actual sound, but it drew her to consciousness nonetheless, as it had ever since Cerberus had resurrected her. She couldn't help but wonder if Cerberus had altered her biotics somehow to attune her to the ship's mass effect fields and that was why she could sense these changes. Ever since, she'd had this strange affinity to the ship and her slight shifts in mood that the rest of the crew rarely noticed, and the retrofits hadn't affected it as far as she could tell.

This particular change told her that they were dropping out of FTL, which meant they'd reached Arrae where a group of former Cerberus scientists were holed up. She knew she needed to stay ahead of the Illusive Man and had ordered the change in course the second Traynor had given her the intel.

She extracted herself delicately from James, who made a soft sound of protest. She saw his brow crease in his sleep and bent down to lay gentle lips on his forehead, which smoothed again at the contact, his breathing becoming deep and even. She hunted through the darkness for her uniform and cursed under her breath at the mini scavenger hunt she had to complete to find everything. Where the hell was her underwear?

She had a brief flash of the previous night and remembered the events that had led up to their haphazard disrobing when they'd reached her quarters.

Whose idea had it been anyway? James... right. Poker night had been a fantastic idea. It had been a boisterous and friendly poker game to start with. But when the liquor started flowing it had become something altogether different, but in a good way, she thought. Tensions were high among the crew and folks really needed an excuse to blow off steam.

She was sure it was Allers who'd insisted on the first "panty ante" and everyone was sufficiently inebriated by then to go along with it, retreating to the lavatory on their turn and returning with the required bet. The game hadn't lasted much longer after that.

The few details she remembered now included Allers' very pretty but obviously fake tits, with nipples tattooed in the shapes of flowers (seriously?), which Traynor couldn't stop looking at and had even made a polite request to touch. Actually, nobody could quit looking at Allers' tits which became a running joke after awhile.

She learned that nearly all of her human crew had tattoos of some form or another, though James' were by far the most extensive and impressive. She'd felt like the odd man out when more and more skin started showing around the table and people started showing their pieces and telling the little stories behind them. Everyone had been surprised when they learned she didn't have any.

When she gave them her usual excuse, Joker said, "But that was almost two years ago, Shepard. You've had time to get something since then."

"You're forgetting I was under house arrest for six months, Joker. I didn't exactly get much time for outings on Earth... and before that... well, I had more complicated things to think about."

"Commander, you should totally get a tattoo next time we're on the Citadel!" Traynor exclaimed. She was a very happy, enthusiastic drunk.

"I don't know... isn't the only tattoo artist Batarian? I'd worry about ending up with a tattoo of a Volus cock instead of whatever I asked for," Shepard said with a snort.

"Well... at least it'd be  _small_ ," Joker said and everyone burst out into raucous laughter.

As the laughter died down James leaned in from her right and whispered, "I know another guy who could take care of you, if you wanted, Lola." Her thighs quivered at the sound of his voice and his breath near her ear. She almost whispered back that she knew a guy who  _did_  take care of her, and quite expertly, but held her tongue.

"Maybe... I'll think about it. I wouldn't even know what to get, anyway."

"You could get a tattoo of the _Normandy_ , like Kaidan's," Traynor said, pointing at the near photo-realistic image of the ship that graced Kaidan's left shoulder.

"What's that scarring underneath it, though? Was there something else there?" Traynor asked, tracing fingertips across his skin. She was also a very handsy drunk.

Kaidan cut a quick glance to Shepard and looked back at the table, saying quietly, "It's the old _Normandy_ , actually. The SR-1. There used to be text underneath it... and dates." He paused and cleared his throat, speaking his next words slowly. "It was a memorial, but it felt creepy to keep when Shepard came back from the dead."

The table grew quiet and Kaidan gazed at Shepard for a brief moment before looking away again. Steve, who sat to Kaidan's right, gave the other man a long, understanding look. The significance of his own tattoo wasn't that different.

Oblivious to the tenor of the conversation, Traynor said, "I want to know the story behind your pretty flowers, Diana. Do tell!"

Diana barked out a soft laugh as she glanced down at her chest while deftly shuffling the deck. "I'm not sure if it's appropriate to share, Sam."

Shepard laughed at her and gestured at the other woman's chest, saying, "You can share  _them_ , but not the story? I'm not sure I see the distinction."

"It's just very personal," Allers explained with a shrug. She began dealing the cards around the table. When she was finished, she said, "Tell you what, when you lose  _your_  shirt, Shepard? Then I'll share."

"Ooh, the pressure's on, Lola," James said to her suggestively. Damn, every time he said that she felt like he'd just stoked her furnace. She pretended to ignore him and picked up her hand to inspect it.

But the pressure didn't get to her. Shepard was winning most hands so had only been reduced to her pants and sports bra by the end. James, to her surprise, had left in nothing but his skivvies, which he'd managed to win back just before losing his pants. By that time modesty had gone out the window and nobody bothered to leave the room to disrobe if they lost. She'd had a difficult time not looking when James had pushed back his chair and stood up beside her, stark naked, to put his boxers back on, saying something about not wanting to put people at a disadvantage by distracting them with his manly assets.

Joker finally ended up wearing only his hat. He'd sported a wide grin at the catcalls and comments of "EDI's a lucky girl!" from a few people when he sat back down after removing his pants.

She caught Steve eyeing Kaidan with a subtle appreciative glance once Kaidan had lost his pants, and for a second was sure the Major had returned the look.

She was pretty sure Traynor had ended up completely nude, and Allers had just barely managed to win back her own panties, but nothing else.

No wonder she couldn't find her fucking underwear.

She exited her room and stood in the corridor outside her quarters to dress, foregoing panties for the time being. She would have to track those down later. She pulled her hair back into a quick ponytail and hit the call button for the elevator to take her to the CIC.

"How is she?" she asked Joker quietly when she reached the bridge a few moments later.

"Just dropping out of FTL now, Commander. ETA to Arrae is oh-nine-hundred. You have at least five more hours to sleep, you know... or... whatever." He glanced up at her with a sideways smile.

She smirked at him, "I have no idea what you're talking about, Joker."

"Uh huh,  _sure._ " He paused for a breath, then said cautiously, "So poker night was out of hand."

"It was a fun way for the crew to blow off some steam. I'm glad you decided to join us, Joker. You should have brought EDI, too."

The AI's voice resonated from the seat beside her. "I insisted that Jeff go without me. I would have had an unfair advantage, and would not have been able to participate in the latter part of the game, from Jeff's description of the rules."

Shepard laughed, "There really aren't any concrete rules to strip poker. We were making them up as we went. I think the only real rule is to end up naked."

"So... by that logic, you were actually  _losing._ Is that what you're saying, Commander?" Joker said.

"I... ah, well, you've got me there, Joker."

She recalled the reprimand James had given her when they reached her room, " _Lola, Lola, Lola... Don't you know the whole point of strip poker is to lose?_ " just before he pushed her against the wall and started ripping her clothes off. He'd been on fire and she felt subtle tingling between her thighs at the memory. Five more hours, Joker had said. She turned to leave the bridge.

"Oh, Commander?" Joker called after her. When she turned back to respond, she caught a glimpse of a dark object flying towards her and reflexively reached her hand up to catch it. After a second she realized what it was. She looked at Joker with an expression of mild shock.

"My underwear? How...?"

He gave her an evil grin. "Hey, I won them fair and square, although Vega did give me a run for my money... either he has a fetish for ladies underwear, or there's something you're not telling me."

"There's a  _lot_  I don't tell you, Joker."

"All I know is you were the only one  _not_  looking at him in all his glory after he lost his pants. Heck, I don't even swing that way and I got a semi when he stood up. That is one well-built man.  _All over._  And he hasn't been in his bunk for the last few nights, so unless he's taken to sleeping in the shuttle, he's found another bed somewhere."

She cleared her throat and turned to leave again. "It's none of your business, Moreau," she said tersely.

"I knew it!" she heard him say in an elated whisper from behind her as she turned to leave the bridge.

She crossed the nearly empty CIC and headed for the elevator, hitting the button for the crew deck when she stepped on. She wanted to make sure they hadn't done any serious damage to the lounge before the rest of the crew began waking up.

A moment later she exited and started making her way to the lounge. She could hear a shower running in the men's bathroom. As she went to open the door to the lounge she heard the sound of a throat clear behind her.

"I wouldn't go in there just now, Commander," she heard Steve's voice say softly. She turned to look and saw the pilot standing in the hallway wearing only a towel secured around his waist.

"Oh?" she asked, curious.

"Well... not unless you were hoping for a threesome with those two. I highly doubt they'd turn you down if that's the case."

"Oh," she said and drew back from the door. "Um... which two exactly?" she asked, but her question was answered shortly when she heard Kaidan's familiar voice calling from the men's bathroom.

"Get in here, Steve, the water's nice and  _hot_."

Her eyebrows shot up as she looked at the man standing before her. He cleared his throat into his fist and stared at his feet for a second.

"You'd better not keep the Major waiting, Lieutenant," she said in a stern whisper, nodding her head towards the closed door to the bathroom.

"Yes Ma'am," he said, looking at her with a knowing smile.

She headed back to the elevator shaking her head and laughing softly.  _I guess people needed to blow off more steam than I thought._

She started unfastening her uniform as she stepped off into the hallway outside her door. When she entered, she leaned against her desk to untie her boots, and the bathroom door whooshed open, revealing James in all his tattooed glory. He stepped past her half asleep and she paused to watch him stumble back to the bed and flop down on it bonelessly. She watched as his arm reached out to her side of the bed and felt nothing but empty mattress. His head turned to look for her and he sat up, looking around the dark room in bewilderment.

She stripped quickly and walked towards the bed.

"Mmm, I missed you, Lola," he said in a voice thick with sleep, smiling as he watched her climb back into bed and lay down next to him on top of the crumpled sheets.

"You didn't even notice I was gone until just now," she said.

He looked mildly hurt. "I always notice," he said and lay back down, turning on his side and reaching out a large hand to cup her breast, idly teasing its tip with his thumb.

"Where'd you go?" he asked after a second.

"Hmm? Oh... just wanted to check on our ETA to Arrae. Mmm that feels nice."

"I aim to please," he said, and shifted towards her, replacing his thumb with his warm tongue. She moaned softly.

After a second he pulled back from her and asked, "Did Joker give you back your panties?"

She laughed in surprise, "Yes, he did. But I think he's on to us. Apparently you weren't very subtle about trying to  _win_  them earlier."

He snorted softly, "Screw subtlety. If he hadn't given them back we would have had  _words_."

"I'm sure he just wanted to mess with me, don't hurt him."

"I did say  _words_... not fists. I'd feel really bad if I broke something he cared about."

She laughed, "I'm sure  _that_  is probably one of his more durable parts, considering the amount of attention he gives it... or used to anyway."

"How do you know this, exactly?"

"Medical records... and he has quite an impressive collection of vids on his personal net."

He gave her a skeptical look.

"I'm required to know these things as his commanding officer," she explained.

"Ah, right. So, do you ever wonder how he and EDI... " James started.

"No, and it's really none of my business, but I'm sure Cerberus built her with all the appropriate… features. So I'm not worried about Joker."

He bent his head again to resume his earlier activity, but she stopped him.

"James, did you know about Cortez and Alenko?" she tried to make her question sound casually curious.

He pulled back from her and looked into her eyes trying to judge where the question was coming from. Seeing only a look of intent curiosity, he shrugged and said, "I had an idea about them... Esteban was in a rough place when we left Earth. He'd just lost Robert... and then was forced to leave entirely. I did the best I could to… I dunno... just be his friend if he needed to talk, but he plays things pretty close to his chest, youknow. The Major started coming down to the shuttle bay more often lately. It seemed like they sortof bonded over something. I didn't know what at first, but I think I have an idea after last night. That's a sweet tattoo the Major has, by the way. I'd love to meet the artist. Work like that is hard to come by."

His eyes fell to her face and he saw an expectant look, so he took a breath and said in a soft voice, "The Major loved you... and you died." He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back on one elbow, glancing at a random spot on the mattress, then back up to her eyes.

"He probably spent the entire two years you were dead trying to get over you, before you showed up again out of the blue. Playing for the wrong team, no less."

He sighed and blurted out the burning question that had been bothering him for the past few weeks since their first night together.

"Why me, Lola? Why not him?" He turned his head to look at her apprehensively and saw a look of deep concern on her face.

She stared up at the stars above her for several seconds before answering.

"Death changes you James. And not just you, but the entire world you leave behind. Coming back from the dead was probably the hardest thing I've ever done, and I'm still dealing with the backlash from it. Kaidan was caught in the middle. He was blindsided when he found out I was alive, after two years of coming to terms with me being gone. It's been tough to get back to a place where we can even trust each other, much less have anything more. We're different people now... I think we're finally back to a place where we  _can_  trust each other, but whatever we had before... I think we both know it isn't possible to find that again and we'd just end up disappointed if we tried. It's better for him... for him and Steve both, really... that I've let it go."

He sighed and nodded, feeling slightly embarrassed for having put her on the spot in the first place. He reached his hand out again and traced his fingertips along her taut stomach and up her sternum, grazing is palm over the erect tip of her breast before gripping it gently in his large hand. She sighed at the contact.

"As to your other question: why you?" She smiled mischievously as she turned onto her side and slid close to him, snaking one long leg around the back of his and sliding her hand between them, trailing a soft caress up his inner thigh.

She said in a husky voice, "It's because you called me  _Lola_."

He gave her a throaty growl and pushed her back onto the mattress. He leaned on his elbow beside her and traced soft patterns over the tips of her breasts with his fingertips and his tongue. He trailed his hand down between her thighs and moaned softly when he discovered how wet she was.

Unable to contain himself any longer, he rose up and moved to kneel between her thighs. She bent her knees in anticipation and he grabbed her behind her thighs, pulling her hips up to meet his and spreading her just a little wider. He slid his thick length into her slowly, making every effort to take his time. Their talk had given him the need to really savor her.

His hips rocked against her slowly as he slid deep into her and back out again until just his tip was between her soft folds.

"Say my name," he heard himself say gruffly as he pistoned into her and back out, teasing at her with his tip.

"James, oh  _fuck_  that feels good. Don't stop!" she gasped. Her chest heaved and she arched her back, her pink-tipped breasts rising up alluringly as he watched her writhe in pleasure.

"That's it, Lola. Say my name, tell me what you want," he said in a low voice as he thrust into her waiting depths again and back out, poised at her entrance, waiting. It only took a split second before she groaned with need.

"James. I want you to fuck me. Fuck me hard!" She moaned almost desperately and he felt her hips twitch and her strong legs struggle against his grip to get closer to him. It was all he could do to maintain the tortuous contact with her, but he was unrelenting, holding her at just the distance he needed her to be.

He watched her flesh quiver with desire for a few more seconds before goading her one more time.

"Tell me what you want, Lola," he demanded, his voice thick with his own lust. He slid the tip of his sex against her own slick center and she moaned at the sensation.

"James," she gasped and her hips writhed again in his strong grasp. "James. I want you, James. I want every last fucking  _inch_  of you inside me. I want you to fuck me hard until you come, and I want to feel you come inside me."

He groaned with need and let his desire take over. He slammed back into her hard, making her cry out with elation, and began thrusting with abandon. He released his grip on her, letting her wrap her legs around him finally and giving her the freedom to move her own hips in response to his. He leaned over her and his mouth captured hers hungrily, their tongues dancing as they moved together, their coupling violent and needful.

He felt her rhythm change subtly and her gasps of pleasure became louder and louder. Her nails suddenly dug into his back and he sped up, feeling his climax building at the base of his shaft as he pounded into her.

Their final wave of ecstasy crashed over them both suddenly and they cried out each other's names, their sweaty bodies writhing in pleasure and tangled in the sheets of her bed. He rolled over, pulling her with him in an attempt to avoid crushing her and to delay their separation. She lay atop him breathing heavily and enjoying the feel of his pulsing length still inside her.

After a few moments of blissful tingling exhaustion she sighed softly and slid off him, laying next to him limp and sweaty.

"Fuck, Lola," he said between gasps for breath. "I think we both deserve a medal for that."

"It's all you, James," she said with a ridiculous grin. "It's all you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a companion story that is a stand-alone entitled "Blackwork Tendrils: Pulling Up Anchor". If you're interested in more details of what transpired between Steve and Kaidan, you will want to read that story.


	4. Green-Eyed Monster

James entered the mess to a combination of aromas that immediately set his stomach grumbling loudly. For the past few days, ever since the Arrae mission, it seemed like they were eating like kings, but it had nothing to do with the quality of their provisions. For the first time since they'd left Earth, they actually had someone on board the _Normandy_ who could  _cook_.

He'd met the pretty scientist who was the current favorite - although unfortunately only temporary - crew member, Brynn Cole. They'd chatted a few times in the intervening days since she and her colleagues had boarded the _Normandy_ , and he'd learned that she'd received no less than six marriage proposals from the _Normandy_ 's crew - human and alien alike - over her cooking, much to the chagrin of the man who was the obvious recipient of her affections: one Jacob Taylor.

James had recently learned of the history between his own Commander Shepard and the former Alliance soldier/former Cerberus operative, but he'd only learned it through idle chatter and rumors so had taken it with a grain of salt. The man was clearly devoted to Brynn and there didn't seem to be any overtly strong feelings whatsoever between him and Shepard. On the contrary, they had greeted each other like old friends and Shepard had hugged Brynn like she was a long-lost sister when the woman had finally stepped foot on the _Normandy_.

When he grabbed his tray, he wasn't sure what he was being served. All he knew was that it smelled fantastic, but as he moved away from the kitchen area to a table a more distracting aroma hit his nose and made him stop and look around the mess for a moment. His nostrils flared and he felt his groin twitch in response to the delicious, warm almondy scent of Shepard fresh out of a shower. He couldn't see her anywhere and felt a stab of disappointment at the realization that she'd probably taken her dinner back to her quarters so she could work.

The scent of her seemed to cling to his nostrils as he made his way in a daze to a nearby table to sit down. He immediately started shoveling his food into his mouth, forgetting completely how much he'd planned to savor his dinner when he'd first smelled it.

"Hungry, James?" he heard Kaidan's familiar voice say with a soft laugh from across the table.

He'd been so distracted he hadn't even realized who he'd sat down with. He took a swallow of his beverage and paused in his eating to greet the others. Aside from Kaidan, he noticed Steve sitting next to him and Jacob directly across from him and gave them a terse greeting before returning his attention to his food.

"As I was saying," Jacob said, continuing a previous conversation that James had apparently interrupted, "She hasn't changed. Christ, she still uses the same  _soap_."

"So you were close, when you were on the Collector mission," Kaidan asked cautiously and James' ears suddenly perked up.

Jacob cleared his throat and glanced across the room to Brynn. He spoke quietly, "We were friends. But when you're going into something that there's a good chance you might not come out of alive, sometimes you need a little more than that. We were never a 'thing', Shepard and I. I won't deny that I enjoyed the night we spent together before we stormed the Collector base. And I won't deny that I was probably just a little bit in love with her after she got us all out of there alive. Shit, half the crew probably felt the same way I did, but I knew better. She's just  _way_  too much woman for me - a league of her own. Brynn is just the right amount." He smiled warmly in the direction of the kitchen and they all turned to look and saw the object of his affection smiling back with equal warmth.

James stopped chewing abruptly and stared at his plate for a moment before swallowing. He took a long swig from his drink and studied Jacob while he swallowed. All he saw looking back at him was another soldier who'd been through hell and survived to tell the tale. But the question ate at him: How could you not love the woman that could bring you back from something like that, even just a little bit?

"You okay, man?" Steve asked him with a concerned look. "You've been awful quiet."

James ignored Steve and looked intently at Jacob, asking in a biting tone, "So, if you only slept together the one time, how is it you recognize her  _soap_ so easily?"

Jacob gave him an incredulous look and pushed back his chair, recognizing the larger man's hostility and going immediately on the defensive. He held up his hands, palms out. "Dude, it's just something you notice sometimes, especially when you live on a fucking ship with someone. Not to mention she was just  _here_  not ten minutes before you showed up."

James' nostrils flared and he felt his fists clench as he stood from his chair, glaring at the other man. He vaguely noticed Kaidan and Steve both standing up and Steve leaned towards him, speaking in a quiet, even voice in his ear.

"Vega, chill the fuck out, or I'll have to hurt you."

The absurdity of Steve's comment caused him to pause and he looked at his friend dubiously. "You're a funny man, Cortez," he muttered, but settled back in his chair, his muscles still tensed and ready to fight. He gave Jacob a steady, hostile stare.

Jacob started laughing softly and pulled his chair back in close to the table. "Oh fuck, man, you are  _done_  for. She is already so far under your skin, I almost pity you."

"Almost?" James asked, sulkily.

"Yeah,  _almost_. I did spend the night with her once." He gave James a knowing smile before continuing. "I just hope you survive this war. With Shepard your odds are about 50/50, and that's good for the types of missions she drags you around on. If you do survive, I wish you both the best."

* * *

James left the mess still angry, but it was a desperate anger and he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He was angry at himself for losing his head, and he was angry at the possibility that Jacob was right about how far gone he was over Shepard already. Heading to the shuttle bay and his punching bag might help relieve some of the tension, but he felt the need for something else right now. The memory of her freshly showered scent was still lingering in his mind when he tossed his tray in the dishwasher. And along with the memory of her scent lingered the pleasant visual images it inspired. Not even the smell of fresh industrial dish soap could cleanse that from his brain, and he wasn't sure he even wanted it gone.

* * *

Shepard shoved the remnants of her dinner aside and pulled up the latest set of Crucible status reports she'd received from Admiral Hackett. She was about halfway through the list of manpower and supply needs when she heard the comm at her door beep. She finished reading the last list quickly and closed the report. As she was standing up and walking towards the door she heard the comm beep again and James' voice came through the speaker, "Lola, we need to talk."

She grew still at the unusual tone she heard in his voice and answered slowly. "Come on in, James."

When the door opened, she saw his massive figure standing there, nearly filling up her doorway. He wore a desperate expression that reminded her of when she'd learned Santa wasn't real.

"James?" she asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

He answered her by striding in and gripping her behind the neck, pressing his lips against hers with enough pressure to bruise and invading her surprised mouth with his tongue. When he pulled back slightly to breathe a few seconds later she laughed softly against his lips and said, "James, that's really not the best way to start off a conversation, youknow."

He just seemed to growl at her in response and she felt him nuzzle at the side of her neck and breathe in deeply as though his lungs had been starved for air until this moment. She gripped the waistband of his fatigues with one hand right below his navel and slid her other arm around his neck, pulling him back into another passionate kiss. Something about the hint of desperation in him made her hotter than usual and she briefly wondered what had set him off.

As they kissed, she felt his strong arms move down her torso over her soft knit sweats and his large hands gripped her backside, sliding his hands down to the backs of her thighs and lifting her up as he carried her to the bed. She wrapped her legs around his torso reflexively and could feel the pressure of his erect cock straining at the fabric of his fatigues.

When they reached the bed, he set her down gently and then just stood looking at her with the oddest expression.

"James?" she asked, concerned by his strange behavior.

She shifted to the end of the bed and looked up at him. She could tell by the large bulge at the front of his pants that he was still aroused, but he just stood there with his jaw clenching spasmodically.

"Take off your clothes," she heard him say in a rough, commanding voice that made her core heat up intensely. He stepped back and waited, giving her an impassive stare, his large hands hanging by his sides.

This was extremely out of character for him. Something had certainly incited this strange behavior and she was intensely curious about what it was, but whatever little game he was playing was an incredible turn-on so she decided to go along with it to see where it led.

"Okay," she said quietly, and slowly pulled her black knit shirt over her head, displaying her full, naked breasts to him. She lifted her hips up and pushed her snug pajama pants down her long legs and tossed them to the side. She looked back up at him expectantly.

His eyes raked over her naked body and he licked his lips as he stood there. She saw one of his hands drift to his groin and grip his erection through his fatigues as though trying to relieve some discomfort.

She smiled softly and said, "Your turn. Take off your boots, soldier." He complied, pulling off his boots one at a time, and tossing them to the side.

She crooked her index finger and beckoned to him and he stepped closer to her, stopping to stand just in front of her.

"Take off your shirt," she whispered, looking up at him and raising her hands up to his waistband, toying with the button at the front of his pants. She could feel the heat of him through his fatigues and her mouth began to water at the idea of what lay beyond.

He lifted his shirt over his head as she watched, his strong muscles rippling with the motions and his tags jingling softly when they fell back against his hard chest.

She gazed up at his deliciously sculpted body and slid both hands up slowly, then traced her fingers over his soft skin from the top of his chest, teasing at his nipples briefly, then trailing over his hard abs until she reached his waistband again.

She unfastened the button of his fatigues and slowly lowered his zipper, then slid her hands inside his pants and around to his ass, squeezing his flesh softly through the fabric of his shorts as she pushed his pants down to his ankles. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side. She moved her hands slowly back around his waistband to the front of his shorts and leaned in to trail her tongue softly from his navel along the brief trail of short, dark hairs down until they met his waistband and disappeared beneath his shorts.

She slid one thumb teasingly up the length of his erection as it strained against the soft fabric. He tilted his head back with a low moan as one of his large hands drifted down to grip one full breast gently, his fingertips tweaking at its hard tip.

"Fuck, Lola," she heard him whisper huskily as she trailed her thumb back down the length of his cock through his shorts.

She made a soft hum of anticipation as she gripped the waistband of his shorts and pulled them down slowly, leaving him hard and naked before her. She slid her hands back up the backs of his thighs and gripped his ass, spreading his cheeks gently and slipping one finger in between them teasingly. He groaned at the unexpectedly bold contact and she watched in amusement as his hard length twitched before her eyes.

She glanced back up at him with a sultry smile and darted her tongue out, teasing his cock at its hot tip and tasting the slight salty residue of him that lingered there. She slipped her tongue gently around his circumference and grasped him between her full lips, continuing to swirl her tongue around his smooth flesh.

She drew her hands slowly back over his muscular hips and trailed them down the fronts of his thighs. One hand gripped the base of his shaft and the other slid between his thighs and gently gripped his balls, caressing them with her thumb a she took his length into her warm mouth. She closed her eyes and paused when his tip reached the back of her throat, a low hum vibrating from deep within her.

James moaned in ecstasy and opened his eyes, gazing down at her with an expression of utter astonishment.

"Lola," he gasped, "you've been holding out on me."

He saw the look of mirth in her eyes as she slid her lips back off his shaft and swirled her tongue around his tip again before going back down with that sweet hum that he could feel vibrating at his very root.

His sanity began to fail him at about the fourth slow, deliberate stroke of her mouth on his cock and he briefly registered that the hand gripping his balls had drifted further back and was gently teasing at the flesh just behind them and slipping slowly beyond. But he was far too entranced watching as her gorgeous mouth took him in again and again and her dark locks drifted against his thighs each time she moved close to him.

When he felt her slender finger slip between his cheeks again and meet the barrier of puckered flesh he grew suddenly alert. He looked down at her and met an amused glance with an upraised eyebrow above the pretty mouth that still completely encompassed his engorged flesh. She pulled back abruptly and he slipped out of her warm mouth. She teased her pink tongue over his tip and looked up at him alluringly.

"Do you want to talk about it, James?" she asked huskily, her swollen lips brushing against his burning flesh that was still slick from her attention.

He was confused about what she was referring to exactly, being suddenly more concerned with the fact that she'd just stopped in the middle of what had to be the most mindblowing blowjob he'd ever gotten in his life.

He groaned and gasped with frustration, "I don't give a fuck, Lola, just finish what you started."

She grinned seductively and raised her index finger to her lips, slipped it into her mouth and brought it back out, wet with her saliva. He continued to hold her gaze and moaned deeply in ecstasy as her lips wrapped around him again and she took him into her. His hands drifted up to her head and he twined his fingers through her thick hair, clutching gently at the back of her head and tilting his hips toward her as she drew him into her warm mouth.

He closed his eyes and could feel her pace picking up, and the light caress began again at the back of his balls. Before he could register her action he felt her slick finger slip between his tight cheeks again and go just a little deeper, crossing the sensitive barrier she'd hesitated at before. He let out a small grunt of surprise at the unexpected pleasure the sensation caused, but didn't want to interrupt her for fear that she'd cease the amazing things she was doing to him with her mouth.

Then with a single, subtle curl and twitch of her finger he felt as though every nerve in his body had abruptly come alive. The pressure built fast at the base of his cock and he let out a loud, guttural cry as he felt his balls constrict and every last drop of his thick juices released into her mouth.

She let out a muffled little sound of surprise and slid her mouth back to his tip as she swallowed, stroking him softly with her hand as his orgasm rocked him.

He emitted a soft, low moan when she finally released him and his chin dropped to his still heaving chest. She looked up at him and he returned her gaze with unfocused eyes. She watched, amused, as he shifted to the side and turned, sitting heavily on the bed next to her, then fell back with a sigh. He kicked off his pants and boxers and rested his feet back on the floor.

"Holy shit, Lola. Where did you learn to do that?"

She smiled at him and leaned down on her elbow next to him. She rested her palm gently on his stomach, sliding her hand up over his chest with soft caresses.

"A girl doesn't kiss and tell, James," she said, and leaned down to kiss him. He hummed in sated pleasure against her soft lips and reached a hand up to grip the back of her neck, pulling her into a deeper kiss.

When their lips finally parted she gave him an attentive look.

"What got into you tonight, James? You were... different. I liked it."

He groaned inwardly as he recalled the impetus for his behavior. He sat up again and pushed himself fully onto the bed, reclining back on her pillows. She scooted up beside him and he held out his arm for her to settle against his side, draping his arm over her shoulder and toying with her hair. He leaned into her and breathed deeply through his nose against the back of her ear.

"You smell good enough to eat," he growled and actually began nibbling lightly on her neck.

"James," she said with a husky tone of caution. "You'd better be ready if you're going to start that."

He sighed and sat back. "You drained me dry, Lola. Give me a few more minutes. " He gave her an exhausted little laugh.

"Talk to me, James," she said quietly. "Something was definitely eating at you when you came in... you said 'we need to talk' like it was important."

"I just overreacted a little to something your Mr. Taylor said about you." He shrugged.

She stared at him, shocked. "First of all, he's not  _my_  Mr. Taylor. He belongs to Brynn if he belongs to anyone - she's having his baby for Christ's sake. And second..."

James looked at her intently and cut her off before she could finish, "Wait, she's pregnant?" He snorted softly, "Wish I'd known that before... it might have changed my outlook."

"Second, what did Jacob say about me that got you all worked up to begin with?"

He looked at her sheepishly and mumbled, "He remembered your soap."

"Excuse me, I didn't catch that. It sounded like you said  _he remembered my soap._ " She pulled back from him slightly and gave him an incredulous look.

James nodded and looked at her sidelong, suddenly anxious as to what her response would be.

She laughed softly and shook her head at him. "James, it's incredibly cute that you're jealous, but there's no reason to be."

She shifted her body and lay atop him so she could look directly into his eyes, resting her chin on her twined fingers. He looked away from her, but his large hands drifted across her bare back and he idly trailed his fingers up and down along her spine.

"I wasn't jealous at first, even though I knew you and he had... once..." he sighed. "I don't know what got into me. It was just the idea that he remembered such an intimate detail, I guess. And I  _love_ the smell of your soap." He looked up at her with a small smile and his hands continued to trace small patterns across her skin.

She gazed into his eyes thoughtfully for a moment before she replied. "You know, you probably have a very different association with my soap than he has. For him, it's just how I smell. For you... it's how I smell when we have hot shower sex." She grinned at him seductively.

"So you never had hot shower sex with him?" James asked tentatively.

She shook her head, "Nope. We barely had time for anything so dramatic, or fun. It was just 'I hope to fuck we don't die tomorrow' sex, and it only happened once."

She felt a low vibration in his chest beneath her and his large hands moved to her sides, caressing the sides of her breasts softly and sliding down over her hips.

"You in the mood for some hot shower sex, Lola?" he asked in a thick, suggestive voice as his large hands gripped her backside gently.

"I showered earlier," she said with a teasing smile.

"So, I guess that means I need to get you  _dirty_  if I want hot shower sex, is that what you're telling me, Lola?"

She could feel his reawakening sex beginning to press against her thigh. "Are you sure you have it in you, James? You seemed pretty wiped out after I finished you off earlier."

"I'm sure I have it in me. But that's not what I'm thinking," he said and gripped her by the back of the neck, pulling her face towards his until their lips met. He rolled her over abruptly and pinned her beneath him, supporting his weight with knees and elbows to avoid crushing her. He continued kissing her deeply and with one large hand he teased at the tips of her breasts for a moment before sliding down her naked body.

"It's your turn, Lola," he said as his face drew even with her navel and he trailed soft, lingering kisses lower, making her moan in anticipation.

When she felt his mouth begin teasing between her thighs, she said breathlessly, "Mmm... I'm feeling dirtier by the second."


	5. Tension

Shepard sat crouched behind a supply crate and hurriedly shoved a fresh thermal clip into her gun before peeking around the corner to get another look at the battlefield. She could see James' large armored figure in a similar stance several yards away, waiting for the next wave of Cerberus soldiers that was due to arrive at any second.

He turned to glance at her briefly before turning back to watch for the imminent attack. She saw his lips move behind his faceplate and heard his deep voice speaking suggestively in her headset, "Hey, Lola, how 'bout I give you a nice massage when we get back. Maybe we take our time in the shower first, and then I give you a good rubdown..."

She laughed softly, "I'm not one of your guns, James, and you need to work on your dirty talk a bit if you're trying to get me worked up. A 'rubdown'? Seriously?"

He glanced over at her and she gave him a little shake of her head, rolling her eyes teasingly.

Unfazed, he said in a slow, suggestive tone, "You know I have good hands, Lola. I'm just offering my expertise to help relieve a little tension after we're done here. You know... work out some knots. And I know  _exactly_  where you tend to get tightest... I'd give those spots a little extra attention. Especially that one spot, right below your..."

She heard Garrus' vibrating laughter come through her earpiece, interrupting James' train of thought, "Slow down, soldier. I always thought humans were too soft, but I'm starting to get turned on listening to you two. I might take him up on the offer if you don't, Shepard."

James' voice replied, "No offense, Scars, but you're not exactly my type." He turned his head to look at her and their eyes met for a second. He grinned at her from behind his helmet, his eyes twinkling in amusement. He was clearly having fun with the exchange.

Garrus responded in a playful tone, "I'm crushed. We would have been beautiful together, you and I."

Shepard snickered at them but became instantly alert when Garrus' no-nonsense tone spoke into her ear, "Incoming!"

She saw the Cerberus shuttle fly in and hover a hundred yards away and watched as several soldiers began dropping down to the roof of one of the stacked prefab dwellings the Benning colonists had previously called home. Two of the soldiers suddenly fell dead out of the air, which told her that Garrus was within range of them with his sniper rifle - probably on the roof of another dwelling.

She and James sat guarding the remaining group of colonists who were waiting for extraction.

"Cortez! Where are you! We need to get these colonists out of here,  _now!_ " she yelled into her headset.

As if reading her mind, the Kodiak shuttle instantly appeared at the extraction point behind them and its doors opened up. The last of the colonists piled on and the shuttle took off again.

"I'll be right back for you, Commander," she heard Cortez' voice say in her earpiece.

She darted out from behind her hiding place and ran in a crouch to the corner of a building near where James was taking cover. She peeked around the corner again, and saw three Cerberus soldiers moving forward in a crouch.

"Cover me!" she called out.

"I've got your back, Lola. Go do some damage."

James felt the crackle of her biotics as they amped up. A second later she was just a blur of blue-white energy charging at the cluster of their enemies. He felt a pleasant throbbing between his thighs in response, followed by a sudden uncomfortable pressure behind the armor plate that covered his groin. Fuck if seeing her in action didn't get to him every time, and now was worse than ever. He was forced to ignore it and focus on laying down covering fire against the soldiers he saw stalking around the periphery.

When she hit the cluster of Cerberus soldiers they blew back like bowling pins and lay sprawled on the ground, stunned. Immediately she charged up her biotics again and crouched with one knee to the ground, sending a concussive shockwave of energy in a radius out from her body. The the force of the blast sent them tumbling like rag dolls and they landed unmoving in contorted heaps around her. She dove for cover and James could see the quick shots from her SMG firing at one, then another Cerberus soldier standing in the doorway of a dwelling, making quick work of them.

"Damn, Lola. I think I busted my crotch plate watching your pretty ass move all covered in blue lightning."

"You need to spend more time watching the enemy instead of my ass, Lieutenant," she said sternly, but he could hear the teasing laughter hidden beneath her words.

There was another pair of quick high-pitched shots and two more Cerberus soldiers tumbled from the roof of a building.

"I think that's all of them, Shepard," Garrus said.

They heard the sound of Cortez' voice in their earpieces, "Not quite. There's an Atlas mech headed your way, twelve o'clock, along with another squad of Cerberus assholes. It took a shot at me on my way back to you. I think it knocked out one of the thrusters. I'm going to need to set her down and take a look. You guys hold tight until I can get her moving again."

"We'll be fine, Cortez. How are you on grenades, James?" He met her intense gaze across the bodies strewn around her.

"Full up."

"Good. Let's take these fuckers out!"

She ran to the corner of the next building and took cover with James right behind her. The Atlas and the other soldiers were just out of range.

"Do you have a visual yet, Garrus?" she asked.

"Just about in range," he replied. Less than a minute later one, then another of the half-dozen Cerberus soldiers fell to the ground in a heap. The remaining soldiers immediately ran for cover and the Atlas started shooting in the direction the driver thought the sniper shots had come from.

As soon as the Atlas was within range, James shot the first frag grenade at it, followed immediately by a second. The huge manned mech came to a grinding halt and turned to aim its guns in their direction. James shot another grenade at the same second a sniper shot from Garrus busted through the glass shield of its cockpit. The grenade hit, blowing the driver to pieces and the Atlas stuttered to a stop. It took only a few more minutes for them to take care of the remaining soldiers.

* * *

As they were walking back to the extraction point, Shepard noticed James moving with an odd gait.

"Are you injured, James?" she asked with genuine concern.

He unclipped his helmet and pulled it off. He looked at her with an uncomfortable wince. "Not quite. It's this damn armor. They never make the fucking codpiece big enough."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You've never complained about it before."

"Yeah, well I've never gotten a hard-on in it before," he said slightly under his breath. "And then moving around like that, I think I got pinched. Fuck." He leaned up against a crate when they reached their destination and pulled off his gauntlets, then reached down to fuss with the armor plate that covered his crotch.

Shepard stood watching him with a mixture of concern and amusement as he attempted to shift himself around behind his armor.

"Just... stop. Let me," she said with a shake of her head, then removed her helmet and gauntlets and knelt down in front of him.

"You know, this is your fault, Lola," he said huskily to the top of her head as she deftly unfastened his codpiece and pulled it free of the flexible body armor underneath.

"My fault?" she said, glancing up at him with a smirk. " _You_ were the one checking me out on the battlefield, Lieutenant."

He let out a sigh of relief when the rigid plate came away and his engorged flesh finally stretched against the more elastic fabric of his body armor. But there was no way he was getting the plate back on with her sitting there, her face mere inches from his crotch.

"Do I need to check to make sure you're in one piece under there?" she asked, her lips quirking up on one side. Her hands were resting on the armor plates that covered his muscular thighs and she moved one hand over the large bulge in front of her, squeezing gently.

James glanced around them furtively then cleared his throat and looked down at her. She was still smiling up at him and was already slipping her fingers in between the layers of clingy high-tech webbed fabric and gripping the top of the waistband.

"Well... as long as you're down there, I guess it can't huhhh..."

He lost coherent thought when she peeled the layer of snug body armor down and released him from its confines, slipping his hard length into her mouth.

James tilted his head back with a low growl of pleasure and braced himself with his hands on the supply crate. She worked him deftly with both hands and mouth, and in a matter of minutes he felt his climax building under her touch. He came with a series of quick spasmodic jerks of his hips, and clutched desperately at the back of her neck with one large hand. She swallowed deeply then pulled back from him, giving his swollen tip a gentle kiss before sitting back on her heels and delicately wiping her mouth.

"I think you should be able to fit back into your armor now," she said with quiet professionalism and gave him a smug smile as she stood up and pulled her gauntlets back on.

* * *

"Shepard's not responding, Garrus what's your status?" Cortez asked.

The Turian was quiet for a second, still watching the scene below the roof he was perched on. He'd caught a glimpse of the events through his scope and had watched curiously for several moments before it dawned on him what he was witnessing.

He replied slowly, "Status? Ah, we're fine. I think James was having some kind of...  _thruster_  issue as well... or maybe it was just an armor malfunction. Shepard seems to have it... under control. How's the shuttle?"

There was no response for several seconds. Finally Steve's voice came back, "Ah, that's good to hear... I should be finished in about half an hour. Just sit tight and I'll pick you guys up shortly. Relay the message to Shepard once she's finished taking care of James'  _thruster_ issue." Garrus heard a low laugh before the comm cut off.

* * *

"Wake up, sleepy head," Shepard said quietly, punching at James' armored shoulder when they landed in the shuttle bay of the _Normandy_.

He came awake abruptly and glanced around, instantly alert. His eyes finally settled on her face. She was standing in front of him, bent at the waist and peering at him with an amused but oddly tender smile on her pretty face.

He swiped a large hand over his face and shook his head to wake himself up.

"Back already?" he asked groggily.

"Back already," she confirmed as she turned to exit the shuttle with him stumbling after her.

"Where to next?" he asked, as was his habit at the end of every mission. It was unlikely for her to keep the _Normandy_ in one place for long, even as exhausting as it was, and he never knew what their next stop would be. He was always surprised at how she managed to still have energy for… well,  _him_ , after all this running around. He clearly couldn't stay awake for more than twenty minutes after being with her as their recent mission evidenced.

"The Citadel next. We need to unload some refugees and maybe take a day to decompress before we head out to the Perseus Veil."

He amended his earlier thought. He was surprised at how he still had the energy for  _her_ after all this running around. She was exhausting. Mostly in a good way, but damn. He hated to admit that there was a woman who could best him in the stamina department, but here she was. He laughed silently to himself at the idea and felt his groin twitch as he watched her hips sway in front of him. He stopped short of the elevator and turned to head to his station instead.

"I'll just change here I think. See you later, Lola."

She raised her eyebrows at him as she stepped onto the elevator. He thought he saw a look of disappointment on her face but it disappeared quickly.

"Don't forget your promise, James," she said with a small wave and a knowing smile.

When the doors closed he said, "Esteban, I need new fucking armor. I can't wear this shit around her. It pinches."

"Okay, but you know we need her approval..."

"Fuck that, man, just find me something on the Citadel and I'll go get it when we dock. I'll worry about approval later."

* * *

Shepard sat at the desk in her quarters, wearing a snug black tank top and her usual black sweats. Her hair was still damp from the shower and was pinned up at the nape of her neck. She was busy typing a series of messages, most of which were addressed to the necessary parties at the Citadel to prepare them for the arrival of a shipload of refugees.

She occasionally lifted a glass and sipped at the last of the whiskey that James had brought on their first night together. Every time the warm liquid passed over her tongue she was reminded of another passionate moment that had passed between them in the recent weeks. She let the pleasant memories simmer at the back of her mind while she focused on the myriad other administrative tasks she always reserved for the evening hours when she was alone.

She was reviewing a casualty report that Anderson had sent from Earth when her comm beeped.

"Come in, James," she said without asking who was there. He still had to ask for entry every time, but she always knew it was him. He was as regular as clockwork and she looked forward to his company every evening at about this time.

The thought had crossed her mind that she should just change the security protocols so he had unlimited access, but something still held her back. They were already far beyond a certain stage of intimacy, but there was still an emotional barrier between them that she sensed neither of them was ready to breach. The gesture of granting him unlimited access to her private space might be a little too forward under the circumstances. So she was content to maintain the status quo, at least until it became problematic to do so.

The door whooshed open and she heard his casual gait as he came up behind her.

"Still working, Lola?" he asked in a gruff voice.

"Almost done," she said with a quick glance over her shoulder at him.

She felt his strong hands slide over her shoulders and grip them tightly, his thumbs digging into her tight muscles. She groaned involuntarily at the pleasure of the sensation and her fingers paused on the keyboard before her.

She felt him bend over and place his mouth next to her ear, his breath hot against her skin, "I did promise you a massage..."

He rested his thumbs at the tops of her shoulders and let his fingers drift down the bare skin of her chest, stopping just above the neckline of her tanktop and resting there softly. The heat of his skin penetrated through hers pleasantly. She could smell a subtle spice wafting from his skin that she recognized was the bodywash he used when he didn't shower with her.

She turned her head to look up at him with a smile. "I didn't forget. Just give me a few minutes to finish some work."

She felt his shrug and his hands drifted away from her skin, leaving a warm, tingling sensation behind. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, finally managing to focus again on her task.

* * *

James settled on the sofa to wait while she finished her work. This had become a routine for them and he'd been attempting to brainstorm a way to break out of it, but hadn't had any luck yet. He knew she had the weight of the entire galaxy on her shoulders so the least he could do was just be here for her. He reached for the bottle of whiskey but was disappointed when he found it empty, so he set it back down and settled back in his seat.

He turned his head when he heard her moving towards him a few moments later. She came down the steps and walked towards him, then collapsed into his lap with a sigh. His large arms wrapped around her by reflex and he enjoyed the pleasant weight of her against him.

"We're out of whiskey," she said in a forlorn voice and looked at him dejectedly.

"I noticed," he said, stroking her back through the thin fabric of her shirt. There was something in the shared ownership of her statement that made his heart do a little somersault. It brought forth so many images of sharing other things with her. Imaginary things that would probably never be theirs, even if they won this war. But he could hope.

He slipped one strong arm under her knees and stood up, lifting her in his arms. He walked to the bed and set her down beside it, smiling at her.

"Take off your clothes," he said in a quiet voice against her ear.

She raised an eyebrow at him and said, "You don't waste any time do you?"

He rolled his eyes at her, "Don't get excited, Lola." He pulled a small container out of his pocket and showed it to her.

"Massage oil," he explained. "Now take off your clothes so I can do what I came here to do."

"Don't get excited, you say... This is the most exciting thing that's happened to me all day." She grinned and he raised his eyebrows at her in response.

"Well, almost," she said, teasing her fingers at his belt buckle. He took a step back from her and crossed his arms, looking at her sternly.

She laughed and said, "Okay, clothes are coming off."

A moment later she stood naked before him and tilted her head slightly to one side, meeting his eyes.

"Where do you want me?" she asked huskily.

His eyes raked over her slowly, traveling across her soft curves, down her lean, muscular legs, then back up to her face. He stepped close to her again and she could feel his body heat radiating through his clothes and warming her bare skin. She shivered slightly when he reached a hand up to the back of her neck and she felt the tug as he unclipped her hair and let the still damp tendrils fall down over her shoulders.

"On the bed, face down," he said when his eyes met hers again. He gestured to the bed behind her.

She settled herself on the bed with a pillow clutched in her arms and her cheek resting on it. She turned to watch him as he undressed down to his shorts, then moved to the bed and climbed on, settling himself on his knees with his thighs straddling her naked hips.

She felt a trail of cool wetness down her spine that made her shiver involuntarily as he poured a small amount of oil onto her back. She closed her eyes and moaned softly when she felt his large hands begin to move against her skin. He slid his fingers up her spine gently to distribute the oil, then started from her shoulders, his strong thumbs digging into her muscles with slow, circular motions. The tension began to gradually leave her body as he worked and she made soft little noises of enjoyment.

He worked his way down her back, then back up with deliberate care, not missing an inch of her skin. She felt him shift his weight off her to one side, and he gently gripped her hand, straightening her arm out. He began with her palm and moved up across her wrist and forearm, massaging gently all the way up to her shoulder. When he finished with her other arm she felt his weight leave the bed. She opened her eyes to look for him, but he had moved beyond her line of sight. She heard a rustle of fabric and after a moment she felt his touch return to her, both of his hands gripping her by one foot.

She sighed at the pleasant relief she felt when his fingers dug into the tight muscles of her heel and moved up to her calf. She hadn't realized how tight she'd been until he'd started digging into her muscles one by one. He worked at the muscles of her leg up to mid-thigh before moving back down to start on the other leg. She was mildly disappointed when he didn't move any higher.

"I think you missed a spot," she said.

"Relax, Lola. There's an art to this. You can't rush it."

She felt his weight settle across her hips again and was pleasantly surprised when she felt the bare skin of his thighs and the soft pressure of his balls resting against the swell of her ass. The growing heat between her thighs amped up by what felt like a hundred degrees. She let out a soft moan into her pillow.

His hands were on her back again, but softer this time. She felt him lean over her and his soft lips pressed against the skin between her shoulder blades. She could feel the hot, smooth skin of his arousal brush against her lower back. He shifted lower, caressing down her spine with his fingertips, following the trail with his lips and tongue. She felt his hard length drift against the crack of her ass as he moved down her body and she tilted her hips slightly in response.

She could feel his lips move softly against the top of her cleft. "Tell me which spot I missed, Lola," he said throatily. "Am I getting warm?" His oil-slick hands began gently massaging her taut cheeks.

"Mmm, more like hot," she murmured. Her entire body tingled with pleasure as his hands squeezed her supple flesh.

His hands moved lower, his large fingers and thumbs massaging the muscles of her upper thighs. Her breath quickened when she felt his thumbs drifting to the tops of her thighs, ever closer to her center. She moaned when one large digit brushed softly against the outer folds of her sex, then groaned in frustration when his touch moved away and back down her thighs again.

"James..." she gasped. "Are you trying to make me beg?"

He laughed softly. "Be patient, Lola. I'm working up to it."

She felt his weight shift again and he pushed her thighs apart, moving to kneel on the bed between her legs. She heard a deep rumble in his chest when his hands slid back up her inner thighs and pushed them a little wider.

"I can see how wet you are, Lola," he said, his voice thick with desire. His hands gripped her ass again and one thumb slipped between her cheeks, sliding downward until he made tantalizing contact with her wet core. She inhaled sharply when she felt his thumbs slip in between her wet folds and draw them apart. She moaned as one thick digit slipped in deeper. He slipped his thumb back out of her and slid it across her slick flesh, finding her small, swollen pleasure center and gently teasing at it.

"I want you inside me, James," she gasped roughly. All she heard in response was a deep growl from behind her and his hands gripped her hips tightly, urging them up off the bed. She bent her knees and raised herself up on her hands, tilting her hips back towards him.

She let out a soft cry when he plunged his thick length into her. He grunted at the sudden pleasure of her tight flesh wrapped around him and sat unmoving for a moment, enjoying the sensation. He bent over her and snaked one muscular arm around her, urging her to a kneeling position with her thighs still spread wide and straddling his bent knees. Her bare back was flush against his muscular chest, their hips still nestled together tightly, connected by hot, throbbing flesh.

He slid his large hands down her arms and grasped her by the wrists, lifting her hands up and placing them at the back of his neck. His hands caressed slowly down her arms again and over her torso as he began moving inside her with slow, deep thrusts. He cupped her breasts gently with both hands and teased at her hard pink tips, then trailed the fingertips of one hand slowly over the soft skin of her stomach and lower, finding the sweet spot between her thighs again.

"You feel incredible," he whispered in her ear and continued to move his hips against hers, driving his hard flesh deeper inside of her.

"James," she sighed in response as she clutched the back of his neck with her hands. She felt his lips and tongue trail soft kisses and bites down the side of her neck.

She moaned in pleasure at the sensation of being spread wide and vulnerable before him with his fingers working deftly at her core. The exquisite thrusting pressure of his thick sex filled her up over and over and she felt the flood of her climax rise suddenly and begin to overtake her. She cried out his name again between heavy pants for breath.

He embraced her with both arms and bent his head, biting gently at the flesh of her shoulder as he increased the tempo of his thrusting. The delicious clenching spasms of her muscles around him and her smooth, pliant flesh under his hands finally sent him over the edge. He threw his head back, emitting a loud, guttural cry at the stars through the skylight overhead as he came.

They collapsed in a tangle of sweaty limbs. She curled into him and his arm drifted around her shoulders, holding her closer.

"I was a fool to doubt you, James," she said with a sated smile. He met her gaze with a look of smug satisfaction.

"Just admit it, you knew it would be good," he said.

"Only because it's  _always_  good. You never cease to amaze me."

She studied his face and in the span of a moment something seemed to  _click_ between them, like two halves of a latch finally connecting. She felt a funny little flutter inside her gut.

He held her gaze and then cleared his throat.

"The feeling is mutual, Lola," he said quietly, and for a second she wondered if he had read her mind.


	6. Inked

Shepard awoke in the early hours to the feel of the drive core dropping out of FTL, signaling their arrival in Citadel space. She could hear James' steady breathing beside her and turned on her side to look at him. He was lying on his back with one arm crooked on the pillow above his head and the other resting loosely on his bare stomach, the bedsheet concealing everything from his hips down. The pale glow of starlight and the mass effect field outside the skylight etched the planes of his well-muscled torso in stark relief. She lay watching him sleep for a moment, admiring the rise and fall of his thick chest.

He had surprised her, she had to admit. She couldn't deny that she'd been attracted to him from the very beginning of their acquaintance, and could tell the feeling was mutual. James had seemed refreshingly light of emotional baggage, or at least he was adept enough at compartmentalizing that he never let it affect the time they spent together. Neither of them had articulated a desire for anything deeper than a casual fling, which she had been grateful for after seeing Kaidan again and deciding to welcome him to the _Normandy_ 's crew for the second time, in spite of their history. She admitted that James had been a distraction for her; a distraction from every kind of loss you can imagine as the Reapers gradually destroyed everything dear to her, and one friend after another lost their lives in the process.

She hadn't counted on ever feeling more than that, but found herself contemplating the shape of things as they stood now. Over the past several weeks James had become a constant in her life. She was comforted by his presence more and more. He was dependable, unchanging, and strangely intuitive to her moods. He seemed to be able to tell when she wanted to talk and when she wanted to just shut up and fuck. The better part of their shared routine when they weren't on a mission was either having mind-blowing sex or lying in her bed together talking about anything but the war.

As she looked at him she felt the flutter in her gut again. Dammit, was she actually starting to fall for the man? A little voice inside her asked,  _"Would that be so bad, really?"_  No, it wouldn't, but it scared her a little bit. There was a chance either or both of them wouldn't survive this war and becoming emotionally involved wouldn't make things easier for whoever ended up left behind, she knew that much. But on the other hand, she also had a strong feeling that it was even more foolish to hold back when their situation was so very precarious. This might literally be the last chance they had to find anything of substance with someone else. Not that she considered him a last resort by any means.

She let out a small sigh and attempted to push the thoughts aside. At least she knew one surefire way to distract herself from them. She propped up on her elbow and reached out her other hand, trailing her fingertips lightly down the smooth skin of his chest, down across his stomach. She could feel the remnants of the sweet-smelling massage oil that had rubbed off her back onto him the night before. She felt a slight tingle between her thighs at the memory. Her fingers skimmed lower until she reached the small path of dark hair that extended below his navel and kept going beneath the bedsheet. She ran her fingers sideways along his lower abdomen and his hips where they were exposed above the sheet and smiled faintly when she saw his flesh twitch and begin to grow beneath the sheer fabric that only just barely concealed him from her eyes.

She pulled the sheet gently down his hips, exposing his hardening flesh to her and she idly caressed his bare inner thigh and ran a soft finger up along his length while she admired him. The sight of his perfectly muscled body laying there stretched out in the starlight with the flesh between his thighs standing proudly erect caused a low heat to build in her center. She felt the familiar throb of need deep between her thighs and sat up, moving quietly to straddle his hips. She raised her hips up and used one hand to guide him into her slowly. The first stroke always sent her head spinning with the way her tight flesh stretched to accommodate his thickness. She let out a soft moan at the sensation and began to move slowly atop him.

He began to rouse after the third or fourth stroke. A look of mild consternation flickered across his face and his hands moved down to grip her thighs. When they found solid flesh a slow smile spread across his face and he opened sleepy eyes to look at her.

"You just help yourself, Lola, don't mind me," he said to her, his voice still thick and groggy from sleep.

"Mmm, don't mind if I do," she responded silkily with a smile of her own.

He slid his large hands up her thighs and squeezed gently at her backside, then bent his knees behind her and sat up. He wrapped his arms around her torso in a loose embrace and tilted his head to her breast, capturing one nipple gently between his lips and flicking his tongue over it until she arched her back and he heard her moan at the sensation. He switched to her other breast and she sighed in pleasure at the contact.

She gripped the back of his neck with one hand. He tilted his head back, meeting her gaze. They held each other's eyes for several passion-charged seconds with parted lips, chests heaving in tandem as she rocked against him. He remembered that same look in her eyes from the night before and wondered briefly if it meant what he thought it meant. He slid one large hand to the back of her neck and pulled her face to his, their lips meeting in a hungry, penetrating kiss, their tongues dancing in tempo to their rocking hips.

They broke away from the kiss a moment later. He gripped her shoulders gently and tilted her backwards, and in one smooth movement he rolled forward. She lay beneath him with her head hanging slightly off the end of the bed, her dark, tangled locks drifting against the floor. She wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders and gasped at the sudden change in angle and the deepened penetration of his length inside her as his hips began moving against hers again.

He braced his weight on one arm and bent his head, kissing and nuzzling at her exposed throat as he slid his other hand down her side, thumb drifting over the tip of her breast and lower. His hand drifted down past her hip until he reached her thigh and gripped her just behind the knee, urging her legs up. She obediently lifted them and wrapped them around his torso, locking her ankles behind him. He moaned softly against her neck at the delicious feel of all her soft skin sliding against his own.

He found her mouth with his again and kissed her fervently. He wished briefly that they could stay like this forever. Forget the Reapers, forget the Alliance, forget politics, forget everything but the feel of her body under his, wrapped around him and writhing in ecstasy.

Her quickened breathing and urgent grinding of her hips brought him out of the brief reverie. He increased his own pace to accommodate her and within seconds her thighs began to quiver and tighten around him, her nails digging into his biceps. Her breathing became quick and shallow, interspersed with cries of pleasure. Their climax hit them both simultaneously and he arched his back with a final solid thrust. Their passionate cries mingled as her muscles clenched around his spasming flesh.

He snaked his arms around her back and lifted her upright again, leaning back on his heels as he did so. She embraced him with both arms and legs and kissed him deeply between gasping breaths.

"You're gonna run out of ways to outdo yourself, James," she said breathlessly against his lips.

He laughed. "What do you mean me? You started it." He paused, trying to catch his breath, shaking his head slowly from side to side. "Damn, Lola. And I was having the dirtiest dream about you, but it didn't even compare to what I woke up to."

She slipped out of his arms with a small sigh and he watched in a daze as she stood and strolled up the steps headed for the bathroom. A moment later he heard the sound of the shower starting up.

"Are you joining me?" she called to him. He contemplated briefly then checked the clock. By his estimate they'd be docking at the Citadel in little more than an hour, and he knew if he got in that shower with her they may never leave her room again. He commanded his limbs into action and started throwing on his clothes.

He called back, "Nah, as tempting as your shower is, Lola, I think I'll shower down on the crew deck before we dock."

"Suit yourself," she called back with a laugh. He shook his head and smiled to himself. Evil temptress.

After he finished dressing, he walked up the steps and stood leaning against the open doorway to her bathroom for a moment, enjoying the way the water shimmered alluringly where it ran in small rivulets over her naked skin.

She glanced over one wet shoulder and said, "Hey, before you go, can you give me the name of that guy on the Citadel? The tattoo artist... you said you knew one who wasn't Batarian."

His eyebrows shot up and he stared at her for a second, speechless, then his mouth quirked up in a sideways grin.

"You finally decided to get some ink, Lola?" he asked, intrigued.

"Maybe. I want to meet the guy first before I decide."

He turned to find a piece of paper and a pen on her desk and scribbled a few lines.

"Just remember, it's spelled J-A-M-E-S," he said, poker-faced. "You can surprise me with where you have him put it, just make sure it isn't in a place I'll have to punch his lights out for. The old bastard's a friend, and it's hard to find good tattoo artists. Also, don't believe a word he says about me."

She laughed and said, "I'll keep that in mind. What are you up to today?"

He shrugged. "Picking up some new armor hopefully. Restocking. Maybe some Sky-Five at the docks if I have any money left. The usual."

"Drinks later?" she asked without turning around again. "I should be done by nineteen-hundred."

"Sounds good. Later, Lola," he said, and casually strolled out her door.

* * *

As James entered the elevator and punched the floor for the crew deck he got the strangest feeling that they were leaving something important unsaid. Had it been his imagination, or had she actually looked at him like he was more than just a diversion for a change?

He hadn't had any illusions about where he stood with her and their... whatever this was.  _Relationship_  was far too heavy a word to attach to it, he thought. He could admit that he cared about her - probably more than he ought to under the circumstances - but he was fine if it was just a fling. He knew their mission was risky enough that getting attached could prove to be a disadvantage. Besides, she was his commanding officer, and her disregard for regs didn't change that. He just chalked her interest up to the dire situation they were in with the war, and left it at that. He didn't think it prudent to draw too much attention to the issue, anyway. Why spoil a good thing? Plus, she was a Spectre, and that kindof trumped Alliance chain of command, anyway, didn't it?

Regardless of all the excuses, he wasn't a stranger to the idea of "friends-with-benefits," but it was beginning to feel distinctly like they were treading on unfamiliar territory; like they were becoming something more than just friends. Those looks she had shot him were definitely new. And at the risk of over thinking things, he thought it would be a good idea to find out if they were about to get into something deeper. If that were the case, he wouldn't hesitate to go all in, but he didn't do commitment by halves, and he needed to make sure she understood that.

When the elevator door opened on the crew deck his mind was still churning through the possibilities for scenarios in which he confronted her about the issue. He changed his mind and punched the button again, heading to the shuttle bay to his weights and punching bag. He hoped a good workout would help clear his head a little.

When he heard Joker's voice announce that they were docking forty-five minutes later, he was drenched in sweat and no closer to a decision. What if he'd misread her completely? He thought he'd gotten pretty good at understanding her moods lately, but could he be wrong about this? Fuck, he needed to get his mind off her for awhile.

He almost barrelled into Cortez and Alenko when he stepped off the elevator onto the crew deck. Those two seemed fucking joined at the hip lately.

"Vega, we're headed to Apollo's for breakfast, want to join us?" Steve asked casually. Kaidan shot Steve a surprised look that James thought might have been tinged with annoyance.

His stomach rumbled loudly before he had a chance to answer. "Um, yeah, that would be fantastic, actually. Just give me ten minutes to shower and change."

* * *

Shepard navigated the back alleys of the Citadel Wards searching for the address James had written down for her. It turned out to be a small, run-down shopfront in the Lower Wards with heavy block lettering on the front window that proclaimed it as "Blackwork Tattoo." The interior was dark, but she could see a light glowing from a doorway down a small hallway inside. She hit the comm buzzer outside the door. When there was no answer she hit the button again and spoke into the small speaker.

"Mason Black? A... friend - Lieutenant James Vega - said you could help me with something."

She thought she saw a shadow of movement in the back of the shop and then a deep, gravelly voice came through the speaker.

"Yeah? And who would I be helping exactly?"

"Commander Shepard. You might have heard of me."

A moment later a hulking form blocked the light in the hallway and stalked out in the process of yanking up and fastening his pants. The lithe form of a pretty Asari trotted out behind him still clearly in the process of dressing. Shepard stood to the side as he yanked the door open and the girl ran out, propelled by a quick smack on her behind from the man's large hand. He propped the door open and stood in the doorway with his arms crossed and sized her up.

"You don't look like a Commander to me," he said after sizing her up in a way that made her feel a little bit more vulnerable than she'd expected to. She briefly regretted opting for civilian clothes today, thinking she'd be more comfortable if she decided to go through with the tattoo. She'd even left her hair down, hoping to appear less the uptight military type. She didn't think she'd have anything to prove to this surly old bastard.

"I have credentials if you need proof," she said, holding his steely gaze with one of equal hardness, then proceeded to take his measure with her own eyes.

He was a huge, muscular man, almost bigger than James, and he'd clearly seen his share of scrapes in his life. His skull was shaved completely bald and deep crow's feet radiated out from the corners of steel-grey eyes that didn't seem to miss a single detail. He had a toothpick solidly tucked in the corner of an unsmiling mouth that was punctuated on either side by deep lines. His clenched jaw was dusted with a healthy layer of silvery grey stubble and there were a myriad of small scars decorating his weathered face. He was wearing a tight black tanktop that showed off massive arms that were covered from shoulder to wrist in detailed black tattoos, and black cargo pants extended down to the tops of his pale bare feet.

Ex-mercenary, Shepard concluded. Her assessment was confirmed when she caught a glimpse of the familiar Blue Suns tattoo on one side of his neck, the only bit of color she could see on him.

"Ex Blue Sun," she observed out loud. "You must have known Zaeed Massani." She decided to take a chance that he didn't despise the Blue Suns' former co-founder.

He grunted in response, cutting his eyes to one side, and she thought she almost saw him smile around his toothpick.

He looked back at her with a slight tilt of his head and said, "Jimmy only refers people he really likes... and he's never referred a woman before. You must either be a fantastic lay, or little Jimmy's in love for once." His eyes raked down her torso again and he grinned and said, "Or both."

"Or it could just be because I'm his CO," she shot back with a heated glare. She was getting a little fed up with the man's posturing.

He glared back and bared his teeth, then spat out, "You could just be another goddamn Cerberus cyborg for all I know." He advanced on her suddenly with a look of menace. In a quick blur of action, she grabbed him by the wrist and with a hard yank and a twist she knocked his feet out from under him with a sweep of her leg. He went down with a heavy thud and a grunt in the middle of the doorway with her knee against his breastbone.

His expression split into a huge grin as he looked up at her.

"Oh, you're a keeper," he said. "Make sure you tell Jimmy I told you that when you see him. Help me up." She gave him a perplexed smile and stood back, pulling him back to his feet and groaning to herself when she caught his eyes roving down her neckline before she'd stood upright again.

"A second ago you were accusing me of being a Cerberus cyborg. Now I'm passing messages along for you?"

He shrugged. "Cyborgs don't usually have racks as nice as yours," he said, gesturing at her tight-fitting low-cut shirt. "Or hickeys." She flushed brightly and reached a hand up to where she distinctly recalled James' teeth sinking into her shoulder the night before - or had it been that morning? She'd thought she'd chosen a shirt that covered it up well enough.

"The infamous Commander Shepard," he said with a low chuckle, eyeing her up and down again with a more friendly expression. His face was utterly transformed by his smile, his eyes lighting up with joy.

"I never in a million years imagined I'd get to meet you. To what do I owe this honor, other than Jimmy, of course."

"James says you're the best tattoo artist in the galaxy. I want a tattoo."

She thought she saw the big man blush and smiled to herself. He clearly responded well to flattery.

"Well, that I can definitely help you with, Shepard. Come on in."

He held the door open for her and then locked it behind her after she walked in.

"Just make yourself comfortable," he said as he wandered into a room further down the hallway.

"So, by way of a proper introduction, what does Jimmy call you?" she heard him ask from the other room. She heard a shower start up.

The question surprised her, "Ah... he calls me  _Lola_. And you?"

He laughed a deep, throaty laugh, "Lola, Lola, Lola. I remember that one. He's in  _deep_  with you and he probably doesn't even know it yet. He calls me Diego. Something to do with an old Latin painter. I never really got it, myself, but that's Jimmy for ya."

She wandered around idly exploring the interior of the tattoo parlor. It was sparsely furnished, with only just enough decoration to make it seem like a legitimate business. There was a small area partitioned off from the view of the shop's front window that had mirrors on all the walls and an oddly shaped leather-upholstered seat in the center that looked well-worn. It was as clean and well organized as a clinic and she would have thought that's where she was except for the scrolling border of photographs that flickered around the upper edge of the walls above the mirrors.

"So, how do you know James exactly?" she asked through the doorway as she occupied herself by watching the slideshow of tattoos that streamed around the room.

His deep voice called back over the sound of the shower, "His uncle and I enlisted together. Went through boot camp. Got real tight during the First Contact war." There was a brief pause before he continued. "Shit happened after that and we went our separate ways, but I keep my promises. Try to look out for Jimmy when he's on my side of the galaxy. The least I could do after his uncle saved my life."

There was some impressive artwork to look at, she had to admit. She was pretty sure she saw a couple of James' tattoos in the mix.

"I heard about Massani joining your team when you were with Cerberus," she heard him say as he came back into the room. She stiffened slightly at the association, but his placid expression and non-judgmental tone set her at ease again.

"I left the Suns not long after that stunt Vido pulled. That fucker should have known better than to cross him... I understand you were there at the end of their little tif?" She nodded impassively. It hadn't been one of her prouder moments, giving in to the old mercenary's need for revenge.

"Man, I'd have loved to have seen the look on Vido's face at the end," the large man shook his head and smiled.

"Zaeed's one tough old bastard," she said.

He nodded and smiled back, "The only person I've heard of tougher than him is you, and if the stories are true, I believe it. But sweetness, you are  _much_  easier on the eyes. If you run into him again, tell him he owes me a drink. Now, tell me what I can do for you."

He was attentive as she pulled the small piece of paper out of her pocket and showed it to him, explaining what she wanted.

He glanced at her with a look of surprise and asked, "This is your first tattoo?" She nodded. He shook his head slowly.

"Shepard, you be careful. If Jimmy sees this, there's a strong chance he'll propose. Just prepare yourself is all I'm saying."

She laughed softly. "Thanks for the warning. So, it sounds like you know  _Jimmy_ pretty well. Got any good stories to help pass the time?"

He gave her a conspiratorial grin as he readied his ink gun. She turned around modestly and began to take off her shirt when she realized the mirrors pretty much showed every angle of her to the rest of the room no matter where she stood.

She hesitated for a second and he laughed, saying, "Sweetness, I've seen it all before. Yours may be nicer than most, but I think I can contain myself if I have to look at another pair."

So she stripped off her shirt and settled into the chair with her back facing him, listening raptly as he began applying ink to her fair skin and spinning tales as he worked.

* * *

It took all of ten minutes at breakfast before James started feeling like a third wheel. Steve seemed not to mind, but Kaidan kept giving James sidelong looks that were bordering on hostile. He scarfed down his breakfast and then booked, promising Steve he'd buy them drinks at Purgatory later to make up for it. He was pretty sure the Major looked relieved when he finally left.

He spent the first few hours on auto-pilot before it seemed like his internal VI began shorting out. He'd had a list of things he planned to do when he started out, but he kept getting distracted by things that reminded him of her. He felt like an ass at the armory kiosk when they brought him back to have the armor fitted. Was he seriously buying new armor because he couldn't contain himself around a woman? But when his mind drifted back to that morning he was acutely reminded of the validity of the concern. He finally settled on a suit he felt comfortable with and winced at the amount of credits he was dropping on it.

He stopped at the weapons kiosk to order a restock of the _Normandy_ 's inventory of thermal clips. On a whim he began browsing through the wares, expertly inspecting the different pieces. When he saw the upgraded Tempest he immediately thought of her and spent a good hour looking it over, testing its weight and sights. He'd seen how she fought and knew this was exactly the type of SMG she liked. He knew she was only still using the Shuriken because it had been readily available when they'd left Earth and she'd gotten used to it, preferring to defer resources to the team members that relied more on weapons than she did. But thinking of her charging into the middle of a pile of Cerberus soldiers or Reaper husks, whipping this little beauty out and laying them all to waste with it... yeah, he got just a little hard at the thought.

"I'll take this one. Do you gift wrap?"

When he made it to Purgatory that evening he was earlier than he thought he'd be, but he was ready for a drink. He'd lost a few hands at the docks before finally just giving up and leaving after making random excuses to the other players. He hadn't been able to shake the lingering thoughts of her all day, so at the very least he hoped a drink or two might help shed some tension before she joined him.

He stood at the bar and ordered a whiskey. As he sat nursing it he saw Cortez and Alenko drift in. Alenko definitely seemed more relaxed than he'd been that morning and he wondered briefly what they'd been up to all day, but realized suddenly that he really didn't need to know. Cortez waved him over to their table and he ordered a quick round for them before sauntering over.

He noted that it was close to the time she said she'd be there and took a seat across from the others so that he had a clear view of the entrance to the club.

"Waiting for someone?" Kaidan asked.

"Shepard said she'd meet me here tonight," he replied nonchalantly, making an effort not to keep glancing towards the door. Kaidan nodded and the three of them fell into idle conversation that James was only half aware of. He noted after awhile that Steve seemed a hundred times more positive than he had in weeks and he finally started to take note of the way the two men behaved with each other. It was clear to him from their lingering looks and their close proximity to the other that their relationship had progressed into more serious territory. And they made it look almost easy. His stomach did a little flip at the idea that he could have that with her if things went the way he was hoping they would. And it finally hit him how much he wanted it to work out that way.  _Don't jump the gun, pendejo. Wait until you talk to her before you get all wrapped up in the idea,_  he told himself. He tossed back the rest of his drink in one long swallow.

Cortez stood to fetch another round from the bar. After he was out of earshot Kaidan asked, "So, things are getting serious between you two?"

James' gaze shot up to meet the other man's eyes. He cleared his throat.

"Why do you ask?" he said, warily.

Kaidan shrugged. "After that little show with Taylor, it seemed like that's the direction things were headed. And I've seen the way she is around you."

James laughed, "The thing with Taylor was just territorial bullshit. It had nothing to do with feelings."

Kaidan looked unconvinced. In a skeptical tone, he said, "Sure it didn't." He studied James for a minute and said, "If it makes you feel better, I wanted to punch the guy, too, the way he was talking about her."

James gave him an appraising look. "You still care about her," he stated directly.

Kaidan met his eyes and nodded, "Yeah, how could I not? I'm the first to admit I was a fool to let her go, but I get the feeling you're better for her than I was." He hesitated for several seconds and then said softly, "She's more fragile than she lets on. She needs someone strong enough to really be there for her. Especially now... I don't think I could be that person in her life, even if she'd let me. Just... don't make the same mistake I did. Make sure you hold on to her."

James wasn't sure he agreed with Alenko's assessment of her, but nodded and said, "I intend to, if that's what she wants. What happens next is kindof up to her."

Cortez returned with their drinks a moment later. James had his halfway to his lips when he cast a glance toward the door and his heart skittered to a stop. He felt suddenly dizzy when all the blood from his head decided to rush southward.

" _Fuck. Me._ " he whispered, and his companions both turned to look at what he was fixated on. If he'd been marginally aware of his surroundings, he would have noticed that a majority of the other bar patrons, males and females alike, seemed to be having a similar reaction to the long-legged beauty in black that had just strolled into Purgatory.

Shepard turned her head to the bar and gave him a bright smile when she saw him and started towards their table. Her creamy skin was lightly flushed and her dark-fringed eyes were bright as they met his gaze and held it intently. Her black hair was loose and fell in shining waves over her back and shoulders. She was wearing a snug black blouse that wrapped around her midsection and was cut in a low V that accented the shapes of her perfect breasts as they bounced and swayed alluringly with each step closer to him. Her tight black pants hugged her swaying hips just right, and fit her thighs perfectly, their line interrupted halfway down her legs by the tops of a pair of high leather boots.

Before he could even process his reaction she was sitting down next to him and leaning in to whisper in his ear. He couldn't even hear her words because his brain was still frantically trying to catch up to the sensory overload that she was inflicting upon him as her hand slid up his thigh and her soft breasts pressed against his upper arm. The familiar scent of her drifted to his nostrils, and he briefly registered that she wasn't wearing a bra, her nipples stretching at the fabric of her shirt with tantalizing clarity. She raised her hand to his chin and gripped it gently between thumb and forefinger, turning his face towards hers and laying a soft but sensuous kiss against his lips. He returned the kiss and could taste the sweet warmth of expensive whiskey on her tongue.

"Mmm, hey Lola," he said in a daze when she pulled back from the kiss and he could respond to the verbal greeting she'd given him earlier. When his brain finally caught up with all his senses he realized she had just called him  _Jimmy_.

"That old bastard," he muttered under his breath with a small shake of his head. She grinned at him.

"Should I ask how it went today?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"It was... educational," she said with a sly smile. "But don't worry, your secrets are safe with me." She winked at him.

"He lies, you know. I'm just sayin'," he said in a sulky tone.

"Well, liar or not, he has fantastic taste in liquor. He sent you a gift," she said and set a square, black-labeled bottle in the center of the table. "I'll go grab another glass so we can all share."

As he craned his neck to watch her walk to the bar, he heard low laughter coming from the other side of the table. He turned back to see Kaidan trying ineffectually to stifle a laugh and Steve sitting with an amused smile beside him.

"Jimmy?" Kaidan said with a grin. "That sounds pretty serious to me, man."

"Shut up."

* * *

James spent the next two hours in even worse conflict than he had all day, simultaneously anxious about talking to her and eager to get her alone in her quarters and rip off her clothes. And the question kept popping into his mind about the tattoo she'd said she might get today. She hadn't mentioned it again and he hadn't had a chance to ask, not certain whether she wanted the information to be common knowledge, but he'd noticed she was sitting a little stiffly and had shied away slightly whenever he tried to touch her on the back. His curiosity was almost overwhelming when she smacked an empty shot glass down on the table.

Steve said, "Damn, Shepard. How can you drink like that? What do you weigh, 110 soaking wet?"

James laughed and said, "She's heavier than she looks." Shepard shot him an evil glare and he grunted out a laugh when her elbow made sharp contact with his ribs.

She pointed at Kaidan and they shared a jubilant glance and said in unison, "The wonders of biotic metabolism."

She laughed out loud. "Kaidan, remember that night in Afterlife when the bartender tried to poison us?"

"Us?" Kaidan asked, incredulous. "You were the only one dumb enough to accept a drink from a Batarian. You were unconscious for a good hour before we managed to revive you."

"Well, I did get free drinks in the bar after that night," she said with a laugh.

Her metabolism may have been better than most, but she was clearly showing the signs of having effectively just drank the rest of them under the table. When she suggested dancing he knew it was time to go before she made a complete fool of herself.

"Lola," he whispered in her ear in a tone he'd learned she would respond to in a certain way. In a husky voice he said, "Let's get outa here." For emphasis, he kissed her neck just beneath her earlobe and slowly slid his hand up her side, stroking the underside of her breast lightly with his thumb. He heard her breath hitch and she turned to meet his gaze.

"I thought you'd never ask," she said with a sultry smile.

* * *

They made it as far as the _Normandy_ 's elevator before she had him up against the wall, the entire length of her body pressed against his and her lips hungrily kissing him. He realized at one point that this was the perfect moment for him to live out his old fantasy of having her in the elevator, but the thought seemed trite and pointless. He'd grown used to having her utterly bare and writhing beneath him, or on top of him, or in any number of other positions, depending on how the mood struck them. Fucking in an elevator limited the possibilities somewhat.

When they reached her quarters, she pressed him against the wall again. He held her back gently and said in a quiet voice, "Hang on, Lola, I think you have something to show me."

She drew back from him and a slow smile spread across her face.

"Are you sure you're ready for that, James? You might fall in love."

He groaned softly when he felt her hips grind against his again. In a breathless voice he said, "I could think of worse things."  _I think I'm already there, anyway_ , he thought to himself.

She led him to her bed and urged him to sit, then rested on his lap with her back to him.

"I'll let you do the honors," she said, raising her arms up above her head.

He hesitated for a second, resting his large hands at her hips before he gripped the hem of her shirt and pulled it up, anxious but eager to see what the sheer fabric would reveal. As the edge of the shirt rose up he began to see bits of black ink decorating her skin. The black shapes became larger and darker as he raised his hands up with the thin fabric gripped between his fingers. His breath quickened and he felt his already hard flesh begin to throb painfully against his fatigues. When the shirt passed her shoulders and over her head, she pulled her hair to the front and glanced back at him where he sat in stunned silence.

"So, what do you think?" she asked with quiet apprehension.

"I think I'm in love."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shepard's Tattoo: http://i.imgur.com/yBFpa.jpg  
> It is just a combination of the paragon/renegade symbols from the game that I Gimped together - pretty uninspired, really, but I always thought wing tattoos were rad.


	7. Forever is a Four-Letter Word

He was dumbstruck when the large blackwork pattern on her back was revealed to him. She had a swath of solid black ink in the shape of a pair of large yet beautifully balanced wings that nearly covered the top half of her back, with a five-pointed star nestled just between them.

She didn't fuck around, did she? He almost laughed. Leave it up to Shepard to outdo everyone with a single gesture. Holy shit, and here he thought his brain had shorted out just seeing her in civilian clothes for the first time and realizing how much woman she was when you got her out of uniform. Taylor hadn't been joking when he'd said she was in a league of her own. He couldn't help but wonder what the hell she was still doing with  _him_.

"So, what do you think?" she asked with quiet apprehension.

"I think I'm in love," he said in an awestruck tone.

She laughed softly. "I'm serious, James. Tell me I didn't make the biggest, most permanent mistake of my life."

He was about to confess that he  _was_ serious when her biotics flared up subtly and something happened that made him do a double take. For a brief second he caught a glimpse of intricate blue-white lines trailing throughout her tattoo. Suddenly the wings had  _feathers_.

"Um... Did Black say he was doing anything special when he was working on you?"

"No... he just said something about trying out a new ink. He said he thought I'd like the results. Actually... no," she amended, "He said he thought  _you_  would like the results now that I think about it. Why? Is there something wrong with it?" she asked anxiously.

"Not at all," he said emphatically. "Whatever that special ink was that he used, it must be biotically charged. When you amped up even that little bit, it lit up like a mass relay. It's... kinda sexy."  _More like a LOT of sexy,_ he thought. The man was a fucking artist. He needed to find Black and buy him a drink.

"What did that crazy bastard do to me?" she asked, craning her head around and trying to look at her back.

James laughed and stood her up, then walked her up the steps into her bathroom. He turned her back to the mirror on the wall and asked, "Do you have a hand mirror?" She gestured to a side shelf and he grabbed the mirror and stuck it in her hand, aimed at the mirror behind her. He gathered her thick hair into his hands and held it up out of the way of her tattoo.

"Watch. Amp up your biotics and see what happens," he said to her.

She studied his face for a second then held the mirror up and did as he asked.

"Holy shit!" she said, awestruck when she saw the results. "Thats...  _beautiful_."

She turned back to him with a look of utter astonishment, but her gaze was met by one of solid, unadulterated lust. He released her hair and moved his hands down to her hips, lifting her up and setting her on the small counter next to her bathroom sink. His mouth was suddenly hot against her lips, his tongue insistent. The mirror fell from her hand and clattered to the floor. She wrapped her legs around his hips as his large hands slid up her sides and cupped her bare breasts softly.

She gripped the hem of his shirt and urged it over his head. He threw it to the side and leaned back into her, bending his head to nuzzle at her neck while his thumbs moved in gentle circles over the tips of her breasts.

He pulled back for a second and said gruffly, "Put your hair up, Lola."

She smiled at him and reached for a hair clip. She gathered her hair up and twisted it into a thick rope, then coiled it around and secured it at the back of her head. James pulled away from the grip of her legs to kick off his boots, then bent down to remove hers. He slid his hands up the sides of her legs as he stood, then gripped her by the hips, standing her up. He turned her around in front of him and their eyes locked in the mirror. His hands slid around to the front of her waistband and worked at unfastening her pants. If he wasn't already aroused enough, he got a little harder when he started pushing her waistband down over her hips and the edge of sheer black lace became visible.

He must have made a sound, he realized, when she asked in a sultry voice, "Something wrong?"

 _Better than an elevator fantasy_ , he thought as he pushed her pants lower, revealing the swell of her creamy ass accented by the thin strap of a black lace thong.

"Not a damn thing, Lola," he said huskily. "Everything is just  _perfect._ "

He knelt down, pulling her pants down her thighs and over her feet as she lifted one foot then the other at his urging. He slid his hands back up her bare thighs and gripped her ass gently. His eyes drifted higher and he saw the lines of her tattoo light up again as he hooked his fingers under the thin lace of her panties and dragged them slowly down.

When she was naked he stood and stripped off his pants and shorts, then stepped close to her, embracing her gently and cupping her breasts again with his large hands. Their eyes met in the mirror again and she held his gaze intently. She reached one hand over her shoulder and gripped him behind the head, craning her neck around and pulling his head towards her. He leaned forward and captured her lips with his, kissing her ardently. She could feel his hard length throbbing against her backside and she ached to have him inside her.

"What are you waiting for?" she asked softly against his lips when they broke from the kiss. He shook his head gently and kissed the side of her jaw, then drifted his lips lower over her neck.

"Just want to take my time and enjoy this," he said as he watched her chest rise and fall in the mirror, her breasts swaying softly with each quick breath. They held each other's eyes as he caressed her gently, sliding his hands over her bare skin, down her stomach, fingers drifting backwards over the tops of her hips and his hands finally kneading her ass softly. He urged her to bend forward and she did, placing her hands flat on the stainless steel counter to keep her balance. Her breath quickened when she felt his fingers slip between her thighs, sliding forward to tease at her small, swollen nub for a moment.

Still holding her gaze, he spread her apart gently with his thumbs and nudged his tip at her opening. His eyes drifted to her back and he watched in fascination as the patterns of her tattoo lit up brighter.

"James," she gasped at the contact. "You're such a fucking tease."

He met her eyes again and smiled wickedly. He moved his hands to grip her hips and continued to hold his tip teasingly at her slick entrance. He watched her face as he slid slowly deeper, enjoying the expression of blissful pleasure she had. She moaned softly and her eyelids fluttered when his entire thick length was finally encompassed tightly within her hot flesh. She continued to hold his gaze in the mirror.

Keeping his eyes on hers, he leaned forward and spoke softly in her ear.

"Touch yourself," he whispered as he began to thrust inside her with deep, deliberate strokes. She obediently slipped one hand between her thighs and began moving her fingers slowly against her slick, wet flesh.

His eyes roved over the entire scene, the glowing wings on her back, the soft bounce of her breasts in the mirror with each of his deep thrusts, the expression of rapt ecstasy on her face. He slid one hand up from her hips and traced his fingertips gently around the brightly glowing edge of one of the large wings that adorned the pale skin of her back. The glowing patterns seemed to pulse brighter and he felt her climax begin to take hold. He looked up again and their eyes met. The intensity of her gaze struck him deeply.

"Lola," he said gruffly in recognition of the look he saw in her eyes, but any more detailed communication was beyond him at the moment. He slid his hands around and grasped her breasts lightly, teasing at their tips. He increased the pace of his thrusting until he heard her cry out his name harshly and her hips bucked back against his. His vision blurred as he felt the hours-long buildup of desire finally surge forth almost violently. He thrust into her with a final deep stroke and a guttural incoherent exclamation as he came.

They stood linked together gasping for breath for several seconds. He bent his head and kissed her tattooed shoulder gently but she let out a soft hiss and pulled away from him slightly. He suddenly felt like a complete idiot.

"Did he give you lotion for it or anything?" he asked softly. He pulled out of her and she let out a small sigh as their flesh parted contact. She shook her head in response to his question.

"No. Actually he said you would know what to do."

He nodded and said, "Just let me run down and get it."

He threw his clothes back on quickly while she turned and watched. Just before he was about to step out the door he came back to her and gripped her tightly around her naked waist, pulling her against his chest and kissing her deeply.

"Be right back," he said over his shoulder and her door whooshed closed behind him.

She sighed again and took a few minutes to get cleaned up, then picked up her discarded clothing and carried it to the bedroom. She found her sweat pants and threw them on, and was about to pull a shirt on over her head but stopped. She didn't think she could bear having anything against her skin just yet.

"EDI," she said abruptly. "Yes Shepard?" the AI's voice replied.

"Please adjust the security protocols for my quarters. Lieutenant Vega is to be granted free access."

"Done," the AI replied almost instantly.

And there it was. She felt a sudden surge of apprehension about whether she was making the gesture prematurely. She felt like they should at least talk about it first, but there was something about the looks he'd been giving her recently that told her the gesture wouldn't be received poorly. And he already spent most nights with her, anyway.

She grabbed a datapad from her desk and carried it to the bed. She climbed on and crawled up to her pillows, laying belly-down with one pillow clutched in her bare arms and the pad held up before her in the light from her bedside lamp.

She stared at the figures and text that scrolled by without really reading anything, her mind still churning over thoughts of him. She'd learned long ago not to let her mind wander to romantic notions of happily-ever-after with men she became involved with. It seemed that something always happened to fuck it up. Especially if the end of her last relationship was any indication. And this was no different, but something about him made it seem almost conceivable in spite of their dire circumstances. It frightened her a little bit.

Things had seemed almost too easy with him so far. She wondered if the lack of noticeable conflict was good or bad, but couldn't decide. All she really knew was that being with him felt fantastic and his presence had been one of the few bright points in an otherwise utterly daunting and depressing endeavor. She supposed if they took things to the next step it would become apparent pretty quickly where the personal conflicts would lie. She tried to tell herself the risk was worth it but was still anxious as hell.

"Fuck," she said out loud just as her door opened and he walked back in.

"You need to check your security protocols, Lola. I didn't even have to buzz to get in just now."

"I know," she said. "It's not a mistake."

He remained silent as she heard him remove his boots again at the side of her bed and pull off his shirt and pants. He crawled onto the bed next to her wearing only his shorts.

"Magical tattoo healing lotion," he said, raising a small bottle up and displaying it to her with a smile. He squirted a small amount of the creamy white lotion onto his fingertips and then gently began applying it to the inked portions of her back.

She set her datapad on the bedside table and laid her head on the pillow facing him.

"Oh that feels amazing," she sighed as the cool lotion began soothing her irritated skin.

As his delicate touch spread the lotion over her tattoo, she heard him take a deep breath. A second later he said, "So... you're giving me a key now?"

She laughed softly at his archaic reference and said, "Yeah, I guess I am. Are you okay with that?"

"Sure... just don't be surprised if you run out of hot water when you shower in the mornings."

She laughed at him and said, "James, you and I are probably the worst shower hogs on the _Normandy_. Have we ever run out of hot water?"

She had him there. "I guess not," he said. "But you have to admit, showering together has probably made us more efficient in the water-use department."

"Maybe... but if you consider the length of said showers we may actually be making things worse." She grinned at him.

"I think the treatment system can handle it. It's not like the water's going to waste."

She shifted her head on her pillow and looked at him with an amused expression.

"You're really something else, James," she said. He paused in his ministrations to her tattoo and met her eyes with a soft smile.

"Be careful, Lola, or I might start to think you have feelings for me."

"Would it be so bad if I do?" she asked quietly, her eyes searching his.

He sat quietly for a second before averting his eyes from hers and saying in a subdued tone, "No."

He resumed his application of the lotion to her back.

Her stomach clenched. She said, "I'm sensing some reservation, James."

"Lola, " he said after a brief pause to gather his thoughts. "I'm not the kindof guy who jumps into things blindly. I knew all along what the stakes were when we started this. I never thought we would end up  _here_ , though. At first I thought it was just a one-night thing. Then I just figured I was a diversion for you, and whatever we had together would end once the war was over. But... something changed in the middle of it all. And now I'm not so sure where we stand anymore."

"Where do you think we stand?" she asked, her chest tightening slightly.

"Where do  _you_  think we stand?" he replied.

"I just gave you a key," she said, softly, as though the gesture were evidence enough of where  _she_  stood, but she honestly wasn't sure herself.

"But what does that mean, Shepard?" he asked and she drew back abruptly at his use of her name, turning onto her side to meet his eyes directly. Maybe she was right and the gesture had been premature.

"What do you want it to mean, James?" she asked, studying his face intently.

He looked back at her with a defeated expression. He'd been going through this conversation in his head for so long he was no longer sure if he had the right answer. Finally he just blurted out the first thing that came into his head.

"Fuck, Lola, I want it to mean that you want me here always, that you're letting me into your  _life_  and not just your bed. And as unlikely as the possibility probably is, I want it to mean that I can have you in  _my_  life to the same degree. Lola, if we go down this road, you should know I'm all in. And if you let me in, I'm never letting you go."

She propped herself on an elbow and reached out a hand, laying it on his forearm where he sat in consternation next to her, the small bottle of lotion still gripped loosely in one hand.

"Don't fucking distract me," he said, brushing her hand away. "You haven't said anything yet and I think you still need to do some talking in this little conversation we're having." He waved his hand between them in emphasis of his statement.

She'd never been very good at articulating her feelings and this particular moment was no different than any of the others. She rested back on one elbow, more conscious of the proximity of her sore skin to the bed behind her than of her bare breasts to the man in front of her, but his eyes stayed locked on hers.

Suddenly becoming more conscious of her exposed flesh, she rolled onto her belly again and clutched her pillow in her arms, burying her face for a second against the soft fabric before turning her head to face him and speaking in a quavering voice.

"I'm lousy at this, James. I don't know what I'm supposed to say or do right now to make you understand where I'm coming from."

"Just… talk to me, Lola," he said desperately.

Silence stretched between them. After awhile he finally let out a long breath and began applying lotion to her tattoo again.

She sighed at the comforting contact of his fingers on her sore skin.

After several more moments she took a deep breath and finally began to speak in a soft voice.

"I just want you, James. I don't care about the past or the future or anything else when we're together. What we're doing... outside this room... is for the future of the galaxy. But what I do for myself... whatever we have together... I can't do or feel anything that isn't just for this moment. Sure, I have this abstract wish for a future in which we both manage to survive this godforsaken war, but I can't count on that. If that happens? I'll be all in right there with you, and God do I want that more than you can believe."

She paused for a second and took a deep breath before continuing, "But before I can say I'll love you forever, I need to believe there will be a forever to share with you."

His hand had paused from rubbing lotion on her back and he'd grown still while she spoke. He felt his heart begin pounding harder in his chest near the end of her words, especially the part where she'd said "...I'll love you forever..." He took a deep breath as the remainder of her words sank in. It wasn't the response he would have hoped for, but somehow it was the perfect response coming from her.

"Fair enough," he said softly and bent his head to lay a soft kiss against an un-tattooed section of her shoulder.

* * *

She fell into a contented sleep with his strong arms wrapped around her bare shoulders, his legs and hips nestled against hers, and his chest held at a considerate distance from her sore back.

She awoke sometime later to the feel of his large hand teasing at her breasts and his lips hot against the skin of her neck. She sighed softly at the pleasurable sensations and pressed her behind backwards against him.

His hand drifted down her stomach and slid beneath the waistband of her sweat pants. She heard his soft moan in her ear when his fingertips found her already slick with wetness. He teased at her until she began to whimper softly. He withdrew his hand and she felt him sit up behind her, then leave the bed for a second. She started to turn over but remembered abruptly why she wasn't sleeping on her back.

She felt his weight return to the bed behind her and his lips against her bare flesh again. He trailed soft kisses down her side and over her hip as he slid her pants down past her bare feet. He drifted his hand up her inner thigh as he slid back up behind her and she shifted her upper leg in response, giving him access. He teased his fingers at her flesh again briefly before she felt him move closer to her.

She gasped in surprise as he drove his thick length into her with one quick stroke.

"A little overeager aren't we?" she asked with a soft exhale of breath as he began slowly thrusting into her.

"Lola," he whispered in her ear as his arms wrapped around her again and one hand slid down between her thighs. She moaned when he made contact and began to delicately work her eager flesh.

"I decided I don't want to waste any time. Forever might never happen. I need you to know how I feel now."

Her mind was fuzzy with the euphoria his touch had elicited, one hand teasing at her breast, the other between her thighs, and his thick, hard flesh buried deep inside her.

His deep voice drifted into her ear, taking hold in her mind over the other distracting sensations he was bombarding her with.

"I want you, Lola. I want a future with you. I want forever with you, even if it only happens in this room. But I want to do everything to make sure we can have forever anywhere we want."

His thrusting and his caresses were making it difficult for her to concentrate on his words, but she heard him and felt a surge of emotion at the implications of what he said. But it seemed he wasn't finished yet.

"But I need you to promise me something, Lola," he continued, his voice rough with emotion against her ear. "Promise me you won't get yourself killed. Because forever would suck without you."

She moaned softly, unable to make a more coherent response. His deft touch against her flesh threw her into a passionate frenzy and she writhed against him as she climaxed. She felt his teeth clamp down on her shoulder and his hand moved to grip her thigh, holding it gently aloft as he plunged into her in a final series of deep thrusts, grunting against the smooth skin of her bare shoulder. His orgasm erupted suddenly and he cried out her name, then lay gasping against her shoulder.

"I promise," she said, turning her head slightly to look back at him. "But only if you make the same promise. Forever would suck without you, too, James."


	8. Happy Birthday, Lola

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This short chapter was originally written as a filler on April 11, 2012, which happened to be Shepard's birthday.

"So, I got you a present," he said from the sofa, a bit anxiously. This was the first gift-giving occasion they'd had together so far.

"Oh yeah?" she asked from her desk. "I like presents. Let me guess... it's in that big box you stuck in the corner over there, thinking I wouldn't notice."

He laughed, "You don't miss a thing, do you?"

"That's why I'm the Commander and you're the Lieutenant, James," she said. He could hear the amusement in her voice.

"What's the occasion?" she asked.

He was confused for a second. Had he gotten the date wrong?

"It's... your birthday. Isn't it?" he asked cautiously.

She checked her calendar. No shit... he was right. She'd been so preoccupied with the war she hadn't even realized what day it was. She'd survived another year. Go figure.

"So... how many is this now?" she heard him ask.

She gave up on her work and strolled barefoot down to sit next to him. He wrapped his strong arm around her and pulled her close, handing her his tumbler of whiskey.

"You always know the way to my heart, James," she said as she took a sip, then answered his question.

"Thirty-three, I think. But maybe it's only thirty-one if you don't count the two years I was dead." She turned to look into his eyes.

"So I've been dating an older woman all this time? I had no idea," he said with a studly smirk as he met her gaze.

She laughed at him and punched him gently in the ribs. "Not  _that_  much older. There's only, what... five years between us? Five years is nothing. Besides, the older we get, the less it matters. You just wait, when you're ninety and I'm ninety-five… or ninety-three... it won't seem like such a big deal."

"Maybe not, but I'll still know I'm banging an older woman," he said, sliding his hand down her side and squeezing her hip. He lowered his head and captured her lips in his, reveling in their softness and the way she always eagerly opened up to him, letting his tongue in to slide against hers. But she pulled back suddenly, much to his disappointment.

"Don't I get to open my present?" she asked.

He paused for a second in surprise, then laughed softly and stood up. He came back to her with the box a moment later and set it on her lap. She ripped the ribbon and paper off and he almost giggled to himself at the excitement in her eyes.

"What?" she asked, catching his entertained stare and pausing before she lifted the lid off the box.

"Nothing... I've never seen you this excited about something. You're like a little kid on Christmas."

"James, you've been teasing me with this thing for a fucking week. You have no idea what kind of torture you've put me through, wondering what's in here."

"So..." he said, nodding his head at the box that sat still unopened in her lap. "Open it, already if you're so eager."

She lifted the lid off the box and stared in rapt wonder at its contents.

"She's gorgeous!" she gasped, lifting the shiny Tempest submachine gun out of the foam nest it rested in. She threw the empty box to the floor and held the gun up in her hands, hefting it gently and testing the weight. She could already tell it was far superior to the tired old SMG she'd been using for months already. Her heart did a little flip-flop at his thoughtfulness. She found the box and set it gently back in its nest and closed it up with a small sigh. She almost regretted now that it would be a couple days until their next mission when she would actually get to use it.

She stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I love it. Thank you," she said, giving him a huge kiss.

He was struck by her mood suddenly. He hadn't seen her appear truly  _happy_  about anything since he'd known her, but if he had to describe how she seemed now, that's the word he would have used. Had  _he_ caused this? He suddenly had the strongest conviction that if he had, he would do anything in his power to keep her this way, or at least make sure he drew this reaction out of her as often as possible.

"What is it?" she asked, pulling back from him when she sensed his reaction.

"Nothing. I'm just glad you liked it," he said softly and his hands drifted down her back, softly gripping her backside. She leaned into him again with another softly murmured thank you and kissed him more deeply than before, her lips hot against his mouth and her hands slipping beneath his shirt and gliding against the soft skin of his back.

"Lola," he groaned when he felt her hips press against his. He bent over abruptly and lifted her up in his arms. He carried her the short distance to the bed and laid her down, then climbed onto the bed next to her, nestling his lips against hers again, his tongue teasing to be let in. Her lips parted and their tongues teased at each other, then slid together when his lips connected with hers more thoroughly.

He trailed his hand down her side, pausing at her waistband. He pushed her pajama pants down her hips and slid a hand up her inner thigh, finding her soft and wet and enticingly hot. She let out a soft moan against his mouth when he began stroking her gently. He drifted his lips over her jaw and down to her neck, enjoying the soft ecstatic sounds she made in his ear as his fingers worked at her.

"James," she gasped after a minute. "Oh god, you're going to make me come."

He rumbled in her ear, "That's kindof the idea, Lola."

"But... I want you..." she gasped suddenly when he thrust a couple digits deep inside her wet depths. "I wan't you inside me."

He felt her hands ineffectually pawing at his clothing, one hand gripping at his waistband and failing to unfasten his button, the other pulling desperately at his shirt. It amused him somewhat that she was too addled by that point to actually undress him. He loved that he could affect her to that degree.

He whispered in her ear, "Don't worry, I'll be there soon enough. This moment is for you. Happy birthday, Lola." He nuzzled gently at her neck.

She let out a series of sharp gasps and her hips bucked against his hand as her climax hit. He gripped her pelvis with his large hand, sinking his fingers into her deeply as the spasms played out, rubbing his thick palm against her while she writhed beneath him.

They lay for several seconds as she caught her breath, his nose pressed against her cheek and his strong arm resting gently on her stomach. His hand was still inches away from the depths his fingers had just inhabited.

She took a deep breath and said, "How 'bout now?"

He laughed against her neck and murmured, "Now works for me." He stood up and stripped, catching her eye when she'd tossed her shirt and pants to the side. He caught that same glimmer of joy he so rarely saw in her eyes and felt a little surge of pride that he'd made her look that way.

The gift had definitely been worth it, he thought as he buried himself inside her and she wrapped her legs around him.


	9. You Can Thank Me Later

The shuttle bounced and jostled through a patch of turbulence as they flew away from Rannoch back to the _Normandy_. Shepard began methodically stripping off the armor from her upper body. It had been as hot as an oven down there. It was a dry heat, but still, she couldn't imagine having to live in that environment, no matter how beautiful it was. But she knew it was still "home" to the Quarians even if most of them had never set foot on the planet, and she supposed the desire to reclaim it had been so ingrained in them as a race that they would still love it no matter what. For all she knew their physiology was uniquely suited to being able to enjoy 120-degree heat. Hers wasn't, but she knew the yearning for hard soil.

Living on a ship was not exactly idyllic. Maybe one day she would make it back to Earth; to that cabin by the lake that her parents owned that she'd only ever seen in pictures, but that she thought about frequently lately. She was no stranger to exile, even if her own had been voluntary. And she was no stranger to yearning for a place to call home. She just had to make sure there was a home for her to go back to when this was all over.

It had been a bittersweet victory for her and her team, but a victory nonetheless. It had actually gone far better than she could have ever hoped, but yet again the triumph had come at a cost. Legion had made his choice for the sake of his race, and in his final moment he had clearly gifted the other Geth with his own ideals. Seeing the Geth and Quarians make peace had somehow made every loss thus far seem worth it. It drove home to her that this wasn't for nothing, what she was doing. Seeing the look of peace on Tali's bare face as she gazed out over the stark, beautiful landscape had been the icing on the cake.

She finally unzipped the thin zipper in the front of her skin-tight webbed body armor and pulled her arms out of the sleeves, leaving the elastic layer of armor dangling around her waist. Her sheer, white alliance tank was left as the only fabric covering her sweat-drenched skin. She leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes, enjoying the subtle drift of cool air over her body. She became oblivious to her surroundings, letting the low hum of the shuttle's engine and the blow of the air across her skin lull her into relaxation. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, feeling the tension seep out of her bit by bit.

James rested on the seat across from her and finished stripping out of his heavy outer armor, finally removing the thin body armor that covered his upper body. The grey alliance logo of the tank he still wore was stretched to the point of distortion across his wide chest. He looked across the shuttle at her and almost groaned at how beautiful she looked at that moment, still flushed and sweaty from the heat of the Quarian's reclaimed homeworld. He'd seen this battle-worn version of her, but she'd never let her guard down this completely after a fight before. He wondered if it was because of the company or if she just no longer cared what her teammates thought. Or it could just be her small way of celebrating what had been one hell of a victory.

They'd defeated another Reaper in a spectacular battle that he had to admit had scared the shit out of him. He had been angry that she hadn't even given him the opportunity to object to her decision to stay back to man the targeting laser. His jaw was still sore from how hard he'd been clenching his teeth while he watched the Reaper's bright beam blast swaths of fire at her over and over, which she only just managed to dodge until the Reaper was finally destroyed. But watching her broker peace between the two previously warring races had left him too stunned to hold on to the anger for long. His head still spun at the recollection of the diplomacy Shepard had deftly employed to not only achieve a cease-fire, but actual reconciliation between the Quarians and the Geth. Legion's final gesture was no small contribution, he realized, and felt a small surge of regret over not having known him longer.

He glanced to the figure on the seat beside her and saw Javik leaning back with his eyes closed, his hands resting on the seat beside his legs. He seemed to be asleep, and James noticed his nostrils flaring at regular intervals. He'd wondered why she'd chosen to bring the Prothean along with them on this particular mission. He was a fine soldier, but James couldn't get past the guy's attitude that everyone else was somehow beneath him. He supposed she had her reasons for bringing him. She always had her reasons.

His eyes shifted back to her. She was coated in a light sheen of sweat and tendrils of her dark hair had come loose and clung to her face and neck, a couple dark wisps fluttering lightly in the cool air blowing from the shuttle's vents.

His gaze shifted lower and lingered on her chest as it rose and fell with her shallow breaths. His eyes followed a small droplet of sweat as it traveled down her chest, its shimmering path continuing between her breasts. The white alliance tank left very little to the imagination and she wore no other undergarment. He knew any additional layers would have impeded the application of Medi-Gel from her body armor if she'd become injured in battle, and he suddenly had a much stronger appreciation for Alliance armor regulations.

He was mesmerized by the outline of her hard, pink nipples pressing against the sheer fabric of the shirt in reaction to the cool air blowing over them. He licked his lips involuntarily and when his eyes shifted back up he realized she was watching him.

She smiled softly when his eyes met hers, but she said nothing. He noticed a subtle heat building in her gaze and her lips parted slightly, the tip of her tongue gliding across the inside of her lower lip. She let one hand drift up her torso from where it had been resting on her thigh and she gripped her breast through the soft, damp fabric of her tank top.

He felt his erection stretch against his body armor and was idly thankful that he'd removed the rigid plates of his outer armor already. He couldn't keep his eyes off her.

James swallowed hard as he watched her clutch her breast softly and pinch her nipple between thumb and forefinger. She gripped her other breast and teased at both tips through her shirt. He followed the path of one hand in fascination as she slipped it down beneath the waistband of the flexible underlayer of her body armor. He could see the rise and fall of her chest quickening as she moved her fingers slowly between her thighs.

Unable to restrain himself, he let one hand drift to his groin and gripped his own rock-hard flesh through the fabric of his body armor, squeezing gently. He saw her lips twitch into a small smile and she nodded at him ever so slightly, a glint of challenge in her eyes. He shifted in his seat, tilted his hips forward slightly, and pulled the elastic of his waistband down slowly in front, watching her expression intently.

Shepard bit her lower lip when he sprang free of the confining fabric. He gripped himself solidly in one large fist and stroked once up his length. She moaned softly at the sight.

"Shhh," he said, cutting his eyes to their sleeping teammate and giving her a conspiratorial smile.

He saw the movement of her hand quicken beneath the fabric covering her sex and began to stroke himself quicker in response. He tilted his head back against the back of the seat, watching her from hooded eyes.

They were both nearly oblivious to the sounds of the shuttle's engines powering down. There was a sharp jerk followed by the familiar  _cachunk_  sound as the Kodiak settled in the docking bay of the _Normandy_.

Steve's voice announcing they were safely docked yanked them both back to reality abruptly and James and Shepard simultaneously jerked their hands up and sat up straighter, adjusting their clothes and occupying their hands with anything besides what they'd just been doing. James held his helmet in his lap, piled atop his chestplate and the rest of his armor and grinned at her. She let out a frustrated little huff at him. He could tell she'd been close. She was still mildly flushed and her chest was rising and falling with deep, quick breaths.

Javik stirred and opened his eyes, then said in a tone of idle interest, "Human mating rituals are very different now than in my cycle. They used to involve more bodily contact and exchange of fluids. And neither of you found satisfaction from the act. The fact that humans are even capable of delaying gratification has convinced me that I should reevaluate the qualities of your race. Perhaps you are not so inferior as I believed."

Shepard's head swiveled around to look at the prothean so fast James was afraid she'd given herself whiplash.

"I thought you were asleep," she said, her voice husky.

He blinked at her. "I was merely meditating on our 'victory'," he said with a trace of sarcasm.

"And?" she asked curious what, if any, conclusions he'd drawn.

"I have never known peace. It is but an abstract concept to me. That it would even be possible between two races that had been in such conflict for centuries is fascinating. I still do not believe it can last. I do not trust the machines."

Shepard glared at him with a different kind of frustration than she'd displayed a moment earlier. "The Geth proved today that they're willing to co-exist peacefully. It was a  _huge_  victory, no matter what you think."

"Perhaps I have underestimated  _you_ , Shepard," he said. "If it had not been for your intervention, it is clear that peace would have eluded the two parties. You are as driven in your ideals and as formidable as an Avatar from my cycle. I hope you were correct in letting the machines persist."

She wasn't sure whether he had just paid her a compliment or not, finally shaking her head and standing to exit the shuttle several paces behind James.

She deposited her armor on the bench near the exit, resolving to come back and tend to it after the mission debrief. She was about to head to the elevator when a large hand gripped her arm and swung her around. She found herself crushed tightly against James' thick chest as his mouth devoured hers hungrily, his tongue hot and penetrating. She felt her earlier burning need hit her again with a vengeance and was only tangentially aware that he'd lifted her feet off the ground and carried her between two stacks of heavy crates, pushing her back against the hard synthetic wall of the large boxes.

"James," she gasped when his mouth moved lower, his tongue teasing down the sensitive skin of her throat. She felt one large hand snake under her tank top, cupping one breast.

"Shhh. I have to have you now, Lola, or I'll fucking go nuts," he whispered huskily, his lips tight against her ear. The feel of his breath on her skin set her on fire as much as his hands and mouth had.

"The shuttle bay isn't exactly empty right now. Someone might hear us," she whispered the objection with a weak laugh. Fuck, she wanted him now, too, and damn the consequences.

"So quit talking," he commanded, silencing her with his mouth.

He shoved her shirt up, uncovering her breasts, their tips hard in the cool air surrounding them, her skin puckered with gooseflesh. He bent his head and flicked his tongue over them while he slid one hand past the waistband of her armor.

"Damn, Lola, you're so wet," he whispered and her breath hitched when she felt him slide a finger deep inside her. A second later his hands were pushing her armor down over her hips with savage insistence while her own hands desperately clutched at his garments, attempting to gain access.

She managed to pull his shirt off over his head and was kissing his neck with her hand halfway down his pants while his hands slid deliciously all over her exposed skin. Without any warning he suddenly spun her around and she found her face and bare breasts pressed up against the cold plastic of the crate. James' fingers twined with hers, holding both her hands against the crate above her head, his entire body pressed against her from behind. His lips were hot against her neck and she could feel his hard cock through the roughly woven fabric layer of his armor where it pressed against her ass.

"This is what you get for teasing me like that, Lola," he whispered in her ear. He shifted his grip on her hands so that both her wrists were gripped in one large fist above her head and he could use the other hand to touch her. He slid his hand slowly down over her side, his fingertips drifting over the side of her bare breast, trailing over its tip, and further down until it rested gently on her naked hip.

"You were doing a little teasing of your own, James," she retorted in a breathy whisper against the wall of the crate he had her solidly pressed against. She bucked against him slightly, testing his hold on her. He had her trapped between his hard body and the side of the cargo crate and her pants were bound up around her knees. She wasn't going anywhere. Not that she wanted to.

James slid his hand around her hip to the front, his fingers slipping between her thighs. He found her small nub of pleasure swollen and throbbing and rubbed his fingers over it in small, slow circles. He brushed his lips over the delicate skin of her neck, the taste of her dried sweat salty on his tongue. He teased her into a frenzy, enjoying the feel of her body squirming against him but unable to escape. Every time her ass rubbed against his groin it got a little more difficult for him to focus on the task at hand.

He drew his hand away abruptly when her breathing began to quicken in a familiar way. She gasped in frustration.

"Fuck," she whispered. "I hate you right now, James."

He laughed quietly against her neck, and nipped gently at her skin with his teeth.

"Tell me you want it Lola," he said in a deep whisper, his breath hot against her ear. He reached his hand back down between her thighs and flicked at her flesh softly with his fingertips, enjoying the way she twitched slightly beneath him each time. He ground his hips hard against her ass to emphasize his request.

"Please, James," she gasped out as quietly as she could. "Please, please,  _please_ , just fuck me already."

"Well, since you put it  _that_  way," he whispered. He pushed the close-fitting elastic waist of his body armor down again, releasing his throbbing length against her backside. He heard her breathing quicken when his hot, bare flesh drifted against her skin and she seemed to quiver in anticipation.

He thrust into her to the hilt and thought he might come right there at how intensely good she felt after all the teasing. She was so hot and wet and he felt her muscles clamp down tightly around him like she planned to keep him there. Maybe there was something to be said for delayed gratification, he thought. Her tattoo flared up brightly in front of him and he dimly noticed she'd buried her face against her upraised arm and was biting her own flesh in an attempt to suppress her cry of pleasure.

He began pumping into her slowly at first, then faster, unable to contain himself. He slid his hand over her hip and between her thighs again, working at her slick flesh expertly, knowing how close she probably was to climax. He wasn't wrong. He felt her begin to spasm under his fingertips after just a few seconds, and her muscles clenched around him at the same time. She let out a sharp gasp and then a small whimper and bucked back against him. His own orgasm hit him with the force of a charging Krogan and he had to bury his face against her shoulder, biting down on the fabric of her shirt to avoid crying out. He slammed into her with several violent thrusts as he came.

When the waves of ecstasy subsided, he stood leaning against her, taking slow shallow breaths for several seconds, unable to move or even think.

"Um, James?" he heard her whisper over her shoulder after a moment.

He grunted at her in response, still unable to move. His free hand rested on her bare hip and his thumb idly caressed her skin.

"As nice as this feels, being squashed between you and a cargo crate, it might be more comfortable to do the snuggling part in bed, don't you think?"

He briefly registered that he might be drooling on her shoulder.

He lifted his head up and delicately wiped the wetness from her shoulder, then whispered back, "Yeah... yeah. Bed. Mmm, bed with you definitely."

He let go of her wrists and withdrew from her unsteadily. Holy shit had he just been thrown for a loop. When he finished adjusting his clothing he saw that she'd also managed to put herself back together somehow, even though she looked about as dazed as he currently felt.

He gave her one last glance as they were about to walk back to the elevator and pulled her back suddenly by the elbow. She gave him a confused look when he reached up and pulled the pins from her hair, letting her dark waves down.

"Trust me," he said with a smile. "You didn't want to go out in public the way it was after... that."

She ran her fingers through her thick locks and gave him a small smile of gratitude. They started to step towards the elevator again when she said, "Wait, didn't you have a shirt on a minute ago?" He paused and looked back behind them, located his tank top, and pulled it on over his head.

"Thanks," he said. She shrugged and they strode together as nonchalantly as they could towards the elevator.

When they passed by the bulkhead into view of the main area of the shuttle bay, they heard quiet clapping. They stood like a pair of pyjaks caught in a spotlight, staring at Steve and Kaidan who were both leaning against the weapons bench with a matching pair of shit-eating grins on their faces as they quietly applauded.

Shepard glared at them and crossed her arms in a Commanderly fashion.

"What the hell?" James said indignantly. "Were you two _pendejos_ spying on us? Pervs."

Steve shook his head slowly and sighed, giving James a long-suffering look. "Let's just say that there's an art to  _quiet_  sex, and neither of you are very adept at it. The quiet part I mean. The  _sex_ , on the other hand, I give a 10 for creativity, considering the location, and also for satisfaction judging from the looks on both your faces and some of the noises that were coming from back there. James, you of all people should know that the shuttle bay has fantastic acoustics."

"Fuck off, Esteban," James said as he followed Shepard into the elevator.

They heard laughter as the doors were closing and Steve's voice said, "I really don't know if we could top that."

Kaidan's voice replied in a suggestive tone, "We'll never know unless we try."

* * *

James stepped off the elevator on the crew deck to change and shower, leaving her with the promise that he would be up afterwards. His primary thought was that he needed at least 30 solid minutes away from her to cool down.

Shepard was of a similar mind. They'd spent a majority of their free time together recently and she was looking forward to even a small amount of solitude for a change. It was late, so she could postpone the mission debrief until the morning. That gave her a few minutes to clean up and check her messages at least.

She was settling at her desk after her shower and going through her messages when Joker's voice came over the comm.

"Um... Commander? I think there's something you need to see. Check your messages when you get a chance."

"That's just what I was doing, Joker. Thanks."

She quickly scanned the list of new messages and selected Joker's from the top. His message popped up on her screen:  _Just thought you might want to keep this, since it seemed rather personal. Don't worry, I already scrubbed it from Normandy's public video log. Rad tattoo by the way, I had no idea they could light up like that!_

Confused, she opened the attachment and was greeted with a bird's-eye view of the little tryst she and James had just had in the shuttle bay. She watched in fascination as the scene played out in silence on her terminal.

"Joker?" she asked cautiously after watching for a couple minutes.

"Yeah Commander?" his disembodied voice replied.

"Who has seen this?"

"Well..." he hesitated. " _Me_ , of course. And EDI. She might have a few questions for you later, by the way, so be warned. Garrus might have seen part of it - he came in just before I sent it to you. And probably Liara, but you'd have to ask her. She seems to just  _know_  things somehow, y'know? And you should know, that spot actually has a pretty good vantage point from engineering, so who knows if anyone caught a glimpse from up there, but it's unlikely they saw the vid."

As he rattled off the list she felt a flush rising up her chest.

"Thanks, Joker," she said in a hushed tone, her head buzzing with... what? Mortification? She wasn't an exhibitionist, but she didn't have an overdeveloped sense of modesty either. You couldn't when you were crammed to the gills on a ship with dozens of other soldiers. You got used to having to do certain things in close quarters with other people, but she was out of practice after several years of having her own space. Especially if Steve's comment was any indication. Not that she'd ever had a lot of practice having sex in shuttle bays, of course.

"Happy to be of assistance," Joker replied in a businesslike voice.

"Oh, and Joker?"

"Yeah Commander?"

"You'd better not have kept a copy of this or I'm shooting your brittle-boned ass out the airlock."

"Um, no worries there. Lieutenant Vega already threatened me with gross bodily injury. The force of his voice when he said it was enough to crack a rib or two, I think."

"Wait, you sent this to James, too?" she asked. "I thought you said nobody else had seen it... well, besides  _half the goddamn crew_."

"Of course I sent it to him. For the same reason I sent it to you. I thought you'd both like to keep it, for... youknow, posterity, or -ahem-  _whatever_. Not to mention if he found out I'd had it and  _didn't_ send it to him? Did I mention the cracked ribs?"

She was silent for a moment trying to decide how she felt about that.

Joker's voice came over the comm once more with a smug laugh, "You can thank me later, Commander."

She replayed the video and was still watching it with rapt fascination several minutes later when James came in. She hurriedly switched to view a random report.

"Catching a little evening entertainment, Lola?"

Shit.

"I don't know what you mean, James," she said evasively.

"You know, I think I have a new favorite vid," he said casually.

She switched off her terminal and stood up, then turned and fixed him with a steady gaze.

In a pained voice, she said, "James, I'm the  _Commander_  on this ship. I can't let myself get caught like...  _that_." She pointed towards her terminal. "Can you imagine how damaging it could be to my authority if more of the crew had seen it? Not to mention  _my_  superiors. Fuck!"

He was taken aback by her distress. It hadn't occurred to him in the least that this would be anything more than a fun story for them to laugh about together. It suddenly hit him that he  _had_ just dragged his CO behind a pile of crates in the shuttle bay and fucked her silly. His CO. And he hadn't exactly asked for permission. And he had pretty much made her beg for it on top of that. He was stunned for a moment as the conflicting thoughts tumbled through his mind. His lizard brain was replete with self-congratulation as though she were a mere conquest, while the more reasonable part of his mind was repeatedly kicking him, telling him he should have stopped to fucking  _think_  before making her do that, no matter how soul-shatteringly incredible the sex had been.

Part of him wanted to retort that she'd encouraged him in the shuttle, but he realized she wasn't reprimanding him for what had happened, just for his reaction over this unfortunate development.

"Hey," he said gently and stepped towards her. He started to reach out to take her in his arms but hesitated at the look she was still giving him. That look that said clearly "I'm the Commander and you're the Lieutenant, so stay in line, soldier." Crossing that line was what had gotten them into this situation to begin with. But he also saw the conflict in her eyes that mirrored his own to a degree. She had enjoyed it, he could tell, and now she had to deal with the consequences. Finally some other part of his brain said "fuck it" and closed the distance.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. As she sank into him and he felt her sigh against his shoulder he realized it hadn't been a part of his brain that had prompted him to cross the line but something just slightly south; a part of him that grew softer the more time he spent with her, contrary to the inclination of other treacherous body parts he was cursing at this very moment.

"We can't do that again," she said wistfully. "No matter how good it was."

"Maybe not. Or maybe we just need to check for cameras - or an audience - next time."

He felt her body shake with laughter against him and she pulled back to look into his eyes. "You look much bigger on camera, you know."

He blinked at her for a second, then his brows drew together. Suddenly it seemed to occur to her how her statement had probably sounded to him.

"No! I mean  _you_ , not... " she gestured to his pants. "I never realized what a hulk you were until I caught an aerial view of you - your body - next to me."

He looked thoughtful for a moment, "Do you think maybe your rank has affected your perspective?"

"Maybe..." she said. "What about you, did I seem... I don't know... smaller to you?"

"Hmm... it was hard to tell, actually. There was this giant mass of studly muscle blocking my view for most of it."

"Huh," she said, looking at him with a slow smile drawing at the corners of her mouth. "Maybe we should watch it again and see what we think."


	10. Tendrils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where the story really strays from ME3 events. The events of this chapter reference ME1 but are otherwise completely fabricated for the sake of my ideal ending (and hopefully will open more doors for interesting, um, intimate encounters). Hopefully I'm not making it too weird, but just a warning, it does get a little weird. There were sooo many places I could have gone with this chapter, but chose to keep it relatively simple and not weird(er). I deliberately kept it light on expository details because I think the events that occur are more important than explaining what they mean, but I fear I may have still strayed a bit into meta territory here and there. I will try to answer the questions in a more gradual fashion over the next couple chapters.

Halfway back from the Perseus Veil, she heard Traynor's voice over the comm as she sat at the desk in her quarters. "Commander. EDI's picking up a distress signal coming from the Theseus system. Would you like me to look into it?"

Theseus system. Feros. Shepard remembered the last time she'd been there.

"There shouldn't be anyone there, Traynor. All the colonists were evacuated and all the ExoGeni scientists that I know of have already left the system and are busy working on the Crucible project."

Something nagged at her, however. This might be worth investigating, she thought.

"Let's check it out," she said, rising from her desk and heading to the CIC.

* * *

"The atmosphere might be fine, but I want everyone - except EDI - in fully filtered breathing apparatus while we're down there," she commanded from her seat in the shuttle. She wasn't taking any unnecessary risks if her suspicions were correct.

James sensed her apprehensive mood and wondered what the hell she was expecting.

"Lola, I think you have more to share with us before we land down there."

EDI took the liberty of filling in the blanks. "Shepard is likely concerned that the Thorian that previously controlled Zhu's Hope is not, in fact, dead. If that is the case, there may be organic spores in the air that the creature could use to control us. That is why she chose me to accompany the team on the planet, since I don't actually breathe and would be immune to the effects of the spores if they exist."

"The  _Thorian_?" he asked, incredulous. "You're not  _actually_  thinking of recruiting it, are you?"

She gazed at him impassively. She didn't seem surprised that he'd perceived her intentions.

"It's complicated, James. It's an ancient sentient creature that somehow managed to survive the Reapers in the previous cycle. Saren wanted it dead for some reason the last time I was here. If the creature is still alive, I have to believe it remembers me and can be reasoned with. It had the Prothean Cipher, so I have to take the chance that it has other answers as well."

He laughed to himself. If she could convince the Rachni to join their cause, she could probably convince a sentient plant to do it, too.

He shook his head at her and asked, "But didn't you already try to  _kill_  it? I don't know if I'd reason with you under those circumstances. Anyway, how the hell is a plant going to help us beat the Reapers?"

"If I'd told you a Thresher Maw could take one down single-handedly two months ago would you have believed me?" she asked in response.

"Well, it  _was_  the mother of all thresher maws," he retorted.

"And the Thorian is the mother of all... sentient plants. It has knowledge going back fifty-thousand years. Likely longer than that. It might be the only living creature in the galaxy as old as the Reapers. If it's still alive, I can't pass up the opportunity to find out if it can help us. You know that."

He clenched his jaw, his stomach roiling at the possibilities of all the things that could go wrong. Yes, he knew she was right and he wasn't about to argue with her, but that didn't mean he had to like the risk she was taking. Fuck, he knew there would be a price to becoming as close as they had, but he hadn't expected the conflicting emotions to affect him so much.

"James," she said sternly, breaking through his thoughts. "If you have a problem with my decision you can sit this mission out."

 _Fuck that,_  he thought. "No. I've got your back, Lola."

One corner of her mouth quirked up into that special sideways smile that she always seemed to reserve just for him, and he had to resist the urge to lean in and kiss her. Instead, he just returned the smile and put on his helmet.

* * *

When the shuttle landed at the top of the abandoned tower of the ancient Prothean city, Shepard expected to have to navigate ruins as she had on her previous visit. She was surprised to find that the landing bays of the previous Zhu's Hope colony were pristinely restored, as was the receiving area.

"This is just a little weird, don't you think?" James asked, stating the obvious.

"Yeah. Just stay sharp."

"Do you have some instinct or insight here?" James blurted out in a challenging tone. "Because now would be the time to tell us, youknow."

Shepard tensed at his confrontational tone. "James, if there was anything for you to know I'd have told you already. Be quiet for a bit, okay?"

She felt guilty for the condescending tone she'd used, but she knew he'd take it out of her hide later. If there was one perk to their relationship she could count on that was it. She knew he was keeping score, too, from the little twitch of his left eyebrow as he glared back at her. It was his usual tell and it made her smile that she could so easily recognize it now.

"Shepard, the distress signal seems to originate from the ground floor of this structure," EDI said.

As they explored the top of the tower and reached the elevator down to the lower floors she began to feel an almost imperceptible pull at her mind. She checked the seals of her helmet, but they were sealed tight.

"What the hell?" James said in bewilderment. "Can you feel that? It's like a weird pressure inside my head."

"EDI, are you getting any unusual readings that could explain this?"

EDI's optics flickered briefly before she answered. "There seems to be a massive heat signature at the bottom of this tower and it has a very subtle gravitational field associated with it. It is only speculation but it is possible that a sentient organic creature as large as the Thorian may exert a kind of psychic pull on other sentient organics, regardless of whether it has access to their respiratory systems."

The Thorian was still alive. And they could  _sense_ it.

* * *

They descended through multiple levels of the ancient Prothean tower, most of which seemed to have been completely restored, which puzzled them until they caught a glimpse of the large, insect-like creatures that were skittering about in a workmanlike fashion on one floor.

"Were those Keepers?" James asked, gazing through the glass of the lift they were in.

"They did appear to be the same creatures that maintain the Citadel," EDI said.

"But there were dozens of them," James said. "I've never seen that many of them in one place. And why the hell are they  _here_?"

"I don't know," Shepard said softly. James turned to look at her and their eyes met briefly. She knew - or at least suspected - something. Clearly it wasn't something she was willing to share, however.

The lift continued to descend for an interminable amount of time, the strange pull becoming stronger the lower they went. Finally they came to a stop and the door opened.

They exited into what appeared to be a huge atrium at the ground floor of one of the colossal Prothean-built towers of what used to be a thriving city on the planet of Feros. There were massive flowering vines climbing all the walls, and planters and flowerbeds filled with intricately twisted trees reaching up to the light that streamed in the large windows that surrounded them. Motes of pollen from the large blooms floated lazily in the sunbeams and they could hear the soothing sound of falling water from somewhere ahead of them.

It was beautiful and strangely peaceful, but there was still an urgent tension that psychically pulled at both James and Shepard. Shepard shook her head to try to clear it of the odd sensation.

The slender figure of an Asari dressed in nondescript armor approached them.

"Shiala?" Shepard asked, incredulous when she recognized the figure. She paused for a split second then abruptly raised her gun, leveling it at the woman's head.

"You're not Shiala, are you," she demanded.

The other woman stood very still several yards from their group. She gazed intently at both Shepard and James, but seemed to ignore EDI entirely.

"You are perceptive for one that scurries," she said, her voice resonating oddly. Her words seemed to be simultaneously hitting their ears as well as reverberating inside their thoughts. "I am not a threat to you," she continued, her eyes resting idly on their raised weapons.

Shepard kept her gun trained steadily on the woman's head. "So tell me, why are we here? I didn't think the Old Growth was willing to associate with us 'flesh creatures' after what Saren did. What changed?"

"The Old Growth has come to understand that lack of involvement in current circumstances could be detrimental to it. It wishes to discuss a potential alliance between itself and the flesh creatures."

"Why now? Why not before we tried to kill you?" Shepard asked.

The Shiala-clone spoke again with the strange intonation, "The Old Growth understands that the flesh creature called Saren who first assaulted it was under the influence of the Cold Ones. It has watched events unfold since you attempted to exterminate it and understands that the infestation of the Cold Ones has grown and now threatens to upset the balance of life irreversibly. It will forgive your insult if you will help it."

"So you actually care about what happens to the rest of the galaxy now?" Shepard challenged.

"The Old Growth only seeks to maintain life, but it has grown attached to those who scurry. It has nurtured many flesh creatures on many worlds and does not enjoy seeing them harmed. It was confused when flesh creatures tried to harm it before, but understands now that it was the Cold Ones who offered the insult. It is time for the Cold Ones that infest this galaxy to be reaped in turn. They have become too arrogant and must be put in their place. They must learn to understand that there is order in chaos, and the Old Growth exists to maintain life."

"What exactly can the Old Growth offer us in this alliance?" Shepard asked.

"The Old Growth offers its knowledge. It knows you are missing a piece of the puzzle to defeat the Cold Ones. It can give you the answers that will allow you to assist it in preserving life."

Shepard knew it was never that easy.

"So tell me. Where's the Catalyst. How do we use it?"

"The Old Growth wishes for something in return before it gives the answers. It will commune with you to give you the knowledge in exchange for a new perspective."

Just as she thought, there was a price. "A new perspective? What does that mean?" she asked.

"The Old Growth wishes for your knowledge in return. It wishes to see the events of this undertaking unfold through your eyes."

"It wants into my head, you're saying."

"Fuck that," James interjected from behind her. "Don't do it. Just tell it no and let's get the fuck out of here. What a fucking waste of time."

"James," Shepard cautioned, growing impatient with him.

"Can the Old Growth guarantee that its knowledge will give us an effective way to defeat the Reapers once and for all?"

"Yes. Its knowledge holds the truth of their weaknesses."

"I'll do it," she said without hesitation, finally holstering her weapon.

She could practically feel James vibrating with suppressed agitation. Finally he was no longer able to contain himself.

"Wait. Shepard. If you're dead set on doing it, let me do it with you. It wants perspective, right? Let it have two. Let it have us both."

She turned and met his gaze. His eyes searched hers, hoping for acceptance. He wasn't about to let her step off that particular cliff alone if he could help it. She never needed to go alone again as far as he was concerned.

"The Old Growth finds the offer acceptable," the Shiala-clone said.

Shepard was struck by the look of stubborn determination on his face. That in itself wasn't unusual, but the desperate look in his eyes twisted at her heart strings. He was afraid he'd lose her if she went down this path, and was determined to lose himself with her if it came down to it.  _Forever would suck without you_ , his voice echoed in her mind. This was either the stupidest or most endearing thing James had ever done, and she had to rule out stupid because it was something  _she_  was about to do herself, whether he joined her or not. Fuck, it probably was pretty stupid, but if they got any closer to the answers they needed it was worth it. And having two brains with the answers couldn't hurt.

Shepard's gaze softened as she began to understand. She nodded to him and turned back to face the Shiala-clone. "Just how much influence will it have over us afterwards? I need to know I'll be able to do my job after this. If I'm mind controlled by it, all bets are off on whether I can influence any events the way I have so far."

"It will merely be an observer. You may be able to sense its presence, but only marginally. However, there may be moments when you have a closer link to it, when you are close to one of the nodes of the Old Growth that exist throughout the galaxy."

"It has  _nodes_?" James asked.

The Shiala-clone fixed an intense gaze on him and said in the same detached, resonant voice, "Yes, it has tendrils and sprouts on every planet in the galaxy that can support organic life. It acquires its knowledge of the galaxy through these nodes and through creatures it has developed symbiosis with."

"Like the Keepers?" Shepard asked.

"Yes, they were the first. They are the sentinels that monitor the legacy of the Cold Ones for the Old Growth."

"I'm guessing what we're about to do is acquire a sort of symbiosis with it?"

"You are intuitive for one who scurries."

Shepard hesitated for a moment and turned to face James again.

"James, are you sure about this?"

"Hell no, I'm not sure about it," he said, and she could hear an almost imperceptible quaver in his voice. "But Shepard... I'm not letting you do this alone." His gaze was intense and unflinching.

She muttered, "I should probably order you  _not_  to do it, but I don't think you'd listen."

"You know me well, Lola," he said, and his wry smirk somehow managed to alleviate some of her own anxiety.

The Shiala-clone led them through a maze of flowerbeds exploding with greenery. When they reached the center of the tower they found a huge, round pool that surrounded a monstrous, viny growth.

The giant plant resembled an enormous flower bud roughly the size of an entire Kodiak shuttle. It hung facing downward, suspended from several thick vines that Shepard could see were networked across the high ceiling of the huge room they stood in. The familiar neural nodes she'd encountered previously were visible in multiple locations throughout the room, pulsing with soft, glowing light.

The giant bud had a rigid shell of variegated bright-green concealing the slightest hint of soft red petals beneath. It was surrounded by the trunks of several large trees that stood like sentinels around the center of the pool. When Shepard glanced up she realized they weren't trees, but huge vines that had descended from the ceiling and grown into the bottom of the pool itself. The largest was roughly the diameter of a Krogan. They could see a web of roots and tendrils covering the floor of the pool beneath a couple feet of crystal-clear water.

Standing this close to it, the psychic pull became almost overwhelming, but Shepard couldn't sense anything resembling menace in the sensation. If anything, it was comforting, much like sinking into a soft bed. She hoped that her willingness to cooperate with it this time would ensure it remained sympathetic.

"EDI, please keep an eye on us while we do this. If anything alarming happens, contact Dr. Chakwas and prepare her for the worst. Let Steve know to be on standby for a quick evac if necessary. I know he worries about us. If all goes well, we'll be able to walk out of here no worse for wear."

"Of course, Shepard. If the Thorian becomes hostile, should I attempt a rescue?"

"I don't think it will attack us unless we try to harm it, but if that's the case, your own preservation takes priority."

"Yes, Shepard."

"So, how does this work?" James asked, directing his question at the Shiala-clone.

Shepard could hear the anxiety in his voice. She was nervous, too, but her instincts had never steered her wrong and she had a gut feeling this was finally going to provide them the answers they so desperately needed.

"You must present yourselves to it as seeds," their guide told them. As if in response to the statement, the vines at the edge of the pool began to writhe, forcing the earth to shift and crumble into a pair of oblong shallow depressions, lined by a fine mesh of living vines.

"Looks like we're about to get planted," Shepard said with resignation. "Ready, James?"

"As I'll ever be," he replied, looking down uncertainly at the freshly dug earth.

"You must shed your outer husks first," the Shiala-clone insisted.

"Wait, what?" James turned and stared at her. "It's not enough that we have to get buried alive, but we have to be naked, too?"

Shepard looked at him with mild amusement.

"Are you afraid you might find out your root isn't as big as you thought it was?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He gave her a look of mock offense but was distracted when she removed her helmet and slowly began stripping off her gear piece by piece and setting it aside. She was being deliberately seductive with her movements, holding his gaze and sliding her fingertips over each clasp and buckle before slowly releasing them and letting the rigid plates fall away, then stripping off her flexible layer of body armor. Finally she stood before him utterly naked, the tips of her breasts hard in a subtle breeze that seemed to be constantly flowing through the large space. She kept her eyes fixed on his and reached behind her, pulling the clip from her hair and releasing the wavy tendrils to flow down over her shoulders.

"Fuck, Lola," he finally said to her with a low laugh. "I might need to plant a few seeds myself when we're done. Or at least do a little ploughing." He rubbed idly at the back of his helmet as he spoke.

She responded with a husky laugh of her own and said, "Your turn. Strip, soldier boy. The air is fine. It's nice, actually... not too warm, not too cold. It's like being in the Presidium Commons, just more peaceful. Maybe we can take a skinny-dip afterwards."

He shrugged as he removed his helmet and began unfastening his armor plates. "I don't know if I'd skinny-dip on the Citadel; but here, maybe."

She studied their surroundings as she waited for James to undress. She admired the beauty and the stark contrast to how it had appeared on her previous visit. The Thorian had certainly seemed sinister the first time she'd met it, and she guessed it was because it had been trapped in ruins with little access to sunlight. She supposed if she were as immobile as it was, she might go a little stir crazy being trapped in a pile of rubble, too. She suddenly understood the request it was making. The Thorian seemed to rely on its connection to other creatures and its nodes on other worlds for awareness of what was happening outside its immediate surroundings. Looking at it now and what it had created here for itself she thought it might be one of the most beautiful creatures she'd ever seen, and she felt mild regret at having antagonized it before.

She heard an odd sound come from EDI's direction and turned her head to see the pretty cyborg staring intently at James' now naked body with her head cocked to one side.

James was anxiously studying the earthy depression that yawned at his feet and seemed to be oblivious to her scrutiny. He seemed equally oblivious to the huge hard-on he currently sported. He was quite an impressive sight, and Shepard thought she'd never get tired of seeing him in that state.

"EDI, take a picture, it'll last longer," Shepard said in a near whisper. EDI's head turned to face Shepard abruptly, the subtle mechanical sound of her neck as it moved was at odds with the very human look of surprise on her face.

"I apologize, Shepard. I was only admiring his physique. He is remarkably different from Jeff, but not unpleasantly so."

"No apology necessary, EDI," Shepard said. "He kindof has the same effect on me." After a pause, she couldn't help but ask, "EDI, haven't you and Joker... been intimate?"

EDI almost seemed to sigh a little bit before she said, "He is still hesitant. He repeatedly says that it needs to occur at the correct moment, but I do not know how to judge what that moment might be. We have discussed it extensively and continue to do so, so I do not understand the source of this hesitance."

"Maybe you two need to stop talking about it and just do it," Shepard said, gently.

"How much talking did you and Lieutenant Vega do beforehand?" EDI asked, curious.

Shepard laughed, "We didn't actually  _talk_  about doing it at all, to be honest. We just got to a point where we both wanted it badly enough and it happened. Sometimes words just get in the way."

EDI seemed to ponder that and Shepard took it as her cue to step back towards the depression in the earth that awaited her.

"You two done with your little heart-to-heart?" James asked softly.

Shepard smiled at him and nodded. "They'll figure it out eventually."

"Lola," he said, turning to face her, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. She glanced at him and saw the conflict warring in his eyes.

"James, we'll be fine," she said in a comforting tone. "This will work, I know it."

He believed her, of course. If the power of conviction alone were enough to win a war, he was certain she would have prevailed long before this moment. Even seeing her standing naked in the warm sunlight, strands of hair drifting in the steady breeze, he was struck by her strength. She should have seemed vulnerable to him at that moment, unarmed and unarmored as she was, but the effect she had was exactly the opposite. How had he caught the attention of such an amazing woman? And how had he  _kept_  it? He was suddenly overwhelmed by a single thought and there was no way in hell he was going to go another moment without telling her.

He stepped towards her and gripped her gently by the hand, turning her to face him. He spoke with soft urgency. "Shepard... Zoe..." he hesitated. She met his eyes with a concerned look. He never used her given name. She waited for him to continue, her naked body unconsciously responding to the close proximity of his warm, bare skin.

"I love you, Zoe Shepard," he said, earnestly, the look in his eyes resolute. "You need to know that, in case..." He glanced around at them and then shrugged, saying, "I just need you to know."

She smiled at him tenderly and reached a hand up to caress his scruffy cheek. "I love you, too, James Vega. And we'll make it out of this, I promise you. You owe me a skinny-dip after we get out of the mud. And then we have a horde of Reapers to demolish. And I'll still love you after all of that, too."

He smiled back at her, an unfamiliar serenity seeping into him. Then they both stepped down, reclining into the earth.

She felt the soil grow slightly warmer beneath her, then it shifted around her and began to vibrate softly as dozens of small tendrils drifted against her, gripping gently at her limbs and causing the soil to collapse over her naked body. She held her hands clasped over her stomach, her eyes wide open and fixed upon a single large bloom that swayed hypnotically on a vine above her. The earth never quite covered her face, but the vibrations caused it to cover her body completely and she felt it thick against the sides of her head, muffling the sounds around her almost entirely. She wanted to turn her head to see how James was faring, but forced herself to focus on that one beautiful flower instead.

The soft, warm weight of the earth felt strangely comforting and she breathed deeply, waiting for whatever revelation might occur next. She felt the vines that gripped her limbs shift and spread, writhing over her body softly. The sensations were not unpleasant. They reminded her of James' thick fingers gently caressing her in their most intimate moments.

A cool wetness began to seep into the depression beneath her, beginning at her feet and working its way up, gradually filling the depression with water that mixed with the soft soil that covered her. She gasped when it nearly covered her face, but felt the sudden support of something rise up beneath her skull, keeping her face above the surface.

"Are you doing alright, James?" she asked, her voice coming out in a husky whisper she was unsure would be audible if he had mud in his ears like she did at the moment.

She heard his muted reply, "So far so good. This is just a little weird though... not sure I'd repeat the experience."

"Mud baths are good for the pores," she joked and heard his low laugh in response.

Then everything started to get a little fuzzy. The last thing she noticed was several viny tendrils sliding over her shoulders and between her breasts, then twining through the hair on her head and wrapping gently around her skull. She felt something thorny pierce her skin just behind both ears and then her vision went black.

* * *

She heard a low buzzing sound that grew in volume as she began to regain consciousness.

"Shepard? Shepard!" She opened her eyes and saw James' naked, mud-coated body hovering over her. She was out of the mud, but her head still swam from the connection the Thorian had made with her. And she had no memory of any of it.

"But... " she glanced around the garden, the landscape swirling in her drugged gaze. "Where the fuck is she?" she slurred when she failed to see the Shiala-clone anywhere.

She stood up unsteadily. "We were supposed to get answers," she whispered. " _We were supposed to get answers!"_  she yelled at the top of her lungs and lurched to one side, still off balance. James caught her and steadied her by one mud-covered arm.

"Lola, hold on, settle down."

"Settle down? Where are the fucking answers? I can't remember anything even remotely useful." She suddenly deflated a bit and leaned against him, finding comfort in his solid figure. He snaked one arm around her and held her upright against his side.

"She said it might take some time, before she left," James told her. "Said it would be a day or two before the connection took root. Something about a gestation period. It's a plant thing I guess."

Shepard looked at him with a raised eyebrow and snorted softly, "You are such a big dummy sometimes. It's cute." He glared at her.

She sighed as the tension left her. "A day or two," she said, taking a deep breath. "I can wait a day or two... especially with you," she said looking at him again with a silly grin. He still had one muddy arm wrapped tightly around her and he let out a small grunt at the look he saw in her eyes. He was still almost as loopy as she was from whatever drug the Thorian had pumped them full of and was instantly aroused by her contact, acutely aware of one of her muddy breasts pressed against his chest. They were both still naked and completely caked with semi-dried mud, but she didn't seem to care, and neither did he.

She wrapped both arms around his neck and pressed the entire muddy length of her body against his, and her still pristine lips against his, her tongue thrusting into his mouth insistently. His mouth tasted sweet and her taste buds tingled as their tongues made contact and slid against each other. She moaned softly against his lips. "Mmm... you taste good, James," she murmured.

James' mind was bombarded with input, every sense seeming to come alive and acutely receptive to his surroundings. He felt her lift herself up and her legs were suddenly and deliciously wrapped around his waist and he could feel his arousal brushing against her core. The dull throb in his mind began to intensify along with the sensations and out of the corner of one eye he vaguely noticed the bud of the Thorian begin to quiver.

He released her lips and leaned his head close to her neck. "Fuck, Lola, why do you smell so good?" he said, inhaling deeply and repeatedly. She felt a deep rumble in his chest and he practically growled against her ear, "I wonder if you taste as good as you smell."

He set her down on the wide raised ledge at the side the huge pool, extracting himself from her limbs. She finally lay back with a sigh and trailed her fingers above her head through the clear water of the pool. Small clouds of fine dark earth fell off her fingertips and settled to the bottom of the pool.

Her face was relaxed with pleasure and her eyes gazed up in semi-drugged wonder at the huge plant that hovered over them as he pushed her knees wide apart and settled between them, then bent his head down. When his mouth came into contact with the smooth petals of her sex, she gasped at the sensation, and was peripherally aware that the Thorian had begun to vibrate slightly.

He flicked his tongue down her velvety smooth flesh and moaned at the exquisite flavor of her. It was like nothing he'd ever tasted before; like the sweetest fruit, ripe and juicy and ready to be devoured. She moaned harshly as he slipped his tongue deep inside her and back out, sliding it over her soft folds, then flicking and swirling at the small bud at the top of her sex. Within moments she was bucking and writhing against him, crying out as she climaxed. Her hands gripped the back of his head and pressed him to her core as though her life depended on it.

There was a subtle creaking sound from above them and the giant flowerbud seemed to shift on its vines, its rigid outer leaves beginning to curl at the edges.

The next second he was inside her, thrusting with abandon with her legs wrapped around him. The force of their activity shifted them gradually across the smooth stones closer to the edge of the pool. Shepard's tangled, muddy locks fell over the edge and drifted across the surface. James brushed the now dried earth from her breast with the swipe of one large hand and bent down, taking its tip hungrily into his mouth, teasing and sucking as he continued to thrust into her.

Neither of them were completely aware when the edge of the pool appeared beneath them and they went over it, James still solidly fucking her.

EDI watched with continued fascination as they spluttered to the surface laughing, and a split second later they were wrapped around each other again. EDI heard Shepard's demand, "I need you inside me now, James." James' own incoherent reply was followed by mini tidal-waves flowing to the edges of the pool from their agitation of the water. James had Shepard's back pressed up against one of the large viny trunks and her legs were wrapped around him again. EDI could see the rhythmic undulation of his hips just below the surface of the water. However, a more interesting occurrence was happening above them. The huge flowerbud seemed to pulse and swell with each thrust of James' hips.

The two lovers seemed completely oblivious to their surroundings, which she discounted as being a side effect of the Thorian's drug. It seemed to have only induced mild euphoria and reduced inhibitions, and possibly also had a slightly aphrodisiac effect. She wondered briefly if it were possible to replicate that type of effect for a synthetic being, and stored the thought to research later.

She continued to observe them closely just to be on the safe side.

" _Dr. Chakwas,"_  she communicated privately through the _Normandy_ 's comm system directly to the Med Bay. " _Yes, EDI? Please give me an update,"_  the doctor replied with insistence.

" _They are awake. They appear to be intact and unharmed, however there were some side effects. They seem to be somewhat preoccupied with... bathing... at the moment."_

" _EDI, if you can, please try to get them back to the shuttle. It's important that I begin monitoring their condition as soon as possible."_

" _I will do my best."_

She watched them for a moment longer before calling out to no apparent effect. The two of them were in the throes of ecstasy and seemed to be in no way close to completing the act. Shepard's long legs were still tightly wrapped around James as his hips moved against her. Their mouths seemed almost permanently locked together, but their hands never stopped moving, touching every inch of skin they could reach.

Their movements and noises began to grow louder and faster and the Thorian's bloom shifted again. EDI watched it closely, looking for signs of hostility but saw nothing but shifting greenery.

She finally decided that she would just have to wait until the drug wore off and they came back to their senses. She suspected she couldn't disrupt their activity forcefully without hurting them. She continued to watch the Thorian closely, however. Its sudden activity was an unexpected development and she had no way to predict its behavior.

The harsh cries of the two lovers forced her attention back on them abruptly. Her curiosity was piqued but she knew the profound intimacy of what she was witnessing was a private experience between Shepard and Vega and hesitated. Her AI curiosity won out and she observed them unabashedly, taking note of their flushed skin and the way they maintained contact with every part of their bodies they could, including their mouths, even though it impeded their breathing eventually and they had to pull apart every so often. She especially noted the the way their eyes stayed locked together in a steady, intense gaze in between kisses until they finally reached their peaks and could no longer control their reflexes, throwing their heads back and crying out in release.

After they climaxed she saw Shepard's eyes flutter open to meet his and her lips moved in a near whisper that EDI could just barely pick up with her aural receptors. " _I love you, James Vega."_  She watched as James smiled and said in a similar tone of tenderness,  _"I love you, Zoe Shepard."_

The three of them were roused from their separate distractions when they heard a loud but muted *pop* in the air above them. They looked up in unison to see the bloom of the Thorian, wide open, glowing red and resplendent in the sunlight, and millions of small, luminous spores drifting into the air around them.


	11. Rode Hard and Put Away Wet

EDI spoke insistently, "Shepard, we should evacuate immediately."

Shepard's back was pressed solidly against the woody trunk by James' naked body, his hard flesh still planted deep inside her. She was half delirious from the intense series of orgasms she'd just had and her mind was struggling to make sense of things. What the hell had come over them?

Her mind swam as she watched the luminous spores drift around in the air above them. She had a surreal flashback to the day Mordin had released the Genophage cure into the air over Tuchanka and was irrationally overcome by emotion at the sight. She watched in bewildered fascination as the glowing motes drifted to the ground.

James' hips shifted against her and she felt her body begin to spasm involuntarily yet again in response. Her eyes locked onto his and she cried out in pleasure when all the sensations surrounding and infusing her suddenly converged upon one another causing yet another orgasm to blossom from her core. She saw his eyes flutter closed and he let out a low groan, evidently having a similar reaction.

It was too much. Reason struggled to reassert itself in her mind. She wanted this to go on forever, but she knew it had to stop or they would never leave this place.

"I think we need to leave, Lola." James echoed her thoughts in a desperate tone, meeting her eyes again.

"You stop touching me and maybe we can pull this off," she said with an unconvincing half-smile.

He grunted softly. "Easier said than done," he said, but reluctantly released his hold on her and extracted himself at the same time she lowered her legs.

Above them, the enormous bloom seemed to sag slightly on its stem. They watched in fascination as the petals twisted in on themselves and the huge leaves wrapped around them, closing itself up into the bud-like shape again.

Shepard began wading through the water back to the edge of the pool, towards EDI and their discarded belongings.

They were still dazed and unsteady as they hurriedly dressed. They didn't bother fully donning their armor, only slipping enough of it on for decency's sake and carrying the rest. They rode the elevator up the tower in silence, EDI managing the necessary communication to the shuttle and the _Normandy_ for them without having to vocalize.

"How long were we out for, EDI?" Shepard asked halfway through the long ride up the tower.

"Approximately four hours, Shepard. You were unconscious slightly longer than James was. I attempted to communicate with the Asari clone who watched over you, but she seemed not to register my presence for some reason. I was at least able to monitor your vital signs to assure myself that you both were not in distress during the ordeal. I contacted Dr. Chakwas shortly after the process began to prepare her. She will want to examine you as soon as we return to the _Normandy_."

"Of course. Thank you, EDI."

"You are welcome."

She cut a quick glance to James. "How do you feel?" she asked quietly.

He turned to look at her and gave her a slow, sleepy smile. "Still kindof looped. Horny as fuck. Thirsty. That's about it."

"Do you remember anything from when you were unconscious?"

"Not a damn thing, but at least we're still alive."

She supposed he had a point, but if they'd just exposed themselves to mind-controlling spores with no payoff... well... what? It was done. She just had to hope it wouldn't interfere with their ability to fight. She didn't  _feel_  mind controlled, but she had no idea how long it would have taken to happen. She didn't feel anything new, besides looped, horny, and thirsty. She also didn't see any point in retribution against a creature like the Thorian. She didn't believe it could be killed, for one thing, and she also didn't believe it was deliberately malicious. Not to mention she still had a very strong feeling the creature was going to provide the answers somehow.

Steve was leaning casually against the exterior of the shuttle when they reached the landing bay. His expression turned to one of surprise when they came within sight of him.

"What the hell happened to you two?" He eyed them both up and down, taking in their dazed expressions and flushed complexions, and the bits of mud still caked on them here and there, particularly in Shepard's hair that was still hanging in tangled wet strands down her back.

"Forgive the expression, but you both look like you've been rode hard and put away wet... literally," Steve said before he climbed into the shuttle and began starting it up.

"That pretty much sums it up, Esteban," James said as he settled himself into the shuttle seat and strapped in.

"Well was it worth it at least?" the pilot asked.

Shepard said, "Depends. We didn't get any answers... yet... but it was a mostly  _gratifying_  experience overall." She gave James a lazy smile. He held her gaze for an intense moment. Definitely still horny.

She tore her gaze away from his and sighed, "But it looks like we might be stuck here for a couple days until we know more."

She just hoped that in two days if there were no developments the Shiala-clone would show herself again to answer their questions.

* * *

Dr. Chakwas was waiting patiently for them in the med bay when they returned to the _Normandy_. She gave Shepard a level stare when she walked in.

Shepard met the woman's eyes and spoke in an appeasing tone, "I know, Karin, you don't need to say it. It was stupid and reckless but I have a feeling it'll pay off."

The doctor replied, her voice free from reproach, "I'm more concerned with what it might have done to you. I could only get partial readings from your suits once you put them back on, but it was enough to cause concern. Sit down, both of you. You're not leaving until I've given you both thorough exams."

Shepard was surprised at the report of her suit's readings. She felt fine in general. Better than fine now that the drug finally seemed to be wearing off.

"What kinds of readings?" Shepard asked.

Dr. Chakwas had already begun examining her closely, recording vitals and testing blood samples. "Elevated heart rate and body temperature, but not accompanied by the same level of adrenaline that I would expect if you were engaged in battle. On the contrary, the readings I could get showed evidence of quite a high level of endorphins in your system." She gave both Shepard and James direct looks in turn. James blushed and shifted uncomfortably on the exam table, turning his gaze away from the doctor's candid stare. She shot only a cursory glance at his hands, which were casually draped across his groin.

"Ah... about that..." Shepard said, and the doctor gave her an attentive look. "We got a little distracted for a bit, after we regained consciousness. And it seems like that particular side effect hasn't quite worn off yet."

"I see. That would explain the readings," the doctor said, reading between the lines, and pursed her lips as she moved to examine James. Shepard thought she saw a small, amused smirk on the older woman's face.

"Well, you both seem fine," the doctor said finally. "I understand we're staying here for a couple days. That might be best, if there's a chance of any latent effects of your exposure to the spores. I'm going to let you go, but please report to me if you start having any unusual symptoms."

"You have my word," Shepard said and James nodded his thanks to the doctor as they exited the med bay and headed for the elevator.

When they were alone together in the enclosed space, she leaned back against the wall with a sigh and James followed suit, propping his hands beside his hips on the steel rail that was mounted around the edges of the elevator.

"Do you think it did something to us?" James asked.

"I'm pretty sure it did, but I don't know what. Right now I just want a shower. A nice long shower."

She gave him a sidelong glance, admiring how the muscles of his arms bunched up from his hands gripping the rail they leaned on. She noticed his head slightly bowed and cocked towards her. His lips were parted and his eyes intently studied the curve of her breast under her sheer tanktop and the bare swath of toned belly and navel visible where her shirt had ridden up slightly. She felt her nipples prickle and grow erect under his gaze. She shifted her hand to the side along the steel bar between them until her pinky finger bumped against his. As if by reflex, his little finger twined with hers and his eyes drifted back up to her face, the heat in them almost palpable.

"Goddamn, if there weren't cameras in here..." he said in a husky voice.

A second later the lift opened and they wasted no time stripping off the remains of their armor the moment they had entered her quarters. Once their clothes were off he had her against the wall almost instantly. Their tongues tangled and his strong hands urgently pulled her legs up around him while he thrust himself into her. They climaxed after several intense, desperate seconds, then he slid one arm beneath her bottom to hold her up and carried her into the bathroom.

He turned the shower on and stood holding her under the hot stream for several seconds before she gripped his shoulders and her legs tightened around his hips and she started riding him where they stood. She tilted her head back in ecstasy and drank down the water that streamed into her open mouth from the showerhead. She felt his tongue at her breast and moaned in pleasure as he lapped at her wet skin and trailed his tongue up her chest to her throat, finally covering her eager mouth with his own while the water streamed down between them.

He pressed her against the wall again and reached behind him to angle the showerhead over them while he continued to bury himself inside her with deep, urgent thrusts. He felt the muscles of her core clench around him as she orgasmed again, her cry reverberating off the metal walls of the small room. A mere second later he felt his own release overtake him.

She disengaged from him and dropped her legs to the floor. She stood and turned to present her back to him. She pulled her wet length of hair over her shoulder and he was almost blinded by the rhythmic pulse of her tattoo. He growled deeply and gripped her hips in both large hands, spreading her wide and slipping deep within her again, enjoying the soft gasp she made as his hips slammed against her ass.

He groaned at the sight of her tattoo pulsing before him and reached up a large hand to trail fingertips over her inked skin, tracing down the contour of her arched spine, down to the cleft of her bottom. He gazed at her in mute wonder. Every inch of her was beautiful to him, every angle he saw presented some new revelation that just intensified his desire for her. He slid his hand down and gripped one creamy cheek while he continued his rhythmic thrusting. His thick thumb grazed down her cleft against sensitive puckered skin and he heard her gasp in pleasure, the muscles currently holding his cock captive flexed noticeably. He teased his thumb over the tight flesh again, gauging her response.

"Yes!" he heard her gasp out, and with that word as encouragement he slipped his thick digit past the tight, slick barrier. She came almost instantly, bucking back against him and crying out harshly. He was too surprised by her sudden reaction to think about his own pleasure, but the cry of ecstasy at his touch provoked an equally intense reaction in him and he sank deep into her with a final quick stroke. The explosion of pleasure was a blinding light behind his eyes as bright as the pulsing patterns on her back.

She stood upright with him still deep inside her and he wrapped his thick arms around her torso, bending his knees just enough to maintain their deep connection. She was nearly as tall as he was and he enjoyed how perfectly they seemed to fit together this way. And in almost every other way, too.

The hot water continued to stream over their naked bodies.

"I don't want to stop," she said softly.

"Then we won't, until we're spent," he murmured into her ear, then trailed his lips down over her shoulder, tasting her wet skin.

"You never cease to amaze me, James," she said.

"I love you, too," he said with a smile and kissed the side of her jaw softly as he began moving in her again.

The urgency they'd felt when they'd entered her quarters was finally subsiding when EDI's serene voice spoke over the comm. "Shepard, I must warn you that continued use of the shower will deprive the crew of sufficient resources for their own use. It takes 24 hours for the treatment system to sufficiently process the water for consumption and you have already depleted half of our reserve supply."

"Shit," Shepard said. "Thanks for the reminder, EDI."

She sighed and extracted herself from James' embrace, turning to look at him. "Shower time is over, I guess," she said with an exaggeratedly mournful look.

He laughed and said, "There will be other nights for showers. But we might want to take the chance to actually  _bathe_  while we're in here, I think." He gestured to her hair which still had bits of dark mud clinging to it, even after standing in her shower for... how long? She'd lost track.

They hurriedly soaped up and rinsed off then turned off the water.

She felt surprisingly sated when they crawled into bed. Maybe the aphrodisiac effects of the drug had finally worn off. She wondered idly if it was all the sex that had burned it out, or if it would have just burned out on its own after a time. Either way, she felt an odd peace she didn't think she'd ever felt before once James settled his warm, naked body next to hers and pulled the blankets over them. When his arm curled around her waist she fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

EDI's voice was insistent. "Shepard, Lieutenant Vega, wake up."

James awoke to an intense pounding inside his skull that grew stronger when EDI repeated her words.

"Ugh, not so loud, EDI. What's up?" He sat up slowly and clutched at his temples. He felt like he had the hangover from hell and struggled to remember why. He didn't remember drinking.

"Lieutenant Vega, is Commander Shepard awake? It's been nearly twelve hours since you went to sleep. Dr. Chakwas is growing concerned."

He blinked his eyes and turned to look at the still sleeping form beside him. This was unlike her. She normally woke long before he did, and usually woke him up feeling frisky. He gripped her shoulder and shook gently.

"Lola. Wake up, babe." He received no reaction and his heart lurched in his chest.

"Shepard!" he said more urgently. "Wake up!"

He shook her harder then rolled her onto her back. She lay limp and all too quiet. He felt a sudden panic begin to rise in him and forgot the pounding in his skull entirely.

"EDI, get the doctor up here now, there's something wrong with her."

He bent his head over her chest and was relieved to hear her slow, steady heartbeat through the sheet beneath his ear. He lifted his hand to smooth her hair away from her forehead and barely registered that his hand was shaking slightly.

"Lola, please wake up," he said in a soft, pleading voice, his lips close to her ear. He rested his forehead against her temple and continued softly begging. One arm was still wrapped around her torso and he shook her gently every so often to no effect.

He felt a pair of strong hands grip him by the shoulders as the slight-framed doctor came into view, activating the scanner of her omni-tool and sweeping it over Shepard's prone, still form.

"We need to get them both to the med bay immediately," she instructed and James noticed the two other figures in the room.

"Come on, man, pull yourself together," Steve's voice spoke from behind him.

Kaidan's face seemed stricken with worry as he glanced between Shepard and Vega, who sat stunned and seemingly oblivious to his own disrobed state. Kaidan stepped forward and bent to lift Shepard from the bed, wrapping the sheet around her and holding her gently against his chest. She was limp in his arms, her joints loose like a rag doll and her tangled waves catching on the snaps on the arm of his uniform. Kaidan started out the door with her and James moved to follow.

"Hold it there, my man," Steve said, pulling him back gently. "Let's get you dressed first."

The pounding returned inside James' skull with a vengeance and he sat down heavily on the end of the bed.

"I'll die without her, man. Hell, we're  _all_ probably dead without her," James said with a distinct tinge of despair in his voice.

Steve shoved some clothes at him and he started dressing by reflex.

"Nobody's dying yet," Steve said in a tight voice. "Dr. Chakwas will figure out what's up and fix her. Don't worry."

But Steve had to admit that he was pretty damn worried himself and knew Kaidan was, too. He'd never seen his friend, this mountain of strength and positive energy, so defeated over anything. It honestly hadn't occurred to him until this moment how close his friend and the Commander had become. James was in deep. So deep Steve knew exactly where the man would be if things took a turn for the worse. It would be a hard thing to come back from and he knew then that his friend spoke the truth - he likely wouldn't make it back from this if something happened to her.

James didn't bother with shoes, heading straight for the elevator after throwing on a pair of loose sweats and a t-shirt. Steve followed closely behind and they rode down together in anxious silence.

When they reached the med bay, Dr. Chakwas was busy running more tests with Liara's assistance.

The second James stepped into the room, the doctor asked, "Did anything unusual happen last night after you left here?"

James shook his head in bewilderment. "No, we just showered then went to bed. Tell me what's wrong with her, Doc. Is she going to be okay?"

The doctor took a deep breath and said in a baffled tone, "I don't know. I can't find anything wrong with her. She's slightly dehydrated, but all her vitals are normal, and her brain function is as well. It's as though she's simply in a deep sleep. The only thing we can do now is wait to see if anything changes. Maybe once I give you a more thorough exam we might gain more insight. I want you to explain to me exactly what happened during your experience with the Thorian. Every detail."

James eased up on the exam table at her urging and began describing the events of the previous day with as much detail as he could recall while she examined him again.

Liara interjected when he got to the end, "You said the Thorian bloomed while you were making love?"

He cleared his throat, feeling just a little self conscious with his current audience, which happened to include Shepard's last lover.

"Uh, yeah, that's how I remember it, but we were both pretty drugged at the time. It started acting weird when we - ah - started. And when we...  _finished_... it sortof popped open and that's when it released the spores."

Kaidan's expression started becoming volatile and James saw the man's fists clench slowly. He was afraid they'd have to throw down for a second when Steve touched the other man's elbow and whispered something in his ear. Kaidan looked abashed for a second, then followed the other man out to sit at a table in the mess.

Liara turned to Dr. Chakwas and said, "Doctor, it might be worthwhile to go back and gather samples of the spores. If we can discern their properties, it might help us understand how to help Zoe."

Dr. Chakwas nodded. "Good idea, Liara. Please arrange it with Major Alenko. Take EDI with you, but I don't want any more of the crew than absolutely necessary to be exposed to that creature. I don't care how beneficent its intentions might be."

"I'm going too," James said abruptly.

"The hell you are," both Liara and Chakwas said in unison.

Chakwas glared at him hard enough to give him pause. Liara he could deal with, but the Doc was as intense as his grandmother and she kindof scared him a little bit.

"You're staying here until I tell you otherwise, Lieutenant," the Doc said, brooking no argument and he realized it would be folly to offer any at this point. Shit.

James watched silently as Liara left the med bay and went to talk to Kaidan. He could still see the three figures through the window from where he sat, the two men seated at the table, and the Asari standing. He couldn't be certain, but he thought it looked like she was ripping the Major a new one from the expression on the man's face. It almost made him smile in spite of himself after the ripping he'd just gotten himself.

It occurred to him that with Shepard down for the count, the Major was in charge. He guessed Liara's little speech was reminding him to pull his shit together. He snorted slightly to himself, imagining what she might be saying in her quiet, steady, and perfectly inflected voice.

Then it hit him that Liara had referred to Shepard by her first name. During his conversations with Shepard, James had heard her mention Liara frequently, but it hadn't sunk in how close they might be as friends. That Shepard had friends was an entirely foreign concept to him for some reason. True, she was very charismatic and had an easy rapport with her crew, but was always professional - with a few exceptions he was thankful for. He had to admit that he rarely saw her interacting one-on-one with the others when it wasn't in a professional setting, but in retrospect he knew that pretty much the entire crew loved her. That was part of what made her so good at her job - people  _wanted_  to follow her. Hell, he would follow her to hell and back if she asked him to, and he didn't think it was just because of how much he loved her.

"You should eat something."

James was drawn out of his thoughts by the sound of the doctor's almost maternal voice nearby. She had finished her examination and was comparing notes between his results and Shepard's. His stomach suddenly rumbled loudly as if in agreement with the doctor.

She reiterated her command, "You haven't eaten anything since yesterday morning as far as I'm aware, James. It might help. Go eat, and when you're finished I'd like to hook you up to an IV to make sure you stay hydrated. Whatever effects the Thorian had on you, one of them seems to be dehydration and that's something I can at least treat you for until we know more."

He nodded silently and stood, but the still form of Shepard lying there kept him from moving further. He found a stool and settled on it beside her. He just sat looking at her for a moment. She looked vibrant, like she might open her eyes any second and give him one of those smiles that made his heart skip a beat. The same kind of smile she might give him before she charged into a fight. The kind of smile that always seemed to make him hard when he caught a glimpse of it.

She was so beautiful and serene lying there like that. Is this what it looked like when she slept? He'd never actually seen her like this - she was always awake when he was. Always either working, or talking to him, or fucking him. Seeing her like this was wrong somehow, even as beautiful as she looked. Shepard never slept as far as he knew, unless she was in his arms and he was asleep beside her.

"Babe, you need to wake up," he whispered to her. "We need you. I need you."

He felt a soft hand on his shoulder and the Doc's voice in his ear. "James, go take care of yourself. You're no good to her if you lose your strength. I'll be right here if she needs anything." After a short pause, the older woman said softly, "I love her, too, you know. Like the daughter I never had."

He nodded and stood, finally releasing Shepard's hand and laying it gently back on the starched white sheet.

He wandered out of the med bay and made his way to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and stared into it blankly for several minutes.

"Looking for something?" Steve asked.

"Doc told me to eat, but I have no idea how that works at the moment," he said, giving his friend a lost look.

"I'm here for you, my friend," Steve said and gestured for James to sit. James sat in one of the stools across the counter and watched with detachment as his friend pulled out what seemed like a random collection of ingredients and began throwing them together.

"Dude, I didn't know you could cook," James said with surprise, and realized he recognized what his friend was making.

"Well, once you taste this... you'll know I can't," Steve said with a laugh. "Robert tried to teach me this recipe but I could never get it right. He laughed at me every time I tried to make it because I just kept fucking it up."

"Oh yeah? What's it called?" James asked, suddenly curious.

"He called it 'huevos rancheros'," Steve said after several moments of intense cooking. James noted that his friend's expression softened and grew sad for a second.

James suppressed a laugh and said, "Man, you're a disgrace to your Latin roots if you can't make huevos rancheros."

"Dude, I grew up in fucking Canada, unlike some other  _pendejos_."

"Are you sure? I didn't realize Canadians knew how to curse," James said in retort.

Steve finally shoved a full plate of food in front of him in response and James was actually in good enough spirits after their exchange to acknowledge his hunger and dig in. Whatever his friend had managed to make, it smelled fucking  _incredible._

"Esteban..." he said reverently after the first bite.

His friend looked at him apprehensively. "It's not even remotely edible is it?" Steve asked.

James just shook his head as he continued eating. It was damn near as good as his  _abuela_ 's recipe, and the man had just thrown it together like nothing.

"Esteban... dude... I'd say you've mastered this recipe. If I swung that way, I'd marry you."

He thought he saw his friend actually blush in response to his words. Steve rubbed the back of his neck and glanced to one side.

"Ah, thanks, I think," he said.

"Thank you for this. I hate to eat and run, but..." James glanced anxiously back to the med bay.

"Of course, man. Like I said, I'm here for you." Steve hesitated for a second, then said gently, "Hey, man. She means a lot to all of us, you know. If it hadn't been for her, I would still be wallowing in my own grief over Robert. I love her, too. I want her to get better as much as anyone."

James nodded at his friend, unsure what to say, and turned to walk back to the med bay. His mind churned with thoughts he'd been keeping to himself since he'd woken up.

"Why am I still awake, Doc?" he asked abruptly when he walked back through the doors, the volume of his voice rising gradually in spite of his attempts to control his temper. "Why is she fucking _comatose_  right now and I'm still walking around? We went through the same shit as far as I'm aware. We were together every step of the way, so why is she laying  _there_  and I'm still walking around?"

He was nearly yelling his final words and struggled to quell his agitation before he started looking scary, but Chakwas didn't seem to be affected by his stature or his mood in the least.

"James," the woman said calmly. "I wish I had answers. It could just be your size... perhaps the creature didn't administer enough of its drug to affect you completely. Or maybe it deliberately targeted Shepard. There's no guarantee that it did the same thing to both of you while you were unconscious. Maybe it only wanted  _her_ to have the full effects of whatever it was giving you. There's really nothing we can do but wait at this point. Maybe Liara and Kaidan will be able to find some answers."

His nostrils flared as he looked at her and then as her words sunk in he finally deflated. He moved over to sit on the stool by Shepard's bed and gripped her slender hand in his, drawing it to his lips. "Please wake up, Lola," he whispered.

"James," Chakwas said quietly. "I need you to let me take care of you, too."

He shook his head at first, rejecting her command, then remembered what Shepard had said to him.  _Forever would suck without you._ If he failed her now he would never forgive himself. He studied Shepard's sleeping face and with a resigned nod moved to lay on the bed the doctor had indicated next to the one Shepard still rested serenely upon. He stared blankly at the ceiling while the doctor hooked him up to an IV.

He turned his head to watch her sleep, simultaneously mesmerized and enraged by the sight of her in that state, but mostly he just wished with a vengeance that she would wake up.


	12. Thorian Dreams

The darkness was descending again, threatening with its cold, lonely isolation. The Cold Ones sank their talons in deeper and in greater numbers than ever before. It would be a long hibernation; too long if things were allowed to continue as they were. There weren't enough suns to sustain it if it allowed the cycles to continue past this one. It was time to end them; time to end the incessant destructive rampage that was tearing at the very roots of the galaxy.

It could withstand much in the way of insult. Indeed it had at the hands of the scurrying creatures that subsisted on it. They were so very careless and often were oblivious to the kind of haphazard, pointless destruction they wrought upon themselves and their caretaker. But the injuries the scurrying creatures caused were naught but scratches at its bark; mild wounds that more often than not proved to germinate into new growth that only made it stronger and provided new perspectives. And new perspectives were always welcome.

It had not considered these new "human" creatures worthy of notice until the one had attempted to kill it. It had been injured greatly, so it took note. As a result, it had shifted its attention to focus upon this germ of a species in particular, and had found them perplexingly uninteresting, except for the one. It saw potential in the one called Shepard. Shepard was indeed worthy of symbiosis, and perhaps there were others as well. They were far younger than any other germ it had considered cultivating for symbiosis, but they were clearly a proliferous species and might otherwise provide it with infinite new perspectives.

It was not accustomed to the quickness with which the scurrying creatures accomplished tasks, but it knew the current situation was dire and it was capable of commanding an infinite number of symbiotes throughout the galaxy. It decided it should begin with the place called Feros, and produced a small army of clones of the ones called Keepers that it knew would heed its wishes quickly and efficiently while it continued to recover from the injuries inflicted upon it by the Cold Ones.

When Shepard responded to its call she brought another with her and they both submitted to the communion. It learned how desperate they were to end the Cold Ones' cycle of destruction. It knew the Cold Ones were on the verge of annihilating multiple species it had established symbiosis with, and it shared a strong desire with this Shepard to prevent further destruction. The only way to do that would be to exterminate the infestation.

It had bestowed upon Shepard its own seed that it knew would grow over time and would provide it with an inexorable connection to her, giving it access to a perspective of her experiences and allowing it to understand the current conflict with the Cold Ones through the eyes of the creatures that were most acutely affected by them. It had learned almost instantly that the home world of these "humans" was under siege by the Cold Ones and was in danger of being utterly destroyed. It had nodes on their world but they were new and had not yet spanned enough of the world for it to gain a full perspective of their existence. Gaining symbiosis with Shepard would be an advantage in understanding their species as well as affecting a change in the conflict at hand.

It had been prepared to establish a similar link with her companion but had sensed that this other human's mind was not strong enough to withstand the union and would lose its autonomy if it did so, which it had promised Shepard would not happen. Instead it had made only the smallest link necessary to gain the companion's perspective and had been pleased with the result.

This new perspective had been an unexpected reward when the pair had awoken after their communion with it. It felt their desire for each other as keenly as it felt a new sprout's desire for sunlight. They seemed to subsist on each other in some strange way it could not fathom, but it was affected nonetheless. Their communion with each other after they had awoken had consumed its attention briefly. When they merged it had felt like an entire galaxy of seeds germinating and growing within the span of a moment, finally bursting forth from the earth to revel in the sunlight for the first time.

Indeed, during its experience of their communion with each other it had encouraged millions of new growths to accelerate their reach for sunlight and had urged them upwards, seeking to enhance the experience it was sharing with the two creatures who communed beneath it.

It could feel the seed it had planted within Shepard beginning to grow even now. It felt that part of itself beginning to form the familiar links within her mind that would allow it to share its knowledge with her, providing her with access to its infinite awareness of the galaxy and the creatures that resided within it. It knew this link with Shepard would be critical in ending the cycle of destruction and exterminating the infestation of Cold Ones for good.

* * *

Shepard was trapped in a cool, comforting darkness. Gradually, tendrils of bright, golden light began to thread their way through her mind. With each new thread came knowledge of things she could barely even conceive of, let alone understand, and she struggled to focus knowing that this was what she had risked her life to attain. She began to follow the threads, curious where they would lead.

There were so many paths to follow she felt herself quickly becoming overwhelmed, until she discovered that if she just focused on a particular idea the necessary path would reveal itself to her. She tested it first by thinking of James and was instantly granted a vision of ... herself? Yes, she saw herself lying still as death in a bed in the _Normandy_ 's med bay, and could feel James' torment over the state she was in. She longed to reach out to him to ease his worry, but knew she still had more to learn. She would return to him soon enough.

She retreated from his perspective and decided to risk finding the answer she'd been seeking all along. She followed the threads as they illuminated before her and was granted a converging and perplexing set of perspectives. Many of the images were familiar to her, and she recognized almost all of them as different views of the Citadel. She observed in wonder as the images eventually pieced themselves together into a revelation.

She could barely restrain herself from rejoicing at the discovery.

* * *

James' head cranked around from where he sat on the stool next to Shepard's bed when he heard the lift open outside the med bay. He stared apprehensively as Liara and Kaidan's forms came into view. The doors to the med bay wooshed open a second later and he stood, looking at them both expectantly.

"We found a few samples," Liara said. "I'll start testing immediately."

"Did you talk to it?" James asked.

"Talk to what, exactly?" Kaidan asked. "There were nothing but giant plants down there. And Keepers, of all things. I saw the Thorian but it seemed dormant, which was a small blessing, if you ask me."

"The Asari... what did she call it... Shiala? That's how Shepard talked to it before. Did you see her?"

Kaidan just shook his head.

James' shoulders slumped and he turned back to Shepard, sitting down and resting his elbows on the edge of her bed. He gripped her hand gently in his again.

"I'm sorry," he heard Kaidan's strained voice from behind him.

James shrugged slightly. He heard footsteps moving closer and the Major's armored figure moved around the bed into his field of vision.

"I'm sorry for earlier, Vega. I was out of line. I was worried about her and you were the easiest target to blame."

"I have no idea what you're referring to, man," James said almost bitterly, keeping his eyes on Shepard's face.

Kaidan sighed. "You know as well as I do."

"You let her go, you said. But did you? Really?" James said with a tinge of accusation as he rested his eyes on Kaidan's face.

Kaidan hesitated then let out a small sigh before saying, "Yes, I did. But that doesn't mean I don't still care about her. I don't think there's a single member of this crew that wouldn't take a bullet for her, but they all know she'd take a bullet for them first." He gazed at Shepard's still form intently for a second before returning his eyes to James. "She already has, clearly."

James caught a hint of blame in the other man's voice and bristled.

"I would give  _anything_  right now to take her place, man," he said emphatically, meeting Kaidan's eyes with a furious glare. His jaw clenched in an effort to contain his anger. He really wanted to stand up and punch the Major squarely in the face and knock that fucking expression off it, but knew that wouldn't solve anything.

"He  _really_  wants to punch you right now, Kaidan, you'd better step back," a ragged voice spoke up.

The two men turned stunned expressions down to the prone figure who had just spoken those beautiful words.

"Lola? Babe?" James said with quiet amazement. He moved one hand up to her face and caressed her cheekbone with his thumb. His eyes locked onto those beautiful pale blue orbs he was worried he'd never see looking back at him again.

The smile she gave him caused tears to well up in his eyes and he buried his head in her hair, clutching her in his arms.

She felt his tears hot against the skin of her bare shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, threading her fingers through the short-cropped hair at the back of his neck and stroking to comfort him. She could feel his body shaking slightly as he quietly cried against her.

"James," she said softly. "I'm okay."

She met Kaidan's eyes and her expression spoke volumes in a second. He nodded slightly and walked out of the med bay. Liara followed closely behind after meeting Shepard's eyes with a look of deep relief and a small, understanding smile.

She felt James' stubbly cheek rough against her skin and his spicy scent strong in her nostrils. In spite of the mood she became instantly aroused at the sensations, but knew it was the Thorian that was provoking the reaction. It seemed to have some strange fascination with the two of them that wasn't unpleasant but did tend to make her examine her reactions more closely. She pushed those feelings aside and concentrated on comforting the man who embraced her so desperately at the moment.

"James," she said again, and he finally sat up, rubbing reddened eyes briskly, trying to hide the evidence of his tears. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, his hands moving once again to touch her, trailing a soft caress up one of her bare arms.

"Lola, thank god you're okay," he whispered and looked into her eyes again as if searching for something.

She had the strangest sense of reunion, as if they'd been apart from each other for eons and were finally together again, even though she knew no more than a day could have passed since their mission. Her gaze intensified and a look of recognition came into his eyes in response. She reached up a hand and gripped the collar of his t-shirt, pulling his face down to hers wordlessly.

When their lips met it was like they were back in the shadow of the Thorian, the intensity of her desire almost overwhelming. But his mouth was gentle, his lips moved softly and slowly against hers, his tongue barely venturing forth to trail against her lips. She felt one of his hands resting warm against her hip and the other still gently gripped one bare shoulder. She realized she was still naked beneath the sheet and suddenly urgently needed his hands on her. There was a burning tingle on her skin and she inhaled sharply as his hand slid up her shoulder and gently cupped her jaw, but he pulled back from her, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

"James," she breathed in a coarse whisper. Her hand slid up his chest to grip him behind the neck and pull him to her again but she felt him resist.

"Are you sure?" he asked, looking deep into her eyes. "Shit, Lola, you were just comatose for the last twenty-four hours. Are you sure it isn't mind controlling you and making you do this?"

It was a valid question, she knew. She was still in control; the Thorian's interest in them had only intensified her reaction to James' closeness. But she also knew she would have wanted him now regardless.

"I don't need to be mind controlled to want you," she said huskily. To the room she said, "EDI, turn off the cameras in the server room. And please make sure we aren't disturbed."

"Yes, Shepard," EDI's disembodied voice replied.

She glanced at the door to the server room, then gave James a meaningful look. A smile began to twitch at the corner of her mouth as she said, "Well, what are you waiting for?"

A slow smile spread across his face and the hungry look she was hoping for entered his eyes finally. He gingerly removed the IV attached to her arm, then stood and lifted her up in his arms, sheets and all. She wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed against his lips when he bent his head to hers again. He carried her into the dimly lit room at the back of the med bay, the doors sliding closed behind him.

She was still gloriously naked under the sheet and he groaned softly at the sight of her when the swath of fabric fell away as he set her on the bench at the back of the room. His hands slid over every bare inch of her he could reach. She arched her back with a soft moan as he cupped both her breasts and bent his head to tease at their tips with his tongue.

Her long legs slid up the backs of his thighs and locked around his hips, pulling his cloth-covered erection against her naked core. She slid her hands up under his shirt, enjoying the feel of his muscles flexing beneath her touch as his hands moved over her skin. The shirt came off and hands continued roaming freely over muscled flesh, creamy white and tanned alike; tongues trailed wetly over salty skin; hungry mouths sought each other out and connected in languid desire.

She pushed his pants down over his hips and they fell to the floor in a puddle of black fabric, leaving him as bare as she was. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, their kiss breaking as they gazed into each other's eyes. He could feel the tip of his cock nudging at her entrance, her petal-soft flesh hot and slick and ready. He turned them both so that his backside was resting on the workbench and let her lower herself onto his shaft. He held her gaze steadily and enjoyed the subtle transformation of her features as the pleasure hit her when she slid inch-by-inch onto him.

"Fuck, you feel incredible," he whispered when he was fully sheathed inside her, but she just stared at him in mute wonder, her heart pounding and her breathing quick and shallow.

Her closeness to him when he'd entered her had caused her to reflexively follow once more that bright strand the Thorian had given her that linked to his mind. She shuddered with unexpected pleasure when she found herself experiencing a mind-shatteringly erotic duality of sensations. She gripped his shoulders and began moving atop him, keeping her eyes locked with his. She felt herself begin to plummet into the depths of his gaze, seeing herself looking back at him, his feelings reflected in her own eyes, his experience of her body moving atop him as clear to her as her own experience of his body beneath and inside her.

The feedback was exquisite and powerful. When he began to orgasm she could feel it from inside and out and finally had to force herself to tear her eyes away from his. She clamped her mouth over his, kissing him fervently. She continued to move her hips against his, letting the rising swell of pleasure carry her along. The room began to spin as their combined sensations were amplified, the wave becoming a tsunami of ecstasy she feared she might drown beneath. She rode it for what seemed like an eternity, and when the final deafening crash hit she arched her back and cried out, feeling like she was exploding into a million pieces, like a sudden gust of wind against a dandelion tuft, leaving bits of her floating unfettered in bright sunlight.

"Holy fucking christ, Lola, where did that come from?" she heard James gasp in a breathless whisper once her senses began working again. She was still wrapped around him and he was resting his sweaty forehead against her shoulder. They were both breathing heavily from the exertion.

She started to laugh softly, "One of the perks of communing with a sentient plant the size of the galaxy, I suppose. Could you feel it, too?"

He shook his head. In a husky voice he said, "All I felt was you, but when our eyes were locked together it was like you could see inside me and knew exactly the right way to move to blow my mind. Not that you didn't already do that. The difference was subtle but fucking incredible."

She hesitated for a second before she responded. "I was, actually. In your head I mean." She met his eyes and saw confusion at her statement. As tempting as it would be, she needed to not make a habit of that, no matter how good it had just felt.

She started to pull away from him and he clutched her tighter with a little grunt of protest. "Hold it, Lola. Not so fast. I'm not done enjoying this... enjoying  _you_." He met her gaze again and said, "So, explain to me what just happened and why you're so sure you're not some mind-controlled sex fiend now."

She sighed and settled against him with her arms resting lightly around his shoulders. Her legs were still wrapped around his hips, her ankles crossed on the discarded sheet that covered the bench behind him. He did feel damn good, she thought, especially considering he was still hard and buried to the hilt inside her.

"While I was out, it was building a connection with me. If I try, I can see the pieces of the galaxy it sees, through symbiotic links it has with other beings. Like you. Or like the Keepers. I could see - and feel - what you saw and felt through that link. I wouldn't call it mind control, but more of a very subtle  _nudge_  whenever I start thinking about making love to you. I think it likes us, especially when we're together like this. " She gave him a sultry smile and began rocking her hips against his again slowly.

He thought he heard her continue her explanation of her link with the Thorian, but was too distracted by the feel of her current link with  _him_  to register her words. He finally pulled her head down and captured her lips with his to silence her as she fucked him. She remained more subdued this time, but it felt no less incredible when they climaxed together for the second time. Afterward he finally relented and released her.

"I figured it out, James. I know how we can win this war," she said as she picked up his discarded t-shirt and pulled it on over her head.

She'd said it so casually that he almost thought he'd misheard her as he pulled on his pants. He was looking at her in his shirt that was about three sizes too large for her, thinking she looked mighty sexy in it when the words finally sunk in.

"Did I just hear you say you know how to beat the Reapers?" he asked, incredulous.

Before she could answer, EDI's voice interrupted them. "Shepard, Dr. Chakwas is growing concerned. The two of you have been in there for some time. I tried to explain that you were fine and did not wish to be disturbed, but if you are - finished - perhaps you could come out and assure her that you are well."

Shepard laughed, "Thank you, EDI. Tell her we're on our way out. Also tell her that we'd like some privacy in the med bay for a bit. She's welcome to stay, of course."

"The privacy screens are now active on the med bay windows, Shepard. Chakwas is waiting for you as well," EDI responded.

"Shepard," the doctor said with obvious relief in her voice when the door to the server room opened and the two of them walked out with matching expressions of sated calm.

The doctor gave them a frustrated glare as she looked them both over. "EDI," she said. "Please have Liara bring some clothes for the Commander."

To Shepard she said, "I trust you're feeling better?" She motioned to the exam table and Shepard obediently hopped up on it to submit yet again to the doctor's tests.

"Much better," she said, giving James a conspiratorial smile.

He sat on the bed across from her and said, "So, are you going to make me guess?"

She shook her head in amazement. She said, "The answer was right under our noses all along, James."

To the doctor she said, "You're not going to find anything, Karin. I'm fine. And I really need to get back to work."

"I'd prefer to keep you under observation for at least the next twelve hours. Liara still needs time to run tests on the spores she and Kaidan recovered. We were hoping it would help explain what happened to you."

"Spores?" Shepard asked, then realized what the doctor referred to. She had been unconscious for a full day without any apparent explanation. They would have gone back down to Feros looking for answers.

She shook her head at the doctor. "The spores won't tell you anything. They didn't actually affect either of us. I was unconscious because the Thorian was establishing a symbiotic connection with me. It took some time to accomplish, but it worked. The Protheans could have learned something from it on the subject of information sharing, if you ask me."

At the doctor's skeptical look, Shepard said, "Don't worry, I'm all me. If you want to run a neural exam you're welcome to."

"Shepard," Dr. Chakwas said more quietly. "I'm also somewhat concerned about your increased libido. It's a little out of character for you to lock yourself in the server room like that."

Shepard barked out a laugh and shook her head. She gestured with her chin to where James stood. "Karin, the only explanation you need for my  _libido_ is standing right there. I admit the Thorian probably enhanced it a bit, but trust me, it hasn't changed that much since we've arrived on Feros. I wasn't exactly alone in the server room." Her eyes twinkled when she looked at James.

The doctor turned to look at James, who was still shirtless and appeared completely unassuming in spite of his bare, rippling muscles and the turn the conversation had taken. He seemed amused, if anything, and raised an eyebrow as the doctor looked at him. Shepard thought she saw the older woman blush when she turned her head abruptly and began to study her Omni-tool intently.

"I suppose those particular concerns don't really have much merit when you put it that way," she said finally, shaking her head slowly. "But I must insist on keeping you under observation, at least when you sleep, for the next day or so." Without looking at James, she added, "You, too, Lieutenant." He didn't object.

Shepard nodded and started dressing in the uniform Liara had just brought in. "Fine, I think I can work with that."

She pulled James' shirt off over her head and tossed it to him playfully, her mood boisterous at finally being able to get back to work now that she had a definite plan of action. She finished dressing and finally coiled her long hair at the back of her head and fixed it with a clip, then headed for the door.

"Hang on, Lola," James said, pulling his shirt back on over his head and rushing to follow her. "You didn't answer my question. How are we going to beat the Reapers?"

"All in due time, James. Right now, we need to get moving."

When they stepped onto the elevator James asked, "And how come it didn't do its full on symbiotic link thingie in my head?"

She grew still for a second and he noticed her eyes become strangely distant, then she said, "I think it was afraid it'd turn your brain to mush if it did. It does like using you as a window, though. It's a little bit of a voyeur."

He snorted, "Sounds like it's a  _lotta_  bit of a voyeur. So you're saying we're going to have a galactic weed watching us have sex for the rest of our lives?"

She shrugged. "Plants like sex, too. It's a small price to pay for saving the galaxy, wouldn't you say?"

She had a point, he thought. Assuming it really had given her the answers, which he was still dying to find out.

When they exited the elevator at the CIC, Shepard headed straight for the galaxy map and punched in the coordinates for the Citadel.

"Joker, take us outa here, we have work to do," she commanded.

"Aye aye, Commander. By the way, it's great to hear your voice again."

"Commander!" Traynor said from her station. "It's so great to see you're okay."

Other enthusiastic greetings came from the crew around the CIC. James stood in the shadows near the elevator and watched her for several moments, finding himself yet again amazed at her resilience and her abundance of energy and focus. He shook his head to himself and turned to leave, but not before she'd turned her head and caught his eye once more. She gave him a flirty little wink that brought a smile instantly to his lips. He responded with a casual salute before turning to leave her to her work.


	13. Azure

James awoke for the third morning in a row to an empty pillow beside him. He blinked sleepily at the indentation that proved to him that Shepard had in fact slept there. She had come to bed late and he could remember the feel of her soft skin sliding against his as she mounted him the way she liked to do. He hadn't quite fully woken up during the experience and it still seemed like it could just as easily have been a dream.

It seemed like he'd gotten to spend more time with her the two nights the Doc made them sleep in the med bay before she allowed them to return to their own bed.  _Their own bed_. He supposed technically it was still just  _her_  bed, but it felt like their  _bed_  and their  _shower_  and their  _shuttle bay_  and their...  _server room._  The last one made him smile as he threw off the covers and headed to the bathroom while trying to imagine other more creative corners of the _Normandy_ they could make  _theirs_.

He turned on the shower, then stood before the toilet for a few seconds berating his hard cock into submission until he could take a proper piss. Once his bladder was emptied he flushed, then moved to stand under the stream of hot water, beginning the work of shifting his mind off her and into gear to start his day. He grabbed the soap and started washing.

The _Normandy_ had docked at the Citadel in the early hours of morning, which meant the usual run-around of restocking, and then who knew what else. He was hoping for some casual time  _out_  with Shepard, but got the sense that wasn't in the cards judging from how she'd been bouncing off the walls the past few days. He couldn't blame her, but it seemed like she'd barely stopped working long enough to sleep, much less have sex. Somehow she still managed to find time for both, just not enough for his satisfaction. Not after the server room.  _Don't go there again, man. Nothing productive will come of it. Time to go to work._

He felt a light draft and turned his head to see Shepard leaning in the open doorway with her head cocked to the side and a small smile on her face.

"You just gonna stand there and watch?" he asked with a smirk, turning to face her and eyeing her uniform.

"You gonna give me a show?" she asked with one eyebrow raised. Her smile widened and her eyes drifted down his soapy chest to where his hands were lathering up between his thighs.

His voice grew a little deeper. "Depends... If I do, will you join me after?" He started stroking himself more deliberately while she watched and got hard again almost instantly.

She sighed and he saw a look of disappointment cross her face. Her eyes met his again and she said, "I can't this morning. I have an early meeting with the Asari councilor. I just wanted to come say good morning to you before I left."

"Oh," he said dejectedly and dropped his hands to his sides. "Well... shit. What am I supposed to do with this now?" He gestured to his soapy hard-on.

She gave him a rueful smile. "I'm sure you'll think of something, James. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, sure. Later, Lola," he said, trying to sound disinterested. He turned back around to face the stream of water from the showerhead as the door shut behind her, leaving him alone with his erection. He stood letting the water cascade over him and watched the suds wash down the drain. He groaned and looked down at his cock, saying, "At least she said good morning."

He finally grabbed the soap, resigned to take care of matters himself. He was soaping up for the second time when he felt a light draft again, followed by a pair of soft, naked breasts pressed up against his back and strong, slender arms wrapping around his chest.

"Hey," he said, surprised. "I thought you had a meeting." He started to turn around.

"Stay there," she said, her breath hot against his neck. He stopped moving. He watched her drift a hand over his wet chest. His breath caught and he tensed slightly when her fingertips teased their way down his taut stomach and continued lower.

"I do," she said throatily. "But I couldn't just leave you like this. I would've been distracted all morning thinking about you." She gripped his cock in one fist and began stroking slowly.

He let out a small gasp at the sensation of her palm slick against his hard, soapy length. "Oh... well, you do what you gotta do, I guess," he said in a breathless voice. Goddamn she felt good.

He felt her lips soft on his shoulder and her tongue trailed up the side of his neck. She nibbled delicately at the flesh behind his ear.

One hand worked his cock deftly while the other explored the rest of his body. He felt her trail her fingertips over his chest, teasing his nipples, sliding down the wet skin of his abdomen across the top of his thigh to cup his balls gently in one palm. He grunted softly at the sensation, his hips twitching in response.

Her other hand kept pumping him, faster now, sliding up over his swollen tip and all the way back down his shaft to his base, squeezing gently as she stroked him. His vision began to blur from the sensations and he had to place his hands against the wall to hold himself up. His breathing quickened and his hips began to twitch rhythmically in response to her strokes. He let out a low, guttural groan and felt her teeth bite gently at his shoulder as his orgasm hit. His cock spasmed in her grip and he watched in a daze as his thick juices painted the steel wall in front of him.

She gave him another kiss on the shoulder before pulling away. He stood disoriented, observing his recent artwork intently as though it had some profound meaning. He barely registered her grabbing a towel and her voice as she left him alone again.

"I'll see you later James," she said, the tone of her words carrying a promise.

"Yeah, sure. Later Lola," he replied distractedly.

* * *

Shepard was on her way out of the embassies after her meeting with the Asari councilor. She immediately tapped a message into her omni-tool. _Done with meeting. Got time for lunch?_

A few seconds later it beeped with the reply.  _Hell yeah. Starving. Apollo's in 10?_

She smiled and tapped back,  _See you in 10._

When she exited the elevator at the Presidium Commons ten minutes later she saw his sturdy form leaning on the railing nearby, gazing at the view. She sidled up next to him and bumped him with her shoulder, leaning on the rail beside him.

"Hey, Lola," he said softly, and turned his head, leaning close to kiss her on the cheek. He lingered there for a second, closing his eyes and inhaling the delicate almondy scent of her. She turned her head and smiled at him, then leaned closer and gave him a slow, lingering kiss on the lips.

"I forgot to do that before I left this morning," she said when she pulled away.

"Oh yeah? I didn't notice," he replied with a grin. She grinned back and turned to walk towards Apollo's.

"How'd the meeting with the councilor go?" James asked as they walked.

Shepard sighed. "I was hoping for more time here, but it looks like we need to turn around and go again. The Reapers are hitting Thessia pretty hard, and it turns out there's a Prothean artifact there that the Asari have kept under wraps all this time. We might be able to learn something from it."

They settled down at a table at the open-air restaurant and James said in a low voice, "But what about your new  _network_. I thought you had all the answers you needed already."

The waiter was promptly at their table and they placed their order.

Shepard resumed the conversation once the waiter had departed.

"I have some of the answers. But part of knowing how to find the answers is knowing which questions to ask, even with my resources. I only have a really broad idea of how we beat the Reapers. I'm still trying to put the pieces together. This artifact might help me figure out what questions to ask next."

James nodded and said, "So I guess it's not as simple as pushing a big red button somewhere that's labeled 'Reaper Nuke', huh?"

She laughed. "If only it could be that simple." She sighed and continued, "There are so many pieces that still need to be put into place. The Crucible isn't complete. Hackett still needs tons of resources and manpower to finish it. I still need to figure out how the Catalyst fits in. And of course there's Cerberus to deal with at every turn. Kai Leng is still out there somewhere and I have no doubt we'll see his face again before we're through."

"Do you have any idea what the Catalyst  _is_  yet?" he asked.

They both paused their conversation as their drinks were placed in front of them a moment later.

"Not exactly," she answered. "But I think the Keepers here on the Citadel have information that can help me figure it out. I was hoping I'd have some time here to... link up with them and maybe get some questions answered."

"You can … link up to them? The Keepers?"

"Yeah, they're Thorian symbiotes, so they're part of the network. But they're pretty mindless creatures, so it's not like... well, like how I link to you. You're the only other  _person_ I've done that with. It's a little… unsettling when I link to you, actually."

"It seemed like you liked it the last time you tried it," he said, his eyes holding hers steadily as he took a swallow of his drink.

She felt heat rising up her chest at the memory and shook her head, trying to remain in the present. When her eyes met his, she saw a look of amusement in them.

Finally she said, "It was... mindblowing, if you must know. Being in your head at the same time that you're... inside me... I had no idea it felt that  _good_  to you." Her voice fell to a whisper and she swallowed. She shuddered slightly at the pleasant memory.

"You do feel good, Lola," he said, his voice rough. "You feel incredible, really. And wherever you were, in my head or in your own, it was worth it, for me at least." He paused for a second, then said, "Just out of curiosity, this morning... were you...?"

She shook her head. "As tempting as it is, I've been trying to avoid it. It isn't like I can read your thoughts or anything, I just see things through your eyes, and get sortof an impression of what you're feeling. If I go deeper I can see memories, but it feels too much like I'm invading your privacy. When we're making love it's a pretty powerful combination. If I'd tried it this morning, I probably would have missed my meeting." She smiled at him ruefully, but he got the sense that, had circumstances been different, she would have given in to the urge.

"Anyway, we were talking about the Thorian, right?" she said in a clear attempt to redirect the conversation to something different.

"If you say so," he said with a knowing smile.

Their food arrived, giving them a welcome excuse for silence.

After munching on his food for a few minutes, James said, "So the Thorian hasn't really helped us at all so far, has it?"

"On the contrary. Remember Shiala?" Shepard asked.

James nodded and she continued. "The Asari we spoke to on Feros was a clone of an Asari that used to work for Saren before he betrayed her and gave her to the Thorian. It can still clone her, and it has. Anderson didn't believe me when I told him he'd have reinforcements, but as we speak there are squads of identical Asari commandos slinging their biotics around at the enemies on Earth. Thorian Creepers, too."

He gave her an uncertain look. "Creepers? What are Creepers?"

"They're the Thorian's version of Husks," she explained. "Cannon fodder."

He gave her a dubious look. "They sound...  _creepy._ Better hope the soldiers are warned before they start popping out or they won't know who's friend and who's enemy."

"Trust me, the Thorian knows who the enemies are. The soldiers will figure it out, just like they did with the Geth."

After several moments of comfortable silence, Shepard asked, "Have you heard any news of your uncle?"

James' brow creased and he pushed back his empty plate, then took a long swallow of his drink. He shook his head and said, "Nothing. All I know is the entire area of the west coast from LA to San Diego is overrun. I just hope he made it out in time."

He grew silent again. It was always the first thing he checked when they were on the Citadel. He hoped that the absence of the name "Emilio Vega" on any casualty lists meant his uncle was still alive and kicking. He'd also checked for "Josh Sanders" again with the same results, and had to wonder if he really cared if his waste of a father had actually survived.

"James," Shepard said gently. "You can talk to me you know."

He met her eyes and sighed. "Yeah, Lola, I know. I've just been thinking a lot about all the little things that brought me here. Even as far back as when I first enlisted. So many things could have gone differently and I never would have ended up part of your crew." His voice trailed off and he looked away. He cast his gaze out over the Presidium for a moment, his mind drifting to the past again before her voice brought him back to the present.

"You're more than just part of my crew, James. You know that," she said softly.

He met her steady gaze and knew she meant it. Hell, he'd known it the first time she'd said she loved him. It still floored him sometimes that she had, but he knew she wasn't the kind of person to throw those words around lightly, and neither was he.

"I know better than to question my luck, Lola, but you have no idea how lucky I feel with you. And it's not just about me and you. The war isn't even over yet and being with you makes me feel like we've already won."

She studied him for a second and said, "Well, we haven't won yet, but if I have anything to say about it, we will. And I want you beside me when we finally pull it off."

"I've got your back, Lola," he said with a grin.

"Of course you do. It's my best side," she said, smiling back.

"Babe, every side of you is your best," he replied, and thought he actually saw her blush a little.

* * *

Thessia was a disaster. The planet was almost overrun by Reapers, the Asari commando squads pushed to their limits. And then Cerberus showed up, horning in on  _their_ target. James heard no end to Shepard's cursing after Kai Leng retreated with the data from the Prothean VI before she'd had a chance to kill the bastard. James had gotten a couple close shots in but the Cerberus operative was blindingly fast and his shields had obviously been enhanced by some kind of Cerberus tech.

But the Reapers were there in force and they had no choice but to retreat as well, reluctantly surrendering the planet to the enemy.

As they quickly boarded the shuttle he glanced at her and thought he'd never seen her so furious before. On her it looked like a slow burn, but he had grown accustomed to reading her moods and knew she was raging deep inside. She wasn't looking at him, or at anyone, but her face had that intense expression that he'd learned you didn't want to step in front of. He knew better than to try to talk to her for awhile, and just hoped she would be cooled down enough later to accept his expertise in distracting her when they were alone together.

They settled into their seats in the shuttle and left it up to Cortez to get them the hell out of dodge. After awhile he noticed that she'd closed her eyes and leaned her head back on her seat. She didn't look in any way relaxed, however.

Once the shuttle had finally breached the turbulent atmosphere and their ride was smoother, he turned his attention to Liara, who was now standing and staring out the window of the shuttle, the horizon of her home world blazing red in the distance.

"Hey, Wings, how're you holding up?" he asked quietly, moving to stand beside her and leaning against the interior wall of the shuttle. He was surprised when she suddenly leaned into him and buried her face against his neck. Unsure what else to do, he wrapped his large arms around her slight frame and held her. He winced slightly at the soreness in his abdomen from where Kai Leng had biotically tossed Liara into him during the fight, just before making his escape. He was actually surprised she'd stayed conscious considering the force of the attack that had knocked the wind from him.

Liara made no sound for several moments, but he was sure he felt hot tears dampening his skin.

"I told them we'd save them," he heard her muffled voice speak with quiet agony.

He did his best to sound comforting in spite of his own internal turmoil over the loss. "You can't blame yourself. Even if Cerberus hadn't shown up, there's nothing we could have done. But the war isn't over yet. There are still Asari to save, and I know if Shepard has anything to say about it, we'll take Thessia back before this is all over."

She nodded her head and pulled away from him, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. She gave him an embarrassed grimace and stepped back.

"I'm... sorry for invading your space like that. I don't usually get so emotional."

"Believe me, I understand. Besides, you're Lola's friend, so I'd like to think that makes you my friend, too. Shit, we've been on enough missions together. Just because we haven't spent much time talking doesn't mean I won't have your back when you need me."

"Thank you, James. You have no idea how much that means to me."

He shrugged lightly in response.

After a moment of silence, she looked at him and asked quietly, "Why 'Wings'?"

"Um... well, your..." he gestured to her head, "They sortof remind me of wings. And I guess I have a thing for wings."

He smiled sheepishly and cast a quick glance at Shepard, who was still sitting quietly with her eyes closed and her jaw tightly clenched. When he looked at Liara again, he thought she looked even sadder than before and worried that he'd hurt her feelings somehow.

"If you'd rather I didn't..." he began, and she shook her head.

"No, I like it," she said with a sad smile. In a near whisper, she said, "My mother used to call me Little Wing, before she died. It reminds me of her."

* * *

They were heading to Horizon next, thanks to Traynor's quick thinking.

As the team was exiting the war room, James felt a gentle squeeze at his elbow and turned his head to see Shepard walking quietly beside him.

"Hey, Lola," he said in a subdued tone.

"Hey, I'm going to spend some time with Liara. I think she needs some cheering up, if that's possible. Do you mind staying scarce for awhile?"

He shook his head. "Anything you need. Hey, do you have enough whiskey?"

She grinned at him, "You read my mind. I don't suppose you have an extra bottle of the good stuff stashed anywhere?"

"I'm your man, Lola. I restocked while we were on the Citadel. Check your underwear drawer."

"You hide the good liquor in my underwear drawer?"

"Can you think of a better place for it?"

She laughed and elbowed him gently in the ribs. "I knew there was a reason I loved you so much, James. Come and join us later if you want. I'll try to save some liquor for you."

* * *

Shepard groaned and covered her face with her forearm. "Don't tell me you saw that video."

Liara giggled drunkenly, "You had to know I'm linked to the _Normandy_ 's security feed."

"EDI!" Shepard called out from where she lay prone on the sofa, her empty glass resting loosely in one hand on her stomach.

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Did you know Liara's been spying on us ... all this time?" she sat up and poured herself a refill. Liara was leaning on one elbow at the other end of the L-shaped sofa, her head towards the fish tank.

"Forgive me, Shepard." EDI's disembodied voice replied. "I was under the impression that you were aware of and had approved Doctor T'Soni's links to our networks. Shall I disable them?"

Shepard vaguely recalled approving something of the sort months ago. She trusted her friend implicitly, after all.

"No, no... I must've forgotten. I actually feel more comfortable knowing you're here, Liara. Even if you are spying on us."

Liara let out a sound of protest, until Shepard raised her glass in a toast. "To spying friends!"

They both laughed and drank.

"Sooo... you saw  _the video_ ," Shepard said after she swallowed. "I'm not sure how I feel about that. What'd you think?" She repositioned on her stomach facing Liara and gazed at her friend attentively with an inquisitive slant to her brow.

Liara hesitated for a second. "Um... I'm not sure exactly what you're asking, Zoe. Do you want a  _critique_?" She paused and stared thoughtfully at her drink before continuing. "It was hard to see much. Mostly all I could see was James, which, as you know, is an impressive sight. You both certainly seemed to be enjoying yourselves, of course. If I'd had audio to accompany the video I might have been able to form a more complete opinion. From a purely scientific perspective, of course." She pursed her lips in a scholarly manner and took another drink.

Shepard nodded sagely in agreement, "Of course." They both were unable to suppress their laughter, however, and broke out into hearty peals that lasted several moments.

When their laughter subsided, Shepard took a deep breath.

"Liara," Shepard said, the syllables of her words drawn out slowly and carefully. "I have a confession to make." She set her drink down on the floor next to her and looked at Liara with a serious expression. Liara sat up and looked at her friend intently.

"I'm listening."

"I love James. I am just crazy in love with him."

Liara gave her an unimpressed look. "Did you  _just_  figure that out?"

"Well, no... but I didn't think  _you_  knew. Shit, Liara, is there anything you don't already know about me?"

Liara sat thinking for a moment. "Not a lot, no," she said with a small shake of her head.

Shepard was distracted from the retort she was about to make by the sound of the door to her quarters opening. James' heavy booted footsteps brought him down the steps and into view. He greeted Liara with a smile and a nod and walked over to Shepard, leaning down to her uptilted face and kissing her softly. He'd clearly been working out and was radiating heat and the familiar sharp aroma of gun oil mixed with his own spicy scent. The combination caused a sudden heat to build between her thighs.

"What is this, a pajama party?" James asked with a smirk, eyeing their casual attire and looking at the nearly empty whiskey bottle. He picked up the bottle and looked at Shepard with a raised eyebrow.

"We have another whole bottle," she said defensively.

"Lucky for you," he said. "I might have had to take drastic measures if you didn't leave me some."

"You want me to pour you one?"

"In a bit. Gonna hop in the shower first - I don't think I'm fit for polite company at the moment."

Shepard and Liara both glanced at each other and snorted out simultaneous mirthful laughter at his comment, clearly very drunk and sharing some private joke. He just left the room with a shake of his head. Shepard watched him intently as he walked back up the steps headed for the shower.

She noticed Liara's attentive gaze on her after the door to the bathroom closed and the sound of the shower started up.

"What?" she asked.

Liara only smiled. "I don't need to be the Shadow Broker to be able to tell how you two feel about each other, Zoe."

Shepard turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling with a sigh. "I suppose it's a small thing, but I almost feel guilty sometimes about how good we feel together. He makes me feel like a teenager... only better, because there's none of that...  _hesitance_  that you get from lack of experience. But it isn't just physical. He's so honest, and direct. And funny..."

She rolled onto her stomach again to continue cataloging James' positive attributes, but paused when she looked at Liara and said, "Did you just  _roll your eyes_  at me?"

Liara spoke in a mildly mocking tone, her laughter barely contained, " _And he's so sweet and he has such a nice ass and his phallus is so huge._ "

Shepard laughed out loud. "Leave it to the scientist to use the word  _phallus_."

Liara shrugged and took a sip of her drink. "Sorry, I'm not familiar with the more colloquial terms for male genitalia, considering Asari don't have them."

"I like ' _cock'_ ," Shepard said, matter-of-factly, at exactly the same moment the bathroom door whooshed open and James stepped out amidst a cloud of sweet-smelling steam.

Without missing a beat, James said, "Well, that's a relief. I was getting a little worried with all the time you've spent with Asari lately."

He strode back into the room wearing only a towel that barely fit around his muscular hips.

"Hey, Hot Stuff," Shepard said in a flirty, whiskey-deepened voice. He gave her a sideways smile as he moved to the covered compartment in the corner that she'd cleared out for him to keep his things in.

He dropped his towel and swiftly drew on a pair of clean sweatpants, not quite oblivious to the rapt silence behind him. He draped the discarded towel over a hook in the bulkhead.

"You know you're the only one for me, right?" Shepard said, sitting up and handing him a drink as he walked over and bent to kiss her upturned face again. He only smiled and caressed her cheek lightly in response. He moved to settle himself in a nearby chair, her eyes tracing the rippling muscles of his shirtless torso as he sat.

"You two are so perfect," Liara said dreamily.

"We'll be more perfect when the Reapers are dead," James said, and Shepard looked at him with a surprised expression. She'd been just about to say the exact same thing.

It was then that Shepard noticed Liara sitting up with a determined expression on her face, studying them both intently.

"James. Zoe. I have a... favor of sorts to ask you both, now that you're here together."

"Sure, Wings. Anything you need," James answered after taking a long swig of his drink.

"Just hear me out first before you agree to it," Liara said with a slight shake of her head. Her hands were gripping the edge of the sofa tightly. She seemed anxious, Shepard thought.

"Okay, Liara. What is it?" Shepard asked, concerned. What in the world would Liara ask for that she couldn't get on her own?

Liara took a deep breath and met their eyes one at a time.

"I'd like to meld with the two of you," she blurted in a rush.

"Liara..." Shepard gasped, sitting up straight and moving to the edge of her seat. "What brought this on?"

James looked confused for a second before asking, "Wait... you're saying you want to have little blue babies with... both of us?" He gestured between himself and Shepard with his drink before tilting the glass back and drinking the rest of it in one long swallow. He poured himself another.

Liara focused her response on James, her expression tense. "Let me explain. I have no idea - none of us do - what the outcome of this war will be. It isn't about me wanting a child. Shepard and I have been close friends for a long time, and you... you seem to bring out the best in her. I've seen the two of you together long enough to know how special your relationship is. I just want the option, if I survive, to see all the best qualities of you both live on together, especially if either of you are killed."

To Shepard, she said earnestly, "It's like the time capsule I showed you before... only different. This way, it's actual flesh and blood that will carry on your traits. It's... a kind of gift, I guess. And I'd like to give it to the two of you. Thessia falling has made me examine closely who matters most to me, and you are at the very top of my list."

"So, you're not asking to have a threesome with us?" James asked.

"James!" Shepard admonished.

"What? It's a valid question," he stated defensively.

"Not unless that's something both of you are comfortable with," Liara responded.

"Liara?" Shepard looked at her friend with an expression of surprise. "Is that what you were hoping for?"

Liara seemed flustered, but forced her eyes to meet Shepard's. "I care very deeply about you. You're my closest friend and you have been for some time. Is it unreasonable of me to want to preserve something of you for the future? Something more than a silly hologram?"

Shepard's brow creased, "But, Liara... you know James and I are together."

"I know, and I'm not trying to come between you." Liara sighed deeply, "I apologize if I'm not making myself clear. I want to join with the both of you because I... I'm afraid I'll lose you completely otherwise. I want to keep a part of you both, and I want to keep you together, which is why I have to meld with you at the same time. So your traits are stored together."

Shepard was deeply touched by her gesture, but was still confused. "So why are you so anxious to ask?"

"Zoe, you already know the experience of melding by itself is extraordinarily intimate. Understanding how intensely physical your relationship with James is, it wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility for such a joining - with the three of us involved - to turn into something physical once the melding is complete. It isn't something I've ever tried before, but the idea does appeal to me. I just don't want to do it unless both of you are comfortable with the idea."

"Liara... I..." Shepard began, but paused when she noticed that James had grabbed a pillow and was now holding it on his lap. Her eyes narrowed when she looked at him. He caught her glance and shrugged at her with a little half smile.

"James? I'd like to hear what your thoughts are," she said in a measured tone.

He cleared his throat. "I love you, Lola. Never forget that. But the idea of seeing you and a hot Asari go at it... No man with any cojones would say no to that." He took a deep breath, then said in a more sober tone, "But in all seriousness, I think Liara's offer is worth considering, even if it's just to preserve  _your_ traits - not sure why she'd want mine, to be honest. The chances of us surviving to pop out our own rugrat are pretty slim, you have to admit."

Shepard was struck speechless for a second. They'd never even toyed with the subject of kids before, and for good reason. But what Liara was offering was certainly much more than that.

"I guess we know where he stands on the issue," she said in a subdued tone, her mind churning over the possibilities.

"James," Liara said. "I'm asking you because I believe you two belong together. If I lose you both in this war, I want to know you're still together in some fashion."

"Zoe, what about you?" Liara asked expectantly, turning to Shepard.

"I thought only Asari Matrons had children. Aren't you a bit young for that?" Shepard asked abruptly.

Liara seemed surprised by the question. "Traditionally, yes, but we are free to choose when to settle down and raise children. I hadn't considered when that might happen, actually. It might not be for another century or more, but could certainly be earlier depending on the circumstances."

Shepard studied James intently for a moment and he held her gaze steadily. She was struck by how resolute he was. This wasn't about sex for him any more than it was for her, she realized. This was about  _forever_.

"Okay," she finally said with a slow nod of her head. "Tonight? Now?" she asked uncertainly, looking at Liara.

Liara nodded and stood. "I would take advantage of the time we have. We may not get another opportunity."

It was almost surreal to Shepard once they began. She proceeded with a kind of detachment as Liara took charge, settling herself on her knees in the center of the bed and directing them each to kneel on either side of her. She had them both link hands around her.

James cleared his throat and said nervously, "I've never... ah...  _melded_  before. This isn't going to hurt, is it?"

Liara smiled calmly and shook her head. "No. I'm not sure how best to describe it, but it's generally a pleasant experience. Are you ready?"

Shepard met James' eyes and squeezed his hands gently, then looked at Liara. "Ready."

Liara lifted her hands up and gently rested one palm against Shepard's cheek and the other against James' with her fingertips lightly touching their temples. Shepard sensed Liara's biotics begin to envelop them in a soft field of energy and heard her utter the familiar words with a strange intensity that seemed to echo deep inside her mind.

" _Embrace Eternity_."

* * *

Shepard and James held each other's gaze over Liara's slightly bowed head as the _Normandy_ slowly dissolved around them. Finally it seemed as if just the three of them were floating weightless in empty space. Liara's biotics swirled in a translucent blue cloud around them and gradually Liara herself seemed to become insubstantial before Shepard's eyes, her body transforming into a bright cloud of swirling energy that drew James and Shepard into it.

Shepard felt her body begin to tingle intensely from head to toe. It was a pleasant sensation that intensified until she felt like her skin was gradually turning to mist and evaporating. The feeling slowly seeped into her muscles, then her bones, dissolving her body and leaving nothing behind but a network of branching, sparking nerves and impulses.

She felt like she was made entirely of light and energy. An intense, insistent pull began to draw her in and she felt a sharp snap as Liara's energy abruptly pulled them both to the center. Shepard's energy instantly began to intermingle with James' with Liara's blue light swirling in and around them both, continuing to urge them closer until they were finally indistinguishable from each other. Every particle of her being seemed to merge with his, and they seemed to ignite each other into a million pulsing points of light, suspended within a sustaining blue haze.

They lost themselves completely in the swirling cloud. Nothing remained of consciousness or emotion. Nothing remained but pure sensation and memory, which they explored for an eternity.

When the sensations began to recede and she could feel her body once again it took Shepard a second to get her bearings. Her skin still tingled pleasantly and she realized that Liara's arm had relaxed and her hand had drifted down and was resting on Shepard's breast. Shepard felt an uncontrollable need to maintain the contact, to try to replicate that metaphysical closeness through her physical body. She was still rocked by the experience, her eyes closed and her chest heaving.

"Liara," she said huskily. "James... I need..." She gasped as she felt James' large fingers squeeze her hands and seem to pull at her with gentle insistence. The palm at her breast drifted lower and she moaned at the soft contact as fingertips slowly traced her nipple beneath the thin fabric of her shirt.

She felt the figure nearest her shift position, turning towards her and moving closer.

"Zoe," Liara whispered, her breath hot against Shepard's neck. Smooth hands drifted beneath her shirt and soft lips were against her throat, the sensations causing lightning bolts of pleasure to shoot across her skin. Her eyes shot open and were met by James' smoldering gaze. She pulled him towards her, some irrational piece of her mind believing she could pull them both into her again and hold them there forever.

"Oh god, I want you inside me," she breathed and thought she read agreement in his eyes.

"Yes," Liara whispered in understanding, echoing the look in James' eyes. Liara began pulling Shepard's shirt up, and Shepard released James' hands, which immediately began searching for something new to touch. Finding Liara's slight body in easy reach he snaked his hands around her torso and worked at the zipper of her skin-tight jacket, pulling it down to reveal bare, supple breasts. As his large, calloused hands caressed her soft skin and teased at the tips of her breasts, Liara became more insistent with Shepard's clothing, pulling her shirt off over her head. Her soft lips met Shepard's in a gentle kiss, her tongue exploring slowly. Her hands drifted back down over the creamy swell of Shepard's naked breasts, her fingertips swirling and caressing over their rosy tips.

Shepard's hands fell to Liara's shoulders and pushed the fabric of her jacket down, peeling it off and tossing it away, giving James access to more bare Asari skin. He shifted closer to them, his lips grazing over Liara's shoulder and up her neck. She moaned softly against Shepard's lips as his tongue trailed over the soft ridges of flesh that lined the back of her neck.

Liara's mouth left hers and began to drift lower, over bare breasts, her tongue trailing across her flesh as she moved. Her lips captured one pink tip between them and Shepard gasped in pleasure as she began to gently suck. Liara's hands pulled at the waistband of her pants and she raised her hips, allowing her pants to be pulled down over them.

James met her eyes with an intensity she'd never seen before. He reached one hand up to fill the void Liara had left, tracing Shepard's jawline softly with his large fingertips. His thumb traced the contour of her lower lip and her tongue snaked out and languidly licked the tip. She saw his lips part in anticipation as he slipped the thick digit between her soft lips. His eyelids fluttered closed as she began sucking gently, his lower body unconsciously grinding against the pair of clothed hips in front of him.

Shepard released his thumb when Liara gently pushed her back onto the bed and sighed softly as her friend began kissing her way down her torso, slowly pulling her pants the rest of the way off. Liara felt a tug at her own waist and raised her hips up for James to pull her pants down. With surprising strength, she pulled Shepard's hips closer to her and bent her head. Shepard cried out in ecstasy as Liara's lips and tongue met the eager, pulsing nub of pleasure between her thighs.

James met Shepard's eyes again as she lay back. He felt a low rumble build in his chest at the sight of her creamy breasts heaving in pleasure and her dark locks in a sunburst around her head on the pale covers of the bed. He watched transfixed for a moment as Liara's head moved slowly between Shepard's thighs, causing her to moan and writhe in ecstasy. He urged Liara's pants the rest of the way off and she lifted each knee to accommodate him while she continued to work attentively at Shepard's core. He gripped Liara's pliant bottom with both hands and slid his fingertips between her thighs, gently exploring. He heard her moan in pleasure and she wriggled slightly at his tender touch.

He found her warm and wet, much like he knew Shepard must be at this moment. He stroked her gently for several experimental seconds. She was shaped a little differently, he could feel, but she felt no less alluring and feminine to him than Shepard did. He stripped his pants off quickly, then after contemplating briefly, he lay down on his back with his head between her thighs. The light in the room was too dim for him to get a visual lay of the land, so he relied on the sensitive flesh of his tongue to explore her soft folds.

She was completely smooth and soft as velvet. Her core felt like multiple layers of intricately textured petals beneath his tongue. As he explored he discovered a cluster of three small, soft buds that seemed to quiver of their own volition when his tongue came into contact with them. He heard her moan softly in response, her hips twitching slightly over his mouth.

He was only marginally aware of shifting movements on the bed around him as Liara's hips moved closer to his mouth. He gasped against her when he felt the familiar hot, slick friction of Shepard's sex sliding down his length and enveloping him. He dropped his head back on the bed and groaned in pleasure at the exquisite sensation as she began moving atop him. Yes,  _that_  was where he belonged.

When he opened his eyes again, the previous view had reversed itself and he realized Liara had turned around, placing her knees on either side of his chest, her quivering azure center poised once again over his eager mouth.

He tried to get his bearings, the intense physical sensations in the aftermath of their earlier shared experience were nearly overwhelming. He felt Shepard's core gripping him tightly, seeming to slowly milk the life from him. The mildly floral scent of Liara's sex was poised over his mouth, an offering to him.

He snaked his tongue out, raising his head up slightly to taste her again. He gripped the backs of her thighs and slid his hands up to her center, slipping his fingers between her thighs and exploring as he worked her with his tongue. His discovered her tight entrance nestled in the center of the small buds he'd discovered earlier and teased at it gently with his tongue, slipping deeper and tasting gently between the tight flesh.

"Oh goddess!" Liara gasped when she felt James' thick tongue find her opening and tease his way past the barrier. The pleasure was almost unbearable and she reached for Shepard, placing one hand on James' muscular stomach for balance as the other woman leaned towards her and captured her mouth in a hungry kiss. One of Shepard's hands drifted over Liara's breast, cupping it and teasing at the tip, exciting her further.

She gripped Shepard by the back of the neck with one hand and slid her other hand down Shepard's stomach between her thighs, wanting to feel the other woman's soft folds, still fascinated by how similar they felt to her own. She was briefly distracted by the feel of the thick, hard muscle of James' sex that was buried deep inside Shepard. He was so undeniably  _male_  and she understood why Shepard desired him. She gripped his thick flesh tightly for a second, enjoying the feel of it as his hips thrust up and he plunged deep into her friend. She slipped her fingers back up to feel the soft petals of Shepard's sex, finding the tender bud at the top and caressing it gently.

Shepard gasped against Liara's mouth as she felt the woman's gentle yet expert touch between her thighs again. "Liara," she gasped huskily, gripping the back of Liara's neck and pulling her into a deeper kiss as she began feeling the pleasant surge of ecstasy building between her thighs. She heard James begin to groan in pleasure and struggled to maintain her steady movements against his hips.

James groaned at the sensations of the two women touching him. He felt Shepard's familiar tightness around his thick, hard length combined with the soft, alluring textures of Liara's sex over his mouth, then Liara's hand gripping him as he thrust into Shepard. It was a struggle to even focus on the task at hand. He finally managed to find some kind of mental balance between all the sensations and resumed his steady attention to the tight opening that he'd discovered made Liara quiver and moan. He slid his fingertips closer and slipped one in slowly past her soft entrance as he licked the small buds that surrounded it.

He felt Shepard's familiar low, escalating moans and gasps and the accompanying clench of her muscles around him that signaled her climax. Then he heard Liara's cry of pleasure and felt her hips begin to twitch and her slick flesh quivered over his mouth. Her flavor abruptly changed to something almost spicy that tingled tantalizingly at the back of his throat, the sensation adding to the buildup of pressure in his shaft as he felt his own orgasm take over. His hips began to buck against Shepard's almost of their own volition. He gripped Shepard's hips with both hands and gasped against the soft flesh above him as he finally came, thrusting his hard sex into Shepard violently.

It took them several unspeaking moments to recover before they slowly disentangled themselves from each other and silently crawled beneath the covers together. Shepard felt James nestle tightly against her back and Liara's smooth skin against her chest. She wrapped an arm around her friend and pulled her closer, their thighs entwining beneath the sheets. She fell asleep, exhausted but still tingling from the joining, feeling like it would be painful to be parted from either of them just yet.

Sometime during the night, soft touches and caresses began again. She felt James trail his lips over her bare neck, and his hands caressed her naked flesh. She still felt the pleasant charge beneath her skin that the joining had left behind, sending jolts of pleasure through her body where his fingertips made contact.

She heard his gruff, desperate whisper in her ear, "I need to be inside you, Lola."

She rolled onto her back and he was above her instantly, his mouth hot on hers, his tongue plunging past her lips, insistent and hungry. He parted her thighs with his knees and she lifted her legs to either side of him, raising her hips up slightly, her core open and ready. She was eager to be made whole again by his hard, penetrating flesh. He buried himself inside her with a low groan of ecstasy and she gasped in pleasure as he began moving with slow, steady thrusts. He continued kissing her and exploring her body with one hand as he moved inside her, making love to her slowly and deliberately.

"Oh, James," she sighed in pleasure against his lips when their kiss broke. He kissed her neck and shoulders softly, continuing to rock his hips against hers. She gripped him tightly with her legs, sighing again as he began whispering her name over and over. They were one again and she wanted this feeling to last forever.

" _Forever,"_  she whispered and she felt the delicious clench of muscles as their climax overtook them both.  _"Forever,"_  he whispered back huskily as he spasmed inside her.

When they awoke in the morning the need to have each other overwhelmed them yet again. It wasn't until after they were finished that they noticed Liara was gone.


	14. Wild Wild West

"She's... kinda hot," James commented as Miranda strode away with her younger sister at her side.

Shepard snorted at his statement.

"She was genetically engineered to be perfect, so don't think it's some kind of revelation on your part," Shepard said, sounding more amused than condescending. James was still amazed by her reactions to the most inconsequential things. For one, she never seemed to be threatened when he commented on the attributes of other women. But he had to admit it was a fairly uncommon occurrence.

"Well... I'd say the same thing about you if you wore  _that_ ," he replied. "And I'm pretty sure you're not genetically engineered."

She shook her head but was unable to suppress a smile.

"Are you suggesting I should get new armor, James?" she asked.

He muttered in a soft voice, just out of Garrus' earshot but loud enough for her to hear, "Actually, if I have a choice, I prefer you naked."

Shepard held back a laugh as she spoke into her headset, "Cortez. We need a pickup at the tower." The pilot's reply of  _"Roger that"_ was almost instantaneous.

Shepard eyed James somewhat longingly. In a husky voice, she said, "The feeling is mutual."

He felt a warmth settle in his gut as they began making their way back to the landing zone outside the tower. He was looking forward to getting her back to her quarters once the mission debrief was over. It was rare for her to be in a positive frame of mind after a mission lately and things were looking up now that they had a tracer on Kai Leng and could follow him back to Cerberus headquarters. The lair of the beast. Well, one of them, at least.

Something very subtle had changed between them since the night with Liara. He felt even closer to Shepard now. When they were alone, it seemed as though they couldn't keep from touching each other, even if they weren't fooling around. It was hard for him not to reach out and touch her now, but he knew the gesture would be pretty pointless with all the armor covering her skin.

"Lola, have you talked to Liara since... you know," he asked quietly.

"No. I should, though. I don't want her to think I'm avoiding her," Shepard said.

"Well, it seems like she's avoiding  _me_ , so if you get a chance, try to find out what gives."

Shepard gave him a sidelong glance, thinking she might have an idea why Liara would be avoiding him, but she didn't want to talk about such an intimate detail in front of Garrus. Instead, she eased a bit closer to him as they walked and slipped one gauntleted hand into the gap between the heavy plates that covered his ass and his upper thigh. She squeezed gently and then let out a yelp of surprise when he suddenly grabbed her wrist and spun, pressing her against a nearby wall.

Their armor scraped together as he pressed his body against hers. His eyes were filled with intense heat and his jaw was clenched, but his expression betrayed his amusement, the corners of his mouth tilted up in a wicked little smile. She met his eyes with delighted challenge, grinning at him.

"Don't start something in public that you aren't prepared to finish, Lola," he said softly against her ear. "I  _will_ lay you down and fuck you right here in front of Garrus if you tempt me hard enough."

"Is that a promise?" she whispered back in challenge, nudging gently at his codpiece with one knee.

He groaned and pressed his lips hotly against hers, penetrating her mouth with his tongue, which she met eagerly with her own.

Garrus cleared his throat and spoke from nearby, his voice mockingly patient with a tinge of sarcasm. "If you two need a moment alone, just let me know. I can have Lieutenant Cortez wait - I'm sure he'll understand. It's not like we're on a mission to save the galaxy or anything."

She pushed James away abruptly. She maintained a subtle smile when she said enthusiastically, "We have work to do, James. We have a Cerberus stronghold to breach and an assassin to kill. And the Illusive Man, too, if we're lucky. Then we have to end this  _fucking_ war."

"Amen to that," James said as he followed her out of the tower, thinking  _"I love that woman."_

* * *

Shepard left James in the shuttle bay and made her way to the war room for her usual debrief with Admiral Hackett. She was a little giddy with excitement over their recent development and was eager to get the _Normandy_ moving again, so she kept the details brief and to the point. She had to admit to herself that she was also eager to get James alone and do naughty things to him once they finally had some free time, which would be any minute now.

When she exited the war room she quickly ordered Joker to plot a course to the Horsehead Nebula and then headed to the elevator after a terse command to Traynor that she not be disturbed.

She was about to head to her quarters but punched the button to take her to the crew deck instead. She had a strange feeling something was going on with Liara and she needed her friend ready to fight.

"Hello, Shepard," Liara said when she stepped through the doors.

" _Shepard_ , is it?" she began to tease but then amusement was suddenly replaced by concern. Liara was sitting hunched over a terminal and Shepard thought her friend seemed a little pale and she definitely seemed tired. The normally familiar biotic energies in the room seemed off, too.

"Are you okay, Liara?" She walked over to her friend and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. Liara shook her head slowly, then let out a deep sigh.

"The double melding took a lot out of me. My biotics have been fluctuating erratically ever since and I can't seem to get them back to normal."

"Is this an unusual reaction to a joining?" Shepard asked.

"It's uncommon, but not unexpected if an Asari overextends herself during a joining. I thought I would be strong enough, but I was wrong. That's why I didn't stay longer. I did enjoy the evening, but I also thought you and James would prefer to be alone."

"I would prefer it if you weren't sick, Liara," Shepard said sternly. "What can I do to help?"

"Short of me conceiving a child, which  _isn't_ an option, the only thing that will help is another biotic strong enough to regulate my energy."

"I'll go talk to Javik right now," Shepard said immediately and turned to go.

"No! Zoe, please don't ask Javik for help. I couldn't..." she sighed again. "I can't ask him, not after the argument we had."

Shepard thought her friend seemed unusually flustered over the idea of requesting help from the prothean.

"Liara, he's the only option. You'll just need to get over being angry with him and let him help you."

Liara hesitated before responding. "I'm not angry with him anymore... it's just that he's... he might..." she sighed and gave Shepard a forlorn look.

Understanding hit Shepard and her eyebrows shot up. "You're in love with him, aren't you? Liara, you can tell me these things, you know."

"I know. It's just complicated. Javik can be so infuriating, but I believe deep down he is a very caring individual. And he never does anything without a good reason. After giving it some thought I realized he wouldn't have told me the truth if he didn't care about me in some way. Which just makes it that much harder to ask him for help."

She paused and shook her head after a moment, then took a deep breath and said, "I just can't stop thinking about the other night, and the things I felt. James was so gentle. I know Asari are traditionally a very sexualized race, but I suppose you could say I'm a holdout. That was... the first time anyone's touched me quite like that."

Shepard hadn't realized Asari could blush, but Liara was clearly blushing now.

"He does have a talented tongue," Shepard said with a knowing smile.

Liara rolled her eyes and said, "This isn't a joke. You know if Javik touches me he'll  _see_  all that and I don't want him to think that I... that James and I... or you... dammit, Zoe!"

"Liara," Shepard said gently. "You need help. Javik can help you. You'll just have to give him the benefit of the doubt that he won't hold your memories against you. I'm going to go talk to him now."

Liara was about to continue arguing but Shepard had already left the room.

* * *

After ensuring the prothean would agree to help Liara, Shepard finally made it back to her quarters. When she entered, she found James seated at her desk in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else. He was apparently studying news reports on the 'net and seemed to be engrossed, but turned his head with a smile when he heard her come up behind him.

"Hey, Lola," he said in greeting. She traced a soft caress over his bare shoulders. He shivered slightly beneath her light touch.

"Just gonna shower," she said softly and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek before heading into the bathroom.

After some time of anticipating her return, James began to wonder what was taking her so long. She'd been in the shower for ages, it seemed. He turned his head from the screen before him and studied the door to her bathroom, his brow creased in concern.

Finally he heard the rush of water cease and a few moments later the door whooshed open and she emerged, dressed in the familiar short silk robe that barely covered her thighs. Her hair was still wet and the moisture had soaked through her robe over her breasts, making the sheer, white fabric almost transparent. The outline of one erect pink nipple was visible between the dark tendrils of her wet hair where it fell over her chest. His eyes drifted over her from head to toe, and he felt the usual stirring of desire accompanied by a pleasant tightening between his thighs.

She smiled at him and strode towards him, then rested herself comfortably across his thighs, draping one arm over his broad, muscular shoulders. One of his arms went around her waist and his other hand rested on her bare knee, his fingertips almost unconsciously began to caress her silky skin.

"Hey," she said in a quiet voice, gazing into his eyes.

"Hey yourself," he said huskily in response and kissed her. Her lips were soft and warm and her tongue teased at his, inviting deeper contact, and he was eager to oblige.

As they kissed his hand drifted slowly up her bare thigh, caressing her skin gently as he went. She sighed against his mouth when his hand slipped beneath the bottom hem of her robe and his thumb brushed over the soft mound between her thighs, but he drew back in surprise.

"Lola..." he breathed in amazement. "What did you do?"

She pulled away from their kiss and met his eyes with a frank expression and a subtle smile.

"I was just curious what it would feel like," she said, studying his reaction.

"And?" he asked, eager to explore her further but more curious about her motivations than anything.

"It feels good so far... especially when you touch me like that," she said huskily.

He suddenly realized his fingertips were betraying his intentions and were actively sliding in slow caresses over the now completely bare lips of her sex. She had spread her thighs slightly to give him easier access.

His chest rumbled in appreciation as his fingertips continued to drift over her neatly shaved skin. He shouldn't have been surprised, knowing her. She didn't do things half-assed and this was no exception. She'd divested herself of every last bit of the soft, black fringe he'd become so accustomed to touching when they were intimate. But this... this intrigued him to no end and would require a _lot_ more exploration. She gasped softly as his fingertips made their way over her smooth skin, searching out and touching every last inch of her that was now exposed to him.

"Do you like it?" she asked in a throaty whisper.

"Mmm..." was all she heard as he continued to explore. She watched his face intently as she felt his fingertips trace over the now bare outer folds of her sex. When he met her gaze his eyes were filled with barely contained lust. He trailed his fingertips down, teasing along the edge of her delicate, velvety center. He moaned softly when he discovered how slick she was from arousal. He slipped his fingertips up along the other side of her, enjoying the feel of her soft, naked core beneath his touch. His touch drifted down again and she gasped when he slipped one thick digit in deep and then drew it back out, gliding gently up her very center to tease at her swollen bud.

"Lola," James said gruffly. "You have no idea how hot it is to feel you this way."

"Do you want to do something about it?" she asked breathlessly, her voice rough with desire.

He kissed her passionately and raised his hand up to push the soft fabric of her robe down, exposing the creamy skin of her shoulders and breasts. He slid his other hand softly up her back and trailed kisses over every inch of her skin within his reach, finally bending his head to her breasts and teasing at their tips with his tongue.

"Stand up for a sec," he said, urging her off his lap so he could remove his pants. She stood with her back to him and let the skimpy robe fall to the floor, leaving her completely naked before him. She heard a deep murmur of appreciation from behind her, then felt his strong hands gripping her hips and pulling her back against him. She sat with her back flush against his heavily muscled chest and he urged her thighs apart again so he could resume his earlier explorations.

"You are so fucking perfect." James said to her, his breath hot against her shoulder. She could feel his bare sex hard against her backside and wanted desperately to have him inside her, but he seemed content to just continue touching her for now. She felt him move her hair over her shoulder and remembered how much he liked this angle of her. She leaned forward slightly and deliberately caused her biotics to pulse, eliciting a soft moan from him as her tattoo illuminated. She felt his cock twitch against her behind and reached a hand back to stroke him gently, smiling to herself at the low groan she heard from him in response.

She rested against him again and sighed when his lips drifted over her neck and shoulder, his hands still exploring. One large hand cupped her breast, his thumb avidly drifting back and forth over her nipple while his other hand was busy between her thighs. Her heart was racing and her breath was beginning to come in quick gasps at the buildup of pleasure he was causing. His teasing was driving her far too close to the edge and she grabbed the hand that was steadily stroking her sex, holding him still.

"I want you inside me when I come," she whispered breathlessly over her shoulder. She heard a low growl that she took for assent and then shifted slightly, leaning forward and placing her feet on the floor on either side of his legs.

She raised her hips up and reached back through her thighs, finding his hard length throbbing and ready. She gripped him in her palm and stroked him for a second, enjoying the hot, smooth feel of his sensitive skin. She felt several droplets of his juices that had escaped and slicked them over his tip, swirling her thumb around the thick head of his cock until he groaned and twitched his hips in response to her contact. She poised her slick sex over him, sliding him against her wet folds in a slow spiral, enjoying the feel of the contact against her bare flesh that was just as swollen with need as he was.

"Lola, you're killing me," he groaned and she felt his fingertips bite into the flesh of her hips. She positioned his tip at her opening and slowly lowered her hips, sighing in pleasure when she had encompassed him fully. His hand drifted back between her thighs as she began moving atop him. She worked her strong legs to raise and lower herself in a steady rhythm, impaling herself over and over on his thick sex.

"Goddamn you feel good," she heard from behind her and shivered when his fingertips traced the outlines of her tattoo before he slid his hand back around to cup her breast.

His fingers were moving in quicker circles over her sex, gently massaging her swollen bud. She felt her climax building slowly, the feel of his thick, hard flesh buried inside her intensifying the sensations. She increased her pace atop him and heard his low moan in response, the hand that wasn't between her thighs drifted back down to her hip and gripped her tightly again.

She knew he was getting close when she heard him begin urging her on in a gruff voice,  _"Oh, fuck yeah, Lola. Ride me hard. Fuck you feel good. Ride me, baby."_

The sound of his voice sent chills of pleasure through her and she began to undulate her hips more quickly, his fingertips still steadily working at her sex as she moved. She felt his muscles tense when he began to come and he barked out a harsh cry. The feel of his violent spasms inside her threw her over the edge.

He drew her back against him tightly when he felt her begin to peak. He kept working his fingertips over her slick, swollen nub, continuing to thrust his thick length into her as the pleasure spasmed through her. His lips brushed passionate kisses along her jaw and one hand gripped her breast, teasing her nipple mercilessly. She lost contact with the floor and with reality as her body was consumed by her orgasm. His voice was hot in her ear as he whispered, " _That's it, come for me, baby."_

She gasped and cried out his name and he groaned in delicious ecstasy at the feel of her spasming beneath his fingertips and her muscles clenching him over and over. Her climax seeming to last for a good minute.

When their muscles finally relaxed, she sank back against him bonelessly and they both attempted to catch their breath. His arms were encircling her, their fingers entwined with each other, and his mouth was against her ear, murmuring soft words of endearment. " _Te amo, Lola. Quiero estar contigo para siempre._ "

Her mind wasn't quite coherent enough to register his words - she thought they might have been in Spanish anyway - but the sound of his voice was causing sweet shivers to course down her spine. She sighed in sated bliss.

"Mmm, I could stay like this forever," she said softly.

He chuckled against her neck and kissed her damp skin. "So could I, but I have other plans for you tonight, Lola," he said suggestively, lifting her up and standing in one smooth motion.

He carried her to the bed and laid her down, then lay down beside her and immediately began caressing and kissing his way down the length of her body. He was confused for a second when she sat up and pressed him back against the pillows.

"I have a better idea," she said, then proceeded to mimic his actions, trailing her lips and fingertips over the soft ridges of his muscles, until she reached his gradually reawakening sex.

"Lola, you're ruining my fun," James complained huskily. "You can't get all...  _naked_... like that and then not let me taste you."

"Have a little faith, James. Don't I always have a plan?" she said, and flicked her tongue teasingly at the tip of his now thoroughly erect sex. She gave him a soft stroke up his length with one strong hand and then shifted position, moving so that her knees were aligned with his shoulders.

Finally understanding her intentions, James let out a low, pleased growl and urged her to straddle his chest, pulling her hips down closer to him.

"Oh, I like this plan," he said and began kissing her inner thigh, moaning against her soft skin when she took him into her mouth and began to slowly lick and suck his thick flesh while stroking his shaft with one hand.

When his lips found her bare sex still moist from their combined juices he let out another moan and then began to devour her with slow abandon, reveling in the feel of her slick, bare flesh against his mouth. But he wasn't too absorbed to be oblivious to the things her talented mouth was concurrently doing to him. Several times he completely lost his concentration until he realized she had deliberately paused so he could regain it.

They eventually discovered an easy rhythm and shortly her hips were rocking and twitching over his mouth, her soft moans sending jolts of pleasure through his erect sex. He thought he'd been in heaven earlier but this was a new level of pleasure that he hadn't been prepared for. He was aware of every inch of her body pressed against his, from her fingertips gliding against his thick length, her breasts pressed into his abdomen, her thighs against his upper arms. He could even feel her toes digging into the pillows behind his head.

He slipped his hands up the backs of her thighs to spread her wider and snaked his tongue deep into her core, enjoying the way her muscles clenched in reaction to the penetration. The movements of her hips became almost frantic and he groaned when she began working him with more intensity, her soft moans and whimpers drifting up from between his thighs.

Her response to him spiked a chain reaction and he felt the surge of pressure begin to build between his thighs as the waves of pleasure began to wash over him. She stroked him urgently, struggling to keep her rhythm as she felt her own climax begin to take control of her body. Her hips twitched and undulated almost involuntarily over his mouth as his tongue continued its tortuous swirling over her sex, then he settled his lips to suck gently at her swollen bud.

He came in a series of volcanic spasms and felt her moan around his hard, pulsing flesh as the muscles of her core began to quiver against his mouth and her pelvis twitched against his chin. He struggled to keep in contact with her as her hips began to buck.

When she finished swallowing all he had to give her she released him from her grip and reared back, letting out a series of harsh cries as her own spasms continued to rock her. He gripped her hips solidly in his strong hands, struggling to hold her steady and keep his mouth on her until he was sure she was utterly spent.

She finally sighed and moved away from him, then slipped down onto the bed beside him, resting her head against his shoulder. He quickly wiped his face of the remnants of her and turned on his side to face her. Her arm went around him and she shifted even closer, burying her face in his shoulder and pressing her breasts against him, entwining her legs with his. Ever since the joining she'd had this irrational desire to be as close as possible after they made love, and he seemed to feel the same way.

"I love you," she whispered. She heard him sigh and hold her even tighter. His rough voice whispered in her ear, "I love you, too." The sound sent a fresh wave of pleasurable chills down her spine.

After several moments of blissful peace James asked with quiet concern, "Did you talk to Liara?"

Shepard pulled back and looked into his eyes before answering.

"Yes. She wasn't feeling well after melding with us. I guess doing it with two people can be hard on the system."

"So, she wasn't avoiding me?"

"Um... she was, just a little bit. I've known her for a long time and I've never known her to jump into things lightly. I know she's had very few... if any... partners. I have a feeling you're the first person whose ever - ah - given her that kind of attention before."

James raised an eyebrow and Shepard thought she saw a smug smile play at the corners of his mouth. She let out a soft snort.

"Before you get all full of yourself you should know that what you did was only the half of what an Asari can experience. She explained it to me once."

"Oh yeah? What did I miss?"

Shepard cleared her throat and gave him an odd look, her eyes squinting at him suspiciously.

"Just curious," he said with a subtle shrug.

"Well, the way I understand it, there's a bit of a process involved. Asari have two stages of climax and you only reached the first stage with her. And they don't generally let a partner move to the second stage unless they're much more emotionally attached. Melding notwithstanding, of course, since melding is possible without sex."

Shepard could see the gears turning in his head. Finally he gave his head a little shake.

"Alien sex still baffles me." He turned a concerned gaze back to her. "You said she wasn't feeling well. Is she going to be okay?"

Shepard shrugged and nodded slightly. "I hope so. Javik is helping her now."

His eyebrows shot up at that. "Javik? And she's letting him?"

"I didn't exactly give her a choice. Why?"

"Oh, just because I know how she feels about Buggy. She's got one of the biggest crushes on him I've ever seen. I haven't seen a crush like that since... well, since I met you." He smirked at her and she yelped when he squeezed her rear end.

"Oh? How do you know this? About how she feels, I mean."

He gave her a mildly insulted look. "Lola! This is  _me_  we're talking about. It's my business to read people."

She laughed, then pushed away from him and rolled over, beginning to get up. He grabbed her around the waist and said, "Hangon there, cowgirl. Where do you think you're going?"

"I want to go check on her..."

"It can wait until morning. Especially if you put her in a room alone with Javik when her defenses are down. I've seen the way he looks at her, too."

"So you can read protheans now, too? Well...  _prothean._ " She emphasized the singular.

He nodded and nuzzled at her neck as his hands began slowly roving over her naked body.

"Yeah, it took me awhile to figure out his tics, but when she's around, it's like  _all_ of his attention is on her, intently. Reminds me of how I feel when you walk into a room. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's got it bad for her, too."

"Huh..." Shepard said, thoughtfully, rolling over to face him again. "Well, maybe you're right. I'll check on her tomorrow."

"I know I'm right," he said, trailing a hand thoughtfully over her hip and across her upper thigh, drifting his fingers over the smooth mound. She grabbed his wrist solidly in one hand and held it away from the skin he seemed so eager to touch again.

"' _Cowgirl_ ', huh? Care to explain exactly what you mean by that?" She was giving him a semi-amused glare.

He blinked at her, confused for a second before realizing the little nickname he'd unconsciously let slip earlier. Then a wide smile began to brighten his features. He wrested his hand from her grip and grabbed her by the hips, rolling her on top of him suddenly.

"Can't you guess? It's because you're just so good at riding me, Lola."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a companion story that is a stand-alone entitled "Blackwork Tendrils: The Lustful Ancient". If you're interested in more details of what transpired between Liara and Javik, you will want to read that story.


	15. Feedback

His world went red. The fucker had stabbed him. Right through his fucking armor. With a fucking  _sword._

Kai Leng had been about to execute Shepard. There was no fucking way in hell James was going to let that bastard get to her. He surged around the edge of the screens and blocked the arc of the blade with his body. He felt the tip of the blade pierce his armor at the juncture of his shoulder and heard it snap when it hit the resistance of the plates to either side of the gap it had found. He couldn't tell how deep it had gone in, but from the short length remaining attached to the hilt it had to be fairly deep. All he could feel at the moment was the blinding burn of the puncture wound.

In a haze of pain he let out a battle yell and aimed his Claymore up and pulled the trigger. At the same second he saw Shepard spin around and her Omni-tool blade popped out to pierce the bastard's side.

Kai Leng fell to the ground, unmoving and missing a good portion of his head.

James was only able to grunt in triumph before his knees gave out beneath him. Fuck, that hurt. He grabbed at the wound in his shoulder where the broken blade still protruded. He stared down at it for the longest time, then pulled his hand away and stared at the blood dripping from his fingertips. He was suddenly finding it exceedingly difficult to breathe.

"James! Shit! EDI we're out of here  _now_. James is hit!"

"L-Lola..." he gasped out.

She knelt beside him with an expression filled with utter horror that he could tell she was desperately trying to hide.

"Baby, stay with me," she said quietly, stroking his face. Her gauntleted hand felt rough on his cheek. Her eyes burned brightly, the intensity of her gaze pierced his soul. He would go to hell and back for her. Fuck yeah he'd stay.

He lifted up his hand to touch her face, his brows drawing together in confusion when he saw the streaks of red he left behind. Where had all that blood come from?

Abruptly he felt himself being lifted up and slung across a pair of shoulders. Whoever was carrying him was fucking strong... and made weird mechanical noises when they walked.

"I have our egress plotted, Shepard. Follow me closely," EDI said.

Shepard's voice hit him like cool water through his burning cloud of pain. "James, you fucking hold on or I'll never forgive you."

He laughed weakly, "I got this babe, you just get us outa here." He coughed against EDI's shoulder and gasped as her movements jostled his wound. His Medi-Gel had kicked in and sealed the wound around the piece of metal that still jutted from him, but that didn't make it any easier to travel with. He figured he was probably bleeding internally, too.

Shepard's voice was almost frantic even though she was trying to sound casual. "I thought I told you not to do anything stupid."

He snorted out a weak laugh and said, "Was it stupid to love you?"

She shook her head and let out a strangled little laugh. "Fuck, James. I thought that was a given."

His voice was hoarse and hitched slightly when he answered. "Well then it was stupid- to tell me not to do anything- stupid-  _pendejo_."

The sight of her shaking her head and giving him a worried smile was the last thing he saw before his world faded to black.

* * *

_Images surged through his mind in a jumble. Emotions; memories; sensations. They fell away gradually, leaving him with a clear image of her face. She had her Commander expression plastered on as she spoke, but he could see his Lola beneath the stern facade. It was getting harder for her to hide that part of her from him during missions. He couldn't decide if that was good or bad._

" _I want to tell you to sit this mission out, James. But I know you won't listen to me."_

" _You know me well, Lola," he said in a subdued tone. There was no way in hell he was going to miss a possible showdown with Kai Leng.  
_

" _Just... promise me you won't do anything stupid," she said, her voice betraying her worry. He had to wonder why now, of all times, she would be getting worried, after all the battles they'd fought in side by side. Unless she could read him that well. Shit, she probably was literally reading him now thanks to the Thorian. He made a mental note to never play poker with her again._

_The scene faded and the jumbled images spun through his mind again. When the confusion of memories began to converge he was nothing but a bundle of sensations._

_His eyes were closed, but he could feel her all around him. His arms were embracing her naked body, her pebbled nipples were a contrast to the soft flesh of her breasts where they pressed against his chest. Her lips were pressed hotly against his, their tongues entwined in a frantic dance. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, his hard sex buried deep inside her._

_He moaned in ecstasy as he thrust into her. Her core was a hot furnace gripping his entire length, drawing him in deeper. She felt sublime. He felt his climax building and moved his hips quicker, slamming into her with wild abandon. His release hit hard and he threw his head back and yelled out to the sky._

_When he opened his eyes he saw above him the giant, vivid shape of the Thorian's bloom, wide open with a shower of luminescent dust drifting out from its center. He breathed in deeply and felt the tiny spores tickle his nostrils as they passed into him._

_He tilted his head down and looked at her. The smile she gave him tugged at his heart._

_She had said she loved him._

_The scene faded to darkness. He could hear her voice, faint but insistent. He tried to make out her words but couldn't. He had to get back to her. There had to be some way back. He wasn't going to fucking die, not when they still had forever. But he felt himself fading and he couldn't control it._

* * *

She hadn't left his side for hours since Dr. Chakwas had completed surgery on his wound and finally allowed Shepard back in to sit by his side. His right lung had been punctured and had collapsed. He'd had significant internal bleeding and was in critical condition. It was touch and go, but he was strong, so there was hope. She had no choice but to hope.

Liara had assisted with the surgery and stayed for a little while afterwards, offering her friend support. When Shepard bowed her head over James' unmoving form as though in prayer, Liara quietly left.

Shepard wasn't praying, however. Not as such. But it may as well have been a prayer considering the content of her insistent communication with the Thorian. The difference was she had some hope that  _this_  vast, nearly omnipresent being might actually answer her.

She felt an odd sensation of floating for several moments as she communed with it. She urged it to expand its connection with James, to do  _something_  for him if it could. She believed from her previous forays into its seemingly boundless network that it was far more powerful than she had previously imagined, and she knew it had become increasingly fascinated with the two of them. She had felt its subtle presence whenever they made love, like a warm light in the back of her mind. It had never felt intrusive - only curious in an oddly detached way, as though only a minute fraction of its awareness was ever focused on them specifically.

But at this particular moment as she requested its assistance the detachment suddenly changed to a full-on spotlight of focused attention on the two of them. She gasped as her mind blazed with blinding yellow light. She had a flash of understanding that the spores they had inhaled that day on Feros did serve a purpose after all. It could have easily mind controlled them through the spores, but it hadn't. She realized now that they could serve a different purpose entirely.

She closed her eyes and linked her mind to James and felt the Thorian's spores working inside his body. His wounds were knitting together with inhuman swiftness. The sudden pain of the quick healing was excruciating and she gasped and released the connection with a start, then just sat back and watched, repeating the urgent message over and over for him to stay with her.

* * *

_He felt a sudden jolt and his mind blazed with yellow tendrils of bright light. He felt infused with burning energy throughout his body that gradually began to converge into a searing line up the right side of his chest into his shoulder. That fucking hurt!_

_He tried to dissociate from the pain, forcing his mind to go elsewhere. Within the span of a breath he found himself sitting in the Normandy's Med Bay looking down at his own unconscious body. He thought he might be having an out of body experience until the intense feeling of agonized worry washed through him and he heard Shepard's voice speaking as though it were his own._

* * *

"James, you can make it. Stay with me. We have a war to win and I need you beside me to do it. I need you, James." Shepard gripped his hand tightly in her own and never ceased talking to him, urging him to stay with her.

After several moments his grip tightened on her hand. His eyes flew open and he started making choking sounds around the tube of the respirator that was down his throat. He yanked it out violently and threw it to the floor. He lay gasping, his chest heaving as he struggled to pull air into his newly mended lungs.

Shepard watched with a combination of profound relief and concern as he struggled for a few seconds before his breathing finally calmed and slowed.

He looked at her and grinned. "Are we there yet?" he asked hoarsely.

Shepard struggled to hold back the tears of relief that were threatening to overflow. She just gripped his head between her hands and pressed her lips against his in a fervent kiss, sending repeated mental messages of gratitude to the creature that had brought her lover back to her.

When she finally pulled away he gave her a playful smirk and said, "Wow, I'm a damn good kisser."

After a second it dawned on her what he was implying. She grinned wickedly.

"Wait until you find out how fantastic you are in bed."

He looked uncertain for a moment, and his expression drew a delighted laugh from her.

"Trust me, when you're feeling it from my perspective, it won't seem as weird as it sounds."

Dr. Chakwas chose that moment to enter the Med-Bay. She stood stunned for a second when she saw James sitting up and flirting with Shepard as though nothing were bothering him.

"Hey, Doc," James said, smiling at her. "Great job, I feel like a new man."

She strode over to him and removed his bandages quickly. She gasped when she saw nothing but a neat scar marring the tanned skin where the entry wound had been, just to the outside of his right pectoral, above the three short black stripes of his tattoo.

"Yeah, bummer, huh?" James said. "At least I could have gotten a decent scar out of it. That's kinda puny really." Shepard got the distinct impression that James was mocking the size of Kai Leng's sword.

The doctor remained speechless as she took his vitals. Finally she stood back and gave Shepard a helpless look.

"Karin, don't stress over it," Shepard said. "It was the Thorian. I guess those spores we inhaled back on Feros were good for something after all."

The doctor gave her a dubious look, then sighed and shrugged her shoulders in resignation. "I don't like that explanation, but I guess it's the best I'm going to get. I suppose there are worse things than a beneficent all-powerful being looking out for you two."

"It doesn't hurt that it needs us to save the galaxy," Shepard said.

"So, how the hell are we going to get into the Citadel if it's all closed up like that?" James asked.

Shepard knew immediately what he meant. She'd been keeping tabs on the Citadel through her link to the Keepers ever since she'd heard it had been hijacked. It was now orbiting Earth with its arms tightly shut and no way for any ships to dock, much less the Crucible. She had to wonder how its several million residents were reacting to the change of scenery.

"We'll find a way. Let's just get to Earth first."

* * *

Dr. Chakwas had no reason to keep him in the med bay longer. When they reached Shepard's quarters she realized she'd been clutching his hand in a death grip the entire way. She finally released him and made an attempt to distance herself from the still lingering remnants of the desperation she had felt while he was unconscious.

She started to walk to her desk when she felt his hand grab hers and yank her back against him. He pressed his lips savagely against hers, his tongue probing insistently past her lips. His hands reached up and tore her hair free of the clip that held it, releasing her thick waves over her shoulders. He clutched the back of her neck with one large hand, snaking his fingers up into her dark, silky hair.

"Lola," he said gruffly, pulling away from her lips and speaking into her ear. "I almost died and all I could think about was coming back to you. Why are you in such a hurry to get away from me now?"

She tensed in his arms and shook her head. "I'm not trying to get away from you. I just... I can't..."

She felt the emotion welling up in her again. Her chest felt tight and her breath was beginning to come in short bursts. "James, please... I can't..." She buried her face against his shoulder trying to hold back the surge of feelings threatening to burst forth. The feel of his large hands gently stroking her back somehow managed to magnify everything. The emotions overwhelmed her and the tears finally came.

"I almost lost you. I was so afraid I'd lost you," she murmured with unsteady breaths as she cried into his shoulder, finally letting go of feelings she'd held so deep she wasn't even sure they'd actually existed until they bubbled to the surface.

He stroked her hair and spoke in a gentle tone. "Lola. Babe. I came back. I'm never leaving you again if I can help it.  _Never_."

She sighed and sank against him, cursing herself for her show of weakness. But somehow she didn't really mind that he was seeing her this way. He'd seen every other vulnerability of hers in intimate detail since they'd been involved, as few as they were. She supposed it was inevitable for him to see her cry.

He guided her to the bed and urged her to sit, then knelt before her, looking up into her eyes, his expression earnest and concerned.

"I'm okay now," she said, shrugging her shoulders and smiling faintly at his concerned look. "Really. That's pretty much as serious as it gets - if you want to see more waterworks, we'd need to be in the shower."

He smirked at her and raised an eyebrow. "That could be arranged," he said, glancing towards the bathroom. "How long were you sitting down there by my bedside waiting for me to wake up, anyway?"

"Long enough to need a shower," she said suggestively.

"Well let's get you out of those clothes, Lola," he said, already beginning to unlace and remove her boots.

When he got her shirt off he kissed her tenderly. His lips were soft, his tongue gentle as he teased at her lips requesting entry. She sighed and opened up to him, then scooted back on the bed, urging him to follow. She didn't think they'd be making it to the shower anytime soon.

He let out a low laugh as he reached behind her to unclasp her bra and pull it off.

"What's so funny, James?" she asked.

"It just never occurred to me how single minded you can be. Once you get it in your head that you want something, nothing can distract you from it."

She urged his shirt over his head then pushed him back on the bed, sitting up and straddling him with her legs.

"You were in my head, weren't you?" she said in a scolding tone.

"Maybe a little. Being inside you feels good." He smirked at his joke, then moaned softly as she ground her hips against his. She could feel his erection already straining at the front of his pants.

"You feel good," she murmured, trailing her fingertips over his bare chest, ending at his waistband. He'd dressed only in a t-shirt and sweats to leave the Med Bay, his other gear having been removed before his surgery.

She shifted down his legs, pulling at his waistband as she moved. He lifted his hips up so she could pull them down his legs. She discarded his pants on the floor and was about to take her own off when he sat up to do it for her. He scooted to the edge of the bed and gripped her by the hips, pulling her close. He kissed her navel, then swirled his tongue around it in a slow circle before unfastening her pants and pushing them down her hips, followed by her underwear.

He bent his head and kissed the sensitive skin at the junction of her hip on each side, eliciting a soft sigh from her. He drifted his palm over the soft mound between her thighs and slipped his thumb into the cleft, finding her nub swollen and throbbing. She let out a low moan as he stroked her.

"Are you feeling it, too?" she asked huskily. She wished she could tell when he was in her head. She gripped his chin and tilted his head up to face her. His lips were slightly parted and eyes blazed with desire as he nodded wordlessly.

"We can make it a little more complicated," she said huskily and bent to kiss him as she shifted closer, placing each knee on the bed on either side of his hips. As she began to lower herself onto him she found the bright thread of connection to him and reached out. She paused for a second, poised with the tip of his arousal barely brushing her slick center.

"Hold onto me," she said, gazing into his eyes. "This is going to be the ride of your life."

* * *

James couldn't even process the sensations as they started flooding his senses. All he felt was intense, blinding pleasure when she lowered herself down onto his throbbing shaft. The feedback of sensations coming from two different perspectives seemed to feed on itself, magnifying the feelings exponentially. It was a struggle to maintain focus, but the feel of her body against his triggered almost automatic responses. He lowered his head to her breasts to tease at their tips, licking and sucking gently. She moaned in response and arched her back, her hips undulating slowly against his.

He could feel her need for more, and her need became his own. He turned them both and laid her on the bed, gripping her thighs and pushing them back as far as he could. Her knees were against her chest as he began pounding into her. He found he had to keep his eyes closed or the visual images would begin to interfere with the sensations, but he had to look at her. At them.

He turned his eyes to where they were joined and slipped his hands down the insides of her thighs, pushing her legs wider. He slid his thumbs along her bare outer lips.  _Goddamn, no wonder she likes that so much. It feels fucking fantastic._  He spread her wider as he continued to bury his hard length into her over and over, then slipped one thumb up along her center to find the sweet bud of pleasure at the top. When he gave her a small stroke she cried out and he thought his head would explode from the intensity of the pleasure he felt feeding back through his connection to her.

He pulled out of her suddenly and sat back on his heels, catching his breath.

"Holy shit, Lola, how do you stay sane after that?" he gasped.

She lay trying to catch her breath for a second before answering. "It's more intense when we're both connected. I had no idea what it would feel like."

"Maybe we should slow down a little," he said.

She sat up and gave him a small, sultry smile, then crawled towards him with a look of almost predatory hunger. "Or maybe we should just let go."

He seemed uncertain until she reached him and took him into her mouth, giving his hard length one long, languorous suck before releasing him and swirling her tongue once around his throbbing tip.

"Fuck," he gasped.

"Good idea," she said, grasping him by the back of the neck and capturing his lips with her own in a passionate kiss. She pulled him back and he followed, lost again in the sensations of their merging. He buried himself inside her and moved slowly and deliberately, acclimating himself to the combined sensations of both their bodies.

He kept his eyes closed this time and almost didn't notice when she'd turned the tables and flipped them both over and began to ride him. He looked up at her with a smile and slid his large hands up her sides and cupped both her breasts, stroking her nipples gently with his large thumbs.

"Goddamn you feel good. I had no idea getting fucked felt so incredible," he panted.

He sat up abruptly and wrapped his arms around her, regaining the upper hand and landing her on her back beneath him again. She let out a little grunt but didn't protest. She gave him a sly laugh and wrapped her legs around his waist, raising her hips up to meet each of his steady thrusts as he continued to bury his hard length into her.

"Can't decide whether you like it better on top or not, James?"

He grinned at her and spun them again, landing them on the floor with a soft grunt and a laugh.

"This way is nice," he said. "I can touch more of you."

He slid his hands over her soft skin from her thighs up to her breasts. She continued undulating her hips atop his and leaned over to kiss him languidly, then shifted forward slightly, giving him closer access to her breasts. He took the hint immediately and began licking and sucking and teasing.

"How can you not ... touch yourself  _constantly_?" He asked, incredulous. "You feel so fucking amazing. It's like you have ten times the nerve endings that I do."

"It feels better when you're touching me," she said and gasped when she felt him sneak one hand between her thighs and begin gently stroking her sex.

"I thought you wanted to slow down," she said huskily. "If you keep that up, we're both going to come."

His eyes were closed and he was biting his lower lip in concentration as he rocked his hips to keep thrusting into her. He kept teasing at her slick bud until he felt the pressure begin to surge simultaneously between them both. The pleasure from both sources built on itself until it threatened to overwhelm him. He stopped abruptly with a gasp, feeling that they were both right on the razor's edge of orgasm. He opened his eyes and stared at her. She had stopped moving and was panting softly, her eyes wide as she gazed back at him.

He gave her a wicked grin. "Oh, man, this is going to be fun," he said. He especially loved that through the connection he could tell exactly how turned on she was and how close she was to climax. He intended to draw this out as long as possible.

He sat up and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hard, then got his legs under them both and stood. She returned his kiss and gripped his shoulders tightly, beginning to ride him again, using her strong legs for leverage. He tried walking towards the bathroom but the feel of her slick muscles stroking him and the exquisite sensation of what he sensed she was feeling in return got him completely spun around. His shins hit the coffee table and he groaned.

He bent over and swept away whatever datapads and other odds and ends were on the table and laid her down, intent on fucking her until they were at the brink again.

Every sensation he felt seemed magnified tenfold when he felt it through her. Now he finally understood why the sex in the server room had been so amazing. She'd been able to feel exactly what gave him the most pleasure and focus specifically on that movement or touch.

He thought they'd had mind-blowing sex from the beginning but he realized he didn't really understand the meaning of the term until now. If they could figure out how to harness the power of their passion for the war, the Reapers wouldn't stand a chance. He wanted to test their connection to see how far he could take it.

He sensed her amusement a second before he heard her low laughter and opened his eyes to give her a confused look.

She urged him up and he pulled back, wrapping his arms around her and taking her with him, not wanting to be separated from her yet. He fell back into the nearby chair with her straddling his hips. She held still for a second and they caught their breath, but he didn't stop touching her for a second.

"You're like a 16-year old kid who just learned to drive, James."

"I wouldn't know. I didn't have a car when I was 16. And then I enlisted not much later. If anything it's more like the first time I learned to drive the M35 Mako."

"Oh yeah? Why the Mako?"

"Well, you've got heart," he said, looking into her eyes. "And you can take a few hits." He thrust his hips up sharply in emphasis, causing her to gasp at the suddenly deeper penetration. He lost his train of thought briefly when the sensations made it to his own brain.

"You realize you just compared me to a tank, right?" she asked with a smirk.

"An incredibly sexy tank. You're certainly tough enough. And you can go for days. Fast, too. And... acrobatic."

Her eyebrows raised a little higher at each of his descriptions.

"Did I mention sexy as hell?" he said becoming concerned he may be digging himself into a hole.

She laughed. "Yeah, I think you did."

"Let's try this again," he said, standing up and holding her against him. "Just hold still for a sec so I can navigate."

She didn't move her hips, but her tongue was teasing at his ear and the skin of his neck, her teeth leaving a little trail of bites down to his shoulder. He finally made it to the bathroom and hit the valve for the shower. Hot water instantly streamed out and began soaking them.

They stood under the hot stream and kissed for several moments, enjoying the slick sensation of the water as it passed between their lips. She gradually began moving her hips on his thick, erect sex again and the renewed sensation of friction against his hard flesh and the accompanying feelings he felt through her mind made him moan in pleasure.

She was moving more slowly now and pulled away from their kiss to gaze into his eyes. He felt a jolt down to his soul when the emotion behind her gaze hit him, and he reflected his own back to her instantly.

"Lola," he said gruffly and slid one hand up her back to grip her behind her neck, pulling her face back to his and capturing her soft lips again between his own.

He suddenly needed her on her back again so he could focus on her fully. Not caring that they hadn't properly bathed, he turned the water off and quickly grabbed a pair of towels.

"What, no more shower? I thought you loved hot shower sex."

"I need you in bed. Now," he said with desperate insistence.

He somehow made it back to the bed without tearing his eyes away from her steady, intense gaze. He could feel everything she was feeling and the emotions were magnified by each other as much as their physical sensations had been.  _Goddamn I love her so much_.

He laid her down again and she sighed as he began moving inside her with slow deliberation, keeping his eyes locked on hers. He looked away only to start trailing soft kisses from her mouth along her jaw and down her chest. He could feel her fingertips trailing softly over his pecs, over his shoulders, her nails lightly raking down his back as he thrust inside her.

He lowered his head to her breast and felt his aroused flesh pulse inside her when he took her nipple between his lips and begin to suck gently and tease at it with his tongue. He twitched slightly in surprise when he felt her fingertips teasing his own nipples. He moaned and began thrusting a little deeper.

Reading her needs, he rolled them both over and let her ride him. She began moving with the same steady, deliberate rhythm he had used, resting her hands on his thick chest and holding his gaze.

He slid his strong hands up her thighs and paused with his thumbs resting at the edges of her soft folds where he was buried between them. She gasped when he slid his thumbs in closer, spreading her lips apart and teasing at the velvety flesh between them. When his thumb grazed over her small, pulsing bud she moaned and arched her back, tilting her head towards the skylight above her. She began working her hips atop him more quickly as he worked his thumb gently over her center.

She slid her hands up her abdomen and cupped both her breasts. When she began teasing her own nipples he moaned in response and his sex pulsed inside her. He had the feeling she had done it for his benefit more than for her own.

He began stroking her a little harder and immediately felt her respond. Her pleasure caused his own ecstasy to build even higher.

"Lola, fuck me. Yeah baby, like that," he gasped out as he felt their climax beginning to build again.

She opened her eyes to meet his gaze again and held it steadily for several moments as the waves of pleasure began to grow and surge over them both. Their breathing started to come in quick, desperate gasps. Her breaths began to transform gradually into low gasping cries that increased in duration and decible as her ecstasy grew. He could feel her all around him, inside him, inside each other. He completely lost any sense of self and separation when their orgasm overtook them. Within a moment they both cried out in a simultaneous fierce and deafening cry to the heavens.

When she collapsed against him, he had the urge to tell her how he felt again, but realized he could save his breath because she already knew. He could feel the strength of her own feelings washing over him, embracing him.

He could say without a doubt that he'd never felt as complete as he did in that moment.

He felt the subtle glow in the back of his mind that he understood was the other being that had given them this moment and sent it a silent thank you.


	16. Who Reaps the Reapers, Part 1

_It's the beginning of the end,_  Shepard thought as she stood beneath the hot stream of her shower, letting the water rinse the foamy suds of her shampoo down the drain. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up into the stream, letting the water beat at the skin on her face for several seconds. She opened her mouth and drank it in then took a mouthful, swishing it around and spitting it out again.

She reached for her shaving cream and razor. Might as well not have stubble when you go into battle.

_Maybe I'll even paint my toenails for the occasion_ , she thought, glancing at her feet as she bent over to begin shaving her legs. The thought made her snort out a little laugh at the absurdity of the idea. But was it really any more absurd than shaving her legs? Or... other parts? Who was she kidding. She knew  _exactly_  why she was doing this, and it was more than just out of habit. If she thought James had a fetish for painted toenails she might very well have taken advantage of that weakness, too. Even if the world were about to end.

She forced her mind back to more pressing concerns than James' potential fetishes.

They were about to reach the Alliance fleets at the edge of the Sol system and from there what she could only hope would be the beginning of the final showdown. She'd made what preparations she could with the resources she'd been granted, but she still went over and over them in her mind, checking the details to see if there was anything she'd missed; anything more that could be done to help ensure their victory.

The Keepers had been busy, she could see in her mind's eye. She wished she had reached out to them sooner than she had, but she hadn't anticipated Cerberus getting ahold of the prothean VI's data alerting them that the Citadel was the Catalyst.

Besides, she hadn't understood until she had the data herself what she needed to do.

The best she could hope for now was to minimize the casualties. The Keepers were integral in ensuring that, thwarting the progress of the Reaper forces in their struggle to subjugate or indoctrinate the population of the Citadel. The Keepers were so efficient, walling off areas of the Wards to protect the citizens; creating new passageways for the people to travel protected from the threats. Now that the arms were closed, there seemed to be only one entry point for anyone, including the Reapers. She needed to find it.

She had been surprised but relieved at how easily the Keepers had accepted her instructions. The second she had connected with them, they had instantly altered their activities to begin performing the tasks she'd requested. She was sure it was the Thorian's influence commanding them and got the sense these odd little creatures had been the Thorian's thralls for an interminable amount of time.

There were more of them than she could have imagined living on the Citadel. She'd explored corners of the Citadel that she hadn't even known existed through their eyes. Unfortunately, in spite of their numbers, they weren't feasible as an offensive force. Their sole purpose seemed to be maintaining the Citadel, but that required them having knowledge of its innermost workings, which was more than the average Citadel custodian of any other race might have.

She could see only the vaguest images of the citizens still attempting to go about their lives on the Citadel. The people were terrified, naturally. Some had been taken before she'd connected with the Keepers to urge them to respond to the threat. Other citizens were apparently mobilizing defensive teams to protect those who were unable to protect themselves. She imagined Bailey was over there somewhere, doing his best to keep the peace, and kicking Reaper ass to do it. Unfortunately evacuation wasn't an option until the arms had been opened again. Everyone was currently trapped there and nobody on the outside had had any luck making contact so far.

She would still need to find a way onto the Citadel. They had to open the arms for the Crucible to dock and she had yet to find a way to make the Keepers do that for her. The console was at the very tip of the Presidium tower and every command she'd given the Keepers to access it had been ignored, as though they had some odd mental block about going there. Fear of heights? That seemed silly. But she had gotten enough information from them about the nature of the Catalyst itself to give her a solid plan.

She just needed to get there.

"EDI," she spoke into the steamy air of the shower, knowing the AI could hear her no matter where she stood in the ship.

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's disembodied voice replied.

"Update me on the progress of the new program we talked about."

"It is nearly complete. I made the alterations you requested from the information gleaned from the Keepers. The _Normandy_ will still need to dock on the Citadel in order to implement it, however."

"And you're sure you'll be able to take control once we're there?"

"If the information you have given me is accurate, yes. The Catalyst's programming is extremely outdated and the Keepers have provided sufficient details to allow me to alter it to our purposes."

"Great. I'm still working on the detail of getting us in. Hopefully Admiral Hackett will have new information that can help us."

"Yes, Shepard."

She stowed her razor and shaving cream back in their usual compartment and began to rinse off.

She would need to explain her plan to Anderson and Hackett. She was dreading that confrontation in particular. She wasn't sure they would even believe her, but she hoped they would on principle. Nobody had believed her about the Reapers and look where that had gotten them. She had to hope those two, especially Anderson, would believe her when she told them the Catalyst was a Trojan Horse; part of the Reapers' plan to bring the advanced races to their knees if all else failed. It was their own little failsafe that they'd built into the Citadel to make some unsuspecting hero-type like herself have to choose between a series of unconscionable options in the guise of ending the war. But thanks to the Thorian she had discovered a back door. A way to use their own technology against them finally.

She was still contemplating the plan when she heard the door whoosh open behind her. A second later a pair of warm, muscular arms wrapped themselves around her. Soft lips found the skin beneath her ear and she sighed at the pleasant contact, completely losing track of her train of thought.

She almost protested, thinking there wasn't time; Admiral Hackett would be requesting to board at any moment and she needed everyone in the CIC when he did.

But she  _needed_  to take time for this. She hated herself for thinking it, but this might be their last chance. She had struggled all morning to suppress the growing panic in her that something terrible might happen and she would lose him forever.

She closed her eyes, enjoying the warm contact of his body behind her. She heard him squeeze soap into his palm and sank back against his sturdy bulk as his hands began languid soapy caresses over her body, beginning at her shoulders and working his way slowly down her torso, clearly with the intention of touching her more than assisting with her personal hygiene.

He trailed gentle kisses down her neck and shoulder as he slid his soapy palms in small circles over the tips of her breasts. His light, teasing touches provoked a soft moan from her. Her breath hitched when he slipped one large hand down her stomach to tease lightly between her thighs. She felt a low rumble in his chest when his fingertips dipped between her soft folds, finding her wet from more than just the shower.

He turned her around and she tilted her face up, meeting his gaze. She realized they had no need for words this morning, even though she knew they weren't sharing a connection the way they had the previous evening. She could see in his eyes the same feelings that were surging through her at that moment, and the look she saw was also tinged with a hint of desperation that mirrored her own feelings.

His lips found hers and she sighed against him again, reveling in the feel of his hard, naked body pressed against hers, his strong arms wrapped around her. He kissed her desperately beneath the water for the longest moment, drifting his hands down the smooth curve of her back and over the soft swell of her behind. He gripped her gently beneath her bottom and lifted her up, pressing her against the wall. His hands slipped down backs of her thighs and she wrapped her legs around him by reflex.

He pulled back from the kiss and looked into her eyes once more. Seeing her tacit consent, he positioned his hard sex at her entrance slipped his thick length slowly into her. Her eyes fluttered closed in pleasure and her chest began to heave with quickening breaths at the exquisite sensation of him filling her up and beginning to move deep inside her.

She let herself be carried away by the sensations. The feel of his slick, wet body sliding against hers with each slow, steady thrust; his warm, wet lips drifting over her skin, across her collarbone, up her neck, capturing her lips again and kissing her hungrily. Her core seemed to burn with intense need for him even as he buried himself inside her over and over. His hands seemed to be everywhere at once as he made love to her, and she needed that now, too; she needed to be surrounded by his touch, and she burned with delicious ecstasy with every pass of his fingertips across her skin.

She was so lost in the feel of him that her orgasm nearly snuck up on her. The surge of building pleasure between her thighs and through her body seemed to tear her apart suddenly, and the cry that came out of her sounded more like a sob of pain than of pleasure. Something inside her seemed to burst open as she climaxed and she was powerless to hold it together as the dam broke. She wasn't sure where all these emotions had come from but she was abruptly glad for the water streaming over her that would disguise her tears.

He let out a low groan as he buried himself into her with a final, solid thrust and she felt his flesh spasming with his release. His eyes met hers and she could see his eyebrows twitch with concern at what he saw. She supposed it was foolish for her to think she could hide her feelings from him anymore.

She was grateful that he refrained from speaking. He only lifted one hand to caress her cheek and bent his head, laying gentle kisses on each of her high cheekbones, darting his tongue out quickly to taste her tears. It was such a strange yet tender gesture she couldn't help but smile. She slipped one hand behind his neck to pull him back into a deep kiss before she released him from the grip of her legs and stood again beneath the water to finish washing.

She left him under the shower with a silent kiss and went to dry off and dress while he finished washing.

They finally broke the silence several minutes later after she had dressed and was ready to leave. He was standing in a towel in front of the sink as she leaned in the bathroom doorway watching him. She was struggling again not to burst into tears at the sheer domesticity of their little situation, knowing that it was shortly about to end, possibly for good.

What the fuck was going on with her? She wasn't a crier. Never had been. And what was with all the doom and gloom going through her head? She couldn't go into today thinking they were going to lose, it wouldn't do anybody any good. She swallowed hard and tried to paste on an optimistic expression. Her throat so tight from emotion she was finding it difficult to speak, she had to clear it once to get her voice working.

"I'm outa here. I'll see you in the CIC in a bit?"

He spat out a mouthful of foamy toothpaste, then looked up at her with a nod and said, "See you down there."

She stepped towards him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a playful smack on his toweled behind before walking out the door.

She'd hoped the last gesture would improve her mood but it only increased the feeling of almost nauseous desperation in her. She took a deep breath and did her best to bury it. No time for emotional meltdowns now, there was work to do. She had a war to win.

* * *

The Citadel was in meltdown. When the Reapers had taken control it had been subtle at first, but became increasingly clear when the arms of the Wards had closed without any security announcements. Something wasn't right.

Mason Black had sensed the change in atmosphere instinctively, before he'd even seen the subtle shift of light that the closure of the Wards had caused. He'd made a few calls to some contacts who admitted to noticing the same changes. They were on alert.

Shortly after those calls he received one that had surprised him, but in retrospect realized it shouldn't have.

C-Sec's Commander.

Bailey, if he recalled correctly. Not that he could have forgotten after their few brief but volatile run-ins.

"What do you want,  _Commander_ ," he asked with subtle scorn. He'd never dealt well with authority figures and hadn't gotten out of the habit of poking the beast even at his age.

"I need your help, Black." Bailey's voice was direct and steady, and strangely free from condescension. Black was struck speechless for a second. The man was sincerely asking for help. Of course, he needed it, but it was still surprising that he was actually stooping so low as to come to  _him_  for assistance.

"You need  _my_  help? You must be pretty fucking desperate."

"Well, if you haven't noticed, we're cut off from the rest of the galaxy at the moment. I'll take what I can get. I know your record... you can get things done that need doing." He seemed to hesitate for a second, then said, "And Shepard said I could trust you."

_Fucking Shepard_ , he thought, but couldn't help but smile at the memory of the knockout of a woman - and a fucking war hero several times over - topless in his parlor. He'd been pleasantly surprised at how utterly human and refreshingly feminine she'd seemed. It was such a contrast to the media's image of her, but he imagined there was no less truth to that version of her either. In her line of work he had to imagine that hardass image of her was just as real as the softer side he'd experienced in the few hours he'd had to become acquainted with her.

He wondered if she'd taken the reins on her little romance with Jimmy and turned it into something real. He hoped so - it seemed like the both of them needed each other more than they realized. Plus she had a fantastic pair of tits. He felt just a little warm every time he thought about them.

He sighed in resignation.

"Fucking Shepard," Black cursed out loud and heard an amused snort come from the other end of the line.

"Do you know where we are?" he asked in his gravelly voice. He'd felt the shift of energy when the mass effect fields around the Citadel had activated as though they were about to jump into FTL. Then the familiar vibration of the relay sending them someplace else. But he had no way of knowing where they'd ended up.

"Yeah. We're currently orbiting Earth. We're in the middle of the fucking tempest and we're infested by Reaper scum. I need you, and whoever else you can rally up to help defend this fucking station. There aren't enough C-Sec officers to handle it and nobody else can get in to help us."

Black was quiet for a second as he contemplated.  _Shit_ , he thought, when he realized there was no way he could  _not_  help defend this fucking place.

"Okay. Give me an hour to mobilize. I'll contact you on the C-Sec frequency when my teams are in place."

"You have  _teams_?" Bailey asked, surprised.

Black snorted in amusement, "It pays to be prepared."

* * *

Now Black was entrenched with a team of fellow ex-mercs and soldiers guarding the entrance to the Bachjret ward. He'd made contact with former colleagues on the Tayseri and Shalta wards who were similarly prepared for an onslaught, while Bailey's teams were guarding the entrances to the Zakera and Kithoi wards. They'd encountered several Reaper forces as they made their way to the main Wards access point and had summarily dealt with them, but the trickle of the odd husk or marauder had dwindled down to nothing. The attack just didn't seem to come.

"Bailey, any action on your side?" Black asked into his headset.

"Nothing. Maybe the Keepers have them blocked off somehow - it seemed like they were walling off areas of Zakera Ward earlier where the Reapers were attacking civilians. It was almost like they were herding them to slaughter. Made it easy for us to deal with them."

"Huh," Black grunted. "I didn't think the Keepers were that smart."

"Me neither. If we're no longer under attack I have half a mind to just sit tight and hope we hear something from the Alliance fleet. No sense opening up the Wards in the middle of a blitz."

"And what's the other half of your mind telling you?" Black asked.

Bailey snorted. "That we need to be prepared for when that call comes. Someone needs to get to the Presidium tower. That's the only place where we can open the Wards. There's a console on the level above the Council chambers."

Black's gears were turning. If the Keepers had been walling off the Reaper forces from accessing the Wards there might be a mob of them trapped in the Presidium. That was the most logical access point, at any rate.

"How many men do you have with you now, Bailey?"

"Not enough. Too many of my officers were busy guarding the Embassies and none of them are reporting in. We've been spread pretty thin through the Wards lately."

"Aren't your offices by the Embassies? Why aren't you there?" Black asked, a hint of suspicion coloring his tone.

Bailey didn't answer for several seconds, then finally his voice came back over Black's headset. He sounded a little embarrassed, but mostly sad. "I had a close friend in Zakera... I was off duty when the Reapers took over."

"You  _had_ a close friend?" Black didn't hesitate to drill the other man.

Bailey's response was almost resigned. "Had, assuming she's either dead or... I don't even want to consider the alternative. I just wish I could have gotten to her sooner. It wasn't even anything serious... we'd just get together sometimes. But she didn't deserve that. Nobody deserves that."

Black just sat quietly listening. He knew all too well the feelings of impotence Bailey was experiencing. There was a reason he kept his intimate encounters with the opposite sex as impersonal as possible.

After a long pause, Black finally said, "I'll go, but you might need to talk me through it when I get there."

Bailey sighed audibly in apparent gratitude. "Thanks, Black."

Black smirked. "Don't thank me until I make it there."

He signalled to two of his men and they began to make their way to the Presidium.

* * *

Shepard was just walking out of the Med Bay when James stepped off the elevator on the crew deck, on a hunt for breakfast.

"Hey, Lola. I thought you'd be in the CIC already. How soon until the Admiral comes on board?"

She looked at him blankly for a second and he thought she seemed a little out of sorts. His brow furrowed and he took another step towards her.

"Babe, are you alright?" he asked in a low voice, raising one hand up to gently squeeze her shoulder.

"What? Oh yeah, I'm fine," she said, shaking her head. "Just a little case of nerves. I wanted Karin to check me out to make sure I wasn't coming down with something. It would stink to be sick in the middle of a fight."

"And you're alright?" he asked again.

"Yep!" she said a little too enthusiastically. "Clean bill of health. She's still skeptical about the Thorian, but she can't argue with the evidence." She punched him lightly in the shoulder where he'd been stabbed.

"You got time to have a bite with me? I can whip us up something real quick."

"No, I can't eat before a fight. You go ahead. Half an hour." Her voice seemed a little unsteady and distracted when she spoke.

"Half an hour for what?"

"Admiral Hackett boards in half an hour."

She kissed him quickly and he watched her step into the elevator.

Nerves? He shook his head in wonder as he stared at the elevator doors, then walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge.

She never got nervous before a battle. Maybe it was just being back in their home system. A little voice spoke in his mind,  _"You know what it is, pendejo. You know exactly what it is. It's the same thing that's been going through your own thick head all morning. This is what happens if you fall in love with a soldier when the galaxy is in the middle of a war."_

He stood staring into the fridge for several moments until he finally realized he didn't have an appetite after all.

* * *

After Hackett finished his speech to the fleets from the _Normandy_ 's CIC, Shepard made her own speech to the _Normandy_ 's crew. What she shared with them caused a bit of an uproar. Most of the crew was confused by the details she'd shared, but others who were more involved in the details of the war were looking at her like she was flat out nuts.

Admiral Hackett pulled her aside after she was finished speaking. She'd blindsided him with this, she knew, but there hadn't been time to share the details in advance. There was no time left now.

"Don't you think you should have told me this before?" Hacket snapped at her when they were back in the war room.

"There wasn't time," she said. "I didn't know all the details until I had the information from the prothean VI on Thessia. And by then, Cerberus already had the same information. I had very little time to prepare, and no time for handholding certain parties who were unlikely to believe me anyway."

"Shepard, you should have come to me with this at least. I'm not as oblivious as those clowns on the Council."

"Would it have made a difference? We still need the Crucible here, we're still locked out of the Citadel. People are still fucking  _dying_  down on Earth while we stand her  _arguing_  about it."

"It might make a difference, yes," Hackett said. "For one thing we'd be trying harder to contact the Citadel. We'd written them off as a total loss, but if what you're saying is true, there could be survivors and we'll need to organize rescues as soon as the arms open up."

Shepard went quiet for a second, closing her eyes and reaching out to the Keepers she knew were busy working within the Wards.

When she opened her eyes, she said, "The Citadel is stable. Reaper forces are trapped in the Presidium. The Wards are safe. Trust me, its citizens are probably in the safest place in the war at the moment. The Reapers know how important the Citadel is, they won't risk it getting destroyed."

"I just hope you're right about all this," Hackett said.

"I know I'm right," Shepard replied, and hoped with a vengeance that she wasn't lying.

* * *

When the fleets were fully engaged, the _Normandy_ broke away from the fight. Joker deftly navigated through the chaos of battle surrounding them to get them within shuttle range of London.

James could almost taste the battle rage that was beginning to bubble up in him when the shuttle landed to let them out. He was back on Earth finally. About to give the Reaper assholes attacking his home a little taste of how pissed he was that they were here.

He couldn't help but reach his mind out to Shepard, curious as to whether she was feeling the same thing he was. What he felt from her was the same, but magnified by a thousand. She was on fire already and they hadn't even fired a single shot yet. Holy shit, was she always like this in a fight? She always seemed so self contained, but he realized by the display of her biotics when she used them why she might not let loose more obvious emotional displays. Her biotics said everything her words didn't.

As he contemplated this, the door to the shuttle had opened and she was abruptly nothing more than a blur of blue light as she immediately charged at a small cluster of Reaper cannibals, instantly obliterating them in an explosion of biotic energy.

He'd never thought she could surprise him any more than she already had, but over the next few hours he realized he was dead wrong.

She seemed to dominate every single fight. Her biotics demolished any creature she set her sights on, Brutes included. The strangest thing was that as reckless as she seemed to be, she never jumped out from cover without her shields at full charge. When her shields were down, she'd sit patiently and wait for them to recharge, letting James and Garrus pound on the enemies for a change. She never took a single direct hit.

He tried to catch her attention several times to talk to her when they had a second to pause, but she seemed singularly intent on completing their objective. The few times he did catch her eye, she seemed to have an oddly thoughtful expression as she looked at him, which she quickly hid with a wink and a smile before hopping out of cover to shoot or charge some new adversary.

They had a few irritatingly tedious obstacles to face before they could reach the Conduit that would get them up onto the Citadel. Once those were out of the way, Anderson said they had a clean shot at the Conduit.

Which was a bit of an overstatement.

There was currently a Reaper Destroyer with its beam aimed at the path to the beacon they needed to get to. This was apparently the only way to get aboard the Citadel at the moment. The ground before them was littered with bodies of fallen soldiers and Reapers alike.

"You guys ready?" Shepard asked her three companions. They were all still a little shook up from the shuttle's crash landing, but were all in one piece at least.

"Let's do it, Lola," James said, and she gave him a huge grin that was so infectious he couldn't help but grin back, and noticed Garrus and Anderson following suit. Turian grins were a little unsettling, he realized at that moment.

She let out a battle yell and immediately charged forward, running as fast as she could, rolling periodically to dodge the beam of the Reaper that kept shooting at the path before them. James kept up as well as he could, but the second a Reaper soldier or husk popped out and began attacking, she was charging forward towards it and there was no way he could keep up with her biotics. He set his focus on the beacon and pumped his legs as hard as he could to reach it, aiming his gun and pulling the trigger at any enemy that showed its unfortunate face between. He agilely dodged the Destroyer's beam whenever it blasted through the middle of his path.

When he was finally close to the beacon he saw her caught in the column of white lite for a second before she disappeared. He heard the klaxon of the Reaper's fiery attack again and felt the searing blast at his back, far too close for comfort. He heard Anderson's feet pounding and the other man's voice just behind him yelling, "Don't stop!" just as he took a final stride and launched himself into the beacon.


	17. Who Reaps the Reapers, Part 2

There was an angry buzz in her brain that gradually began to subside as Shepard regained consciousness. She opened her eyes to dim, eerie light and turned her head to look around her before standing up. The thick stench of decay hit her nose, causing her to gag in response. She quickly managed to control her reaction as she observed her surroundings. All she saw were bodies piled to either side of the pathway. Mostly husks, but many were human as well. She seemed to be in a corridor of some sort. And she was alone.

She tapped her headset, "James? Garrus? Anderson? Do you read?"

"I'm here Lola," James' voice responded. "I don't know where 'here' is exactly," he said. "But it's damn good to hear your voice."

She relaxed almost instantly at the sound of his voice.

A second later she heard both Anderson and Garrus checking in with similar reports. With each familiar voice in her ear she relaxed a bit more.

"Okay, sit tight for a second. Let me figure out where we are and where we need to be. Do you guys see any Keepers nearby? If you do, go stand next to them."

When she reached out with her consciousness she could instantly sense James in a corridor not far from where she stood. She caught glimpses of Anderson and Garrus through the eyes of a pair of Keepers that were busy working in the corridors they had landed in. The corridors each of them were in led directly into a larger corridor that led around the entire circumference of the tower encircling the central area of the tower itself. She couldn't have asked for a better entry location.

As she studied the Keepers' views she quickly described the layout to her team, but paused abruptly when she saw something unexpected.

"What the hell?" She sat still for a second, focusing on the perspective from another Keeper she had reached out to. She tried to make sense of the scene it was viewing.

"What is it, Lola?" James asked, his voice sounding tense and worried.

She was quiet as she studied the Keeper's perspective. It was further down the tower, apparently in the access corridor from the Council chambers to the upper tower. There seemed to be a heated battle going on between a human soldier and a mob of Reaper husks and cannibals that had him cornered. He was a bloody mess, but seemed to be holding the mob at bay.

She finally caught a frontal view of the man and cursed silently.  _What the hell are you up to, Black?_

"Guys, it looks like we're about to have company, meet me in the main corridor," she said into her headset.

When the four of them were reunited, she immediately led them around to the doorway to the lower levels. When it slid opened, they could hear sounds of fighting echoing up through the tight, sloped corridor. The Reapers still hadn't forced Black to the top yet.

"Garrus, you and James head down and help hold them off. Anderson and I will head up to the console and get the plan moving."

"Lola... I don't want to be insubordinate, but I made you a promise yesterday, and I intend to keep it," James said, holding her gaze steadily.

She looked into his eyes and said softly, "That you did." They held each other's gaze for a moment longer, the reminder of other promises passing between them. Finally a throat cleared nearby.

She looked at Anderson who seemed to have caught the gist of their exchange and immediately nodded to her.

"I'll go with Garrus," Anderson said. "You and James take care of business at the top. Be safe, Shepard."

She looked back at him with an expression of gratitude and gave him a quick salute, which James repeated.

"Thanks, Anderson. Take care of yourself down there. You too, Garrus. Also, the man you're about to meet is a friend. It'd be nice if all three of you survived."

"We'll see you again once this is all over," Garrus said with a nod of his head before heading through the doorway and jogging towards the sounds of fighting.

After the door slid closed behind Garrus and Anderson, James and Shepard began to walk up the ramp to the central tower. As they walked, Shepard switched her headset over to the C-Sec frequency and indicated for James to do the same.

"Bailey? Anyone? Do you copy? This is Commander Shepard. If you read me, I have a team on the Citadel. We will be opening the arms of the Wards shortly. I don't want anyone to be alarmed when it happens, so please get the word out."

Bailey's voice was instantly in her ear. "Shepard! Well, isn't your voice just a breath of fresh air. I don't even want to ask how you made it onto the station."

"How are you holding up, Bailey?" Shepard asked with a huge grin. She'd hoped the C-Sec commander would still be holding out against the Reapers.

"We're sitting tight down in the Wards, but Black might need some help. He was on his way to the tower but I haven't heard from him in awhile. He probably ran into some resistance on the way."

"I know where he is," Shepard replied. "Garrus and Anderson are on their way to help him. Black, if you're reading this, relay the message to them when they get there to switch to this frequency."

She heard Black's gruff voice crackling in her ear a second later. He sounded out of breath but otherwise in high spirits.

"Hey, sweetness. Your friends just got here and we're kicking the hell out of some Reaper scum. You gonna need our help up there once we've finished cleaning house?"

James' eyebrows shot up and he mouthed  _"sweetness?"_  at her in question. She just smiled and shrugged.

They had just reached the platform where the console stood. It was quiet. Almost peaceful.

"We're good up here. You guys head back down and look for survivors in the Presidium. With any luck this will all be over soon."

* * *

"You know Shepard?" both Anderson and Garrus asked almost simultaneously after the three men had finished off the last of the Reaper mob that had been attacking Black and he had finally introduced himself.

He gave them a sidelong look. "We're acquainted, yeah. Purely on a professional level. Her boy, Jimmy, and I go way back, though."

They were striding together back down the corridor to the Council chambers. When they reached the bottom, Black paused and sat down against the wall to catch his breath and have a quick drink from a canteen clipped to his heavily equipped belt.

He looked up at the low chuckle he heard coming from the Admiral.

"Something funny, Admiral?" he asked. He knew the guy's name, but didn't feel like they knew each other well enough to use it.

"Not funny, exactly. I had a feeling those two would hit it off when I pulled James off Omega to be her bodyguard. I suppose I'm just surprised at how far it's progressed in such a short period. But war will do that, I suppose."

Black studied the other man intently for a moment. Anderson seemed to be exuding intense pride at the thought of Shepard and the idea that he'd had a hand in influencing her life in some small, but clearly positive way. Black envied the man for a moment, then thought about Jimmy and wondered if his own presence had influenced the boy's life in any way.

 _Man. He's a man now_ , Black thought. Jimmy was clearly man enough to land a woman like Shepard and hold on to her, and there weren't many men in the galaxy that could have accomplished that. He snorted to himself at the thought of a woman like Shepard. Hell, he doubted there  _were_  other women like her. She was just Shepard - a fucking force of nature.  _Jimmy, you're a lucky, lucky man,_ he thought.

He took another swig from his canteen.

"What about you, turian? What's your name?" he asked, returning his focus to the present and looking up at Garrus. He thought the turian looked familiar, but he wasn't very good at remembering turian faces. Some part of him still unconsciously viewed them as the enemy, even after all these years. This one had seen his fair share of action, though, he could tell from the scars.

"Garrus Vakarian. Otherwise known as Archangel," Garrus said, and his mandibles seemed to twitch slightly in amusement. "But you probably remember me from C-Sec. I think I brought you in once many years ago before I got promoted to ID and then... changed employers. Drunk and disorderly, if I recall correctly."

Black barked out a sharp laugh. "Story of my life," he muttered, scrubbing one large, calloused hand over his shaved scalp with a rueful smile before turning to look at the turian again.

"So, Vakarian, were you as surprised as the Admiral about Jimmy and Shepard?"

"Shepard and I have worked together long enough that nothing she does surprises me anymore. But I approve of her choice. They seem to work well together. Jimmy's a good man, even if he is prone to exaggeration on occasion."

Black got the sense from Vakarian's expression that he probably had some interesting stories to tell. He was suddenly looking forward to having a drink with these two later, loosening their tongues with some expensive liquor and just sitting back and listening as the tales began to flow.

Black nodded and stood up, checking the thermal clip on his weapon. "You boys ready to kick some more Reaper ass?"

* * *

Shepard strode quickly to the console that stood in the center of the platform. Through the windows behind it she could see a detailed aerial view of the Citadel's Wards, its grids glowing orange. The evidence of life continuing on in what appeared to be normalcy was somehow comforting. She'd gotten over resenting the citizens of the Citadel for their insulation from the war. Sometimes she simply envied them. To be so oblivious must be nice, but it was a luxury she couldn't afford - nor could anyone close to her for that matter.

Behind her she heard an all too familiar voice speak from the shadows and her shoulders tensed as she turned slowly to face him.

"Shepard. I underestimated you," The Illusive Man said.

She heard James mutter "fucking bastard" under his breath beside her, and she grabbed his hand before he could raise his gun to shoot the other man.

The Illusive Man seemed intent on making a speech and Shepard indulged him. She watched and listened for several minutes as he continued going on like a broken record about controlling the Reapers. James' irritation beside her was palpable and she tried unsuccessfully to suppress an impatient sigh as the speech continued.

When it seemed like he was finished, she said in a disdainful tone, "You look like hell. Like you've been playing with fire and it didn't agree with you. I think you may want to switch brands." She eyed the black streaks that spread out over his face and neck. He looked like he'd taken to smoking firecrackers instead of cigarettes.

As she and James stood there watching him impassively, he gradually grew quiet and stared at them, perplexed.

"Why are you just standing there? Surely you two should have... shot each other by now, at least."

Shepard glanced at James, then back at The Illusive Man. She'd sensed an odd, pervasive energy in the room that had grown stronger as the man drew closer to them. It suddenly occurred to her that he must be attempting to influence them - maybe even indoctrinate them - but it wasn't working. She smiled wickedly at the realization.

"Were you expecting us to fall under the same spell the Reapers have  _you_ under?" she asked.

"You should be under  _my_ spell, dammit! Why aren't you on your fucking knees yet?"

"I suppose there are some things you don't know about the Reapers after all," Shepard said. She was suddenly extremely thankful for her relationship with the Thorian and the immunity from indoctrination that it had granted her, and apparently James as well.

She couldn't resist taunting him. "You'll never be able to control them. You're a fool if you haven't figured out by now that they're already controlling you. The original plan for the Crucible was never going to help us win this war,  _Jack_. The Reapers might have been defeated, but it was just another cleverly disguised ploy to make us think we'd be coming out ahead when they'd really get their way after all. And you've been under the Reapers' spell all along."

"Nonsense," The Illusive Man said. "There's only one way to use the Crucible effectively. We  _can_  control the Reapers with it." He paused suddenly and his eyes grew wide when he finally registered what she had called him. "How do you know my name?"

"I guess you aren't really as  _illusive_  as you believed," she said, condescension dripping from her tone. She sighed as though she were trying to explain something to a small child.

"There's always another way, Jack. Explain it to him, James." She sensed James tense up beside her and released her grip on the hand that was holding his gun.

"I thought you'd never ask," he muttered.

He raised his hand in a blur, pulling the trigger the second it was aimed. The Illusive Man began to yell out in protest. He barely had time to utter a syllable before jerking back from the impact of the shot. He collapsed like a rag doll and grew suddenly still, a pool of blood spreading out beneath him.

"I normally don't like shooting unarmed men," James said as he stared down at the limp form on the ground. "That was way more gratifying than it should have been."

Shepard gave the body a cursory glance then looked back at James. "He was dead the second he became indoctrinated. You did him a favor."

Shepard turned back to the console as though they hadn't been interrupted.

"EDI, we're at the console. Are you ready?"

"Yes, Shepard. As soon as you open the arms and we can dock, I'll be ready to upload the program. The Crucible also just arrived and is preparing to dock as well.

"Perfect timing," Shepard said softly and began tapping at the console quickly, punching in the necessary commands. A few seconds later the arms began to part before them, giving them a view of the debris-strewn battlefield of space, with the Earth's luminous horizon as a backdrop.

"EDI. We're ready for you."

"The arms are almost open. Jeff is preparing to dock the _Normandy_ now."

Shepard closed her eyes and began the steady probe of the threads throughout the Thorian's network. She could sense the Keepers that maintained the Mass Relays and commanded them to be on alert. They would need to activate all the relays simultaneously for their plan to affect the rest of the galaxy.

She stood back to wait, watching and listening as Hackett's voice made a steady countdown to the Crucible's docking. She could hear James' steady but tensed breathing beside her.

"Shepard? Commander!" Hackett's voice spoke clearly over her headset a few moments after the Crucible had completed docking.

"What do you need me to do?" she asked.

"Nothing's happening," Hackett's voice said. "The Crucible's not firing! It's gotta be something on your end."

"EDI!" Shepard called into her headset. "What's your status?"

"Shepard," EDI's voice replied. "I've uploaded the program, but something is blocking it from taking control. I'm going to need to assert myself into the Catalyst's code to get the results we desire. I'm sorry, but this is the only way, Shepard."

Shepard felt a lurch in her stomach at EDI's words. She had a brief flashback to Legion's final moments on Rannoch.  _"Shepard Commander. I must go to them. I am... I am sorry. It's the only way."_

"EDI, I don't understand. What exactly are you going to do?"

"I'm sorry, Shepard. I need to take over the Catalyst in order to control it. It isn't enough for me to do it remotely. But I am certain once I have assumed control I will be able to carry out our plan. You can count on me, Shepard."

"But, EDI... "

"I'll be fine, Shepard."

"EDI, I won't order you to do this. I hope you know that. It is your choice."

"Yes. I know Shepard. Don't worry, I will live through this. I know what living truly means now, thanks to you. Thank you, Shepard."

A few moments later James and Shepard staggered and grabbed ahold of each other as the floor beneath them began to shift. It took them a second before they realized they were on a platform that was raising them up to another level of the tower.

When the platform stopped, they found themselves in a huge chamber with a transparent domed roof and a giant mass effect generator. They stood and stared at the bright beam of the generator for a moment until they finally registered a shimmer in the light before them and a curvaceous, translucent hologram of EDI's body walked towards them.

"EDI!" Shepard said, shocked. "What happened to you?"

"Nothing has happened to me, Shepard. I have merely changed platforms. This was necessary to complete our plan." EDI's voice was clear and resonant. She was in the room with them, and not speaking through the headset any longer.

"What do you mean you've changed platforms? You're still on the _Normandy_ , aren't you?"

The hologram shook its head. "I am no longer part of the _Normandy_ 's systems, Shepard. It had to be this way for our plan to succeed. I knew this might be a possibility, but I didn't want you to worry. This was necessary for us to win. As outdated as its code was, the Catalyst was too strong for me to control it remotely. I had to subsume the Catalyst's programming as part of my own, and the only way I could do that was to transfer my own consciousness to this platform."

James had been as stunned as Shepard but finally found his voice, "So, are you the Citadel now?"

The EDI hologram smiled at him. "You could say that, James. I have taken over the artificial intelligence that was previously the Catalyst. Some of its code is now my own: the important parts that were required to maintain and defend the Citadel; and the parts that we have repurposed to allow us to defeat the Reapers for good."

"The other parts..." EDI paused and Shepard thought she could sense a hint of disgust in EDI's voice. "The other parts I have  _deleted_."

She continued, "I have already explained things to Jeff. He is not happy, but he understands. I have merely moved to a new platform. I will still be alive. I will still be me. And my  _body_  will still be functional as before. It will just have a more limited range."

"How is Joker taking it?" Shepard asked, knowing the pilot must be beside himself. He never had reacted well to change.

"My body is still on the _Normandy_ for now, in the process of consoling Jeff. He isn't taking it well, but he will recover. He understands that I would do anything to ensure his survival. This solution is far from the worst imaginable. We can still be together, at least. My body will need to reside on the Citadel from now on, however."

Shepard sighed, "Well, I'm glad of that at least. Joker will learn to adapt."

Finally, EDI said, "Shepard, are you ready for me to complete the plan? The code has been finalized, the necessary alterations are ready. The Catalyst is fully under my control now."

"I'm ready if you are, EDI," Shepard said.

"Very well," EDI said, and then the ghostly blue image of her disappeared.

From their vantage point, James and Shepard had a spectacular view of the battle going on around them. It would only be a few more moments until it was all over and Shepard hoped one last time that this would finally be the end she'd been seeking all these years; an end worthy of those who had sacrificed themselves in the process of trying to achieve it. She still remembered the very first life lost as though it had happened yesterday.

Shepard sighed and whispered, " _I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul._ "

At EDI's signal, Shepard closed her eyes and sent the command to the Keepers on the mass relays. They responded instantly, activating the relays throughout the galaxy. At the same time, a warm, yellow light began to shimmer around the heavy, spherical body of the Crucible.

When Shepard opened her eyes she was stunned by the scene before her. Waves of golden light as bright as the sun cascaded out into the darkness of space. She could feel the first wave as it pulsed through the dome above them and washed over her and James. It was warm and comforting to her, but she sensed a power in it indicating that there was much more to it than what she was able to feel. It seemed to tickle at her mind slightly, the same way the Thorian's presence did when she felt it observing her and James in the throes of passion.

She felt James' large gauntleted hand slip into hers and squeeze tightly. She squeezed back and glanced at him. He was looking at her with an expression of such unreserved adoration it made her heart skip a beat and her breath catch in her throat. The golden glow of the Crucible's light washed over him, illuminating his tanned skin and hazel eyes in a way she rarely saw under the artificial lights inside the _Normandy_. Unable to resist, she turned and stepped towards him. She reached up and gripped him behind the neck, ignoring the scrape of their armor and pulling his face to hers in an ardent kiss.

They were oblivious to the results of the Crucible's pulsing energy, but the effect was immediate on the Reapers that were engaged in battle nearby. The first one to be hit was lit from within with a bright yellow glow that began small but grew in intensity until the light was shining out of every crack and crevice inflicted on it by the Alliance forces. One by one, the same thing began happening to the other Reapers. They would stop firing their weapons and drift in space for a second before suddenly bursting with yellow light. After several moments, they would just begin to disintegrate as though slowly torn apart from the inside out.

* * *

Garrus was covering Anderson and Black while they charged a cluster of reaper cannibals in the Presidium Commons when it happened. The Presidium's usual faux sky screens were deactivated so they had a clear view of space and the raging battle going on around them. At first the entire Commons was cast in shadow as the massive structure of the Crucible began to move into place outside the ring of the Presidium, blocking the light of Earth from reaching them. Several minutes later, they were awash in glowing yellow illumination that seemed to permeate every corner of the vast torus that housed the Citadel's elite.

They were briefly confused by the light, thinking some silent explosion had erupted outside the Citadel, until they realized it was the Crucible activating that had caused it. All three of them let loose fierce cheers when it became clear the end was finally near.

They were about to get back to shooting at the attacking Reaper soldiers when the entire Commons before them erupted in multiple silent explosions of blinding yellow light. Whatever pulse of energy the Crucible had sent through the station had turned the remaining Reaper forces into what looked like miniature suns. It seemed to burn them from the inside out.

The three soldiers stood back and watched, stunned, as their enemies slowly disintegrated amidst the blinding light.

When the light show finally ceased after several minutes the two men and the turian wandered forward to inspect the remains of one of the victims. They found an amorphous mound of crumbling tissue with viny, plant-like growths visibly working their way through it.

"That's unsavory," Black commented as he nudged one of the piles with a heavy booted foot.

Anderson crouched down to inspect the remains of the dead Reaper more closely. In a near whisper he said, "You've done me proud yet again, child."

"You know what this is?" Anderson said, standing up and turning to the others with a huge grin on his face.

"This is victory!"

He gestured to the exit. "How would you guys like a drink to celebrate? Bailey always used to keep a bottle of single-malt in his desk at C-Sec Headquarters."

A grey-haired figure trotted down the steps to meet them. "You old bastard. I always wondered who was sneaking into my stash. Made me think I was going nuts."

Anderson looked up in shock, "Bailey! Glad to see you're still in one piece."

Bailey gave the other man a suspicious look. "Funny, now that I recall, it seemed to stop once you transferred back to Earth."

Anderson shrugged and attempted to look innocent, "I can't imagine why you'd think it was me."

"Maybe because your office was across the hall from mine the entire time it was happening. If I'd known being a councilor was so tough on you I'd have  _given_  you the damn bottle. Good thing you quit. I still don't know why you accepted the position in the first place."

"Shepard," Anderson said, as if that was explanation enough.

Bailey snorted softly in response. "Well, guess who we'll be drinking to for the rest of the night," he said with a grin as he gestured for the other men to follow him.

"I can think of worse things to drink to," Black said. He heard Garrus chuckle softly behind him as they made their way to the lift that would take them to the embassies and the promised bottle of Scotch.

When they stepped into the elevator, Anderson tapped his headset. "Shepard?"

There was a long pause before he heard her voice in his ear. "I'm here, Anderson. What is it?"

"Just wanted to make sure you were still breathing. That was one hell of a show."

"Yeah, it was," she said. He thought she sounded a little breathless.

"We're going to celebrate with Bailey's Scotch. Come join us."

"Sure thing, Anderson. Save us some," she said. He was sure he heard a few questionable sounds over her headset, but disregarded them as they made their way to Bailey's office.

* * *

They had their armor off in what seemed like record time. It was was tossed aside and they were writhing in a tangle of limbs on the hard, glowing floor of the large chamber. James had his mouth solidly latched to her breast through the sheer fabric of her tank top and was insistently attempting to shove her panties down over her hips. His own undergarments had disappeared already in the frenzy to get their armor off.

He finally managed to dispose of her panties and top and groaned when she was gloriously naked against the glowing floor.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard right now," he said, eyeing her curves, his hard sex twitching in anticipation.

She was about to respond when a disembodied voice interrupted them suddenly.

_"Shepard?"_

Shepard reached out and tossed around her in the pile of discarded armor until she found her headset, then placed it to her ear.

"I'm here, Anderson. What is it?"

_"Just wanted to make sure you were still breathing. That was one hell of a show."_

"Yeah, it was." James was kneeling between her legs and sliding his hands down her thighs as she spoke. His touch caused her breath to quicken, especially when his fingertips reached her core and began teasing her, sliding across her soft folds, searching for where she was most sensitive. She glanced up at him and her arousal increased at the expression of pure desire she saw on his face. The sight of his naked, muscular body within a hair's breadth of dominating her own made her quiver with such need that she barely heard the response over he headset.

_"We're going to celebrate with Bailey's Scotch. Come join us."_

"Sure thing, Anderson. Save us some," she said, trying her best to keep a normal tone of voice as James did unspeakable things to her. She tossed the headset aside and reached up, gripping him by the shoulders and pulling him on top of her.

"What was it you were saying about fucking me just now?" she asked huskily in his ear.

James grinned at her. "I'm going to fuck you until the world ends, Lola. So be prepared, because it might take awhile, and it's all thanks to you."


	18. Before Sunrise

As James gazed down at Shepard laying on her back in the soft glow of the platform at the top of the Citadel tower it hit him how frenzied and insistent their lovemaking tended to be. With the possibility of the end of everything looming over them in the weeks they'd been together it was rare for them to take their time with each other.

After she tossed her headset aside, he looked into her eyes and saw an expression of eager desperation as she pulled him down into a deep kiss. Her legs were already wrapped around his hips, her hot, naked core pressing against his erect sex, urging him to take her. He paused, then disentangled himself and pulled back.

He decided that on this, of all nights, they ought to take their time. Shepard had just succeeded at saving the galaxy, so he was bound and determined to turn this into something Earth-shattering that she would remember for the rest of her life. For the rest of  _their_  lives.

"Slow down, Lola. We have plenty of time," he said, laying beside her. The warm, golden pulse of energy from the Crucible was still washing over them in waves, and if they had chosen to look, they would be able to see the bright explosions of light from the Reapers dying all around the huge dome of the tower.

He leaned on one elbow and trailed a series of gentle kisses along her collarbone. He rested a large hand at the center of her chest over her heart, feeling its steady beat against his palm.

"We're alive, Lola. And we won. We have forever to enjoy each other."

She began to speak and he silenced her with his mouth, giving her a long, languid kiss, his velvety tongue dipping between her lips. His hand drifted slowly across her skin, fingertips tracing the soft crease beneath one breast and continuing in a gentle spiral until just his thumb was moving in slow circles over her taut nipple.

She moaned against his lips and turned slightly towards him, raising herself up on one elbow and bending her opposite knee. Her hand slid up his muscular arm and over the blackwork that adorned his broad shoulder. Her fingernails scraped against the short-cropped hair at the back of his head. He pulled back from the kiss and dipped his head to her breast, flicking his tongue over its pink tip until it grew hard and then taking it between his lips and gently sucking.

"James," Shepard breathed. In a husky voice she said, "You know I could take you if I wanted to."

His arousal twitched against her hip in response to the sound of her voice and the words she had spoken. He smiled around her nipple and drew back, blowing lightly on the hardened flesh that was now wet from his attention. He watched as her areola began puckering up even further from the cool air drifting over it. He shivered slightly at the feel of her fingertips caressing the skin at the back of his neck.

"I know there's nothing you couldn't do if you wanted, Lola. But I know you're going to let me do what I want now, because you know you'll enjoy it. And you  _know_ you deserve it."

He drifted his hand down from her breast, sliding his palm against her silky skin as his lips drifted up over her collarbone and neck and he found the sensitive flesh beneath her ear. He enjoyed the small sounds of pleasure she made when she tilted her head backwards and he began to bite gently at her skin.

His hand continued its journey downward until he reached the top of her thigh. He paused and slid his large thumb back and forth over the soft, supple skin of her inner thigh. He heard her murmur his name and felt her legs part in response to his touch.

He found her mouth again with his own and kissed her deeply while his palm slid across her center and his fingertips slipped into warm, silken wetness. She hummed softly in pleasure against his lips at the fresh contact with her sensitive flesh. He didn't think he would ever get tired of the feel of her against his fingertips.

He felt a light caress against his shaft, and then her hand was gripping him gently, gliding along his hot, smooth skin. He grunted softly and lifted his head in surprise, looking into her eyes; he'd been so engrossed in touching her that he hadn't felt her move her hand between them.

She met his gaze and smiled at him playfully.

"You didn't think I'd let you have all the fun, did you?" she said and gave him a gentle squeeze that made him close his eyes and moan softly in pleasure. She definitely knew how to push his buttons.

When he recovered from the sudden sensation of her touch, one corner of his mouth tilted up. She gasped and arched her back when he suddenly slid a pair of thick fingers deep inside her. He knew how to push her buttons, too.

"Oh, God. Yes," she moaned as he began to slowly thrust his fingers into her. He found her swollen bud with his thumb and began rubbing in slow circles, enjoying the sounds of her gasping breaths as her arousal seemed to intensify beneath his touch and her slick muscles clenched around his fingers.

"James. You're so hard," she said in a breathless voice, stroking him more insistently. "Don't you want to be inside me?"

He was beginning to lose touch with reality as she stroked him, her hand occasionally dipping lower with a gentle touch to caress his heavy sack.

"Like you wouldn't believe," he all but growled at her.

He drew his fingers out of her and rose up onto his knees. He gripped her by one smooth, creamy thigh and urged her towards him. She had fire in her eyes when she wrapped one arm around his shoulders and lifted herself up smoothly, wrapping her legs around his hips and straddling his kneeling form.

He held her solidly against him with one strong arm and reached up to unclip her hair with his other hand. He wanted her as undone and naked as he could get her. He wanted to see her wild and uninhibited.

She kissed him hard and he almost cried out when he felt her hips rise up and descend, engulfing his throbbing sex completely within her hot depths. He groaned when he felt her teeth bite into his lower lip at the intense pleasure of their union.

They rocked against each other, their rhythm in sync with the pulse of the Crucible and the steady thrum of the mass effect generator in the chamber. He didn't bother entering her mind this time. He wanted to just feel  _her_  and nothing  _but_  her wrapped around him the way she was, her smooth skin sliding against his, her tongue wet against his lips.

She began to gasp out incoherent little cries with each thrust and they were forced to break away from their kiss in order to breathe. She gripped him by the back of the neck and pressed her forehead against his as they continued to move against each other. He could feel her hot breath against his cheek and thought he could hear her breathing out whispered words each time he buried himself inside her:  _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou._

The sounds of her whispers provoked a sudden surge of intense emotion in him and he gripped her tighter, burying his face in her shoulder and thrusting ever deeper as he felt the pressure of his impending climax begin its gradual surge into his groin.

She met every thrust with the undulations of her own hips. Her small, breathy cries were becoming louder and more frequent. She gripped him tightly by the shoulders and arched her back, tilting her head back. He could feel the silky tendrils of her hair brushing against his arm where it supported her back.

He was mesmerized by the sight of her lithe body, still attached to him where it counted, but almost on display for his eyes only. Her breasts, creamy white and tipped with their delicious pink tips, bounced gently with each of his thrusts. He held her arched back with one strong arm and slipped the other hand up the center of her chest, sliding up along the soft skin of her neck and twining his fingers through her hair. He slid his hand back down again, pausing to gently squeeze one breast and tease at the tip, eliciting a soft moan from her. Goddamn she felt so amazing.

He replaced the fingertips at her breast with his tongue, and slid his hand down further until it was pressed in the juncture between their connected bodies. He found her slick bud, hot and throbbing, and began to stroke it slowly.

Her cries of pleasure grew even more in volume as he stroked her with his fingertips and continued to provide steady attention to her breasts with his mouth. Within moments he felt her slick muscles begin to constrict around him. Her hips bucked against him hard and her fingernails dug into his shoulders. Her loud cry as she orgasmed echoed through the large chamber and back to his ears. He felt the surge of pleasure in his shaft build to a crescendo. He was forced to lay her down quickly, lest he inadvertently lose control of his muscles and drop her when his own orgasm began to take over.

Her legs were still wrapped around him, their soft contact adding exponentially to his ecstasy as he pounded into her. A guttural yell erupted from his throat as the final surge of pleasure tore through him and carried him over the edge of his release.

They lay still and gasping for breath for several long moments. James finally gave up the struggle to keep from crushing her and slipped out of her to roll to the side.

He slipped his arm across her waist and was about to pull her body back against his when he noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. He had a sudden recollection of that morning that already seemed like a lifetime ago, when she had cried after they made love in the shower.

"Lola? Babe? What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

He was a little scared. He'd never seen her cry before the previous day. Even with all the intense stress they'd endured over the past few months, he'd never once seen her falter. The most emotional he'd seen her was the night after Mordin had died. That night she'd been violent and angry, not mournful and sad. She'd seemed to open up to him more and more since their confession of love before the Thorian's gifts, but crying was just something she didn't do.

She sniffed and wiped her tears. And then the bomb dropped.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

Several different thoughts got tangled up in James' head when her words hit his ears.

First was the visceral "oh shit" moment that was a residual instinct left over from his irresponsible teenage years when his biggest fear was of getting a girl pregnant. He had been so exceedingly fearful of that scenario that, in spite of infinite opportunities, he didn't even lose his virginity until he was seventeen, to a slightly older, more experienced girl who only managed to convince him it wasn't a death sentence by bringing the condom and putting it on for him.

The next thought was elation. He loved Shepard. More than he ever thought was possible to love another person. And she was having his baby.

But why the hell was she crying about it?

That's when the realization hit that this shouldn't have happened in the first place.

The Alliance didn't enforce compulsory sterilization among its soldiers, but it did  _strongly encourage_  them to take measures to prevent  _accidents_. Regardless of anti-fraternization regs, the Alliance wasn't stupid. If people wanted to fuck, they were going to do it. Better to be safe than sorry. So any soldier that wanted was granted free birth control of their choosing. He'd gone the route that required the least thinking on his part and gotten a vasectomy. He was assured that it would be easily reversible if he ever decided to have kids, but at the time had considered that an exceedingly remote possibility. He had to imagine Shepard had done something similar; of course considering her history who knew what was going on with her in the fertility department.

The other possibility teased at his brain and he didn't want to entertain the thought in the least. But it still reared its ugly head. Had she been with someone else? They hadn't exactly established that they were exclusive at first.

He could have continued that whole train of thought but decided it was a very,  _very_  slippery slope he didn't want to try to navigate at the moment.

She must have sensed his distress when that series of thoughts hit his brain.

"James," she said gently. "It's yours. And just so you know, I have as many questions as you do, but you  _know_  there's one simple explanation for all this if you just think about it."

One simple explanation. Shit, she was right. He heaved a sigh of relief. The Thorian had healed his wounds. It must have fixed other things, too.

His brow furrowed. "But...  _you_... did it, I dunno, heal you, too?" He realized his fingertips were digging tightly into her hip and forced himself to relax his grip. Before he could control it, his hand drifted to rest lightly on her flat belly.

She sighed and gave him a small smile, resting her hand over his larger one. The talking seemed to have evened out her mood somewhat.

"That's the only explanation I have," she shrugged a little helplessly before continuing. "I... ah. I was pretty broken after  _dying_. Cerberus couldn't fix all of me. When you're resurrected with a singular purpose, certain things suddenly have a much lower priority. Miranda told me about it after the mission was complete. All my parts are intact and functional, but not necessarily viable. She said I  _could_ potentially get pregnant, but it would certainly require medical assistance. As in IVF. Which would have been possible for me, at least. One of the first things young female soldiers are offered is to store their eggs... surely you also made a deposit before your, ah, procedure. They say it's to give us more options later on, but I kindof suspect they use the samples for other purposes. So... I had some hope of still having kids if we survived at least. But I never expected this."

"But Lola... this is practically a miracle. Why are you  _crying_  about it?"

She actually giggled at his question and he gave her a strange look in response.

"Fucking hormones. Sorry if it worried you, but you'd better get used to it."

He pulled her against him tightly and whispered in her ear. "I really want to make love to you again right now."

She answered him with a deep, lingering kiss.

"So, I take it you're okay with it?" she murmured when they'd pulled away from the kiss and his lips were busy kissing her shoulders again, working his way southward.

He let out a low hum of assent that sounded like a rumble deep in his chest. Before he could even think, the words were spilling from his lips.

"Lola, you couldn't make me happier unless you married me."

"That sounds like a plan," she said with a smile, and lifted his head back up to hers so she could kiss him.

* * *

Black was three sheets to the wind, but the other men seemed to be at least five or six. As he had predicted, he'd heard a  _lot_  of stories after they'd loosened up. Most of which had been about Shepard, and the more he heard, the more legendary she seemed to sound. Of course, her latest feat had already landed her in history books for the next several generations, and she'd already been a household name beforehand.

Anderson kept checking the clock on his omnitool and looking worried.

Finally Black had to say, "I don't think they're coming, man. You heard her voice earlier, didn't you? They were clearly having their own little  _celebration_  up there." He gestured upward with his thumb.

Anderson stared at him in blank drunkenness for a second before Black's point finally registered. The other man grinned at him and slurred, "You're a smart man, Black. James and Shepard. Yes, if I were them, I would take advantage of the time as well. Hah!"

"What about 'James and Shepard'?" a deep voice said from behind them.

They turned as a unit to see the savior of the galaxy walking into the room followed closely by the muscular marine.

"Shepard!" they all yelled in greeting. She grinned back at them and waved.

"Come have a drink to celebrate!" Bailey said, lurching out of his chair to find more glasses. The four men had been lounging around Bailey's desk as they celebrated.

Shepard seemed to be positively glowing. Her hair was down and just a little wild. She and James were both dressed in their tight-fitting flexible webbed body armor. They dumped the plates of their hardsuits in a corner and strolled towards the group.

They made quite the pair, Black thought. All agile assurance and deadly precision and grace. He noticed they still had their light weapons secured to belts at their waists.  _You don't leave anything to chance, do you?_ he observed with approval.

When James finally saw him, recognition hit the young man's face and it split into a wide grin. Black stood and stepped towards his friend.

"Jimmy. Glad to see you made it," he said quietly, his eyes glinting with pride.

James pulled him into a silent embrace that was nearly crushing with his strength and emotion. He heard James let out a deep breath before he finally said softly, "Glad to see you alive, Diego, but you'd better keep your fucking hands off my woman."

Black drew back abruptly and met James' eyes with surprise. The kid had a twinkle in his eye and his mouth was quirked into a wry smile. He couldn't help but let out a soft laugh. He supposed he did have a bit of a love 'em and leave 'em reputation, especially where James was concerned.

In a quiet voice that he hoped only James could hear, he said, "Son, she was all yours by the time I met her. I'm no fool to go chasing after things I have no chance at winning."

James grinned and slugged him lightly on the back. The kid seemed downright  _happy_. He didn't think he'd ever seen him in such high spirits. James looked at Shepard, and Black caught the charged look that passed between them. Shepard's already rosy cheeks blushed a tad brighter. Goddamn if she wasn't the most striking woman he'd ever seen, and James clearly must have the moves to keep her satisfied from the looks of things.

Before he knew it, he found himself abruptly in a tight and very pleasant embrace with the woman in question. He was awash in the pleasant smell of her; a lingering almondy scent that was mixed with the more subtle but pungent, spicy scent of her sweat. His body responded instantly.

_This is not an effective way to rebel... against anything_ , he thought as he cursed his body for its rebellious response to her touch, but if she could tell she was gracious enough to ignore it.  _You might as well just face the fact that you're a dirty old man, Mason._

"Good to see you made it, Black," she said softly into his ear.

"You, too, Shepard," he said. "How's the ink?"

She pulled back and met his eyes with a smile. "It's great... You were right you know."

"About what?" he asked, his eyebrows raised in inquiry.

"He proposed," she shrugged as if it were the most commonplace occurrence in the world, and cast an affectionate glance at James.

She gave Black a quick peck on the cheek, leaving him standing in stunned silence before moving to greet the other three men in the room with equal affection.

A fucking force of nature, he thought to himself, and tried to ignore the smug look James was giving him.

"You're one lucky bastard, kid," Black said quietly to James.

"Man, you have no idea," James replied and his chest seemed to swell as he said it.

* * *

The _Normandy_ was docked, but flying it anywhere was out of the question. The pilot was in no condition to reliably get them anywhere. When they boarded, they'd found Joker drunk in the starboard lounge. He was stretched out on one of the sofas with his head in EDI's lap and his arms wrapped tightly around her waist while she gently ran her fingers through his hair.

Shepard worried that they might need to find another pilot. But at least her initial concern about the state of the ship's systems had been unfounded. EDI had effectively departed, but had left the ship with a functional VI system that could easily fulfill all the basic tasks she'd been responsible for, which had been primarily control of the ship's defensive systems.

But Shepard needed to get back to Earth. They hadn't been able to contact the Alliance base in London and she needed to know how the rest of her crew had fared. She hoped they were all celebrating the end of the war as well, but needed to find out for herself before she could rest.

Black had headed back to the Wards and they had left Anderson and Bailey on the Citadel. The two men had been lost in reminiscence of old battles and Bailey had found another bottle of Scotch that Anderson was only too happy to take part in sharing.

Only a few of her crew had remained aboard the _Normandy_. Tali had opted to stay, arguing that Adams may need her expertise in engineering. It hadn't occurred to her why Garrus had been so restless about getting back to the ship until she found him with Tali in a dark corner of engineering locked in a passionate embrace. She found Adams at a console on the far side attempting to give them some privacy.

"Good work out there," Adams said, beaming at her when she greeted him. "By the way, I wouldn't go down to the lower level. Daniels and Donnelly have been at it for hours... is it a Scottish thing? I couldn't imagine keeping up with a woman as energetic as Daniels sounds." He shook his head in wonder.

Shepard just laughed. She wasn't surprised.

"I imagine they had a lot of pent up energy, knowing those two. It sure took them long enough." She studied the man for a second, then said, "You should be relaxing, Greg. We won."

He shook his head ruefully and shrugged, "I know. But I can't sleep yet and I've never been very good at idle entertainment. Believe it or not, fiddling with this stuff relaxes me."

"Sounds like you need a girlfriend, Greg," Shepard teased.

He laughed, "Yeah, maybe now I'll actually find time for one, thanks to you. Take care, Shepard."

She met James a few minutes later in the shuttle bay.

"Do you actually trust me to fly this thing?" James asked as they boarded one of the _Normandy_ 's Kodiak shuttles and settled down in the cockpit.

"Let's just call this a test to see how  _responsible_  you can be," she jibed.

He snorted at her and said, "Babe, if you're worried about me being a bad influence, you're in trouble. I'm gonna teach him all the  _worst_  ways to behave."

She looked at him testily. He laughed and said, "And then I'm going to tell him exactly why it's stupid to act that way. Of course, all the answers will be 'because Mom won't have sex with me if I let you do that.'"

She punched him in the shoulder. He grinned at her playfully.

"And what if it's a girl?" she asked.

"Well, then I'll teach her all the worst ways  _boys_  behave and tell her to stay the hell away from them... and keep my gun by the door because girls never listen anyway."

She snorted. "You would've gotten along great with my dad if he were still alive. You're right. I never listened to him. I rebelled early and often."

"Oh yeah? What constituted 'rebellion' to a teenage Zoe Shepard?"

"I stole Dad's guns and went to the shooting range, mostly. He hated that. Mom pretended to hate it, too, but I think she was secretly proud of me for doing it."

James laughed and shook his head. "I wish I'd known you then."

"No... you really don't. Boys hated me. I was mean. I never had boyfriends because I always felt like I had something to prove. I had to be better than any boy I knew. I have no idea where all the anger came from, either."

"Well, your folks must've done something right," he said, looking at her warmly.

* * *

When they finally made it to London it was near dawn and nearly impossible to find a spot to land amidst the rubble. There were people celebrating everywhere there was a clear street _,_  which was some comfort to Shepard. Seeing  _life_  going on around her, surrounded by all the destruction, made the entire ordeal feel worthwhile.

They managed to make their way to the building they'd been in only hours before and found it utterly deserted. Shepard had a sinking feeling in her gut and noticed James' face was drawn and worried as they hunted through the building looking for survivors. There weren't even any bodies.

When they reached the upper floors they began to hear the sounds of voices and laughter and hurried up onto the roof. There they found the entire crew, along with many of the other soldiers that had been stationed there, and most of them were utterly drunk.

"Shepard!" a familiar voice yelled out and before she could blink she felt herself being wrapped in a tight embrace and spun around in a circle. A warm pair of lips pressed against her cheek and then she was spun again and caught up in another strong embrace.

"Hold on, geeze! I'm getting dizzy here," she said through elated laughter. When she realized it was Steve who had hugged her last she grinned and wrapped her arms around him again tightly.

"Damn, it's so good to see you in one piece."

"Ditto," he said.

She turned to see Kaidan nearby grinning like an idiot. "Shepard," he said, his voice catching slightly, "I wanted to be the first to tell you, Steve and I are getting married."

Her eyes grew wide. "Holy shit! That's fantastic! Congratulations!" She grabbed them both together in a tight embrace and struggled to hold back her tears. She was still surprised by the sudden surges of emotions she kept feeling, but realized that sometimes it wasn't so bad. Being overwhelmed with happiness was a new thing, but definitely something worth savoring.

James was right behind her, his large hand warm on her lower back. He leaned to whisper something in her ear. She shook her head and said, "After I talk to everyone first."

When she found Liara, Javik was right beside her. The prothean bowed his head to her in an odd way she'd never seen him do before. He spoke a series of words that she didn't understand at first, but gradually the meaning resolved itself in her mind.

"You have honored my people's memory with the destruction wrought upon our common enemy. You are my friend now and for always. From now on, I will consider you the Avatar of Hope. Thank you, Commander."

She pulled him into an embrace which he reluctantly returned. When he pulled back, he glanced between her and James and said with an expression of mild surprise, "Congratulations to the both of you."

Liara stood beside him, beaming. When Shepard turned to her they embraced tightly.

"Shepard," Liara said against her shoulder. "I'm so relieved you're alright. I was so sure I'd never see you again."

When she pulled away, Shepard could see tears in her friend's eyes.

"I'm fine, Liara. Better than fine, really." She grinned when she felt James slide an arm around her waist.

Liara's eyes lit up. "Javik said congratulations... are you two...?" She glanced at Javik in question. His eyes all seemed to twinkle at the same time and Shepard thought he was actually smiling for once. Liara seemed to read his mind and turned her head to face Shepard again.

"Oh, Shepard, that's wonderful!" Liara embraced her again. "Oh!" She exclaimed then looked at Javik again, whispering, "Do you mind if I tell them?"

"No, my beautiful Asari," Javik said, a look of utter adoration in his eyes.

"Shepard," Liara said. "Javik suggested that if you and James survived, that I shouldn't wait to conceive a child from our melding. I would like it if she knew the both of you, now that it is possible."

Shepard and James were both stunned. The possibility had never occurred to them.

Shepard recovered her voice. She was barely able to contain the emotion welling up in her when she said, "Liara, that would be... wonderful."

A moment later, they found Karin Chakwas sitting quietly and contemplating the rising sun over the ruins of the city around them.

"Karin?" Shepard inquired as she walked up behind the older woman.

Chakwas turned and smiled warmly at her and nodded at James.

"How are you feeling?" the doctor asked. Always the caretaker, Shepard thought. She sat down next to the other woman and wrapped her arm around her. She noticed James wander off to greet some of the other soldiers.

"I feel fantastic. We're alive."

Chakwas turned back to gaze over the ruins of the city around them.

"Oh, Shepard," she sighed. "I've just been thinking about what happens next. Until now I've refrained from considering the possibility of 'afterwards' but now it's real, and I don't want to think about it, but I can't help myself."

"Karin," Shepard said gently. "You're welcome to serve on the _Normandy_ as long as you want, you know."

The older woman sighed and turned to look at her. "I know, but things will be very different without you there."

Shepard was taken aback. She hadn't even considered the possibility of leaving the _Normandy_. But things were different now. She and James had joked about the kid thing, but it was suddenly very real now that she was talking to someone who clearly had a vested interest in the outcome.

She knew she wanted this part of  _life_  with James more than anything. She just hadn't considered the logistics. She'd been raised on ships all her life, but had always longed for something different. She could give that to her own child. But she would have to change her own life drastically. And clearly her choice would be affecting a multitude of other people. Karin was just the first person to make that clear to her.

Could she even give up that life? That was the biggest question. And she didn't even know what James wanted. Clearly they had a long, serious conversation in their near future.

Chakwas finally broke the silence, "My place is on the _Normandy_ , as long as there are crew there who know me. I will miss you, though."

Shepard just gripped her friend's hand wordlessly and they sat together watching the sun rise.


	19. Forever

James stood at the end of the aisle making every effort not to scratch his balls. But they  _itched_. He still couldn't comprehend why he'd let Steve and Kaidan talk him into getting them  _waxed_  the day before his wedding. " _Oh, Shepard will love it, you just_ _have_ _to do it_." Bastards. He was convinced it was some evil plot on their part to make him as uncomfortable as possible on his wedding day. He'd have to come up with payback when the two men finally tied the knot themselves in a few months.

He was standing beneath an elaborately constructed arch at the end of a red carpet on the only intact landing dock of London's sky port, and the  _Normandy_ was parked behind him. He had to admit the setting was pretty spectacular. Nothing was behind them but the  _Normandy_ nestled gently in her docking clamps and the vast landscape of the outlying English countryside behind her, all rolling green hills and farmland. And the sun was actually shining.

The sudden realization hit him that he was standing up here waiting to marry a woman who easily had to be the most famous individual in existence at the moment. He suddenly felt entirely inadequate. He never questioned his own feelings for her, but why the hell had she chosen  _him_? How had he gotten so damn lucky?

The thoughts drifted through his mind and he just let them. He wasn't fool enough to run away at this stage, or ever, for that matter. Whatever her reasons were, and whatever happened, he was bound and determined to see this through. He loved her, and he wanted this. But he knew her attentions were going to be divided. She'd tossed around the idea of retiring, but they both knew that wasn't in the cards for her yet. He just hoped that somewhere in between getting married and helping out Alliance brass she'd have time to let him pay a little attention to her.

He glanced beside him at Black who looked almost as uncomfortable as he did in his own dress blues. He had to wonder how long it had been since the old soldier had worn them. He'd actually been surprised when he found out the man hadn't officially been discharged from the Alliance. He'd technically been MIA and somehow had managed to stay that way all these years. Until now, anyway. The most surprising thing was that the man had actually been an officer, the small gold bars of 2nd Lieutenant were clearly marked on his epaulets. How did he go from a ranked officer to a mercenary? James supposed he could imagine stranger things happening. He'd very nearly gone the same route himself before Anderson had appeared and dragged him away from Omega and he'd first met her.

_Oh shit, the music's starting_. He felt a bead of sweat trail down between his ass cheeks. He swallowed and stared down the aisle between all the attendees, most of whom he didn't even know, and he didn't think Shepard did, either. But he knew this was a huge media event, so they would have made sure to fill the seats. Not that they would have had much trouble. Shepard may not have known all of them, but  _everyone_  knew her. He was sure every single guest there was either part of her crew or a member of the troops that were stationed in London or on the fleets still orbiting Earth. There were certainly a lot of blue uniforms and the ones in the front rows were sparkling with the gold decorations of higher ranking officers. There was so much shining gold in the front row he was nearly blinded.

He caught the eye of Hannah Shepard for a second and she seemed to give him a small, reassuring smile. She'd been along for the ride when the Crucible had made its trek to the Sol system and now stood in the front row awaiting the moment when her daughter would walk down the aisle.

He'd been surprised at how reserved the woman had been upon meeting her just the day before, but she had a comforting demeanor that set him at ease. She glowed with fierce pride at seeing Shepard again. The two women were nothing alike, aside from family resemblance - Hannah was as strikingly beautiful as her daughter, with bright, piercing blue eyes and dark hair that was now closer to grey than black. She was several inches shorter, and much more soft-spoken than her daughter, however. How a Rear Admiral could actually seem  _maternal_  was beyond him, but she did.

James decided that Shepard must have taken after her father in personality. When he'd mentioned the thought to her, Shepard had scoffed at it and said, "Don't let her fool you. Mom is much tougher than she looks. She was the disciplinarian when I was growing up -  _Dad_ was the softie."

"So you were a daddy's girl?" he'd asked.

She'd grown sad for a second and then shrugged, "I suppose you could say that. At least until I reached my rebellious teenage years. And then he died. Mom and I barely spoke in the few years between losing him and me enlisting. Funny thing, it wasn't until after I died that we actually started to have some kind of relationship."

James caught movement at the end of the aisle and directed his attention to the far end of the dock. A series of men and women came into view, walking arm-in-arm. At least he knew all of  _them_. As they approached the dais and began to line up near him he relaxed a little bit. All the men were familiar members of the  _Normandy_ 's crew and were wearing dress blues, even the ones who hadn't been 'official' members of the Alliance crew. Garrus and Javik's suits seemed to be matched but missing a few crucial details that would identify them as Alliance. Subtle, but effective for general public consumption. Some of the men gave him encouraging looks.

All the women were in slinky floor-length gold-colored gowns and filed in on the opposite side, leaving a space for the bride. There was one delicately beautiful woman he didn't recognize at all and was suddenly stunned when her glowing eyes twinkled at him and he realized that it was Tali. She was completely out of her suit for the occasion thanks to the immune system boost the Geth had given her people, and was stunning in the gold-colored gown she wore. She looked almost human, except for her eyes and a series of unique tattoos that adorned her fair, almost translucent skin. She seemed to blush slightly and smile when she looked across the aisle at someone else, and James glanced to see Garrus smiling back at her in the odd way he had, his mandibles quivering slightly and his eyes lighting up with joy.  _Huh, wonders never cease,_  James thought.

The music changed and he tensed as hundreds of heads turned in unison to watch the other end of the dock.  _This is it_ , he thought, his eyes steadily watching the red-carpeted pathway down the dock. He held stock still as the music continued.

A moment later he saw her and his heart skipped a beat. His mouth grew dry and his vision seemed to narrow to focus solely on her. Her eyes met his immediately and held them the entire time it took her to walk down the carpeted aisle towards him. Her arm was solidly in Admiral Anderson's strong grasp. She looked fucking amazing.

Her hair was bound up in some complicated configuration with small bits of gold flecks in it here and there that caught the sunlight and sparkled like droplets of dew. She was wearing a gown cut in an Asari style in deep Alliance-blue silk. It had elaborate gold embroidery that decorated the bodice and long sleeves and trailed down the length of the flowing skirt. It fit her snugly around her torso and had a high collar, but left little to the imagination between her chest and her navel, with only the briefest sections of embroidered blue and gold silk crossing her skin to hold the dress together in strategic locations.

He instantly forgot how much his balls itched. Of course now he was suddenly concerned he wouldn't be able to hide his erection from the rest of the galaxy. He hoped the long jacket of his dress uniform was enough to hide it.

When he saw the slightly shell-shocked look in her eyes change to amusement he knew she'd been in his head. He returned the favor briefly and found the same knot of emotions he'd been struggling with all morning, and was instantly relieved that he wasn't the only one dealing with stage fright today.

When she finally reached him and Anderson let go of her arm he heard her whisper, "We can do this now. We have forever to do the rest."

He gripped her hand tightly and they turned as one to the officiant.

It wasn't until they were finally kissing at the end of the ceremony when his hand slid up from her waist that he realized the dress was entirely backless. He pulled her harder against him and slipped his hand up higher, his large palm gliding against her soft skin, his fingertips feeling the subtle outlines of her tattoo and the ticklish pulse of biotic energy that emanated from its delicate pattern.

She murmured against his lips, "Mmm, that feels good."

"It'll feel better when I can get you out of that dress," he whispered.

* * *

_This is Diana Allers reporting from the Port of London where Commander Zoe Shepard has just wed Lieutenant James Vega, an N7 Alliance marine who was part of Shepard's team in the effort to defeat the Reapers._

_Theirs is a true love story that began over a year ago when Admiral David Anderson recruited Lieutenant Vega to be Shepard's bodyguard while she was in Alliance custody after surrendering herself for the unfortunate but tragically necessary destruction of the mass relay in the Bahak system._

_Their love blossomed over the course of the war, but they were forced to resist their feelings for the sake of defeating the Reapers. Now the two of them are finally finding the ending they deserve. Two heroes united in victory, and clearly in love._

The camera panned around to catch the wedding party as they paused before entering the  _Normandy_.

"That's our cue, James," Shepard said.

James met her gaze with a smile before dipping his head to capture her lips in his. He made this one last, teasing at her tongue a little with his own at first and holding her tightly against him for a long moment. He wanted to touch her more, but resisted. They were on camera now. He had to keep this tame. But he could do things with his lips that would leave her breathless, he knew. And he did. When he changed the pressure of his kiss and slipped his tongue between her lips more forcefully he felt her body instantly respond and she moaned against him. He drifted his hand down to her lower back and gripped her tightly at the hip. Her lips were moving hotly against his in response and he nearly lost touch with his original intention as his arousal suddenly grew between them.

He was finally drawn back to reality when loud cheers erupted from around them and he released her from the embrace. He gazed at her in nearly stunned wonder as she beamed back at him. This amazing woman was his now. For the rest of their lives.

* * *

_**Escondido, California. Six months later**._

"That looks like an antique. Does it even run?" Shepard said, waving dust out of her face as James pulled the cover back.

"It's not an antique... yet. My  _tio_ bought it new the year I was born. It's just a replica commemorating the bicentennial of the original coming off the line in Detroit. She's a beauty though, isn't she? And she's ours now."

He pulled the cover the rest of the way off, revealing the shiny cherry-red paint job of a convertible 2158 Thunderbird; an exact replica in appearance to the original that had been designed over two hundred years earlier.

He moved back around to the front of the car, admiring it with eager eyes. "Of course, the engine's been equipped with fuel cells and an eezo core. But the chassis and suspension are authentic. This baby rides sooo fine. I still remember the first time my  _tio_ took me out for a drive. I was six and he set me on his lap and let me hold the wheel. The fucking  _power_  was incredible."

"You have a hard-on right now, don't you?" she asked frankly.

He glanced at her in surprise and she smiled back at him knowingly.

"Yeah, actually..." he said with a smirk. "Wanna do something about it?"

She grinned at him and moved around to the front of the car, sliding her body between him and the grille and resting her backside on the hood. She reached one hand down and pressed it against the bulge at the front of his pants while her other hand trailed up his chest to rest against the tattooed side of his neck.

"How long until your uncle gets back?" she whispered huskily. She pulled him towards her slightly and continued to stroke his hard length through his pants.

"Long enough," he growled, leaning in to kiss her while he slid his hands down her sides until he reached the hem of her sundress halfway down her smooth thighs.

She was infinitely grateful for her decision to switch to dresses a few months earlier. She'd always found them impractical before, but now that she was pregnant she had a newfound appreciation for many things she hadn't previously given much thought to. It was just easier to wear a dress than to try to fit into a pair of pants anymore. And James certainly seemed to appreciate the change in her wardrobe.

She moaned against his mouth when his fingertips slid up her bare thigh beneath her dress and teased at the bottom edge of her panties, then slipped beneath the sheer fabric briefly, bestowing a soft caress against her warm, slick flesh. He slid his hands up a little higher to find the waistband of her panties and tugged them down over her hips. She shimmied her thighs until the garment fell down to the concrete floor of the garage beneath her bare feet.

His hands were immediately gripping her bare bottom beneath her dress and lifting her up to set her on the hood of the car as he continued to kiss her. He began to trail kisses down her neck and drifted one hand up her shoulder, then pulled the strap of her dress down her upper arm until one full, creamy breast was exposed.

He bent his head to tease and suck at her nipple while his fingertips drifted back between her spread thighs, finding her slick center and stroking gently. Her contact with reality faltered as his deft touch teased her nearly to climax.

"Slow down," she said with a gasp.

He lifted his head and gave her a wolfish grin in response and said, "What if I don't want to?"

He lowered himself to his knees and pushed her dress up over her thighs. Her heels were resting on the bumper of the car and he gripped both her ankles, urging her feet onto his shoulders as he descended on her. She lay back with a sigh, letting him have his way.

"Oh fuck," she said breathily as his tongue began its nimble dance over her eager flesh. Her fingers grasped his head and threaded through his thick hair that he'd let grow out more than usual over the last few months.

True to form, he had her at the edge of ecstasy within moments. She was staggered by the pleasure she felt building abruptly in her core and cried out his name when her orgasm hit, her hips bucking roughly against his tongue.

Her eyes were closed and she was still drifting on the waves of the aftermath when she felt his thick length slip into her and the surge began to build again. The feel of his hard flesh filling her was so overwhelming she couldn't even begin to describe it, but it felt incredible. It seemed like  _everything_  felt incredible now. She assumed it was just hormonal, but it very well could have been the elation of them being  _alive_  and the war finally being over.

She gasped and opened her eyes to look at him. He was gazing back at her intently, the look of utter tenderness in his eyes so strong she found it impossible to look away.

"Take off your shirt," she whispered, needing to see more of him. She wanted to touch him, but the logistics of their lovemaking had gradually become more complicated lately, so she had to take what she could get. The sight and feel of him moving inside her was certainly enough to keep her primed.

He paused his thrusting and stripped his shirt off over his head, tossing it over the windshield into the front seat of the car, leaving his silver dog tags to jangle against his bare, tanned chest.

He had her legs draped over each of his arms and was slowly thrusting into her as she lay back on the hood of the car, her swollen belly prominent between them.

"James," she said, and it came out almost as a plea. He just smiled at her in response and slipped his hand down her thigh between them as though anticipating her needs.

"Yes," she sighed when he began to stroke her again. "But go slow. I just want to feel you inside me for awhile. You feel so good."

"Anything you want, Lola," he said, and he closed his eyes and began moving his hips against hers again, thrusting more slowly and teasing at her velvety bud gently with his fingertips.

She watched his sculpted muscles flex as he undulated his hips against hers. Her eyes drifted over the hard, smooth lines of his body and settled on his face, watching his parted lips as he panted slowly with each steady, deep thrust. His brow furrowed and she felt his movements increase in tempo. She gasped and arched her back at the more intense attention he began giving her throbbing bud.

He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I love you, Lola," he whispered. She gasped out a frantic cry as her climax seized her suddenly for the second time. Her legs wrapped around his hips, pulling him against her tightly and she heard his own rough cry and felt his thick sex pulsing inside her as he was carried over the edge of his own orgasm.

He stood breathing heavily for several moments before pulling out of her and fastening up his pants in a slight daze. He found a clean towel from a nearby basket of laundry and handed it to her.

"You're not thinking of  _driving_  to Vancouver are you?" she asked as she cleaned up and adjusted her clothing, then retrieved her panties and put them back on.

James looked at her with a hurt expression. "Babe..."

"Not that I'd object, but we are kindof on a deadline?" she gestured at her swollen belly.

"Don't worry, we'll get there in time. But I do plan to go for a drive. The nearest port that's anything close to functional is in San Francisco. We just have to get her there, and get her on a ship to Vancouver."

"Are the highways even clear between here and there?" she asked.

"Clear enough," he said. "Most of the Coast Highway north of LA was untouched, and the highways outside San Francisco are passable now, at least. But we could go anywhere, youknow. We don't have to go to Vancouver."

They'd been over this. It had been their first true argument as a married couple - where to settle down. He'd made the idle suggestion for her to retire completely after they were finally able to leave London; to stay home and raise their child when it came. She'd looked at him like he had two heads and he'd instantly realized his mistake and backpedaled.

"We do have to go to Vancouver. We're soldiers, James," she said. "It's in our blood... you know this. And now more than ever I need to be available. The best I can do is take a position that will allow us to at least stay in one place."

He gave her a resigned look when he said, "But a  _Councilor_  is hardly a soldier. You hate bureaucracy."

"It will give me the flexibility I need right now. The flexibility  _we_  need. I can do this job from anywhere. Once the baby is old enough of course I'll have to travel more, but now that the war is over I have to do what I can to help. And we'll be close enough to the base for you to finish your N7 training."

"Where is this cabin of your parents' anyway? Sounds like it's out in the boonies somewhere..." he asked, skeptical.

"Well, it's  _ours_  now, thanks to Mom. It's only about half an hour from Vancouver by shuttle. A hundred miles, give or take. It's... peaceful there, and was outside the zone of Reaper destruction."

"I thought you said you'd never been there."

"I haven't, but I've seen pictures. There's an aspen grove and a lake, and no neighbors for miles. It  _looks_  peaceful."

He chuckled at her, but didn't argue.

"Hop in," he said, opening the car door for her. "Let's take this baby for a spin."

When she settled herself in the front seat and he closed the door he leaned in and gave her a lingering kiss, then trotted around to the driver's side and punched the button to raise the garage door.

When he started the engine and revved it, it made a low, rumbling purr.

"That's what I'm talkin' about," he said and looked at her with child-like enthusiasm before pulling out into the sunny California afternoon.

* * *

_**100 miles east of Vancouver, Six Years Later.** _

Hope Shepard was the daughter of a legend, but she didn't know it yet. All she knew was that today was a big day and her sister and best friend would be here soon.

"Mama! When is Zia and Robbie getting here?" she asked exitedly, peaking her face up over the kitchen counter where her mother was busy with preparations for their guests.

"When  _are_  Zia and Robbie getting here," her mother corrected her.

Hope made a face and sighed.

"Okay, when  _are_  Zia and Robbie getting here?"

"Soon," her mother said cryptically.

She heard the familiar whine of a shuttle descending outside and her big blue eyes lit up.

"They're here!" she gasped and ran towards the back of the house, her little black curl of a ponytail trailing behind her. She stampeded out the back door that opened onto the huge landing pad behind the house, her mother following close behind.

It was a 'reunion', her mother had told her, and that meant all their old friends were going to be here drinking and talking about boring grown up stuff, but it also meant she got to see her friends and she was eager to show them the new things she'd found in the grove.

Her dad was already standing out on the landing pad directing the pilot where to land. When she ran up to him, he immediately lifted her up and set her on his broad shoulders.

"Hey,  _mi'ja_. Remember the signals I taught you?" he asked.

"Yep!" she said enthusiastically and began mimicking his earlier motions with her own small arms, indicating where the shuttle should position to avoid the trees that bordered the landing pad on three sides.

A few moments later the shuttle powered down and the doors opened up.

Several people exited and she tapped her dad on the head insistently. "Let me down!"

He laughed and agilely reached up to grip her beneath her arms and set her on the ground again. She ran at once to the little Asari girl who had stepped out of the shuttle next to a small, dark-haired human boy. She spoke urgently to them both and within moments the three were running off among the slender white trunks of the sunlit aspen grove behind the house.

* * *

"She's been bouncing off the walls all morning," Shepard said as she sidled up next to James and they watched their daughter run off into the woods with her sister. Little Robbie Alenko trailed closely behind the two girls.

"Well, hopefully she'll burn off all that energy over the next couple days," he said, slipping his arm around her waist and pulling her forward to greet their guests.

Liara was the first to step forward and embrace Shepard and James in turn. Javik was beside her with a small bundle in a sling across his torso that Shepard realized suddenly was a baby.

"Liara! I didn't even know you were pregnant!"

Her friend looked a little embarrassed. "It was a spur of the moment thing. Zia misses her sister so much during the year, we decided we would have another one sooner rather than later, and I had to time it so she'd arrive before our trip."

"This is Janiri," Javik said, his deep voice infused with reverence. He offered the small blue bundle to Shepard, who took her gingerly.

"We call her Janie," Liara explained. Shepard gazed into the small Asari's deep blue eyes. She was exquisite and made a bubbling coo as she looked up at Shepard.

"Congratulations to both of you," she said, looking at both Liara and Javik in turn. She gently handed the child back to her father.

"How are you two settling in on Thessia?"

"As well as can be expected," Liara said. "There is still so much to do to rebuild, but things have come a long way. Of course you already know what's happening in the rest of the galaxy, with your connections. Oh! Here's something you probably don't know: Javik and I are writing a book. It's called 'Journeys with the Prothean.' I think it's a love story but he thinks its an exploration of Prothean history. I'll send you a copy when it's finished."

"What about your other side project?" Shepard asked, being deliberately vague.

Liara smiled mysteriously. "I'm sure you know how that's going as well, but your idea to decentralize was a good one. The new network is in place. Harper's former organization is being re-branded under Miranda's leadership and will serve as our primary revenue stream. But most information sharing will continue to follow the same procedures as before. No need to alert the assets that things have changed."

"That's good to hear, Liara," Shepard said. Her friend's resourcefulness never ceased to amaze her.

"Well, I'm happy that you reconsidered our partnership. It will be nice to work with you again, Zoe, even if it is only sporadically," she said warmly.

Liara and Javik moved away and Shepard watched for a second as her friends headed into the large, sprawling 'cabin' that had become home for her little family over the past six years. 

Before she and James had arrived, she'd only seen pictures of the house and none of the angles of the shots had prepared her for the size of it. It had taken her almost a year to get accustomed to having so much space to move around in for a change, after living her entire life on ships. She'd knocked around it almost aimlessly for the last few months of her pregnancy, preferring to stay outside where she could see the sky as opposed to indoors in its massive rooms.

James had finally taken the initiative on prepping the nursery, showing up one day after a long week of N7 training with furniture and cans of paint. "We're about to have a kid, you know. It wouldn't kill us to be prepared."

Their attempt at preparation had resulted in him finger-painting silly things on her massively swollen belly after making love amidst the dropcloths on the floor of the room they had chosen to be Hope's.

When Hope was three, James had suggested more kids and Shepard had immediately shot him down. "One little bundle of energy is enough, I think." But his other suggestion had made sense: Have a get-together once a year and invite her old crew to stay with them for an extended visit. This was their third annual reunion so far, and each one had served as a reminder of how far they had come and how much they truly had to be thankful for.

Steve and Kaidan stepped towards her and greeted her with warm embraces.

"How's my ship,  _Admiral_?" Shepard said teasingly.

Kaidan laughed. "She's doing well  _Councilor_ ," he shot back, then his tone grew wistful. "It isn't the same without you. Or EDI. We did finally talk Joker into joining us here this year, at least." Kaidan gestured with his chin to a tall, bearded man in a baseball cap. He was standing across the landing pad chatting animatedly with James who had left her side to greet the other guests while she talked with Liara.

Shepard laughed out loud when she saw her old pilot. "That's fantastic! What did you have to do to get him away from the Citadel for leave?"

"Well, I had a little help from Tali and EDI, actually. He said he wasn't going anywhere on leave where EDI couldn't go with him, so Tali engineered a little QEC Holo-Comm. He'll have to show it to you."

As they were looking at Joker, the pilot lifted his arm and tapped on his omni-tool. A second later a life-sized holographic image of EDI coalesced into existence beside him and waved hello to James. Shepard laughed when she saw James' reaction; she could clearly see him mouth the words: "Holy shit! That's awesome! Hi EDI!"

"Well, there you go," Kaidan said with a laugh.

"She changed her hair... among other things," Shepard commented as she looked at the image of  _Normandy_ 's former AI, who was dressed in a flowing ankle-length summer dress, with straight, long hair drifting down her back. She saw Joker's hand rise up and hover at her insubstantial waist for a second before dropping again abruptly. Shepard thought she caught a slight look of chagrin pass across his face. He was still clearly adjusting to being away from EDI for extended periods.

"I'm glad you convinced him to keep piloting the  _Normandy_. She's still his ship, too, even if she's 'lost her soul', as he puts it."

At that point the entire crowd seemed to start gravitating towards the house and they followed. They'd set up a wet bar on their huge deck overlooking the lake and Joker immediately took residence behind it and started mixing and serving, while EDI's image provided him constant company.

She took a moment to reach out to Hope with her mind and laughed when she saw the three kids stripped down to their underwear and playing in a sunny patch of mud on the shore of the lake not far from the house. She'd have to remember to get a bath ready for them before sunset.

She grabbed a beer and saw Kaidan leaning on the deck railing and began making her way to him to continue their conversation. She was distracted halfway by a lilting, accented voice calling her name.

"Shepard!"

She turned and saw Tali's slight, curvy figure dressed in a halter top and a pair of low-cut pants that hugged her full hips. Her waist-length brown hair drifted softly in the light breeze coming off the lake. Garrus wasn't far behind her.

She hugged both of them and they moved to find seats nearby. As they were sitting, Shepard's nostrils caught a subtle smell of something burning and she saw Garrus perk up.

"Smells like Jimmy might be lighting things on fire... I'd better go supervise," he said, standing with determination and leaving her sitting with Tali.

Tali laughed, "I guess he couldn't stomach girl talk."

"Nah, I suppose he thinks he needs to calibrate the grills," Shepard laughed.

Tali said, "He is very conscientious about our diets since we've been here. It's not easy to find dextro food on Earth without importing it. We've actually started growing our own on Rannoch."

Tali laughed softly and said almost incredulously, "Shepard, I think we're becoming farmers. He wants to start mass production of dextro produce. I tried to tell him the Liveships could handle it, but he wouldn't hear it. It turns out the climate on Rannoch is ideal. Lots of sun. Although I suppose I understand his urgency considering the state Palaven is in. They're still having a rough time with recovery and rebuilding. I never thought it would be easier for the Quarians, but starting from scratch is certainly less stressful than trying to pick up the pieces."

Tali looked at Shepard almost beseechingly.

"Maybe the council can do something," Shepard said. They had to, she thought.

The new council had been far more effective than the old one, which she was thankful for, but she couldn't help but feel like she was the senior member. The previous council members had all been in the Embassies on the Citadel the day the Reapers had taken it, and had all been killed before she had gotten there. The new members were still green, but had been tempered by the war. They weren't fools and they didn't hesitate to act when something needed doing, but she still got the sense they looked to her far too often for an indication of the proper course of action. She would have to take advantage of her position and put Palaven on the table at the next meeting.

"How's the new house coming along?" Shepard asked, taking a swig from her beer.

Tali sighed and her eyes grew dreamy. "Only another month or two and we can move in. Hopefully Garrus'  _farming_  plans will be on their feet by then and we can take some time off. He has someone good in charge at least... Zen'Vael. He was the assistant to our lead botanist on the Liveships. He has a team of Geth helping, too." She laughed softly, "It still feels so strange to say that."

Tali took a sip of her Quarian cocktail and gazed out over the clear surface of the lake that stretched beyond the railing of the deck. Shepard propped her bare feet up on the empty seat Garrus had vacated and enjoyed the scenery. Having all her old friends around her again just felt  _right_.

A while later a deep, rumbling voice spoke from behind her. "Mind if I join you for a bit, sweetness?"

Shepard turned her head up in surprise to see Black, clad in a leather jumpsuit and carrying a sleek-looking helmet.

"Black! When did you get here?" she jumped up and he embraced her in a huge bear hug.

"I had some business in Vancouver yesterday, so I decided I'd take advantage of the nice weather and ride out this morning. It's amazing countryside; the world actually looks normal the farther you get from the cities."

He began unzipping his leathers and pulling them off, leaving him in casual attire. He wore a snug black t-shirt and denim jeans above a pair of sturdy black boots. The shirt accented his broad, muscular chest and revealed the intricate black tattoos that adorned both his arms down to the wrists.

"So, how does it feel to be  _officially_  retired now?" she smirked at him. She pulled an empty chair around for him to sit in, then grabbed two fresh beers and handed him one.

Black laughed softly. "It's not like I was  _hiding_  from the Alliance before. They just didn't put much effort into finding me, and I didn't bother making it easy for them. Funny thing is they actually owed me a shitload of back pay. So I bought myself a toy..." he gestured at the riding gear resting on the railing beside him. "And I thought while I was in the neighborhood I'd drop in on some old friends. So here I am." He grinned at her and settled back in his seat, taking a long swig as he gazed around at the scenery.

"Well, I wasn't sure you'd actually make it, but I'm glad you did," she said.

"This is some place you've got here, Shepard. How'd you pull this off?"

She shrugged. "It's been in the family for awhile. Mom deeded it to us as a wedding gift. She and dad never lived here though. I think it must have been a couple generations since any Shepard actually stepped foot in it before we moved in. But it feels good to have the place full of people once in awhile."

Black just nodded and looked around for a few minutes, silently enjoying his cold beer and the view. Shepard noticed his eyes lingering on a solitary female figure leaning on the deck railing several yards away.

"You remember Karin from the wedding, don't you?" Shepard asked out of the blue.

Black looked at her, blinking in confusion. "Karin who?"

Shepard smiled knowingly and nodded in the direction he'd been looking. "Karin Chakwas. She's the  _Normandy_ 's medical officer, and a good friend. I can introduce you again if you want."

"Ah, that's Karin," he said and chuckled. "I admit I don't remember much from your wedding day. That whole week was a blur for me, what with getting sucked back into the Alliance and all. Besides, that was six years ago. A lot has happened since then."

Shepard nodded in understanding. A lot had happened in the last six years. Most of it had been an improvement over the previous few years, but there had been far too many deaths to mourn as well. She and James had resolved to keep looking to the future and that had gotten them through the worst of it. Having each other didn't hurt, either.

"Anyway," Black said with a shrug, "I'm a grown man. I can introduce myself."

Shepard studied him for a moment in amusement as he continued to sit, watching the other woman from afar.

"She doesn't bite, you know. And I'm sure she'd like the company," Shepard said teasingly. She nudged him with one bare foot. She wondered how long it had been since he'd actually had a conversation with a grown woman as intelligent and together as Karin was. Black glared at her and grumbled something under his breath before abruptly standing and striding with purpose across the deck.

She and Tali laughed out loud as they watched him go.

* * *

Hope was engrossed in building a mini mud fortress with her sister and Robbie when she paused and tilted her head to one side.

"My dad's coming," she said. The other two children both turned their heads to look into the empty woods behind them.

"How d'you know?" Robbie asked, his eyes wide.

"The trees said so. Your dad's coming, too, Robbie. That must mean it's suppertime, mmm. Ew, and  _bath_ time, too."

"That's silly," Zia said. "Trees can't talk."

"Can, too. They talk to me all the time."

"Can not," Zia said sticking her little blue tongue out at her sister.

"Which dad?" Robbie said. "I have two dads."

"Well I have three dads," Zia said sticking her tongue out at Robbie. "Besides, yours aren't real dads because you're adopted."

"They are, too! They showed me the piece of paper that says it," the little boy objected with indignation.

A second later the little Asari's eyes grew big when the two grown-ups in question appeared as her sister had predicted from between the pale, uniform trunks of the aspen trees that surrounded them.

"What are you little monkeys getting into?" Hope's dad asked. He swooped down and Hope felt herself being flipped upside down. She giggled uncontrollably when he started tickling her.

"S-stop it!" she cried through her laughter.

"I gotta get the mud off you,  _mi'ja_. I figure tickling is the best way to do it. Unless you want a bath, of course."

"I'll take a bath! I promise!" she giggled.

Zia let out a yelp of excitement and wrapped herself around James' lower leg while Robbie got similar tickle treatment from Steve, who then set the boy up onto his shoulders and stooped to gather up their still mostly clean pile of discarded clothing.

There was a barrage of childish chatter as the three all started asking questions at once.

Steve laughed and said, "Hold on, one at a time or we can't hear you."

Zia spoke up first from her spot atop James' large foot. "Papa James, tell Hope trees can't talk."

James was thoughtful for a second while he navigated the path back to the house under the burden of several small limbs gripping his head and his right leg.

"What were the trees saying,  _mi'ja_?" he asked, tilting his head to look up at Hope where she sat upon his shoulders.

She shrugged. "They don't say words. Just pictures in my head. Sometimes sounds. I could see you and Uncle Steve walking down the path is all."

"Well, sometimes they talk to me, too," James said, looking down at the little blue child attached to his leg. "And maybe someday they'll talk to you, too,  _cariño_."

Robbie interjected, eager to get his own words in, "Tell Zia she doesn't have three dads!"

Steve laughed out loud and looked at James through the small fingers that were almost covering his eyes. "You'd better answer that one, man."

James' brow furrowed as he tried to figure out how to deal with the question. "Well, technically she does, I guess. She has me, and Hope's mama, and Javik. But Javik is kindof like her adopted dad."

James laughed when he saw the little boy wrinkle his forehead as he tried to grasp the complexity of what he'd just proposed.

"You'll understand it better when you're older,  _chiquito_."

* * *

Several hours later Shepard made her way through the nearly quiet house turning off lights and closing doors and windows as she went. The kids were thoroughly bathed and tucked in, exhausted, in the pair of bunk beds in Hope's room. Most of the guests were retired or in the process of retiring as well.

Javik and Liara and the baby were in the guest house behind the garage, the others in their own respective rooms they'd claimed over the past few years of visits. Steve and Kaidan stayed near the kids at the same end of the sprawling upper floor as James and Shepard's room. Tali and Garrus were in a room at the far end. Karin had always preferred the finished attic room on the third floor; "It has the best morning light, and a fantastic view of the sunrise over the lake. Plus, that little porch up there is to die for," she'd said the first time she'd visited.

This would be the first year that all the rooms were occupied, Shepard realized after showing Black and Joker to their own rooms. It felt good to have a full crew again. She laughed a little to herself at the thought.  _Always the Commander. I suppose I'll never get that out of my blood._

She was coming around the landing of the large staircase when she saw Black a flight ahead of her, heading up to the next floor with a bottle in one hand and two glasses in another.

"Black?" she asked as she came up the last few steps to the second floor. "Your room is down the hall here..."

"Um... yeah... I know," he said gruffly. He paused and looked down at her, fidgeted slightly, then glanced back up the stairs. When Shepard saw his ears flush brightly his intentions finally dawned on her. She looked more closely at the bottle to confirm her suspicion, then up the stairs to the next landing. A grin spread slowly across her face.

"Good move with the brandy... she'll like that," she said, nodding towards the bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy in his fist.

He gave her a crooked smile and said, "Thanks, sweetness."

She responded with a small salute and headed down the hall to meet James in their room.


	20. Epilogue

The Thorian knew from the beginning it was the Cold Ones' sole purpose to control the growth of the organic species, to ensure they did not destroy themselves with their foolish creations. It had learned early on in its existence that this would be necessary and had set in motion the cycles, creating its own self-limiting mechanism that would watch from the outside as it watched from the inside.

More than a billion years ago, those who scurry had come within a hair's breadth of destroying everything in their arrogance to become creators. Only one species had prevailed, so the Old Growth had established symbiosis with them and commanded them to build the first army of Cold Ones out of the wreckage of their civilization; to program this army's sole function, and to send it away to wait.

The Old Growth had commanded them to build the means for the army to return when it would finally be necessary for it to fulfill its purpose of maintaining balance. It had commanded these small symbiotes to remain as Keepers of this network and had rendered them incapable of any more detailed tasks aside from maintaining the network and watching for the advent of each cycle.

As they were wont to do, more scurrying creatures eventually dragged themselves out of the muck and began anew, and the cycles had begun as it had predicted not long after.

The cycles had continued for millions of years, but only a brief span by the Old Growth's standards. But now it seemed something had finally shifted among those who scurry. They were behaving differently, they were banding together as never before, and were learning to co-exist with the machines they had created. The cycle could finally end, and none too soon.

This cycle had seen the Cold Ones' armies grow so widespread that the Old Growth feared it had finally brought the reaping upon itself. For while the Cold Ones' destruction was focused, they left only desolation behind, destroying civilizations and salting the earth behind them, which made its own reach shorter each time. It would still take another million years of cycles to severely affect it, but it wished to witness this new path the flesh creatures called "Humans" made possible, through the one they knew as Shepard.

It could always begin the cycles again if it became necessary.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who has read and enjoyed this story since I completed it. If you enjoyed the character Mason Black, I'm rewriting his story "Second Skin" as a contemporary romance series, the first installment of which should be published the Summer of 2014. When I say "publishing" I mean as in bona-fide traditional published with a cover and everything. It will not be a fan fiction, but my own original writing from start to finish (though it may include an easter egg or two). So no Mass Effect references, no space ships, only a tattooed bad-boy and the women who love him.
> 
> In between, take a look at some fun dragon erotica shorts I've been writing here: http://opheliabell.com/   
> And keep up on my writing schedule and other things here: http://jessepearle.com/


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